Notes 1
Jezmaiya: So when are you going to write about Chase and Darling?
Me, drowning in Helsa, my other fav red and blue duo: Who?
Notes 2: Reply to guest – Thanks for reviewing. Yeah, I didn't update because nobody said anything so I thought nobody cared, lmao. About 5 more chapters to go.
;;
the sleepless elite
;;
chapter twenty-five
;;
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you,
Yes, I've been broken-hearted, blue since the day we parted,
Why, why did I ever let you go?
– ABBA, Mamma Mia
;;
"What are you waiting for?" A question fills the air and Darling pauses for a moment, blinking out of her thoughts. The Charming girl wishes she could say this was some magical moment that knocked some sense into her, but it wasn't. It was just a question asked.
And when Darling gets her bearings right, she's greeted by her longtime friend Raven Queen who smiles pleasantly at the blonde.
Oh. Darling thinks, looking at Raven's hands – each occupied with a cup of coffee, one for Raven herself and one for Dexter, Darling presumes. Damn, Darling's had gotten so used to Chase doing certain things for her that she never considered that she'd have to live without him having her back.
"Nothing," Darling lies, crossing her legs under the table and pushing back a lock of blonde hair. "I'm just saving the table."
"But there are plenty of other tables to sit at." Raven says, purples eyes sweeping over the break room of the Charming Co. building before she sits down beside Darling.
Briefly blushing, Darling looks away. Wow, she's embarrassed and she'd rather not address this fact so … small talk it is! Fiddling with her bare hands, Darling utters a cliché, "So lovely weather we're having?"
"The weatherman would disagree." Raven answers, still smiling. Ah, the perks of working at a company that provides global news, sports, weather and documentaries – you get to cover every topic because you know everything.
"Agree to disagree."
Raven's grin widens, there's this knowing look in her eyes like she's catching Darling in an act. Really, Raven shouldn't be giving Darling that look. They've done wilder things in their youth and nobody in the sleepless elite ever said anything.
However, Raven being Raven – at times sneaky and sly – doesn't say a word. She knows Darling can't take the silence. And after counting down from ten backwards, all while Raven takes a long sip of her drink, the dark haired woman finally got to break Darling's curiosity.
"Why are you staring at me like that?" Darling asks, making a face.
Raven almost laughs but doesn't. "Something's on your mind, isn't it?" Raven asks back, leaning forward.
Darling blanches and her blue eyes widen, "What?"
"Oh, come on, Darling! I've known you for years, you can't keep secrets from me so out with it already!"
Darling's face scrunches up even further. "R – Rae!"
"What? Too aggressive? Okay, I get it, we're in a work environment, I'll ask nicely; do you want to talk about it?"
"T – There's nothing to talk about."
"Uh-huh."
"I mean it,"
"Sure."
"It's just ..." Darling sucks in a breath then exhales. She's not doing to admit anything because there's nothing to admit, but, God, why does everyone think she's got secrets? It was just –
"You can tell me." Raven continues.
It's –
Last night, something nice happened, okay? It was just one nice thing. Maybe fate had aligned or whatever, but she had finally gotten a chance to talk to Chase. She knows it's a regular for them to leave voice messages for each other but it felt ... so incredibly nice to have a proper conversation with him. It was like he never left her side. They talked for a full hour and had to bid each other several good-byes. Not that Chase wanted to but Darling had insisted (despite her own heart saying 'no') because Chase had to sleep, it was four AM over there and he needed seven hours or more, it was just a whole thing.
But that's none of Raven's business. And Darling doesn't want to tell anyone about it. She wants to keep it to herself; like a secret – wait, oh, she guesses she does have a lot of kept secrets. She might have to work on that. Anyways.
Shaking her head, Darling brushes off the issue and says, "There's nothing to tell. I was daydreaming, that's all."
"Must be some nice daydream because you had this dopey grin on." Raven says, playing with her cup of coffee. "I haven't seen you smile like that in a while, I was convinced you were going to break your face! Honestly, do you want to spill the beans?"
"It's nothing." Darling replies, which probably isn't ever the best answer to give, then gets up from the table.
Without even a second thought, Raven reaches out and grabs onto Darling's pale wrist. With concern written on Raven's face, she tells Darling, "Don't run away."
And while swallowing the urge to sigh, Darling tramples on that irksome feeling anytime someone accuses her of running away. Yeah, she should really work on a few things about herself. "I'm not, I'm going to get my own drink now."
But Raven does not move and it forces Darling to stare at Raven's hold on her before looking at Raven in the eyes. Darling couldn't help but notice how Raven made working at the company feel so effortless. And Darling's not just talking about Raven dressing for the job. Because Raven does look stunning; dressed in a professional looking black dress and a nice, deep purple coat thrown over her figure. Everything just rolls off Raven's shoulders so well, she never seems stressed by the technicality of things and Raven blends so well with the place – unlike Darling herself. And she kinda owns Charming Co.
"Honest. It's nothing." Darling promises and Raven finally lets go of her friend.
;;
"You're fine." Darling utters to herself, so soft that it sounds like a whisper. She curls her fingers into her palms and leans against the balcony railing, wishing she could sprout wings and get out of here.
Okay, maybe she's not fine. What she's doing now; looking out longingly at the sky and sighing a lot, wishing even, that's not 'fine'. That's sad. She can't believe she's feeling like this. Has she sunk low? Darling can't believe she's sounding so desperate for something.
Someone.
"Stop it." Darling growls to herself. "You don't need to cling onto anyone."
And then she tries to convince herself that she's independent and she likes being independent.
'But there's nothing wrong with wanting to depend on someone.' A small voice whispers in her head and Darling's convince she wants to punch air. Or maybe she's crazy?
"You can't do that. You can't, Darling." Darling says to herself like some derange pep talk. "You promised you'd work and make up for the sacrifices your brothers made to you. A whole year, and you're almost there but … can you really leave? Sure, it sucks ass but you promised things would be better and those promises should be kept."
Plus – PLUS – she's supposed to be by Dexter's side. She loves Dexter, he's literally her other half! And it's not to say she wants to leave her twin to fend for himself (though, Dexter is more than capable to run the company. He sells himself short sometimes), it's just, the whole idea of running away is bonkers and Darling wants to leave her past the past.
She just wished somebody told her how hard it would be because the time spent apart away from Chase made her miss him.
A lot.
Too much.
It feels like an empty spot in her chest and Darling found out she had too much time to herself. Time she didn't need. Time she didn't know what to do with it. Even riding around on the White Knight wasn't as enjoyable. She just never felt fully satisfied, she was starting to think if working for the family company was a horrible mistake.
"Hey," A voice greets, making Darling jump before she swirls around, ready to take down whoever startled her. The voice continues, "Whoa – hey – easy."
"Oh my God, you big nerd, don't do that!" Darling places her bare hands over her beating chest.
"Me? You almost karate chopped me!"
"Because you scared me!" Darling says defensively and Dexter must have caught on. Twin senses.
Staring hard at his sister, blue against blue, Dexter cocks his head and gives Darling a look. Dexter's twenty-three and perhaps finally out of his shell so approaching awkward topics aren't as awkward as they used to be.
Bumping his shoulder against her, Dexter smiles widely and Darling watches those endless blue eyes fill with sincere concern. "What's wrong, dear sister?" Dexter asks in a teasing manner to lighten the mood.
"It's nothing, I was just ... remembering some stuff." Darling answers, reaching out to smoothen out any fly-aways from her bun.
"Reminiscing on the good old days?" Dexter asks.
And Darling cannot answer back. Not when he had said it like that, like he knew. Not with those trusting eyes and with his hands behind his back. Dexter looks confident standing like that. Really, both he and Daring have really grown as people. Darling wished she could say the same about herself. She doesn't think she's changed that much.
Dexter continues, "You hate it here, don't you?"
"What –?" Darling pretends to be shocked by this statement. "No. Pfft, why would you say something like that –"
"Bup-bup-bup, you better not lie to me because my twin senses have gotten stronger since you got back and settled at Book End." Dexter says, holding up a pointed finger.
"Dex –"
"Don't make me get Dare involved."
"Dexterous, you wouldn't –"
"I would." Dexter challenges and a breeze sweeps through his cowlick hair. "And I know you. So … just tell me. You miss being out there, right?"
"I – I don't –" Slipping the mask off, Darling lets out a sigh and drops her shoulders. "Okay … so I … I Yeah. Yeah, I miss being out there. I miss some things. A lot of things, actually." If she wants to narrow it down even further, it'd be one specific thing.
"Like?"
"I miss … the adventures." Darling answers but instantly wants to take it back because she knows she can't lie to Dexter and she knows that's not the right term she's using. She just … can't admit it out loud. Doesn't know how to. So she asks, "Do you ever get this … this feeling? Like, it's weird and annoying and I just want it to go away because it's always bothering me. It makes my chest feel empty and sometimes I think I'm losing my mind." She throws her hands up in the air. "I just … I feel like I'm missing something, you know? And I can't – I don't – I don't know how to address it."
"I think I get that feeling," Dexter says slowly like he's considering the weight of his words. "You've been working here for a long time, Darling. I know you don't like it and, if I were in your shoes, honestly, I think I'd have those same feelings too."
Darling nods, grateful that Dexter was coaxing her to speak whatever's on her mind.
"You know, sis," Reaching out to touch Darling's shoulder, Dexter says, "I wouldn't blame …" He pauses, his blue irises searching. "I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to quit and go back."
Those words felt like a slap to the face. Especially coming from Dexter. Her brother. Her own twin.
"What – No!" Darling exclaims, smacking Dexter's hand away from her shoulder. "Why would you – No. No! I'm staying. With you."
She understands some aspect of her feelings. She can't help but feel that she misses Chase (which doesn't make all that much sense to her because she never missed her family as much when she was away but did when her brothers were away, it's complicated). But, she could never abandon Dexter! Darling cares about her family too much! She will admit that she was selfish and bratty in the past, letting Daring and Dexter take the fall and suffer their mother's wrath, but she's not going to do that again!
"Darling, listen –"
"No, you listen." Darling continues, feeling heated, "You can't fire me. You can't – I, I have rights and I have … rights – I have, I don't know, my name written somewhere as an heiress or something and – Oh God, I'm your sister and you can't fire me because that's bullshit!"
"I'm not firing you." Dexter tells Darling, running his hands through his hair. This is starting to feel like a stressful conversation.
"Then what is this?"
"I – You just – You don't look happy, Darling." Dexter argues back and resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose.
Darling lets a humourless laugh roll off her tongue. "And you think that's a good reason to fire me? I – What gave it away?"
"Rae told me."
A smile spreads across Darling's lips but it isn't a happy one, it's an angry one. A bitterness that isn't aimed at her twin or Raven. Her life is a joke, it's all backwards and, back and forth, and all over the place.
"And here I thought it was the twin senses." She jokes then turns dramatically and glares at the people below.
"I don't need that to know that you're upset with where you are now." Dexter tells her and stands side by side, elbows on the balcony railing while Darling's hands are clutching onto the metal thing like she wants to break it. "Tell me the real reason you want to go." He says as another breeze sweeps across the two siblings.
Stubbornly, she says, "There's nothing to tell."
"The year's almost up, Darling, you can leave if you want. You don't have to continue working at Charming Co."
"But I'll feel so horrible." Darling confesses. Heck, she feels horrible now. And she can feel the tears coming. "You're doing your best and so is Father, Dare is too but Mother still hates him for it."
"No. No, Mother doesn't have him. You don't have to worry about our lives. Don't worry about other people."
Darling turns away from the view, shaking her head slowly. "But you're worried about me. I'd be so selfish if I didn't think about you and Dare." She wrings her hands together, they were shaking.
"Yes, but – Look at Dare. Look at where he is now. He's not part of the family company but he's fine. He's happy."
"Dare probably would have been happier sooner if it weren't for me."
"No, he wouldn't." Dexter says, a firmness in his voice. "Dare's over the moon with Rosabella, he loves her family orchid and he's best friends with Briar – which I did not see coming. Would never have imagined it! It's a little crazy, I admit, what Dare has now is far from a life here with paperwork and cameras. It's very different, but I bet you Dare wouldn't change anything for the world!"
But Darling refuses to take the bait. She's feeling her throat clog and tears brimming from her eyes. "You don't know that."
"I do." Damn it! "Whenever I meet with Dare for lunch or something, it feels like I'm in a dream or some prank show. It's wild. Dare's telling me he's willingly getting on his knees to plant flowers and fruit. I … I just, it's strange, you know? With dirt under his fingernails, the sun beating against his back, choosing to be all sweaty …" Dexter says, losing his train of thought. It's just so odd to him that he still needs a good think about it. "Yeah, I can't do that, it's still weird to me. But, besides the point," Dexter utters, getting back to the main topic. "Dare's doing manual labour over a job that was handed to him before birth. He chooses a life with a lot of hard work and he's happy."
"What's your point?" Darling asks, getting cold feet because Dexter is really convincing her.
Pausing, Dexter exhales then says softly, "I really think it's all thanks to you."
"What?"
"Yeah, this all happened because of you. If you haven't insisted on spending senior year at Ever After High, I would never have had the courage to ask out Rae. The rest of the sleepless elite would have died of boredom without your spontaneous nature. And, to be honest, I think Dare probably would have married Apple White –"
A choking noise squeaks out of Darling's throat.
"– I know. I know. You don't want to talk about it. It's messy. But, that thing back in high school, it was a good thing. It probably prevented Dare from slaving away at Charming Co." He says probably but it was a definite thing. "Well, Apple was an alright person, but, it would have been inevitable for both Dare and Apple to be miserable if they did marry. They would have fallen out of love. Well, Dare would maybe still like Apple because he's not-so-secretly a romantic but Apple likes women and that's … I don't … Dare's not … Where was I going with this? I'm really off tangent here, disregard that." Dexter's just trying to pour everything into this speech. "You understand what I mean – stop blaming yourself, Darling, please."
But all Darling does is throw her hands up in the air like she's defeated. She did not expect this conversation to reach down, down, down into her past.
"It happened. Things happened all the time." Dexter says which is starting to sound cliché and awful. "But you miss the old life you had and I can't let you be miserable while everyone else is happy."
"Oh, Dex …" Darling's voice cracks, tears in her eyes. "What about you?"
"I'm okay. I'm not doing the whole Charming Co. thing alone." Dexter answers, hand back on his sister's shoulder, giving it a supportive squeeze.
This time, Darling doesn't slap it away. She grabs it and squeezes back.
"Look," Dexter says to Darling. "I know you hate it here. And I honestly think this job doesn't suit you – but not in an insulting way." He says when he catches her face shift. "I'm not saying you shouldn't come back to take the job, you should when you're too old to be riding bikes around, I'm just saying a job shouldn't be something you force yourself into but grow into instead. You can come back when you're older because, well," Dexter lets out a laugh. "Because we're family and we love you."
"Dexter –"
"No more interruptions. And stop crying, you're going to make me cry. I need to tell you everything before I become a mess myself." Dexter says and a tear trickles down his cheek. "Just know, I truly, think you're meant to be out there. Not stuck in here."
Darling's mascara is completely ruined at this point and Darling feels her heartache as Dexter continues speaking.
"So you should go, Darling, and only come back when you're ready. Mother will be furious but she'll get over it. She's mad at Dare, anyone with eyes can see that, but anyone can also tell that she misses Dare terribly too and Father would never kick us out of the family will. I'm fine working with Mother and Father, Rae too, so I really think you should be happy. Go get your old life back."
She hiccups. "Thank you." Darling whispers.
It was nice that her brothers had come to her rescue the same way knights do. Darling guesses being a princess is not all that bad (Chase was right, she needed to stop thinking of herself as a damsel-in-distress, asking and receiving help is fine).
"Oh, thank you, Dex." She hugs her brother tight and tries not to stain his shirt too much with mascara tears.
"No problem." Dexter says back into Darling's hair and he pats her back comfortingly. "Now will you please tell me what you want so I can help you? What do you miss? What's that feeling you're talking about and why won't you chase after it?"
Darling almost chokes a second time but doesn't.
"Yeah. Yeah. Okay." Darling wipes away any more tears and licks her lips. Why does it sound like she's been speaking for ages when it had been Dexter doing all the talking? "I …" God, here comes the confession. "I'll tell you. I'll tell you everything."
;;
Notes 3: Merry (soon to be) Christmas! See you in twenty-bi-teen everyone :)
– 20 December 2018