Lucilla found her brother just following lunch after she had spoken with Gracchus. The sun was high in the sky and Lucilla had found the afternoon heat to be too much for her. Her brother was perched in a chair in the dining hall, leant forwards with his hands clasped together. Lucilla's pace slowed down as she approached him. She saw something in his gaze. She saw something that looked troubling to her.
Livia had clearly found him. She knew the truth now and, judging by his face, he knew that she knew the truth. It took a few moments before Lucilla dared to speak, making her presence known to her brother as he remained lost in his own thoughts.
"Brother, what are you doing here?" Lucilla enquired, hands clasped in front of her as she arched her brows and her forehead wrinkled. "Where is Livia?"
Commodus did not respond. Instead he looked up to his sister and moved to his feet. Looking to her, he kept his gaze even and square. He knew that his sister had betrayed him. He knew full well that she was the one who had betrayed him to Livia. She had to have been. Judging from the pained expression on her face, he knew it to be true too.
"Livia is resting," Commodus spoke, wondering how he should approach this with his sister. "She finds herself to be exhausted. I believe that the pregnancy is taking its toll on her. Plus she went out last night. She ventured to see Maximus."
"Did she?" Lucilla asked, playing ignorance as she continued to watch her brother. "I had thought that she would be under your guard's watch."
"Apparently she dismissed them," Commodus responded. "His lies have filled her head with nonsense, yet she believes them. Tell me, sister, did she go to Maximus alone or did she have company? I know how he was your lover. I know you have feelings for him."
"Do not be absurd," Lucilla said, knowing that she had to escape her brother's gaze soon. By tonight Maximus would be free and Commodus would be angry. He would suspect her even more. But she had to escape him until then. "Commodus, my feelings for Maximus are held in the past. Regardless, I would not think of taking your wife anywhere like that…at night…I know she is pregnant and needs to be kept safe."
"I see," Commodus said.
But he knew that she was lying to him. He could sense it. He could sense her lies.
"Livia is simply not thinking rationally, Commodus," Lucilla said. "She is pregnant. She is confused. Give her time to realise that."
"If I lose my wife to Maximus's lies then I shall do everything in my power to make those who took her from me suffer," Commodus said, his eyes wide and his face full of anger and threat. It was a moment before Lucilla nodded her head, knowing full well what he was saying. He didn't believe her. He didn't trust her in the slightest. Yet she had to get away from him. She needed to stop him before he did something to her or Lucius.
"As it should be," Lucilla said and Commodus wondered if his threat had been enough of a warning. "But do not punish Livia, brother."
"I am not," Commodus said with a shake of his head. "I am giving her time for her to see sense and understand what it is that shall happen."
"And what shall happen?" Lucilla dared to wonder from her brother.
"She will love me as a wife is supposed to love her husband," Commodus responded. "She will do that again when she comes to her senses and sees that I am her truth. She will understand."
…
Commodus was beyond angry. He was fuming. He had discovered his sister's plot from his nephew. She had been foolish in speaking of Maximus as though he was the saviour of Rome in front of a child. Commodus knew then that there could be no trusting her. He had demanded for her to tell him everything that she had done and she had done that. He had held Lucius by his side as he threatened her without the child knowing. She had told him how Maximus was to escape that night. Commodus had sent his guard to stop him, demanding for him to be brought to the Coliseum. Commodus would kill him once and for all. He would end all of this.
Once he had finished with his sister, he had stormed back to his chambers to find his wife. The door had flung open as the night fell and he knew his guards would be on route to stop Maximus. He found Livia sat on the edge of the bed, hands holding her stomach. She didn't bother to turn around to face him, but Commodus was quick. He moved with haste, grabbing hold of her elbows as he hauled her to her feet and his guards closed the door, leaving him in peace with his wife.
"Did you know?" he roared at her as she tried to push him from her once more. "Did you know what they were planning?"
"Get off of me," Livia demanded, still squirming in his grip as she longed to push him from her. He was strong though, a hand moving to grip her chin, his fingers forceful as he moved his face closer to hers, looking her in the eye.
"Did you know?!" he screamed this time and Livia recoiled from him, feeling a sense of fear as she felt tears roll down her face.
He moved from her then, pushing her face from his hands and to the side with force before stepping back from her. She closed her eyes and felt the tears continue to slide down her face, wondering how the two of them had come to this. How could this have happened to both of them? It was another moment before Commodus raked a hand through his hair.
"I trusted you," Commodus said, his voice full of hurt.
"Just as I trusted you," Livia responded.
"But you would let them come and overthrow me?" Commodus checked with her. "You would see Maximus return to Rome with his army and kill me."
"No," Livia said with haste. "I asked for you to be spared, Commodus. I did not want you to be killed…exiled…jailed…anything but dead."
"You kept it from me," Commodus said and Livia felt her chest begin to ache. "You kept this from me. You stood there and never told me, yet you knew. You knew and you said nothing."
"Do you not wonder why?" she asked from him. "Commodus, perhaps this is the right thing to do? Your father wanted Rome to be a Republic. You…do you think that you should truly be Emperor, Commodus? You murdered your father…you butchered an innocent woman and child…"
"So you do not have faith in me either?"
"I had undying faith in you until the other day!" Livia snapped, refusing to let Commodus see himself as a victim to all of this. "I thought that you were simply young and inexperienced. I thought that I could help you…I thought that you would learn and one day be a great Emperor, but then I discovered the truth. I discovered the truth and all of that faith I had in you died. It died along with our marriage."
"You cannot mean that," Commodus said with haste.
"But I do," Livia said and Commodus felt his own eyes grow with tears. "What hope is there for us, Commodus? How can you expect us to be how we were when I know what you have done? My husband is a liar and a murderer. I have had time to sit here, just as you wished, but that time has not allowed me to forgive you, Commodus. It has made me grow to detest you even more for what you have done…for what you have ruined…"
"No," Commodus said with a shake of his head.
"What hope is there, Commodus?" she wondered from him. "I know everything now. I know and I can't go back to how it was. I can never go back."
"What are you trying to say, Livia?" Commodus demanded from her.
Livia shrugged her shoulders, uncertain of what she was trying to say. She didn't know. She didn't know what she was going to do. All that she could think of was what might happen that night when Maximus was due to escape.
"I do not know," Livia admitted to him. "I do not know what I am trying to say, but…do not expect me to forgive you for any of this."
"Livia-"
"-Stop it," Livia interrupted him. "I don't want to listen, Commodus. Nothing that you say is going to change my mind. I…I cannot."
"Please," Commodus said with haste, moving to her and taking hold of her by the waist, grabbing hold of her as he moved his hands up and down her sides. He saw her look down to the ground, unable to look him in the eye. He moved then, bending down until his forehead brushed hers, urging her to look at him. "Livia, please, do not say that. Please…I need you…I have always needed you…you and only you."
Livia shook her head against his. "We can't," Livia said with a firm voice. "We can't pretend or go back to how we were. That can never happen. Why did you do this?"
"For us."
"No," Livia said, moving her hands to his cheeks and holding them tightly as she felt herself begin to cry, her hands trailing down his cheeks and to his neck as Commodus kept hold of her waist. "You didn't do this for us…you ruined us by doing this…you ruined us…how could you? How could you do this? How could you do this to us? I…I love you…I love you so much and you…we could have been happy. We were so happy and we're having a baby, Commodus. Why did you do this?"
"Livia, my love, please," Commodus whispered before he saw her hold her hands up in the air and step backwards, the warmth of her body leaving his as she continued to walk back from him.
"We can't go back from this," Livia said in a small voice. "Just…do the right thing, Commodus. Do the right thing and walk away from Rome. Walk away and let Maximus go."
"No," Commodus responded with a firm shake of his head. "I will never do that, Livia. Maximus will be forgotten of by tomorrow evening. I shall see to it."
She inhaled a sharp breath then. "What have you done?" she wondered from him. "Commodus, what have you done?"
"Everything in my power to stop Maximus," Commodus said firmly.
"No," Livia said. "Commodus, do not-"
"-Do you not see?" Commodus demanded from her. "If I do not kill him then he shall kill me. There is no way that both of us will live. This is how it has to be. He has tested me for the final time, Livia."
"What are you going to do?" Livia demanded from her husband, her hands clenching into fists by her sides as Commodus stepped forwards, lifting a hand to her cheek and cupping it gently, hearing her softly exhale at the feeling of his touch. He said nothing for a few moments before he nodded his head.
"I am going to stop Maximus," he whispered to her. "I am going to do what I should have done all those weeks ago. I will fight him in the arena, Livia. I will fight him and I will win. Then the people will see me for who I truly am."
"No," Livia said with haste, shaking her head back and forth as she moved to grab his hands, holding them tightly as she stepped towards him, her eyes searching his as Commodus remained besotted with her. "Commodus, if you fight Maximus…he…if he kills you…"
Commodus shook his head, moving a hand to wipe away the stray tears down her cheeks. "You weep for me?" he asked from her. "You weep for my death?"
"You cannot do this," Livia said to him. "Commodus, you cannot go against Maximus. He would win…we both know that…we know he is a skilled fighter. He would kill you. Please, think this through. Be rational for once in your life. Do the right thing and just leave Rome. Leave here…please."
"I shall not run," Commodus said firmly. "I shall do what needs to be done."
Livia stepped away from him then, covering her hands with her mouth as she pictured what was going to happen. Commodus would fight Maximus. He would not win. Livia knew that. Commodus did not have the experience of Maximus. He was going to get himself killed. Watching as his wife moved to the balcony, her gaze set on the Coliseum in the distance as he moved behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, his hands splaying on her stomach as he spoke to her, whispering in her ear as he felt her shudder in his grip.
"Everything will be as it once was," he promised her. "I shall see to it. You…and me…and our child…I am being merciful, Livia. I am showing mercy to my sister for plotting behind my back…I am showing mercy to you for not telling me of her plots. The people will love me because of my compassion. I just need you to understand that, my love. I need you to understand that by tomorrow evening it shall be as it should be. I am not letting you go, Livia. I am never letting you go."
Closing her eyes as she felt him kiss her neck, Livia continued to sob. The only problem was she didn't entirely know who she was sobbing for anymore.
…
A/N: Do let me know what you think!