Chapter 25: Dr. Russell
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Auggie did not sleep for a minute that night. He was afraid to move or make a sound that might wake her. Simply holding her, feeling her calm breathing against his body, feeling her actually get a full night of sleep without waking up screaming was enough for him right then.
Joan had informed him the day before that she and Calder had decided to give Annie a leave of absence until after the babies were born. They felt that after everything she had been through the last few months she needed the time to recover. He hadn't told her yet. Knowing Annie, she was expecting to go back to work as soon as possible.
Auggie actually agreed with Calder and Joan, she needed time. Time not only to recover and take care of herself and the babies but time away. Away from the CIA, away from all the stress and from the trouble with Belenko, especially now.
His first instinct after smashing that flash drive had been to hunt the man down himself, by any means necessary, and personally see to it that Belenko's throat was slit by his own hands. But, after going to the hospital and waiting for hours for Annie to awaken, he had time to calm down, slightly, and think more rationally.
Auggie had conferred with Joan and come up with a less crazy plan than the one that had gotten Annie kidnapped. They were going to give Belenko what he wanted, sort of. Aleksandre Belenko was going to be released into Alexei's custody alright, but he was going to be carrying a GPS tracker of his own in his body. Like the one that had allowed them to find Annie.
Once they got to wherever they were going, the CIA would raid their home base and those two bastards would be locked away in a dirty cell somewhere where they could never hurt anyone ever again. Atleast, that was the part of the plan that Joan was aware of. Auggie and Eyal had other plans after the Belenko's were captured. Plans that did not include them breathing ever again.
Annie stirred beneath his hands. He held his breath and waited to see if she would awaken screaming like she had the last few nights. Surprisingly, she simply grasped his hands in her own and placed a kiss on them.
"Thank you," she said, softly.
"For what?"
"For coming to bed. For holding me. For being here. For... everything."
"Annie, I'm always here. Always."
"I know." He felt her head shift. "We should get ready. I have my mandatory counseling in an hour."
Slowly, he pulled his arms away from her. He couldn't be sure, but he thought he heard the tiniest of whimpers as his hands left her body. "I'll go shower," he said as he headed to the bathroom.
When she heard the water turn on she went to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. She stood by the counter and watched the dark liquid slowly drip into the pot, trying not to think about anything. As it made its final gurgling noises signifying its completion, she grabbed a mug from the cupboard and poured herself a cup. Carrying it to the couch, she sat and spaced out with the cup in her hands.
Auggie stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Stepping over to the sink, he found his toothbrush and toothpaste and began the mundane task of oral hygiene. Knowing he had to be quick, he rinsed his mouth out and stepped back out into the bedroom.
"All yours," he said to the room. When he didn't get a response he said, "Annie?" A feeling of pure panic surged through him when she didn't answer him a second time. He went over to the bed and found it empty. His heart racing, he sprinted towards the living room. The smell of coffee hit his nostrils. "Annie?" he called softly to the room.
Annie looked up from her seat on the couch. She had been spacing so much, she hadn't moved. Suddenly, her mind registered the fact that she was holding a very hot object that was burning her hands and her fingers instinctively released the cup. It crashed to the hard floor, breaking and splattering coffee everywhere.
"Shit!" she said as she sprang up from the couch.
Auggie rushed over to her, nearly slipping on the liquid. "What happened?" he said as he reached her side and reached out for her.
She looked down at her hands with tears in her eyes. Her palms were bright red with burns. It hurt, bad. "God, Auggie, I'm a fucking mess." She said as she collapsed back down onto the couch.
Sitting next to her, he said, "Of course you are. You have every right to be. It's ok." His hand found her arm and touched it lightly, cautiously.
"I burned my hands, Auggie. On coffee. I burned my damn hands on coffee because I was spaced out and didn't even realize I was being burned."
He reached out and pulled her wrists towards him. Lightly, he placed a soft kiss on each palm. "Then we'll take care of it. It'll be ok."
Without warning she wrapped her arms around him and sobbed against his shoulder. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Auggie."
He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her back and forth. He whispered, "I'm here, it'll be ok," over and over into her ear until she calmed. When her shoulders stopped shaking, he pulled her away from him and held her face in his hands. "You go wrap those hands and get dressed. I'll clean this up."
"No, Auggie, I'll..." she began to protest.
He shook his head. "No. I've got this. Go." He kissed her forehead and stood up, bringing her with him.
After he heard her footsteps carry down the hall towards their bedroom he set about the task of cleaning up the coffee.
After cleaning up the coffee, Auggie made a phone call while he knew Annie would still be getting ready.
"Hey, Auggie. How is she?" Eyal's voice came clearly through the earpiece.
"Not great, but getting there I think. Listen, I'm not going to be able to be there for the release, she has counseling. You can handle this part without me, right?"
Eyal's laughter sounded into Auggie's ear. "Auggie, I've been doing this since you were still wrestling litte boys back in high school. I'll be fine. Don't worry, ok. I'll keep you informed."
"Yeah, yeah, ok." Feeling the time on his watch, Auggie continued, "They should be meeting in an hour. I'll call you after she's done. I've gotta go. Talk to you soon." He hung up the phone and made his way back to the bedroom to get dressed.
Thirty minutes later, Annie's name was being called into Dr. Russell's office. She stood and waited for Auggie to stand so she could lead him to the office. He gripped her arm and followed her to the stereotypical leather couch all therapists seem to have.
Dr. Russell sat down in her easy chair across from the pair and waited for Annie to speak. When she didn't after a few minutes, Dr. Russell took the initiative, "Annie, the hospital only requires one mandatory session for cases like yours. Personally, I feel it should be more, but I don't make those rules. But, if you don't talk to me, this will be a waste of time for both of us."
Nodding, Annie began, "I guess you've read my file, then?" Russell nodded. "So yeah, I was... I was raped." She paused after that for a long time. "That's the first time I've actually said it. Said that I was raped." A tear slid down her face and she fidgeted with the bandages on her hands.
Russell gestured to her hands. "What happened there? I didn't see anything about your hands being injured?"
Annie looked down at her hands. "I... I was distracted this morning while holding a cup of coffee and didn't notice it was burning me."
Russell simply made note of this in here little pad she was holding. "Ok, Annie. You made a good first step there, admitting what happened to you. Often that's something many women find hard to get past. Which is why most rapes never get reported. So, are you ready for step two?"
"What's step two?"
"Can you tell me what happened? The sooner you can say those words aloud the sooner you will begin to heal." Annie's eyes grew wide and she felt Auggie's hand trail up and down her back. Feeling Annie wasn't ready for this step, Russell moved on. "Who is it you've brought with you today?"
"Oh, this is Auggie. My boyfriend and the father of the twins I'm carrying." Annie stated simply.
"It's nice to see a guy who sticks around after a woman goes through an experience like this. Often, men can't handle the healing process and check out soon after. I commend you, Auggie."
Auggie nodded in the direction of Dr. Russell. "Listen, Annie, I'm going to be honest with you. What you went through was horrible and it's something you will never forget. But, someday you will wake up and it will just be this thing that happened and it won't infect every thought or dream you have. Have you been having nightmares?" Annie nodded. "Yes, that's very common. I suggest, even if you decide not to come back to see me again, that after each nightmare you keep a journal of what happens in them. Then, when you feel ready, burn the pages. Or tear them up. Or crumple them into the trash. Whatever way feels right. Trust me, doing this will help you feel better. It will make it all seem... less. Do you understand?" Annie again nodded. "Alright, Annie, I think that's all I can do for you today, if you're not ready to fully talk about it. I hope I will see you next week."
Annie stood and felt Auggie grip her arm. "Thank you, Dr. Russell. I don't know if I'll be back. I'll have to think about it."
"Call me, anytime Annie. Even if it's just to talk."
Dr. Russell watched the pair drive away from her window and picked up the receiver of her landline phone in her office. "Yes, it's Russell. Yeah, she was here with the man." She paused while she listened. "Yes, tell him it's begun."
A/N: Ok guys, I need your honest opinions here. I'm considering doing a rewrite of season 4 starting with the episode where Auggie gets on the bus to go see Helen and Annie sits next to him. Opinions? Thoughts? Ideas? Do you want to see me write this? I promise you if I do this I won't forget this story! Feel free to PM me or leave your thoughts in a review. Looking forward to hearing from all of you!