Christmas.
A holiday she had always spent with friends and family. With homemade ugly sweaters and home cooked meals. A warm fire, some eggnog, family. There was happiness there.
She was now going to spend it with him.
Whether he wanted her too or not.
She had spent all of yesterday trying to corner him after their meeting on the seventh floor. He was avoiding her, every time she would begin to get close he would move or direct his attention elsewhere. She was getting really tired of chasing after him.
It had been sheer luck that she had seen him enter the library and knew where he would go. The back corner where he always went, in isolation from the rest of the world. The book she carried weighed heavily in her arms, this was her choice, right or wrong this was the decision she had come to.
She was going to put things into motion.
Quickly she approached the table, throwing the book down in front of him. The loud bang echoed through the otherwise empty room as she stared down her nose at him. The silence between them hung thick in the air as she breathed in and out.
"I almost told them." She finally said breaking the calm. His eyes snapped up and met her own, the vein in his neck began to stand out, she knew he was grinding his teeth. She could see the tension in his jaw as he looked at her, through her. "I wanted to tell them everything, from the beginning of the year and on. About you and your dreams, about Katie and, oh I don't know whatever you call it, the task you have. I thought it would make the guilt go away, but I don't think it ever will." She shook her head, forcing the tears to stay away.
"Why didn't you." He finally answered her, leaving her heart to beat in her chest as she processed the question.
"I don't know. Maybe one day I will. Maybe one day I won't hate myself for this, but right now, I don't have that answer." She pointed at the book in between them. He took the novel in his hands and opened the cover.
"Hogwarts: A History?" He looked at her puzzled.
"It's a present of sorts, I won't directly help you. Do not get this wrong Draco Malfoy. I will not kill anyone, nor will I make your life easy, this is me not going away." He opened the book and laughed at the passage she had marked. Her heart fell at that, he wasn't supposed to laugh at her. Scream at her maybe, but laughter cut her life a knife. The passage she had marked was a small one, but it was there, about the room he was so clearly looking for.
"I know where the room is. I helped knock down a wall remember." He smirked at the thought and her cheeks flushed at the memory. The smirk fell from his face as he looked from the book to her. "Why." How many ways was he going to ask her the same question. She could feel the frustration at the inadequate answer she had building within her.
"You're always there, like a damn bug I can't shake. You won't get out of my head. I thought I could, I thought walking away would make everything easier. So, I ran, hid away. Yet the moment I finally saw you all thoughts of telling anyone anything vanished. I think you have me intrigued, I think you are in trouble and need someone to help, but you are also to scared to say it. I think you would call that my God complex" she rambled on as he stood up and approached her, until he was level with her, she felt the book shelf hit her back as the steps she wasn't aware she was taking left her with no room.
He reached one hand up to tuck a stray curl behind her ear. She felt the breath catch in her throat as he looked into her eyes. That steal grey, that haunted her.
"I don't understand" she could tell he meant it. The wounded look took over him, as if he had already lost everything, as if there was nothing in this world that would allow him to feel something, anything good. Before she could think, talk herself out of it, she reached up and cupped the side of his face bringing it to her level.
"You need something, something I think I can help you find. But you have to let me." She whispered to him as his forehead rested on her, their noses lightly brushed against each other. She could smell the apples coming off his breath, a smell that had only a week ago left her trapped now lured her in until his lips just barely brushed against her own. It was as if the match inside her had lit the fire that had been dying within him. She could feel his hands pulling her to him, balling the back of her shirt up in order to pull her closer. The hidden muscles in his arms came alive beneath her fingers, as his lips melded perfectly with hers. When she opened her mouth slightly, the smallest of moans left her lips and she could feel him pull away. Resting his head back against her own as they fought to catch their breaths.
Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest as his hands released her shirt and ran up her back, the nerve endings leaving fire in the trail of his hands. She was lost to him.
"You need to stay away from me," he whispered running his lips along her jaw, as his hands continued their ascent up, until he placed both of his hands on her face and looked her in the eye. She could feel the air in her lungs freeze and her heart stop.
"I will get you killed," he whispered even quieter.