Not So Innocent
Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush.
The italicizes are Logan's thoughts in this chapter, but I'm sure you would have caught on.
Jkl: I love James and Logan, all I have to say :). Thanks
Scarlett: Aw thank you, and here's more.
TakingAllYouDownWithMe: Yes, Fangirlin' the sequel is what we can call it. And your Kenlos is on its way.
Jazckson: Oh yes, it'd be very steamy in that room haha. The only people in real life that have alter egos (That I know of) are Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, and my friend's mom :). Thanks
Aqua786: Oh Doctor Time…that is some nice action right there haha. Oh god I laugh at my jokes, I'M SUCH A DORK! Oh yeah, trust me, I might have had him get like hit by a car if he would have really cheated on Logan. Yeah, you are good at guessing, but sadly in this chapter you were wrong. I got this song from a girl named Melanie Amaro (She's on 'The X Factor' and she sang it. She's my favorite and I hope she wins but it comes on tomorrow, I think, on Fox at like 7. So you know if you want to check her out or just like youtube her after that'd be cool. But if you don't want to that's cool too.) Oh and Dak's not going down without a little-NASTY-somethin' somethin'. Okay and onto the 90's nick shows, teen nick freaking had an AMANDA SHOW MARATHON ON SUNDAY, I MADE MY LIFE COMPLETE! Thanks
Karinebtr: Oh trust me, I prefer Logan too. Oh and your Kendall and Carlos talking will come up. Thanks
Lewkis: OHH James and Logan 3. Anyways, the smut in this chapter isn't all that beautiful though…once you read you'll get it. Thanks
Nerdy-Mochi22: Oh Carlos is so silly, Love him. OH and James, he's such a good boyfriend to Logan! Oh I love them! Oh yeah, and his mom is a total bitch! OH DANG IT! I SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN LIKE A MENTION OF YOU LAST CHAPTER, UGH! Anyways, are you serious, this is the first "injection" you've read. I mean I haven't read it before, but I imagine that a LOT of doctor scenes would be like that. Oh well, anyways. Thanks
So guys, I'm sorry if this feels rushed, but it's because I had to cram all of this into two hours of writing so…Anyways, this is aimed to be one of the sadder chapters, fair warning. I don't expect many of you to enjoy it, but please review anyways.
Carlos pulled Kendall aside and into their room after hearing the news about Logan's mom. His breathing was faster than it should be and Kendall could feel his hand tense up.
"I'm sorry I haven't told you yet Kendall. I really am." Carlos had a pleading look on his face without even telling Kendall why he was worried.
"Carlos what's going on?" Kendall asked, raising his eyebrows. He grew worried wondering if he had done something. Maybe it was offering to cook him spaghetti after what happened the other day.
"I haven't told her!" Carlos plunged himself into Kendall's arms. "I've tried to tell her I really have. But whenever I get the nerve too, I'm always reminded of what will happen. I constantly worry if she'll accept me!" Carlos's grip clenched onto Kendall like none other.
"Wait, who haven't you told?" Kendall asked, his eyes growing even wider than before. He felt Carlos's eyes get wet on his shirt after a moment.
"My mom…" Carlos said depressed. "I haven't told her I'm gay. I never have, and I probably never will…if I get the choice." Carlos confessed. "I'm so sorry Kendall." Carlos buried his head into Kendall's chest. "I love you, I really do, but my mom might not love that very much."
"Carlos-Carlos-CARLOS!" Kendall cut off his rambling. The Latino jumped at the shouting, but it did get his attention. "It's okay that you haven't told your mom yet. I don't love you any less because of it. I really just want you to be happy. You make me happy when you're happy. And plus, it just makes me think you're ten times stronger than I already thought that you were." Carlos grinned at Kendall, who then kissed him very softly. "We'll get through this, don't worry." Carlos rested his head on Kendall's shoulder now, giving a sigh of relief.
"I love you." Carlos stated, sighing even bigger now.
"I love you too." Kendall said, griping him with one hand and rubbing his back with the other.
Well that brings us to here, where it's late at night, and James and Logan are close to going to bed. James didn't know what was up with Logan. He had been mute the entire day and seemed to not care about his phone or anything. But truth be told, Logan wasn't okay. He had been thinking about his dad more and more each day. He wanted nothing more than to be closer to him, just to maybe feel like he touched his dad again. Logan was now out on the balcony, looking over the Palm Woods, staring up at the stars, hoping his dad could hear him.
"I know you're probably not listening to this." Logan gulped and took a breath. "But if you are, I just want you to know…it's days like these that make me wish you were there to watch me grow up." Logan felt his eyes get wet, he had just barely started and already he was crying. "I know that if you were, Daddy, you'd be proud of me. Proud of the person I've become." Logan looked up at one star that seemed to be shining brighter than the other stars. To most people it's called the North Star, but to Logan…it was his dad. "It's days like these that make me realize I'll never be your little boy anymore…just the son you left behind." Logan felt the tears slowly fall and trickle onto the railing. He missed his dad more than anything. He didn't know why now…Why was he crying now, and not eight years ago? "You were the best thing that's ever happened to me, and now you gone…I miss you." Logan swallowed his last words as he looked down to his feet. James's watchful eyes had caught a tear rolling down his cheek, and he instantly knew that Logan needed to be comforted right now. He opened the sliding glass door and strolled up behind Logan.
"Hey." James gave him a very soft and heartwarming hug. "I love you." James put more meaning into these words than usual. He turned Logan around, and his heart broke at Logan's sad face. James had to try something…anything to make him feel better. He leaned in close to kiss Logan, but was shoved away.
"No James," Logan stated. "I'm not in the mood right now." Logan suddenly left, almost as if he was sick of James or something. The smaller boy strolled into their bathroom and curled up into a ball, and started to cry. James gave a sigh, knowing that if he went after Logan that he would only end up being annoyed by James. So he waited, but Logan was like that the whole night…
XxBigTimeRushxX
All four of the boys had gone to the recording studio the next afternoon. Today was the day they finished recording "Music Sounds Better with U" and James and Logan's duet. The four boys had just barely finished recording "Music Sounds Better with U". So James and Logan were left alone in the recording room while Gustavo talked to Carlos and Kendall about their pitch.
"Logan you were really upset last night." James brought up and looked over to his love.
"So," Logan stated very bitterly. "What makes you bring that up?" Logan had gotten barely any sleep last night and was cranky as Hell. Even when James tried to cuddle with Logan, the smaller boy would just shrug him off. Also, by the look on his face, you could tell he had cried through the whole night.
"Well, you're my boyfriend…my fiancé…do you want to talk about it?" James asked, trying to make Logan like him today. "I think it'll make you feel tons better." James stepped up to Logan, who still looked very pissed off. "What about a hug?" James asked and held his arms out for Logan.
"I'm not in the mood, James." Logan's eyes turned into daggers and stabbed into James.
"What's the matter with you?" James questioned. "Lately you've been denying me. Last night you didn't want to kiss, or hug, or cuddle. And look at you today, you're the exact same. What's wrong, did I do something?" James stepped closer to Logan.
"Nothing!" Logan shouted. "You didn't do anything! Now can we just move on?" Logan looked through the glass and tried to catch Gustavo's attention. "Let's get this over with; I want to get home as soon as possible. And just letting you know, I'm sleeping at Kendall and Carlos's tonight." Logan gave him another bitter face and looked back at Gustavo. James's hands flew up and he stared into space, not knowing what he had done.
"Are you on some kind of period I've never heard before, because you never act like this?" James stated. "What's wrong with me, I've been nice. Do you want to break-up or something?" James stared at Logan, who just stayed silent.
"Okay so what song are we singing?" Gustavo asked into the mic and looked at James.
"We're singing 'I Have Nothing' by Whitney Houston." James's voice was flat and was obviously irritated.
"Nice song-,"
"Let's get this over with." James cut off Gustavo's, maybe only, compliment he gave him. The piano started to play in their headphones
Logan: Share my life, take me for what I am'
Cause I'll never change all my colors for you
James: Take my love, I'll never ask for too much
Just all that you are and everything that you do
I don't really need to look very much further
Logan: I don't want to have to go where you don't follow
I won't hold it back again, this passion inside
I can't run from myself, there's nowhere to hide
James: Don't make me close one more door
I don't wanna hurt anymore
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me
I have nothing, nothing, nothing
If I don't have you, you, you, you, you
Logan: You see through, right to the heart of me
You break down my walls with the strength of your love
James: I never knew love like I've known it with you
Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to
Logan: I don't really need to look very much further
I don't want to have to go where you don't follow
I won't hold it back again, this passion inside
I can't run from myself, there's nowhere to hide
Your love I'll remember forever
James: Oh, don't make me close one more door
I don't wanna hurt anymore
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me
I have nothing, nothing, nothing
Don't make me close one more door
Logan: I don't wanna hurt anymore
And immediately form that line, Logan had started to think of his dad. It hurt him how much he missed him, and suddenly the lyrics came to life…but were all too real.
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me, no
Don't walk away from me
Don't you dare walk away from me
I have nothing, nothing, nothing
If I don't have you, you
If I don't have you, oh you
After the recording ended, the smaller boy ran away and out into the hallways.
"Aw come on!" James cried to the ceiling and chased after Logan. Kendall almost followed him, but was stopped by Carlos. James dashed down the other hallways soon after and found Logan, who was sitting against a wall, crying again. "Aw Logie." James sat down next to Logan and wrapped an arm around him, but this time his arm was thrown off with quite a bit of force. "Logan! Stop rejecting me!" James shouted. "If you want the pain to go away faster than you need to let me in, Logan. I love you, and you're making it really difficult lately."
"No!" Logan lifted his face out of his hands. "You've grown too close to me, and I need to get away before you hurt me!" Logan jumped away from James. "So you know what?" Logan grabbed his ring and slid it off. "Take this back, I can't have it! Not anymore! My dad would be disappointed!" Logan threw the ring at James and sprinted away. Now it all clicked for James, Logan was crying because of his dad. Suddenly, reality sank into James, he had realized Logan left him…and probably for good this time…Carlos and Kendall rushed around the corner and found James crying, holding the ring as close to him as possible…
XxBigTimeRushxX
Logan had made it all of the way back to the Palm Woods before he finally couldn't take it any longer. He fell down to his knees on the second floor and started to cry.
"James…why did I leave?" Logan soon found himself questioning his own actions. Sure he couldn't let anyone close anymore after what had happened with his dad, but it hurt more not having James to catch him. Soon, he felt a hand on his shoulder. His heart jumped, he knew that touch, or so he thought. He turned around and was disappointed to see it was Dak.
"Loges what's wrong?" Dak ran a hand through Logan's hair very slowly.
"Nothing you can help me with, but thanks anyways, Dak." Logan wiped tears away from his eyes. But Dak's hand stayed and gripped onto Logan's shoulder, rather tightly actually.
"Come on inside my apartment, we can talk there." Dak said. "I have a trick to feel better, especially for your problems." Dak helped Logan up and guided him up another floor and into his apartment.
"Set your things down anywhere." Dak stated as he tossed the key onto the counter.
"I probably can't stay for long. I need to fix something." Logan stated as he tossed his jacket onto the couch.
"Don't worry, it shouldn't take long." Dak flashed Logan a smile that was almost as good as James's. He motioned for Logan to follow him, and so the short boy did. "Come in, sit down." Dak sat on his bedspread as he took off his shoes. Logan took a seat next to him.
"So you said you have a trick?" Logan asked, about ready to take anything that could help.
"Yeah, but take off your shoes," Logan gave him a questioning look. "Look, if your cooperate it's really fun and it helps me tons." Dak gave Logan that same smile. Logan thought it was weird, but took his shoes off anyways.
"Okay, now what?" Logan asked. Out of the blue, Dak jumped at Logan and gave him a kiss. Logan quickly shoved him off. "Dak, I love…James. Yeah, I love James!" Logan shouted at him. But Dak didn't care; he easily pinned Logan down and started to forcibly kiss him. His arms were much larger and one of them held Logan's arms away so that he couldn't shove Dak off.
"This is what bitch!" Dak started to get very into the kissing. Already a hand was playing at Logan's zipper. Soon, Logan's pants fell down around his ankles. "Let's play Logan!" Dak grinned wickedly and started to kiss his neck like a wild animal.
"Dak get off of me!" Logan shouted, trying to wiggle away, but Dak was too powerful. His grip tightened and pain shot through Logan. His arm was actually being squeezed so hard it hurt. That, plus Dak bit down hard on Logan's neck.
"Shut up!" Dak yelled and punched Logan's face with his free hand. This wasn't sex, it was rape! "Good boy." Dak smiled and kissed Logan's neck again, but this time pulled his shirt off. "You can see what could have been." Dak grinned. "And what now is."
"Hell no, I love James dickhead!" Logan yelled, and this time tried to use his legs to get Dak off, but to no avail. But it did earn him another fist to the face.
"I said be quiet while I fuck your ass!" Dak started to kiss on Logan's free skin. He quickly discarded his own shirt and undid his belt. His body was nothing compared to James's, but it was still built.
"No, get off of me!" Logan yelled, but this time got back-handed across the face.
"Shut. Up." Dak finished undoing his pants with his one free arm and pulled his pants and underwear down far enough to reveal his manhood. "You know what comes now, Logan, right?" Logan gulped, knowing that this wouldn't be fun. Soon, he got bite again in the neck, and suddenly flew over on his stomach. His underwear was suddenly gone, and something else was intruding.
"Dak get off! James'll-,"
"Shut up!" Dak shoved Logan's face into the sheets. "Last time I recall you and James were over. And talking about him just turns me off!" Dak thrust his hips rather hard, and Logan, not being prepared properly, went into a world of pain. Dak's dick was dry, so he had to shove it in, and Logan's hole wasn't wet either, so it was a forced entry.
"AHH!" Logan shouted from pain into the sheets.
"Shut up and let me do me Mitchell!" Dak didn't even make a slow start. He shot off going to speed of a bullet, which only harmed Logan even more.
"AHH!" Logan's blood curdling scream filled the apartment.
"FUCK LOGIE!" Dak yelled, feeling extreme pleasure. "You're so tight! I love that!" Dak started to kiss on Logan's neck again and slapped his side with force, which only made him scream louder.
"DAK YOU'RE HURTING ME!" Logan shouted.
"Fuck Logan!" Dak rolled his eyes and tossed his head back in pleasure. "Oh LOGAN! OH LOGAN! OH MUTHER FUCKER LOGAN!" Dak was nearing his climax, and Logan was losing his voice. "FUCK!" Dak finally finished and fell on top of Logan. He quickly got off of Logan, grabbed him, and threw him off of the bed and into the wall.
"Ah!" Logan shouted again. His whole side was in pain from the wall, his face hurt like nothing he had ever felt before, but worst of all Logan's hole was bleeding! Dak walked over to Logan and offered him a hand. "Get the Hell away from me!" Logan screamed and kicked at Dak. The taller boy giggled and kicked Logan square in the chest, knocking the air out of him. He bent down next to Logan's ear and whispered.
"Look, no one needs to know about this, Logan. I don't want to have to hurt you." Dak's voice faded away as he walked into a different room. Logan finally gathered what was left of his breath and grabbed his clothes. He threw them on, and barely stumbled to the door, getting out of there as soon as possible.