Love from jealousy – part 25

By Fishiexy

Kyle's thoughts in italics

Declan looked up in annoyance as someone interrupted his last minute completion of yesterday's homework by swearing loudly. Hang on a minute! He recognized the owner of those dulcet tones! He glanced around to see Lori rummaging through her bag and slamming her books down on her desk. God! She looked so pissed off! He grimaced to himself as he turned back to his overdue work. He certainly didn't miss her temper and her acerbic attitude.

'Oh great, that's all I need!'

Declan turned around once more on hearing Lori's sarcastic mutterings and was surprised to see her glaring accusingly at Amanda Bloom who had just walked into the classroom. Goodness! What had the poor girl done to earn the wrath of the great Lori Trager? Amanda luckily didn't seem to have noticed that she was being given the evil eye and appeared to be deep in thought, her forehead wrinkling as she frowned to herself. And with that expression of uncertainty and anxious bewilderment on her face, for a split second Declan could have sworn he was looking at Kyle…

And then his heart contracted painfully the way it had been doing repeatedly over the last few weeks whenever he thought about Kyle, which was inevitably followed by feelings of anger, confusion, sadness and grief as the realization of the friendship that he'd lost hit home yet again.

He remembered back to the day when he had really met Kyle for the first time. It was on Lori's birthday which was also the day of that awful storm when he'd crashed his car, freaked out and driven away without a backward glance… God! He remembered it like it was yesterday: He'd just had yet another row with his dad and had turned around and walked out of the house, got in his car and left. He didn't know where he was going; just that he had to get away from his father because he was so angry he was actually worried that he might do something that he would later regret…He smiled wryly to himself over the irony of it all.

It had been such a foul night and if he had been thinking straight, or indeed at all, then he would never have been behind the wheel in those weather conditions. The rain was lashing almost horizontally and the wind was buffeting the car around making it impossible to see more than a few yards in front of his face despite having the windscreen wipers on at maximum speed. He turned a corner and knew immediately he had taken it too fast. He felt the car skid uncontrollably and then there was a loud, sickening crunch and he was thrown sideways by an invisible force, his body restrained by the seatbelt, but his head, heavy, mobile and unprotected slammed into the metal frame of the window.

He pulled the car to a stop half way across the road and turned around in his seat looking out through the driving rain where he could see the blurry red tail lights of another car. Oh God! He hadn't been concentrating or looking where he was going. Was he actually on the wrong side of the road? Was it possible that he had hurt someone? Killed someone? And suddenly he just panicked. He slung the car into gear and rammed his foot down on the accelerator as hard as he could and just drove off. It was only when he found himself outside the front of Lori's house did the enormity of what he'd done flood his consciousness: He was a hit and run driver! Christ! What was he going to do? He couldn't go home, his dad would kill him and besides he would then have to admit that his dad had been right all along; he was a total disaster of a person. And that was how he found himself standing outside Kyle's window in the pouring rain at two o'clock in the morning.

Initially he was going to try and climb up to Lori's bedroom but in that weather and not to mention the rather shaky state he was in after what had just happened to him, he would have probably slipped and broken his neck. But then he remembered Lori telling him about her foster-brother and how he slept downstairs in her dad's old workshop.

He had to admire Mrs. Trager for taking in a foster-kid but a teenager with memory loss? Who knew what sort of problems he had coming from juvie? And from some of the weird things that Lori had told him, like wandering around downtown Seattle naked for starters, he certainly wouldn't want to have the kid staying at his house! So what had Mrs. Trager been thinking just bringing him home like that? And there'd been no discussion with her real kids about their thoughts on the matter. Declan actually felt quite worried for Lori, what with some freaky stranger wandering freely around her house. But he supposed at least they were being careful and making him sleep away from the rest of the family just in case he was some sort of adolescent axe murderer…

Declan tapped on the window while pulling his jacket collar up and hunching his shoulders against the driving rain. God! It was pissing down; he was already soaked and he had only been standing there for about 20 seconds. He saw a dark shape moving towards the window and then a light went on and for a split second the boy on the other side of the glass stared back at him, eyes wide in fear as if he had suddenly seen a ghost. Then he heard the window being opened and before the young occupier of the room could change his mind he had jumped up and climbed inside.

'Thanks man. It's getting pretty wet out there!'

The boy shut the window and let down the blinds before turning back to stare at him.

Declan remembered back to the night of his party when Lori had got totally hammered and had been carried home by a kung-fu kicking knight in shining armor. And when Hillary had told him about it the next day he had to admit he was a little jealous although of course he hadn't let on to Lori about that but he had no idea it was this boy until Lori had come clean a few days later and had explained about the strange new member of her family. He looked across at Lori's foster-brother and something about him seemed vaguely familiar; the dark messy hair, the large, deep set eyes, the curious and interested expression, the oddly stiff way he moved with his arms almost motionless and close by his sides, the tee-shirt and thin cotton pants he was wearing. Yeah, he'd seen those before…

'You're Kyle right? The amnesia guy?'

'Yes!'

'You broke the window at my party. My dad had an aneurysm over that one!'

He looked accusingly over at Kyle but wasn't quite sure what he was expecting from him after that slightly aggressive opening gambit; a bit of initial teenage bonding maybe over the shared understanding of angry parents, damaged property and a forbidden party where underage drinking was going on? An explanation of how he managed to walk through an external sliding window of reinforced safety glass? Or maybe a little bragging about what had happened after that with Lori because by all accounts his brush with the cop and the speed of his moves to avoid arrest had been simply awesome. But Kyle just stood there looking at him; his face a blank and despite the implication that it had been him that had got Declan into trouble with his father for breaking the window he didn't seem to know what to say. He finally settled for a one word apology.

'Sorry?'

'He has aneurysms over everything. So whatever, it's cool!'

Declan turned away and picked up a towel lying on a chair.

'You mind?' He said paying lip service to the illusion of conventional politeness by asking permission but not waiting long enough for Kyle to give his consent before towelling himself dry.

Kyle for his part didn't seem bothered but just kept watching him as though he was waiting for something to happen and then Declan heard the first sentence that Kyle had spoken that contained more than one word in it.

'You know, Lori's sleeping…'

His voice was deep and slow and completely at odds with the youthful look that both his face with its expression of wide-eyed curiosity and his slim body with its slightly undeveloped muscle bulk gave him and it threw Declan for a second before he realized just what it was that Kyle had said to him.

He was kidding right? It was two o'clock in the morning! What else was Lori supposed to be doing? But the expression on his face was so earnest and sincere… Maybe he really was just trying to be helpful.

'Well, yeah, it's pretty late. I need a place to crash and I didn't think it was too smart to climb in through her window in the rain.'

'You're bleeding!'

There was now a note of concern in Kyle's voice. Declan looked down at the towel.

'Crap! Sorry!'

He dabbed at his head again and remembered back to how his car had been hit from the side. He must have been so pumped up on adrenaline that he didn't even feel the pain as his skin and the tissues beneath split open like a ripe melon.

'It's ok, but what happened to you?'

Like he was going to tell Lori's strange kid foster-brother whom he'd only just met that he was a hit and run driver! Although maybe Kyle had done worse things than that and maybe those things were the reason why he was in foster-care in the first place. But no one knew what had gone on in his past because very conveniently he couldn't remember anything!

'It's a long story. It's too boring. Hey! You got an extra blanket or something? I'll crash on your floor!'

And to give him his dues, Kyle didn't raise an eyebrow at the fact that an unknown, unexpected, soaking wet and bleeding person who had just climbed into his room at two o'clock in the morning had invited himself to spend the night with no explanation about why he was here or how he had been injured. He watched Kyle move to the wardrobe to get him a blanket and then looked around at the room. Lori had said that Kyle was staying in her dad's workshop, but this didn't look like any workshop he had ever seen.

'What is this place?' He asked.

'My bedroom!' Kyle told him as if it were obvious.

There was the deep, slow voice again almost hypnotic in quality, the syllables of the words spoken, long and drawn out and virtually equal in length making his speech appear somewhat childish in nature.

'Where's the bed?' Declan queried, humouring him for lack of anything better to do.

Kyle gestured to the large white tub in the center of the room.

'You sleep in a tub?' Declan asked sarcastically. The kid was yanking his chain!

'Yeah.'

But from the way he said it, like it was a totally normal thing to do and from the open and sincere look on his face, Declan realized in shock and amazement that he was in fact telling the truth. He couldn't believe it; Lori's foster-brother Kyle slept in a bathtub!

'Trager said you were a head case!'

And the words had tumbled out before he'd even had time to think about them. Declan watched in embarrassment as Kyle's eyes widened imperceptibly and the expression of curiosity and innocence on his face was replaced by a look of pain and confusion.

'I…I mean, not like rudely.' He back-pedalled furiously.

What was going on? He didn't understand what had just happened! Lori had told him that Kyle was 16 years old yet he was behaving as if he were a small child who had been betrayed by a trusted grown-up! The hurt look on his face made Declan feel just awful and if he could have taken the sarcastic comment back he would have done so in an instant.

He had expected some sort of retribution even if it had only been a look of anger, scorn or resentment after all he'd just insulted the kid and let it slip that his foster-sister had been talking about him behind his back to a third party! But as Kyle's eyes met his he found that there was no malice there at all. Just like a small child, it seemed that Kyle didn't hold a grudge either.

'Whatever, it's cool!'

He was a great mimic too, Declan realized as he listened to his own words echoed back at him.

'The rain should let up by morning.' He said turning away and returning to his task of towelling himself dry.

'Actually it won't let up 'till 2:27 tomorrow afternoon.' Kyle informed him as though it were a certainty and a statement of fact.

Declan frowned in irritation. Like he gave a shit about the weather! He was only trying to make conversation for Christ's sake because just standing there in awkward silence with Kyle's intense dark eyes on him all the time, eerily watching and waiting was starting to freak him out! He grabbed the pillow and blanket from Kyle's hands. There was something extremely odd about this kid and Declan felt strangely uncomfortable around him.

'Yeah, whatever!' He said dismissively and settled himself down on the floor on his back.

And as he lay there in the darkness, he could hear Kyle getting into the tub and making himself comfortable and then the room was quiet save for the white noise of the rain still pounding down outside. Declan shook his head in disbelief; it seemed he actually was going to sleep in the bathtub. Lori was right! Kyle really was a fucked up head case. Declan hoped he wasn't doing anything stupid by spending the night with him…

But apart from waking up slightly stiff from sleeping on the floor and remembering with a sick feeling what had happened to him the previous night, everything seemed fine until Kyle brought Lori into the room. She was pissed that he was there because she was worried that her parents would find out and jump to the wrong conclusion when for once nothing actually had happened. He had told her to relax and that he was on his way out and that her parents would never know.

'They'd better not!' She warned him ominously before seemingly relenting and sighing. 'Just don't make a sound, ok?'

He nodded as he followed her to the front door but before he had got even half way through it he was coming back in again having been caught by Lori's dad. He put on his most winning smile, introduced himself and said he had just arrived to wish Lori a happy birthday and the next thing he knew he was eating blueberry pancakes, discussing basketball and listening to Kyle going on about death, longevity and something to do with the lifespan of the Japanese.

'Whose idea was it to let him read the encyclopaedia?' Lori said grinning and turning her head to look affectionately at Kyle.

And as Declan saw Kyle's face form a small, shy smile in return and then watched with increasing discomfort at the way his eyes with their unusual color gazed intently at Lori from beneath long dark lashes, he felt a sudden irrational surge of jealousy at the way this bizarre boy was staring at his girl-friend.

And it was weird because the whole family just seemed to accept his insane, random babbling as if it were a normal part of their breakfast conversation and then they all looked fondly at him, smiling indulgently exactly as they would if he had been a kid that had said something inappropriate yet amusing at the table, like they were humoring him and wanted to make him feel special and included.

But Lori had said that her mom reckoned Kyle was about 16 which made him older than her real brother, therefore he wasn't the baby of the family so why did everyone treat him as if were when in reality he was teenager? And being a teenage boy himself he knew exactly what thoughts and desires would be running through Kyle's mind at the current moment, sitting as he was opposite a beautiful girl who was smiling and taking an interest in him!

His gaze jumped from Kyle to Lori. She was different from every other girl he had ever dated. Hell! Lori was different from every other girl he had ever known! And it wasn't just about the sex any more; he really wanted to be with her and to get to know her a whole lot better and for that reason if nothing else he didn't want any other guy within 100 yards of her let alone some fucked up head case with his shy smile and careless hair, his mesmerizing eyes with their soulful depths and that whole innocent, vulnerable little boy look which Declan knew from personal experience would send the girls into a frenzied rush to be at the front of the queue just for the opportunity to be a shoulder for him to cry on. Chicks simply couldn't resist the sensitive, defenceless look and Kyle, despite his apparent problems with normal social interaction seemed to have mastered the concept of flirting perfectly. Declan frowned. There was definitely more to this boy than met the eye and he was determined to find out just what his secret was.

'Why didn't you tell me Kyle sleeps in a bathtub?' He hissed to Lori as they moved from the kitchen to the lounge after breakfast.

Lori shrugged.

'Gee, I don't know! I guess talking about my foster-brother's weird sleeping habits when we were making out wasn't really the thing foremost on my mind!' She told him sarcastically.

'Is Kyle retarded?' He asked bluntly.

She snorted and then gave him a funny look over her shoulder.

'You're kidding me right?'

One look at Declan's face told her that he really wasn't.

She stared at him in disbelief.

'How could you even think that? Kyle's a genius!'

Now it was his turn to stare at her incredulously.

'Oh, come off it Trager! The guy can hardly speak! And when he does finally say something his voice is all slow and weird and he talks absolute nonsense. You heard him at breakfast, I mean, what was all that about?'

'He learned to talk in a day Declan! And he can do hour long math tests in like about 5 minutes and he must have a photographic memory or something because he remembers everything that you've ever said.'

'Yeah, I'm sure, he's a regular Einstein!'

Declan looked over at Lori waiting for her to smile and acknowledge that she had been playing with him all this time, but she appeared to be deadly serious. He frowned. What was going on? No one learned to talk in a day and no one forgot how to talk either especially when they were 16 years old. At first Declan was amazed that Lori who was normally so cynical actually seemed to believe all that stuff about Kyle but then he became annoyed. Kyle had got a good thing going on here living with the Tragers and Declan wanted to make sure that Lori understood that Kyle wasn't all he seemed.

'Shit, Trager! How clever can he be? He sleeps in a bathtub for God's sake!'

'My mom says it makes him feel safe.' Lori said as though that explained everything.

Declan got a sudden flashback to the look of abject fear that had crossed Kyle's face last night before he had realized just who it was that had knocked on the window in the pouring rain. What had happened in his past to make him look so frightened? Was it something that had been done to him or something that he had done to someone else?

'Safe from what?'

Lori shrugged.

'We don't know and Kyle…well that's probably not even his real name, can't remember anything.'

'Convenient!'

Lori gave him a disapproving look.

'What? You're the one who told me he was a head case!'

Declan sighed in exasperation.

'He's really strange and it's not just what he says, he walks funny too; slow and kinda stiff. Not to mention the way he was staring at you over the breakfast table just now. I'm telling you, there's something seriously wrong with that kid!'

'There's something wrong with Kyle because he was staring at me? What's wrong with me that a guy wouldn't want to stare?' She asked him, her voice taking on an edge at his insult. Yet Declan wasn't quite sure who she was more upset for, herself or Kyle.

'Trager, you're starting to sound like a girl and you know that's not what I meant.'

She folded her arms, set her mouth and waited for him to explain.

He sighed.

'It's just that I don't get to see you very often and Kyle lives in your house so he sees you every day and…'

'And you're jealous!' Lori said smiling at him.

'No!' He denied quickly.

He took a deep breath in and ran his hand through his hair. This wasn't going the way he wanted it to at all.

'Well, maybe a little.' He admitted finally before looking over at her. She really was very pretty.

'But I'm not jealous of Kyle, just of the fact that he sleeps in your house and gets to see you in your…'

'Finish that sentence and I guarantee that you won't be seeing anymore of anything!' She warned, raising her eyebrows at him.

He gave her a sheepish smile.

'Declan! It's true that Kyle's… not normal, I mean he does sleep in a tub and it's like he's seeing everything for the first time, he doesn't understand even the simplest stuff that we all take for granted and he can be really annoying sometimes when he follows me around and gets in the way when I want to go out but underneath all that weird stuff he's a good guy and his heart is pure. Well, everything about him is pure! He hasn't got a clue about girls and sex! Ok, that is like so totally not the point!'

She took a deep breath in.

'Look, what I'm trying to say here is that Kyle is my foster-brother and contrary to popular belief…'

She gave him a pointed stare.

'I don't wander round the house in my underwear or take my clothes off in front of him and there's no way that anything would ever happen between us. Besides, he's got a huge crush on my next door neighbour.'

'Amanda Bloom? What like as in going out with Charlie Tanner?' He asked surprised.

Lori nodded.

'Wow!'

'And one more thing?'

She reached up, took his shoulders in her hands then leaned forward and whispered in his ear…

'I am a girl!'

'It's kinda hard not to notice that fact, Trager.' Declan said grinning at her.

But then he stopped noticing anything because suddenly Lori was kissing him.

And then later on that day it had been because of Lori that he had turned himself over to the police, because her opinion of him somehow mattered back then as opposed to now he thought glumly when there was no point in him trying to do anything to please her because she didn't give a shit about him. Not that he could blame her of course, after all, he was the one who had dumped her. He shifted subtly in his seat and looked at Lori once more. She was still just as beautiful and desirable and as cynical and outspoken as ever…

He suddenly realized he'd been staring and the last thing he wanted was for her to know about it, he thought feeling rather flustered, so he switched his gaze quickly to Amanda Bloom sitting just a few desks away. But while his eyes were on Amanda, his mind was still thinking about Lori because it was Lori who had unwittingly introduced him to Amanda and made him realize that once again he had totally misjudged someone based on a fleeting first impression…