Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.
25
*Dimitri*
"Its terrifying isn't it?" Mikhail said suddenly. Dimitri looked up from where he'd been gathering napkins and shoving them in the to-go bag, confused. Mikhail had managed to drag him away from Rose for a few minutes, even if it was to go get her éclairs from her favorite breakfast place. His mind had been consumed with a whirlwind of thoughts and he didn't understand what his friend was asking. Mikhail expanded on his question. "The idea of becoming a father."
"Oh," Dimitri said, surprised that Mikhail had managed to guess his thoughts. Not that it would have been too hard, he realized. This was all he'd been thinking about since Rose had come home safely the two days before. He moved away from the counter and out of the shop before responding. "A bit."
"Don't get me wrong," the other guardian said, easily keeping pace with Dimitri's long strides. "When Sonya told me she was pregnant I was about as happy as I've ever been. But after the initial happiness settles a bit, worry creeps in."
Dimitri veered off of their current path, electing instead to sit on a small abandoned bench to the right of the path. The foot traffic was steady and he watched passers by as he settled on the bench and formed a reply.
"Does it ever go away?" he asked at last. "The worry?" He was over the moon happy about the baby, of course. But his conversation with Rose the day before had brought back a tumult of emotions, chief among them was worry and doubt.
Mikhail shook his head. "Its hard for us. Dhampir women grow up knowing that they'll most likely have children. But us? We grow up knowing that we almost certainly won't. To go from that knowledge to suddenly having it not only be a possibility but a reality…well it's a shock. And then you have to worry. Not only do you have to deal with the fear of being a good father but also you wonder what you set your kid up for. To know what kind of a world I've brought Mandy into," he shrugged helplessly. "Sometimes it makes me wonder if it's the right thing to do. She'll have to deal with the stigma of her parents pasts, an unfair society where she's considered second class and of course there are the Strigoi she'll one day face."
Dimitri felt his own worries reflected in Mikhail's. They weren't dissimilar, the two of them and their situations. Both men who never thought they'd be fathers, wondering not only how the world will view their child for having a dhampir father instead of the traditional dhampir mother, but about who their parents were in particular: an ex-Strigoi, a guardian with a rough past.
"But I wouldn't trade her for the world," Mikhail continued, features softening as he thought of his daughter. "The day she was born—holding her for the first time—it was perhaps the singular best day of my life, equal maybe to the day you brought Sonya back to me. I wake up every day and see her and I can't regret anything. All those worries seem pointless, just 'what if's' that may never come true. Mandy is real and that's what counts."
Mikhail was right. It terrified Dimitri to think that he'd have a daughter who one day might face off against Strigoi bigger than her. To worry that his son would be on the front lines in the fight against evil. But…that was who they were. Dhampir's were built for those odds. He might have a daughter who was small but she would be Rose's daughter, trained and skilled and in every way her mothers equal. He might have a son who grew up to be strong like him, with a strong moral compass that almost demanded he protect others at all costs.
Ultimately it would be their choice. It was Dimitri's job as their father to provide them with everything they needed to know to make that choice on their own.
"It's daunting," he agreed at last. "Its one thing to deal with issues on your own. It's another to picture your child doing it when all you want to do is protect them. But every time I look at Rose—every time I think about the child—I am so happy. Seeing the sonogram the other day," he shook his head a small, awed smile playing on his lips as he recalled the sound of the heartbeat and the soft movements of tiny limbs. "I never imagined witnessing something so amazing."
His companion nodded in agreement.
"Children turn even the best guardians into softies," he observed.
"I don't think of it as 'soft'," Dimitri argued. "There is no job more noble than to dedicate your life to the survival of another. That's the entire premise of being a guardian. Being a parent is not so different."
*Dimitri*
Dimitri and Mikhail parted ways outside of guardian housing, Mikhail to work and Dimitri to Rose. He was on the landing half way between the first and second floor when a figure came darting down the stairs at a breakneck pace and nearly bowled him over. He caught her arm before they both went tumbling.
"Oh! Sorry I—Guardian Belikov!" the woman exclaimed. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to run into you like that. I wasn't looking." She blushed at the admission. Dimitri recognized her but couldn't pinpoint where he'd seen her before. The woman continued to speak. "But I was so glad to hear of Guardian Hathaway's safe return! Please tell her I wish her a speedy recovery."
"Thank you," he said, releasing her arm when he was at last satisfied that she wouldn't go tumbling down the last flight of stairs. "I will let her know."
The woman nodded, satisfied and started to move down the stairs. He caught sight of the back of her head and the tumble of auburn curls and he suddenly recognized her.
"Molly!" he called out. Strange that he'd only recognize her once her back was turned but he often only saw her when her head was bent over her work at the reception desk. This was the guardian that Lord Ivashkov had accosted the day of the briefing. "Hang on a minute," he asked, turning to follow her down the stairs.
She paused at the bottom, confusion evident on her face. "Yes?" she asked. She was a pretty woman somewhere between Rose and his age. Her sweet smile and green eyes made it understandable for Guardian Lang to have started an elicit office romance.
"Before the queen went to Pittsburgh there was a briefing in the guardian building," Dimitri began in a low voice.
Her eyes dimmed a bit and she sighed. "I know. I heard you had interviewed a lot of people who were there at the time. I promise you I didn't go near the conference room. I would never betray the queen!"
"I don't doubt you," he assured her; shifting their stance so they were nearer the wall as more guardians traversed the stairs. "But I heard that you had a particularly interesting conversation with Lord Nathan Ivashkov that day."
Her face soured. "I wouldn't call it interesting. Nasty more like. That guy is slimy." Her eyes widened as she realized what she'd said to him. His friendship with Adrian was well known around Court as well as a startling realization that Dimitri's Moroi father was Adrian's uncle on his dad's side. "I didn't mean to offend you—" she rushed out.
Dimitri waved the comment off, momentarily forgetting that he had the to-go bag in his hand. He should be getting back to Rose but he pressed on.
"I agree with you," he said. "But I wanted to know what business Lord Ivashkov had in the building that day."
She looked relieved to have not insulted him but her shoulders quickly tensed as she got back on topic. "It was strange," she admitted. "He was demanding I give him a list of all coming dhampir graduates."
"And why would he need that?"
"Well he said he needed another guardian," she admitted.
"He already has two."
"And I pointed that out to him. I said he could fill out a request for a change in guardians but he couldn't ask for an additional. Then he got all pretentious and started ranting about how his aunt was the last queen and he didn't deserve to be questioned about what his station deserved. That if wanted another guardian he was entitled to it."
"He wanted a third guardian?" Dimitri asked, confused. Several guardians could come together to guard a large group of Moroi but never had one individual Moroi—save the queen—had more than two guardians and even that was rare with dwindling numbers. "Why would he need that?"
She shrugged. "I'm not sure. He didn't give an explanation but from the sounds of it he was worried that his travels would bring him in close proximity with some Strigoi."
The wheels were turning in Dimitri's head. Could Lord Ivashkov have betrayed them? If he thought he needed more protection then maybe that was because he was afraid Marlen would turn on him. It was no secret that he resented Lissa's reign and that had only increased when she'd approved Adrian's dalliances with Sydney. Could he have hated Lissa so much that he'd be willing to send her into the arms of Strigoi?
He thanked Molly for the information and slowly made his way back up the stairs, fitting these new pieces of information into the overall puzzle he was trying to solve.
"He definitely has motive," I said as I bit into the pastry Dimitri had bought for me. He'd come back with more than the éclair though, and while the news about Adrian's father was a bit shocking at first, it wasn't outrageous. "And if he was in the building he could have overheard something, you never know."
"Whoever is working with Marlen knew about Adrian's spirit dreams," Lissa added from her seat on the couch. She'd arrived after Dimitri had left with Mikhail and was now lounging on the sofa while Dimitri sat at the table. "If Lord Ivashkov saw Adrian come in then he would know immediately what he was planning to do. And he's one of the loudest voices of discontent. It fits." I could tell that neither fact did anything to lessen the betrayal she was feeling.
"Where does that leave us?" I asked.
"Well it doesn't exactly prove he's done anything," Dimitri cautioned. "He was in the right place at the right time and he has motive but we still don't know if its him. We have to connect him to Marlen."
"But we don't know where Marlen has been," Lissa said.
"But we do know where Lord Ivashkov has been. We'll start there. Sort through his travel records, see if there's any red flags. And we'll keep a close eye on him."
"Do you think Sydney would mind digging up dirt to incriminate her father-in-law?" I asked them. Sydney had been our go-to tech geek as of late and I wouldn't trust anyone else with this information.
Dimitri laughed. "I think she and Adrian would be happy to help."
"We'll have to ask them soon, then."
"But not too soon," Lissa said, glancing at her phone as it chimed. She jumped to her feet, excitement radiating off of her. "For now we have somewhere to be."
I looked down at myself. I was wearing the last pair of jeans that fit me and my loosest top. "I'm not going across the grounds dressed like this, let alone to one of your political meetings," I warned.
"You don't have to. We're going down the hallway."
"Uh, why?" I asked, turning to Dimitri for help but he looked just as confused as I did. I'd thought Lissa had shown up to keep me company this morning. I hadn't realized she had an agenda.
Lissa went to the door and held it open expectantly. "Because we're going to see your new apartment."
My best friend was crazy. I loved her, but it was true. As I stared around the empty apartment she'd led us to I couldn't help but feel conflicted. The apartment was twice as large as the one we were in now and definitely an upgrade. It had three bedrooms—the reason Lissa had apparently procured it for us.
"You'll need a nursery," she'd said over my initial protests.
While I knew she was right and we would need the extra space I couldn't help but feel a bit sad at the thought of leaving our tiny apartment, the first real place I'd ever felt at home. It was mine and Dimitri's first place together. Hell, it was where we'd made our baby. It felt weird leaving it.
But Lissa insisted and she was very convincing. I stood inside the new apartment now, some time after Lissa's departure, and tried to see what our future would look like in this place. I could see a larger dining table set up with room for more than just the two of us. There would be a high chair pulled up between our two chairs where we would feed our son or daughter and dodge bits of carrots and whatever else my child decided to throw. There would be a bassinet by the window and I'd put our baby in it at any opportunity I could, hoping that they would get to enjoy some daylight in our otherwise dark world. I could see it all, walkers and toys sprawling everywhere, bottles drying beside the sink. I would build a home here for our family. This is where we'd bring our baby home and start again.