He closed the door quietly behind him, sighing as he took off his jacket and made his way towards the stairs. He had no right to feel this happy, no right to do this to him again. But he couldn't help it, his entire body had ached for him when they had been apart and now he finally had him back in his arms. Felt the warmness of his touch again, the sweetness of his kiss. He was his more than just his lover. He was his safe haven, his best friend and his soul mate. He was the missing link in Syed's life.

His guilt always seemed to vanish as soon as he touched him and he had no idea if Christian knew of the invisible power he had over him. Everything in his life seemed less catastrophic when he was with him. He was the only reason that his life seemed bearable. He wondered if he knew how just one touch from him, one kiss, one smile even, and he could make everything alright again. Syed had no idea how he did it but Christian always made everything better. His life had seemed in tatters so many times, he'd been on the brink of self destruction. But he always pulled him back and helped him through. He owed him so much.

He made his way up the stairs, images of the past few hours running in his mind, reminding him of the blissfulness that was back in his life.

Zainab: Syed?

Syed jumped as he heard her voice travel from the sitting room and spun around.

Syed: Mum! What are you doing up?

Zainab: Waiting for you. I think it's time we talked about this don't you?

Syed: We have talked about it mum. You don't want to listen to what I've got to say.

He turned to walk up the stairs. He hadn't slept, hadn't eaten and he really wasn't in the mood to hear his mother shout at him anymore.

Zainab: Please Syed.

Syed: Not now mum.

Zainab: Yes, now.

Zainab took a deep breath as she composed herself, her voice calm when she spoke.

Zainab: Please Syed. Talk to me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He walked in and closed the door behind him prepared for almost anything. The shouting, the disappointment, the disgust. Everything he knew she was desperate to say to him. But the one thing he wasn't prepared for, the one thing he never thought she'd do was the one thing that happened. She walked towards him and wrapped her arms around him, holding him so tightly that Syed thought he could feel some sort of acceptance in her embrace, some sort of OK-ness.

His tears fell from his as he held her back, realising that this was the first time she had touched him since his wedding. The first time she had shown any form of love towards him and he'd missed it.

Zainab. Shh shh shh.

She stroked his hair as his cries turned to sobs, turning his head into her shoulder to silence them slightly. His entire body shook as his heartache poured from him.

Zainab: Why are you doing this to yourself Syed?

Syed: I can't help it mum.

He pulled away from her and saw her eyes fill with tears.

Zainab. You are my son and I will always love you. You maybe a grown man but you'll always be my baby. But I need you to make this with Amira work.

Syed: But...

Zainab: Listen to me Syed. Please. You have no idea what will happen if you carry on like this.

Syed: And you have no idea what it'll be like if I stop. I love him mum. Can't you understand that?

Zainab: No. I'm sorry but I can't.

Syed: I can't stay away from him mum. There's like this invisible force pulling me towards him and no matter how hard I try I'm still drawn to him. I wish you could see what I'm like when I'm with him.

I'm the real me when he's around.

Zainab closed her eyes as his words rung true. All those shifts in the unit, the times she had seen them together, he had always been smiling. Always.

Zainab: Tell me then.

Syed: Tell you what?

Zainab: How you feel. Tell me how he makes you feel inside. Tell me about the real Syed

Syed: You really want to know.

Zainab. Of course I do. You're 24 years old and you've just told me I don't know you!

Syed: I don't even know where to begin mum.

Without leaving him go she sat down on the sofa and hugged him, his head resting against her chest as she pulled him closer into her.

Zainab: When did it start?

Syed: It never started. It was always there. I can't remember the first time I realised. All I know is that I've always been like this. I've always known, it was just a case of admitting it to myself.

Zainab: And Christian, he isn't the first?

Syed shook his head.

Syed: No, he isn't the first. But he's the only one that's ever meant anything. He's the only one I've ever had feelings for.

Zainab: But you've said yourself Syed that Amira is attractive.

Syed: Of course she is. She's beautiful mum anyone can see that. But just because I think she's attractive doesn't mean I'm attracted to her.

Zainab: And Christian? When did you know you were attracted to him.

Syed: The first time I saw him. He walked in the unit and he just blew me away. It was just physical but yeah, I was attracted to him straight away. As we got closer, became friends, we just clicked. We bounced off each other and we got on so well mum. I fought it for months and I was winning! I was pushing him to the back of my mind thinking he didn't feel the same, didn't find me attractive. But every now and then he'd say something or do something and I'd think that maybe he did.

Zainab: Of course he did! You're handsome.

Syed: And you're biased mum!

Zainab: It's true. Even as a baby yours was the most beautiful face I had ever seen. I knew then that you'd break so many hearts. I remember saying to your father that no one could have a face as perfect as yours and not leave a trail of broken hearts behind them. And I was right wasn't I?

Syed: I don't know about that mum.

Zainab chuckled as she held him closer in her arms.

Zainab: Really?! Oh, Syed. I've seen so many girls fall for you, so many hearts break because of that face of yours.

Syed: I'm getting a taste of my own medicine now though aren't I?

There was a comfortable silence between them as they sat there, both afraid of the words the other dared not say. But they needed to be said.

Zainab: Tell me what happened after Bushra's party.

Syed: What?

Zainab: That's when it all started isn't it?

Syed: How do you know that?

Zainab: Christian told me. You know, I was sitting here earlier thinking about where you were and everything he said to me was running through my mind, and I realised that all I know about you is what he's told me. I've never heard anything from you except that you... How you feel about him.

Syed: Mum... I can't... I mean...

Zainab: I'm calm Syed, and I'm ready to listen to you. I can't promise that I'll understand, but I'm ready to try.

Syed: We argued after what you told him at the party. He wanted my opinion and I couldn't tell him, I was too afraid to show him who I was. So I covered myself and said some pretty nasty things to him and I felt awful for it. You should have seen his face mum, hearing those things from me. He looked so... disappointed, as if I'd betrayed him somehow. So I went looking for him. I couldn't cope with it, him thinking that's how I felt, that it was what I thought of him. I had to put it right but more than anything I had to see him. I found him in the unit and tried to pass over the things I'd said, tried to... I don't really know what I was trying to do mum because he was there and that's all that was going through my head. He was there with me, shouting at me, angry with me but I didn't care. He was there. I should have walked out, let him calm down a bit, but I couldn't. I couldn't leave him. My body just wouldn't let me walk away. He kept on and on at me. Asking me what I thought, what my opinion of him was and I felt myself falling. When he touched my arm and looked into my eyes, I couldn't think, I couldn't speak to answer him. So I showed him. I kissed him mum. He kissed me back then pulled away from me.

Zainab: He pulled away?

Syed smiled at the shock in her voice.

Syed: Yeah. He just stood there and looked at me, completely in shock. Before he had a chance to say anything I grabbed him and kissed him again. I just melted in his arms mum. It felt so right.

Zainab: Didn't he pull away again?

He shook his head.

Syed: No. He wanted it as much as me. I could tell.

Zainab: Then what.

Syed: I'd rather not give you the details mum.

Zainab: At the unit?!

Syed: No! No we went back to his flat.

Zainab: But that's just sex Syed.

Syed: In the beginning it was. But it's more than that now mum. So much more. All I've ever wanted to be is the real me mum and he's the only one who's let me be him. He helped me to realise that I can be who I really am and someone will accept me and love me back. That's all I've ever wanted. I've put him through so much and he's always been there for me, he's never let me down. I was too afraid to admit to myself who I was before I met him. But not anymore. I know now who I am and that's all down to him. He takes my breath away. Whenever he'd smile at me I'd feel everything else just wash away. He makes me feel alive. Whenever I'm with him I just forget the world, forget any one and anything else existed. I can't exist without him mum, I'm a part of him and he's a part of me.

Zainab sighed heavily and Syed could hear her heart hammering against her chest.

Zainab: Then make your decision.

Syed: What?

Zainab: You have to choose Syed. You can't carry on like this. You have to choose between them be. But before you do think of what will happen if you leave her. She will be cast out, her life almost over.

Syed: Her life is already over if I stay with her mum. Stuck in a marriage where her husband doesn't love her, the thought of her lying naked next to me, it turns me mum. I can't do that to her. Isn't it better if she gets out now?

Zainab: And what about Christian?

Syed: What about him?

Zainab: Think of what will happen to him when this gets out? Do you honestly think that the two of you will be able to lead a normal life? Everyone will blame him Syed and after they've finished with you they'll come after him.

Syed: Come after me? Mum, what are you talking about?

Zainab: I know what your life will be like if you choose him.

Syed: I don't understand.

Zainab: Please Syed, just trust me.

Syed: No, what did you mean mum?

Zainab: Please Syed

Syed: Tell me!

Zainab: I was punished for loving your father!

Syed stared at her in disbelief.

Syed: Mum what are you talking about? I don't...

Zainab: I was already married when I met him Syed and I was punished for loving him.