If you had asked me 2 weeks ago if the woman sitting before me was depressed at some point and time in her life, I'd laugh in your face. I would literally take you into a mental facility and have you checked out. To me, Riley was always a breath of fresh air. She was always happy, always light and bubbly. Even whenever she was mad at something, Josh or even something Missy did it would last a total of 5 minutes maybe less before a smile approached her lips again.

That gorgeous smile gives me a reason to wake up in the morning, I've noticed that about her since I first saw her. I will do anything and everything to keep that smile plastered on her face at all times, it gives me a sense of purpose, and more than that it gives me hope. So with one word her whole façade came crashing down faster than it took her to utter that one syllable.

I see it in her eyes. All the hurt, the pain and the sadness that she's kept locked away for Lord only knows how long. It's almost incredible how I haven't noticed it before. I stare into those beautiful eyes every chance I get. So this brought me to 3 separate conclusions.

First, I could just be plain ignorant. But, since I have successfully treaded these waters before, I would know what to look for. So that's ruled out.

Second, maybe I don't truly know Riley. But, again that is a false statement. I know her quirks, I know what she loves, likes and despises. I know her family, I know what she's afraid of and how to protect her from it.

Lastly, she's so well put on this mask, this front and wall that even she bought it. And that's why she doesn't really know how to talk about it. It isn't just that she doesn't know how, it's that she doesn't want to remember that period of her life. And I can only hope it was a small one.

I'm sure by now you've gathered which conclusion I've ended up with.

"Don't look at me that way." She whispers and fiddles with her fingers, a nervous quirk.

"What way?"

"Like you feel sorry for me. I d-don't need it or want it." Stuttering, I give her 2 minutes before she starts to cry.

"I'm not looking at you that way. I don't feel sorry for you."

The brunette furrows her brows as she glances back at her boyfriend. "So then y-you see me d-differently. The whole happy go lucky Riley façade is r-ruined for you?"

Lucas lifted her off the rock and made her straddle his lap. "Look at me princess." With reluctance she ends up looking into his eyes. "You are still my Riley, my princess. You still have a smile that can brighten up my world and eyes that can take me to my knees with one glance." The quarterback slowly wiped a tear away and acknowledged he was right about her stuttering bringing on tears. "Did your opinion of me change whenever you found out I sent my father to jail?"

"No." The brown eyed girl whispered without any hesitance and he didn't realize he was even worried about that, but he'd be lying if he didn't say he was relieved for whatever reason.

"Then please believe me whenever I say my opinion of you. My truth about you isn't ruined, in fact it only goes to show how incredibly strong you are."

Riley shakes her head and lets her chin touch her chest. "You don't even know what happened."

"That's true. I don't and I'm hoping you'll tell me, but I do know that you aren't depressed anymore. Right?" She simply nods and wipes away a few more tears. "It takes an incredibly strong person to overcome something as serious as depression. It truly is something that is under researched, and a lot of people see it as nothing more than a pity party. But, I know the truth princess. I know how hard it is and how strong you have to be to work through something like that. And you did it."

Though her methods might not have been great, she still did it. But, who am I to judge. I personally haven't been through it, I only helped my mother work past it. "I don't like remembering that part of my life."

The emerald eyed man tugged her into his chest and let her rest her head against his shoulder. He understands he has to tread carefully, so he only says one word. "Fits."

"What?" Riley instantly leaned backwards and glanced at him. "H-how do you know that word?" The brunette overlooked the fact it was a common English word, it wasn't necessarily the word but what it represented. Lucas didn't say anything he just continued to stare at her and brushed some hair behind her ear. "Fits?"

"Yeah, fits." He reiterated casually.

"Anxiety." She whispered and started to breathe heavily. "Attacks. They hurt."

What could have caused this? "Okay so you get anxiety attacks right?" Her chocolate orbs darkened, which was almost hard to see in the dark but they did. Lucas came to the conclusion fairly quickly he was going to have to coax it out of her little by little, she wasn't going to openly say it for fear of her 'fits' and he didn't mind. It gave him a sense of control in the situation.

"Yes."

"Alright. Can you tell me what to look for right before you have them? So I can help."

"H-help?"

Her expression was nothing more than puzzled. "Yes help. To comfort you, and to push away the fears."

"You'd do that?"

As if that was a ridiculous question he scoffs. "Princess, I'd do anything for you. I'd do anything to keep that breathtaking smile on those perfect lips. So what do I look for?"

"I ha-haven't had one in a long time."

The quarterback kissed her fingertips. "That's great princess." His smile was genuine and it eased her nerves. "But let's just say for precautionary purposes. Yeah? So I can help control the situation, so I can help you control your emotions."

She doesn't say that you lose all feeling of control during an attack, because the fact someone else could intervene and bring her back to reality intrigued her. Her parents, along with Josh and Maya would simply tell her to breathe but never touched her, they treated her like a sleepwalker, you don't touch them or you'll get hurt. "Heavy breathing." He kissed her cheek, "I crouch to the floor." He kissed her nose and that exposed a smile. "My mom says I frantically look around me." He pecked her other cheek. She was unknowingly being coaxed back to her reality that she created for herself. Lucas had a power over her, pulling her emotions out and tucking them back in when he saw it was too much for her to handle. And she for once, was glad she didn't have control. "I hold my chest."

After kissing her fingertips he stares at her. "Is that where it hurts?"

He was trying to pull her emotions back out. Slowly, so it wasn't overwhelming but just enough where he could get some answers. "Yeah." Riley gestured to the center of her chest. "Right here." His eyes darkened instantly, Lucas slowly leaned in and pressed his lips where she said it hurt.

"What does it feel like?" He questioned trying to rein in his thoughts. This wasn't the time, the place, yes. He wouldn't mind at all losing his virginity here but the timing was all wrong.

"Um, I-I just know it hurts. Like you lose all sense of reality, for me my walls cave in. I think that's why I've become claustrophobic. It's scary and painful all at the same time."

Riley nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck and they sat there in a comfortable silence.

10 minutes had passed, the only sound being from the wind and the running creek next to them. The 10 minutes for the brunette was spent coming back to life. Or so she liked to call it, she only wished those memories weren't real. "Aren't you going to ask me why I get them? Why I was depressed?"

"Not tonight princess. You've been through enough for one night, but I would like to know so don't think otherwise."

"Okay."

Her head continued to rest on his shoulder as his left hand caressed her cheek. "I'll be here for you Riley. Always."

"Please."

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I was hoping I could wake up this morning and know what I meant when I said 'please' to Lucas. But, I still don't know. Please what? Please be there? Please don't tell anyone? Please help me? Oh, now I get it. It was all of the above and more. I was practically begging him to not leave, boy did that make me seem desperate.

After that I walked in the creek and Lucas would stare at me. He wasn't just staring but studying me, as if he didn't already have me figured out. Only he could drudge up my past, calm my nerves and fears that come along with it, put them away and slowly pull them back out again. I think he intentionally pulled them back out to force me put them away again. So I could feel like I had some control, whatever little amount it was.

Sounds silly, but I genuinely believe it. Lucas is incredibly smart and I have no doubt he could be a psychologist if he truly wanted. He had a way of making things easier, but that could just be because of our romantic relations. But, most importantly he knew when to stop. He knew when I'd had enough and he didn't pressure me for more information.

Lucas is oddly perfect for me.

Lucas had called her a few times this morning but she couldn't quite bring herself to answer the phone. To say she was embarrassed from last night's events would be an understatement. She knew he didn't mind, but she did. She didn't want him of all people to see her as she saw herself sometimes-mostly when Missy does her worst-Broken.

Lucas3
Don't be embarrassed about last night princess. I loved you opening up to me.

"How did he know?"

Lucas3
Just trust me and call me back I want to see your beautiful face.

"This is spooky."

Her thumb hovered over his contact and she sat there for a moment before pressing the green button.

Hey Princess.

"Good morning."

Afternoon beautiful, you've been ignoring my phone calls for 2 hours.

"I was sleeping."

Nice try, but you don't ever sleep late, you're an early bird. Why are you embarrassed?

"Please don't see me differently."

I don't at all princess. You're still my girlfriend.

She didn't say anything because a wave of happiness and relief washed over her.

You are still my girlfriend right?

"OF COURSE. I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was a question the first time. Yes I am your girlfriend."

Good, now what do you want to do today?

"Um, let's just go to the park or hang out. You spent plenty of money yesterday."

I need to order you some more gummy bears. But, you loved that theatre and you were incredibly satisfied with all three bags I bought. So I'd do it all over again.

"You're too perfect."

I know.

"Aren't we feeling arrogant this morning?" She replied while cozying into her blanket.

Maybe. Hey, why don't you come to my house? My mom will be back in an hour and she really, really wants to meet you.

"Um… That's a big step."

I've met your parents.

"Because they were Josh's parents first not your girlfriend's. It's unfair!"

Come on princess. Please, for me.

"Okay. Um, what do I wear?"

Wear whatever you want. You look good in anything. I'll be at your house in a little over an hour. Will that give you enough time?

No. "Yeah. That should be fine."

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Riley fumbles with her ankle boots, stupid zipper keeps shaking! "Alright. You wear those almost every day why don't you tell me what's going on?"

"I don't know what you mean?"

"Yes you do." Dang she's good. "I know you aren't this nervous about meeting his mom. You get along with just about everyone and parents love you."

The brunette lifted her gaze off the boots and stared into her best friend's icy blue eyes. "He knows about my depression and anxiety attacks."

Silence.

"Is that bad? That I told him?" More like he coerced it out of me.

"Not at all." Maya hopped off the bed and kneeled down beside her peaches. "That's great that you feel like you can tell him. That's a huge step, bigger than meeting his mother." They both giggled when the brown eyed girl rested her head on the blue eyed girls shoulder. "Did you tell him why?"

"No, he said that me telling him that was enough for one night."

Maya scoffed and pushed her best friend off her shoulder with a laugh. "Who would've thought that Riley Matthews would tame the man who fought all the damn time, and never wanted a relationship?"

"Not me."

She tousled her long locks and sighed, "This is a good thing right? Even though I'm getting lots of negative attention."

Riley felt almost like she needed some reassurance that she was doing this for a good reason. "Well, let me ask you this. Do you truly like him?"

"Of course." As if that question even needed to be asked. "It's like he was always supposed to be there."

Maya cupped her cheek, "Peaches. You've been through a lot the past couple years. Yes, there is some negative attention, but you aren't taking it lightly anymore. I think Lucas has a lot to do with you standing up for yourself and I can't really thank him enough for that. But it's up to you to decide if he's worth it."

Riley gave a reassuring head nod. "He's worth it."

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