A/N: Thank you for your reviews, guys! Well now, here I've been thinking you would be angry at Stefan but you actually liked his little prank. Truthfully, I don't know my readers.
Please, listen to Rolling in the deep by Adele, it would be a perfect theme for Bon's birthday. And happy winter holidays, everyone!
Chapter twenty five
It was a busy day for Bonnie. First, she had dyed her hair. Then she went shopping with Caroline. After that she almost killed Stefan (and he deserved it). Now the witch was buying the dress for her birthday party, which (she had no doubt anymore) was being planned by her friends. Bonnie got suspicious when Caroline and Elena ditched her again this evening and after she learned that Matt, Tyler and Jeremy also happened to have some urgent things to do, it dawned on her. Although, she wasn't sure she was in the right mood for the party, she didn't want at all her friends' efforts to go in vain. And maybe, the party would distract her, too.
Her father had returned to France already. He was sorry to leave before her birthday but Bonnie assured him it was okay and promised to visit him in Paris soon. Once again she was supposed to stay alone in her house. It surprised her when she realized that that idea saddened her more than always. After she bought the dress she didn't hurry to go home. Instead, she was driving around the town, listening to stereo and trying to cheer up. Something she had never expected to happen had happened to her. Bitterness in her heart was fading. Her fear and anger at Damon disappeared. Maybe, she stopped caring. Maybe, she became a bigger person. And definitely it wasn't because Damon had been crying.
Did he really cry?
Bonnie stopped her car at the traffic light and frowned, clutching the steering wheel. She didn't like that, she didn't like that one bit. She also didn't think it could happen and now, absurdly, she felt guilty.
Come on, he's a one hundred and something year old vampire! He wouldn't cry over something like this. Stefan was just asking for trouble.
The lights turned green and Bonnie accelerated the car. She remembered Damon looking at her, gently, stubbornly, pleadingly. She remembered anger in his eyes when she threw spiteful words in his face. She didn't care about his feelings then. She was simply trying to build the wall between them, and hide behind that wall. It was supposed to protect her from pain, not to hurt him. Now that she understood it, she realized she wasn't pleased with herself at all.
Bonnie took a turn and started driving home. Night was coming down fast. She should just… She would just…
She would think about what she should do later.
The Mystic Grill was crowdy which gave the hope Stanley wasn't going to start a fight here. Or, maybe he was just crazy enough to do it, after all. Damon was cautious and curious at first, but then he relaxed in his chair and looked at the warlock, the challenge gleaming in his eyes.
"How is Bonnie?" Stanley said softly.
Damon smirked with the lift of his shoulder.
"She is fine. Why?"
"Well, she almost died, right?" the warlock said pleasantly.
The smile vanished from the vampire's face. Stanley narrowed his eyes.
"Sometimes, when the energy of the witch is going out of control everyone with the magical power can feel it, being close enough. Such a shame she didn't die, though, it would make everything so much easier."
"She was never an easy woman."
A spark of amusement appeared in the warlock's eyes. Stanley smiled lazily.
"Do you remember the last time we met?" he asked in a silky voice. "That was sweet, you know. The way you wanted to protect her then, when we fought. Both you and Bonnie were so sure of yourselves. Well, it's always good to have no doubt. But unlike her you can't be like this always, can you?"
Damon didn't reply. Stanley looked away and began talking trance-like.
"People, sad and blind creatures, who keep whining about how much they want to be happy... To find true love. And here it is. You're being so close to your true happiness and you refuse to recognize it. And when you lose it you suddenly don't want to let go. But, unluckily, there's one sin which is always punished. Stupidity. And you, Damon, are stupid."
"You know nothing," Damon muttered.
"I could write a book about it," Stanley disagreed. "There was the woman I loved. My own little miracle. I never thought I could love like this until I met her. But it doesn't matter now. I don't know what you did to Bonnie but I know why you did it. It was just a cruel test, wasn't it? You don't even trust yourself, and you can't truly believe someone like her could love someone like you, so you wanted to test her. You wanted to know how much she loves you if she really does. How far she would go for you. But you pushed it too far, I suppose."
"Believe what you want," Damon said, stung.
I wouldn't, he thought. I wouldn't test her feelings. I would trust her with my life even in the moments when she hates me most.
But he had been betrayed so many times in his life.
"Would you give your life away for her?" Stan asked suddenly. Damon stared at him and the warlock leaned closer, "Here's the deal. You die and I leave Bonnie alone. She will be safe and she will survive the war."
"What a tempting offer," Damon said coldly. "But I don't trust you. You're a crazy lunatic."
"At least I don't fuck my dinner, bloodsucker."
It was like the hope had left Stan's eyes. He suddenly seemed very grim and looked at Damon with the apathy of the mentally ill people.
He's like two persons in one, Damon thought. One is a crazy sadistic fucker, the other is sad and… desperate.
"But you didn't surprise me," Stanley continued. "Of course you would think your pathetic existence is much more valuable than her life. I really wanted to let her live but if I have to step over her dead body on my way to you I'll make the confetti out of her and throw her all over your town".
"Charming," Damon said, without realizing he had grabbed his glass so tightly it was about to burst into pieces.
A smile touched Stanley's lips as his eyes lit up with a new thought.
"Has she told you?" he asked suddenly in a deep voice. "About how I made her have the time of her life? Do you know what happened when I was controlling her power?"
Filled with dread Damon didn't say anything. He only hoped his face didn't betray his emotions. Until now he didn't think about what had happened when Stanley had Bonnie captured. She was alive now and only that mattered. But looking at that maniac's face, looking into his evil laughing eyes made the vampire motionless.
"Did she tell you how she was trying to regain control and felt like something was ripping her from inside?" Stanley said melodically. "She looked so adorable, you know. Like a little bird caught in the snare. She didn't ask me to stop, mind you. But her eyes were pleading me to kill her."
Stanley smirked as Damon's face turned white and the dark veins began to show around his eyes.
"For a witch experiencing something like this is like being violated. Not only her body, but her mind and her soul were going through the torture and Bonnie looked at me as if she were asking me, when? When will it be over? When will you kill me? And I was thinking, come on, girl. Just a little more. One more second. One more minute. Until the moment it started she was so happy to know you have escaped. But then she realized fully what it was like to be alone. When her charming lover went away and left her. And then the bad guy came to her. And he tortured her... over and over... and over again."
Damon felt like his head was about to explode, as fury like that he had never experienced before swept over him. He looked at Stanley, unblinking, ready to lunge forward and tear him to shreds and to hell with the people at the bar. He wanted to kill but his instinct told him the warlock wasn't done. And he was right. Stanley's face grew serious.
"Now, listen carefully, fanger. I can kill her. I can kill her with you watching. Tear her apart slowly. Make her beg. Make her scream. I wonder, would you scream as well... And for your information her last scream would be your requiem. Because the moment she is dead nothing would stand between you and Matthew's rage."
Damon opened his mouth and muttered,
"I'll make you burn in hell. That I can promise you. Even if I have to drag you there myself."
"I live in hell, you idiot. But Bonnie doesn't need to."
Stanley stood up and put a small card on the table.
"I crashed here. Come any time you're ready to die. The offer won't stand for long. Before the Erlking's awakening you should be dead or she will die first."
Damon was still as a statue. Stanley left the bar and slowly the vampire took the card. There was the name of the local hotel printed there. Mechanically, Damon pocketed the card and stood from his seat, leaving his drink unfinished. People were giving him funny looks, he probably seemed murderous. Hopefully, his vampire features didn't show.
Only supernatural instincts helped Damon walk straight. He had never thought he could feel such hate, hate he couldn't handle. It was suffocating. Wrath consumed him and nothing he could imagine, no possible torture was enough for Stanley.
But anger wasn't the only feeling that made him move like a sleepwalker. He was scared beyond reason. That bastard talked so casually about killing Bonnie and Damon felt it, he knew it, Stanley meant every word.
He froze when he noticed he was outside now. Desperation flooded him.
Bonnie wasn't going to die.
Bonnie wouldn't die.
Not because of him.
He had been tempting her destiny all that time. She lived in mortal danger and it was his fault.
It was time to put an end to this.
Darkness was coming rapidly into the sky when Bonnie parked her car and entered the house, clutching her bags. She paused at the threshold and turned around. Heavy shapes of the clouds seemed phantasmagorical and an unexpected weird feeling made the witch freeze as she looked at the sky. She remembered when she was little, darkness scared her and now she felt an unexplainable need to hide under the blankets. But that was ridiculous. She would be twenty in two days. And, she was, as Derrick liked to say, the strongest witch of the West, so the darkness must be scared of her.
Humored by that thought Bonnie walked inside and turned on the light in the living room. She dropped her bags on the couch and was about to go upstairs when she saw the sheer curtains dancing in the wind. Bonnie stopped, frowning. She was sure she had locked the window before going out. And since her father wasn't in the town who else could have opened it?
Trying to walk soundlessly, Bonnie went into the kitchen. It was dark and empty. But the ominous silence was getting on her nerves. Every little noise made her want to grab the big kitchen knife which was ridiculous, because she of all people didn't need the knife for self-defense.
The loud bang that came from the hall made her jump. Bonnie rushed to the front door and saw it was closed. The witch chuckled nervously. She had probably forgotten to close the door properly and now the wind blew it shut. Bonnie took a calming breath and locked the door. She returned to the kitchen, with more confidence this time. It was time to end the suspense, she thought as she flicked the light on. Immediately a cry of surprise escaped her mouth.
Damon lifted his head and smirked.
"Never mind. It's only me."
Bonnie stepped back, fuming. She looked at the arrogant vampire incredulously, before she snapped out of her anger and realized she was actually happy to see him. At least he wasn't a burglar, or a serial killer, or a crazy warlock, or a monster from under the bed… And he wasn't crying. Stefan was a liar.
Damon narrowed his eyes, watching her.
"What?" he asked.
"What?" she echoed.
"You look at me differently."
"I look at you the way I always — "
"No," he cut her off. "Something is... unusual."
He moved toward her, almost blindly, his eyes never leaving hers.
"What happened to my beloved witch?" he muttered, reaching out his hand. Bonnie held her breath but didn't back off. Damon smiled when his fingers touched her face. "What's bothering you? Besides trust issues, of course…"
His thumb brushed her jaw line and Bonnie winced at the roughness of this gesture.
"Sorry," Damon said. His eyes were mocking her and suddenly Bonnie wasn't happy at all to see him. "Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you."
"What happened?" Bonnie asked quietly. "You look horrible."
"Do I?" he grimaced. "Don't you find me even a little bit ravishing?"
His thumbs were caressing her neck with the same teasing rough movements.
"Don't you want me?"
Alarmed now, Bonnie grabbed his wrist to stop him but Damon stepped closer and suddenly she was trapped against the wall. She felt a taste of hard liquor when his mouth covered hers.
"Can I kiss you, Bonnie?" he whispered in her lips.
"What's gotten into you?" she managed to say, turning her face away from his. "Please, tell me what happened..."
"What's the matter?" he muttered. "Are you scared? Are you still scared of me? You could turn me to dust if you wanted to, right?"
"I can't turn you to dust," she said honestly. "I don't know such spell."
"Too bad…"
"What happened? Tell me…"
Her words fell on deaf ears. He wasn't trying to kiss her lips anymore. His mouth was on her throat as he clutched her to him. Bonnie made an attempt to shrank away from him, she stumbled and hit the table. Trying to seize the side of the table for support she grabbed by mistake the blade of the kitchen knife, the one she earlier refused to use for self-defense. She felt instant pain and Damon raised his head sharply when she hissed like a wounded kitten. Bonnie brought her hand to her face, looking at warm blood that tickled her fingers. Damon started to laugh quietly.
"Aw…" he said, taking her wrist. She looked in disbelief when he raised her hand to his mouth and licked the blood. "Poor baby…"
He looked as if nothing in the world brought him more pleasure than licking blood off her fingers. Bonnie tried to jerk her hand away.
"Damon!"
"Sh," he placed his fingers on her lips and the next moment his face was distorted by bloodlust. Damon cupped the back of her head and Bonnie felt his fingers digging into her hair. Her eyes narrowed and she sent the wave of pain going through his head, probably making every blood vessel burst. He didn't even wince.
"Since you do nothing to stop me," Damon said thoughtfully. "I assume you want it too."
What do you mean I do nothing? Bonnie wanted to shout. Why was he unfazed by her spells?
She raised her head to look at him when he grabbed her firmly and sank his teeth into her neck. The pain was gone almost immediately. Bonnie closed her eyes briefly, and tried to shove him away but it was a tricky task. And then, as her blood was pouring into his mouth his memories started flooding her mind.
"You'll hunt and kill her blood relatives. Simple as that."
She was trembling in his arms. Her eyes were wide open but she couldn't see anything.
"I won't hurt her like this."
"Touch her – and I will rip you apart."
Tears were blurring her vision. She couldn't see him, she couldn't see the crazy vampire who was munching on her neck. Her hands became weak but she grabbed the fabric of Damon's shirt tightly.
He came back for me… But why? And why hadn't he told me? I will never get him.
Another vision poured into her mind. She heard a whisper,
"Tell me where she is."
"Dead, she's dead, she's dead and you will never…"
Bonnie got a jolt when she heard the terrible snap as Damon killed Julian. Her shaking grew more violent.
"Damon," she heard herself whisper.
"I'm here."
It was almost like the darkness had whispered those words to her.
Bonnie inhaled deeply but it wasn't enough. She needed oxygen badly. Her head was very heavy and Bonnie closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to Damon's shoulder. The floor disappeared beneath her feet and the room swam around her. Her kitchen turned into a merry-go-round and Bonnie moaned in protest.
"Be still, Bonnie."
She didn't argue because she liked the way he cradled her in his arms. But when she felt a faint smell of blood she jerked her head.
"No — "
"Easy…"
She grimaced with her eyes closed and he whispered gently,
"Please, drink. I took a lot."
Since she didn't want to hear him sound so sad she obediently took a gulp and a gush of Damon's blood came into her mouth. For a brief moment her vision was clearing, she recognized her bed and her room, but everything still seemed surreal. It was so dark around her.
Bonnie stopped drinking but before she had time to exhale Damon's lips were on hers. He kissed her hungrily, trailing his fingers against her collarbone. Bonnie slowly raised her hand and touched his face. He shut his eyes and turned his head slightly, kissing the tips of her fingers, her palm and her pulse point. His face was above hers and in the dark it looked like a mask.
Damon's hand slipped under her shirt, he leaned closer and his mouth was raining kisses across her throat. His teeth scraped her skin and he froze. Bonnie didn't move, she felt crushed under his weight.
"Damon," she sighed and whispered furiously, "What the hell was that?"
"It was me not taking no for an answer," he muttered. Then he buried his face in the crook of her neck. "Bonnie, I swear you're going to drive me mad."
"Look who's talking."
Bonnie didn't know for sure whether she was unconscious for a few moments or simply disorientated, confused by darkness, lust and blood loss. Now she felt very awake. It was even darker in the room than before. Bonnie shifted and realized that her hand was on his hand. She felt the ring on his finger. Damon was still here. He was still holding her in his arms. Bonnie frowned and sat up. He moved when she moved and put his hands on her upper arms.
"Bonnie?"
She rubbed her eyes, nodding. Damon placed a kiss behind her ear.
"Every time I try not to hurt you I end up hurting you."
Her fingers curled. She could hear something in his voice, like he was in pain and trying to hide it. It was hard to tell if he was angry at her or someone else. But she didn't want to see him sad anyway.
"What happened?" she asked quietly.
He didn't answer. Bonnie turned to him and saw his bright eyes watching her fixedly.
"What did he do to you?" Damon said.
"What are you talking about?"
"That warlock. Stanley. What did he do?"
Cold fury flooded her and she asked harshly,
"Did you meet him again?"
Damon said nothing. Bonnie felt her heart sink. If Stanley laid a finger on Damon…
"Did he hurt you?" she asked.
Again, no answer. Bonnie was growing desperate. One thing she had forgotten in her anger; Stanley was after Damon and she abandoned him when she was supposed to protect him.
"Damon, you didn't try to fight him, right? Why don't you answer, are you hurt, what did he do?"
"What did he do to you?" he said and there were steely notes in his voice.
Bonnie frowned.
"What did he tell you?"
That was probably the wrong question to ask because all she got was angry silence.
"Nothing I can't handle," she said hastily and took his hand. "Listen to me. He is evil. Worse than Klaus, worse than anybody... Don't take whatever he told you seriously. He wants to destroy us all. Don't help him. Okay?"
She had never felt so helpless in her whole life. Damon closed his eyes.
"You know, I wanted to protect you."
"You did," she said and the words started escaping her mouth before she had time to weigh them. "You are the reason I remained sane... The reason I'm still breathing now. You know it, right?"
"No, I don't."
"But you saved my life!"
"You're not safe. Not until this bastard gets what he wants."
Bonnie felt his pain and fury, she felt his despair and her thoughts raced. She held her breath, knowing too well she would do everything to help the man she loved and her anger at him seemed so unimportant. Bonnie put her hands on his shoulders but he didn't react.
"Let me tell you something."
Damon frowned slightly; there was his trademark expression on his face, "I-am-too-cool-for-this-world-to-understand-so-it's-only-left-to-grieve-for-the-human-race". Bonnie smiled, reclining on pillows, and wrapped her arms around his neck so he was actually forced to snuggle with her. His head was rested on her shoulder and Bonnie started caressing his hair.
"Damon," she called him softly. "Anything Stanley can do I can do better."
He didn't smile. Bonnie knit her eyebrows.
"He's not stronger than me," she said seriously. "He also has his weaknesses."
"What is his weakness?" Damon asked quietly.
"His past."
He closed his eyes as Bonnie continued,
"Stanley and Margaret used to be together. He loved her and she loved him and it was love at first sight and since you're such a bloody romantic you'll like the story. It's quite sappy, actually."
"Love at first sight is overrated," Damon muttered. "And I'm sexy, not sappy.'
Bonnie scoffed but said sternly,
"Don't interrupt me."
"Sorry."
Bonnie rubbed her jaw against the top of his head and kissed his hair gently and he finally relaxed against her. She was warm and soft; Damon felt like the poison was being pulled out of his body and some terrible wound that had been bothering him since before he had even met Bonnie finally started to close. She was healing him without realizing it. He was actually afraid to move now, afraid to scare her off.
"He was Will's best friend and one day he met his friend's sister," Bonnie said gently. "Her powers have manifested by that time. And he was already a strong warlock. They thought they were meant to be together. They were like two parts of one being. Like Edward and Bella."
"Oh damn… Do I look like Caroline to you?"
A wave of relief swept over Bonnie. This time her lame joke was helping. The cheeky Damon was returning. She smiled and said softly,
"And they never doubted each other."
"So what happened?"
"They were proved to be wrong. Stanley learned about Matthew Hopkins. He knew he was still alive. John, Margaret's and Will's father fought him twice. But he couldn't defeat him. Will wanted to fight the Witchfinder General himself. Stanley wanted the same thing for Margaret's sake."
"Your friends are crazy. Like you are."
"You're right," she chuckled. "But if Will wanted a real fight, Stanley wanted to know Hopkins' reasons first. He and Margaret decided to find him. And they found him, and everything went horrible."
"What happened?"
"Magic… Worst magic. Matthew almost killed them both. Margaret was… She was trapped in some kind of energetic barrier. She couldn't get out and she was hurt so badly she can't walk anymore. And Stanley ran away."
"What do you mean, ran away?"
"He left her there. He left her to die and then he joined Hopkins. Margaret never saw him again. And trust me she was trying to find him."
Damon looked startled.
"Why?"
"Because she loves him."
"But he betrayed her," Damon said. "You told me he had left her to die. He's such a bastard and she still loves him?"
"He's a bastard alright," Bonnie said. "But she still loves him… It's just… Sometimes you simply can't help it."
Silence fell between them. Bonnie knew she calmed Damon down and stopped stroking his hair. But her arm was still around his shoulders. Her eyes had already adjusted to the darkness and she started gazing out the window, not realizing what exactly she wanted to see.
After a minute or so she felt Damon shift.
"Do you want me to leave?"
"Uh… You can stay if you want to," she said awkwardly.
"I want to," he said and straightened up. "But let's switch positions."
Bonnie began laughing.
"Don't get too excited," Damon said grumpily.
"Ignore me… I'm just glad it doesn't take you too long to become your normal self."
"Whatever."
He pulled her to almost lie on him and Bonnie closed her eyes when he wrapped his arms around her. She was itching to ask what had happened between Stanley and him after all and, more than that she wanted to find that bastard and send him to hell but she lay still until Damon said lazily,
"Stefan said you kissed like a child but I beg to differ."
Bonnie flushed.
"Your idiot brother doesn't know what he's talking about!" she exclaimed. "He's just like you, crazy and selfish!"
"And I forgive you for your harsh words."
Damon seemed calm while Bonnie felt the passion she didn't know she possessed. She wanted to tell Damon that Stefan indeed was a fool and she would never kiss him, and she didn't care about him one way or the other. No way in hell Damon would feel inferior to his little brother because of her.
The cloud shifted and Bonnie's room was suddenly filled with moonlight. Bonnie saw Damon smiling. He didn't seem angry or sad and she realized he had been simply teasing her. It didn't bother her. When he looked her deeply in the eyes she smiled shyly. Bravery, Stefan said. She so wanted to be brave, she wanted to make Damon happy and she was tired of looking back at the past that tortured them both.
"Damon?" Bonnie whispered.
"Hm?"
"Next time you try to feed on me… I'll set your ass on fire."
"Deal," he said into her hair.
She closed her eyes and heard his voice again,
"I'm sorry, Bonnie… And I know I'm selfish but even after what I did I still don't want you to hate me."
"I don't," she said immediately. "I don't hate you and it's going to be okay."
"Can I come to your birthday?"
"Do you need my permission?"
"Your invitation."
A smile touched her lips.
"Oh. I guilt-tripped you big time…"
"So… Can I come?"
"Mm-hmm," she muttered. "Good night."
"Good night," he answered.
She pushed her fears aside; she believed with all her heart Damon was safe as long as she was with him. Damon felt the same way. He came to Bonnie's place because he wanted to see her one last time, he wanted to make her angry so she wouldn't feel guilty or sad when he left. But right now he couldn't imagine leaving her. Going to Stanley of his own will seemed impossible. Bonnie was safe as long as he was with her.
When the time comes, he mused. If I realize I can't protect her after all I'll do as he said. But until then…
Until then he would be with Bonnie.
A beam of golden sunlight touched Damon's face and he woke up. For a few moments he watched the ceiling that was covered with rays of sunshine, then his eyes slowly wandered to the sleeping girl in his arms. Bonnie was wearing a white t-shirt and Damon smelt soap and toothpaste. So she left her bed without waking him up, took a shower and... got back into bed, cuddled up with him and fell asleep again. It was so fucking cute.
So he wasn't the only one who wanted the last night to continue, because the daytime would surely bring their old fighting to its cold garish light. Damon moved her soft, now light brown hair out of her face. This color worked for her but he hated to remember why she had needed to dye her hair. With her lashes resting against her cheeks, Bonnie looked so fragile and beautiful now. Damon grew thoughtful.
Maybe, in some weird twisted way Stanley was right, after all. Maybe, Damon actually wanted to know whether Bonnie could still hate him if he did something wrong. Because he couldn't promise even himself he wouldn't screw up. Maybe, partly he decided to help Klaus just to see if Bonnie's feelings for him had really changed. But he didn't want any proofs or promises anymore. Being next to her was good enough.
He closed his eyes, capturing her lips in a chaste kiss. She didn't shift. Slowly, Damon let her go and stood up. Bonnie was still sleeping when he left the room.
The Lockwood mansion was gleaming like a Christmas tree. Damon arrived at the party when everybody was already having fun. The hall and the living room were decorated brightly, and there was a big screen in the living room, showing Bonnie's pictures of all ages. Damon stopped to look at them. After the night that he spent in her house he didn't see her and they didn't talk on the phone. Damon had left before she woke up and was actually nervous about making another step. He wanted to be sure Bonnie was ready to forgive him, otherwise he was afraid he would screw up again.
He had to admit, the party was as sophisticated as a teenagers' party possibly could be. Damon moved through the shifting crowd, trying to find Bonnie. He saw Stefan and Elena, Tyler and Matt, but the witch was nowhere to be seen. He was getting frustrated. Did Caroline have to invite all those people who he didn't even know? No wonder he couldn't find his witch in this crowd.
He grabbed a glass of some green cocktail (why didn't they serve scotch was beyond him) when he finally saw her. Bonnie was coming downstairs with her blonde giggling friend by her side. Damon lowered his glass, watching her. Bonnie was wearing a strapless sapphire blue dress and looked so beautiful with her bright eyes and pearl-white smile he wanted to freeze the picture. She didn't see him. And she looked so happy. Did she think about him at all?
His courage was fading. He had hurt Bonnie in every imaginable way. Could she really forgive him? Well, she was kind and selfless beyond words. She was the girl who laughed at the mere idea of the imaginary princess tiara. She was so loyal to her selfish friends and she was always there for them when they needed her. But the day would come, Damon knew it, and Bonnie would understand she should live her own life. Her eyes had already begun to open. What would her future life be like? If he didn't fix everything before it was too late, she would start dating some sweet boys, human boys, of course, and then one day she would fall in love. Wouldn't she? Damon knew she didn't really like dangerous guys. She could handle them because she was strong. It was her bad luck she fell for him. But if she met someone who would deserve her, she would forget Damon, wouldn't she?
Being herself, she would love with all her heart, she would be loyal. Her kindness and bravery would guide her through her life, it was an everlasting flame. After all, her smile was always so genuine, she knew how to be happy, no matter what, and, damn it, she had so many reasons to hate people around her, he wouldn't blame her if she became a bitter and sad creature. But Bonnie would never be like that. Sometimes she seemed lost and sometimes he knew she was lonely but sooner or later she would find her way and…
And she would leave him behind.
Damon felt a limp in his throat. Who was he for her? A vampire who tortured her. A vampire who tried to kill her. A vampire who turned her mother. Not to mention, he was once obsessed with her best friend. Damon looked at beautiful and smiling Elena. Did Bonnie really understand her friend? Or was her loyalty blinding her?
Elena would call Damon when she wanted to and she would expect him to run to her breaking his neck. And everyone would expect that. Even Stefan who worshipped Elena, and Caroline, everyone… He made such a fool out of himself.
I hate them all, Damon thought suddenly.
They were like the bright marionette dolls, heartless and thoughtless, and the only real, living and breathing creature was Bonnie. What the hell was happening to him? Where did all those thoughts come from?
He never felt this way. He was becoming obsessed, probably, for Bonnie was still here and it wasn't so long ago since he held her in his arms. She said she didn't hate him and it was like a promise of something more. Why did he feel like the witch could disappear any moment, like someone could take her away from him? Of course, he was a vampire, his feelings were always intensified. He wondered dimly if he should just switch off his emotions but he couldn't. He didn't want to lose these feelings. Truth be told, he wasn't miserable, not anymore. He was surrounded by darkness but he knew that soon enough he would feel the warmth of the sun on his face and everything would change. Bonnie had already changed everything.
When their eyes finally met he smiled. Bonnie smiled back and nodded. Until that moment he felt like the Goblin King Jareth in the ballroom but now he calmed down when he realized Bonnie wasn't going to run away from him. Caroline who also noticed him didn't seem pleased at all and glared at him for eye-raping her friend. He didn't care. Caroline had no right at all to judge him. None of them did. If Bonnie were his, his friend, he would tear Heaven and Hell apart to find her. Caroline and Elena didn't do anything. They didn't deserve her.
"Now it's time for the surprise!" the blonde chimed and grabbed Bonnie's hand. "Come outside!"
People were rushing outdoors and Damon followed the crowd. Finally he was two steps away from Bonnie. Caroline pointed at the sky and suddenly there was the sound of the volley as the fireworks started. Everyone began to cheer when the sparks colored the sky.
"That's amazing," Bonnie whispered. She beamed at Caroline and Elena, "I love you, guys, you're the best!"
I guess that's what I didn't think about last year, Damon said, bitterly. Fireworks.
Indeed, something was wrong with him. He was jealous again. Of Caroline and Elena.
"Caroline, you outdid yourself," he said sarcastically. "I just can't see the white swans walking around and rose petals everywhere. Shame on you."
Bonnie heard him and turned her head. Fireworks erupted again and her face was lit up with that flash. Damon looked at her and for a second she was captured by that gaze. His eyes held so much affection and along with that bitterness that Bonnie was completely caught off guard.
"Oh, shut up, Damon," Caroline said. "The only thing you always want is to get drunk, so..."
"Caroline," Bonnie said softly. "Come on, it's my birthday."
She looked upwards again. Damon felt someone patting his shoulder and turned around to see his brother. Stefan gave him a look of teasing understanding.
"Okay, let's go back inside!" Caroline said cheerfully, when the show was over. "Come on, birthday girl."
Damon rolled his eyes, getting really annoyed at the blonde Cerberus. Stefan waited for the crowd to move inside and smiled at Damon.
"So you came!" he said with mock excitement.
Damon glared at him.
"There are moments in my life when I think I would kill to have a sister instead of you."
"You would probably have a better life," Stefan nodded. "By the way, you killed for less."
"Don't forget this."
Damon turned to the entrance when Stefan asked,
"Did you talk?"
"Not your business."
"You're welcome, brother. Good, I was already thinking about locking you up in the dungeon until you get alone…"
Damon shook his head in disbelief and walked inside without looking back at Stefan, so he didn't see his brother's smile.
What is he doing?
Bonnie refreshed her lip gloss, doing her best to avoid Caroline's X-ray eyes. The girls were in Tyler's room and while the witch was trying to look concerned about her makeup, Caroline was fuming.
"If you don't want him here I'll get rid of him," she offered sweetly and dangerously.
"I invited him!" Bonnie hissed.
"Why?"
"Because he…" Bonnie stopped and turned to her friend. "It's complicated."
"There's nothing complicated about this!" Caroline whispered furiously. "He made you suffer. Now it's his turn!"
"I don't want him to suffer," Bonnie said, surprised. "What are you talking about?"
"Oh my God! So he's going to get away with that!"
"Caroline, I'm not going to punish him or something," Bonnie said. "I just wanted to be away from him. I couldn't look at him after what he did."
"So that's why you invited him to your party, which was a secret one, by the way! Now tell me, how are you supposed not to look at him? Are you going to walk with your eyes closed?"
Bonnie sighed. It was stupid. Maybe, Caroline was right. Damon had disappeared after the night when he met Stanley and Bonnie didn't know what to do. He didn't call. Was she supposed to call first? Were they still fighting? Did she feel angry? Did she forgive him? No wonder Caroline was confused. If Bonnie didn't understand her own feelings, what could she say about Damon's? She only knew one thing. When she saw him really hurt she forgot about her own misery in a heartbeat.
Caroline sat down, biting her lips, when the door opened and Elena walked in.
"There you two are. What is going on?"
"Damon," Caroline snapped, frowning.
Elena looked at Bonnie shrewdly.
"Do you want him to leave?"
"She invited him!" Caroline said. "Can you believe it?"
Elena didn't say anything but stared at the witch who raised her arms helplessly.
"Look, leave Damon alone. Let him do what he wants to do. He has every right to be here. It may sound weird but it's true. Now, excuse me, I'm going to celebrate."
She left her friends and walked downstairs. Her face was burning when she remembered the skeptical looks Elena and Caroline kept giving her. She probably looked like a naïve girl who was madly in love with the bad guy.
The party was getting wild downstairs. But nobody actually paid attention to the birthday girl who was walking through the crowd. Bonnie took a quick look around and slipped out on to the empty terrace. Cool evening wind touched her hot face.
Okay, so I still love him. Caroline and Elena see that. And maybe Damon sees it as well. Maybe, he understands that even if I'm angry I still love him.
She closed her eyes and smiled. The terrace door opened again, letting out the sounds of music. Bonnie turned around and saw Damon in the flesh. She could finally take a good look at him. Dashing as always, wearing a dress shirt and black suit, he didn't seem heartbroken anymore.
"I just wanted some fresh air," she said.
"I heard your hissing contest."
She was blushing again but shrugged nonchalantly.
"Really? With all this noise?"
"It's not difficult when you concentrate on one thing you want to listen to which for me happens to be your voice."
He approached her as their eyes locked. Bonnie watched him with her head on one side. Damon's eyes became even brighter than usual.
"Happy birthday," he said finally.
"Thank you."
He reached out slowly and touched her hair. It was straight tonight.
"It's still unusual…"
"Yeah. I'm also getting used to it. But Care is sure it's my true color."
"You're the witch and still Caroline is the one who says Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo."
She chuckled and he returned her smile. Then his eyes grew serious again.
"I've got a gift for you."
Now Bonnie looked slightly alarmed.
"Damon, I — "
"Don't," he cut her off. Then he saw her face and softened his voice, "I just want to give it to you. You can throw it away the moment you have it."
She lowered her head.
"But you don't have to give me anything."
"Don't say unnecessary things."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box decorated with a purple ribbon.
"I hope it's not expensive," Bonnie chuckled although she felt extremely uneasy.
"It cost me a fortune." She looked at him pointedly and he smiled. "Joking."
She unwrapped it hesitantly. Damon watched her fingers move and all he wanted was to grab her hand and press it to his lips. When she saw the bracelet her eyes lit up.
"Wow," Bonnie exclaimed, taking it carefully. White gold glittered in her hand. "It's really beautiful. What is..."
She brought it closer to her eyes and saw a miniature pendant that looked like a little bird, a swallow. Bonnie was surprised. It was weird because she at once remembered Stanley's mild obsession with birds. But she loved Damon's gift immediately. Not because it was Damon's gift, because it was hers. It was her.
He gave her another smile but this time it didn't reach his eyes. It was like he wanted to show her he was okay but judging from the way he looked at her he wasn't the happiest person in the world.
"Not exactly witchy," Damon said. "But since you like to fly away... Just make sure you'll never get lost and always will find your way back."
Find your way back to me.
Bonnie lowered her lashes. It took her two seconds to calm down. When she looked up at him she was smiling.
"Can I put it on your wrist?"
She nodded and he did that. Bonnie smiled again.
"Thank you, Damon. It's beautiful, I love it."
"Good…"
Bonnie stepped back and Damon raised his head.
"Do you remember your birthday last year?" he said suddenly, his voice rising.
"Of course I do," she answered.
"Do you really..."
Her eyes became shiny and he touched her face gently.
"Happy birthday, little witch," he said in a whisper. "May your every wish come true."
He drew his hand back and walked past her. Bonnie closed her eyes. Her heart was pounding painfully in her chest. That was enough, she thought. She didn't want him to look at her like this. He just wanted to protect her, in his twisted, vampire, Damon way.
Just tell him…
"I can't do it anymore," Bonnie whispered and turned around. "Wait, Damon!"
She saw nobody. Damon disappeared in the darkness.
Bonnie sighed and rubbed her face. She didn't want to fight anymore. She wanted to trust him. The witch raised her head, looked at the glass door and saw her own reflection.
"Coward," she said through gritted teeth.
"That's no way to talk to a birthday girl," an amused voice sounded behind her.
Bonnie turned around and beamed. The girl in front of her smiled and reached out her arms.
"Margaret," Bonnie whispered and rushed over to hug her friend.
"The happiest birthday to you," Mag said affectionately.
The lights of the Lockwood mansion were already far behind him but he could still hear the music. And her words were still ringing in his head.
I just wanted to be away from him. I couldn't look at him after what he did.
But she looked at him with no hate at all. Or maybe he was imagining things now? Or maybe… Did Bonnie pity him? No, that seemed unlikely.
Damon froze in his tracks. Without realizing, his lips shaped a word, one word. Her name. Desperately, Stefan said. That was the right word. Desperately… He felt as if he were swallowed by the darkness. It was an explosive mixture of horror and excitement and he knew he wasn't simply attracted to her anymore. He felt terrible when she wasn't close. He wanted to kill when she was in pain. He wanted to hold her in his arms. He believed she could be safe only in his arms.
And he would have her back, no matter what.
Damon narrowed his eyes at the starry sky. There was no point in hiding it. And he certainly wasn't going to fight it any longer. The feeling clawed its way onto the surface. And the reasons for this feeling would be dealt with later.
He loved Bonnie Bennett…
He loved her. As simple as that.
A/N: Yeah, Damon, such a great epiphany. Go, Bamon :) BTW, at this point in my story Damon is officially over Elena.