If You Love Someone
"If you love something, set it free."
Ruby looked up abruptly, her eyes fixing immediately on Pyrrha as she stared out the window beside her hospital bed. She frowned, her eyes traveling across the girl's form as she noted how frail and small she look against the whitewashed walls and hospital robes. Wires and IVs clung to her right arm, feeding her the daily dosage of antibiotics and nutrients to stabilize her new leg, and providing doctors with the steady beat of her still strong heart on a monitor. Yet Pyrrha…had somehow never looked more at ease. It was as if the leg she'd lost had taken all her concerns with her, as if her weakened state had somehow served to unburden her.
Ruby was desperate to understand the nature of her serenity. For three weeks she'd let the loss of her team eat away at her, the grief poured into her soul and she felt herself relying on an answer that she felt ashamed to say she wasn't certain of. In a week, Ozpin's offer expired. In a week, Roman might forfeit his right to compromise. In a week…in a week…she would have to know where her loyalties lied. She still loved Roman. A week and a half ago he might have been ready to admit the same. But now…now it had been three weeks. Now they were down to the wire and Ruby couldn't help feeling numb, broken, crippled, and still so very lost.
"It's a bit of an antiquated phrase, isn't it?"
"Antiq—wha…?" Ruby raised an eyebrow, and Pyrrha let out a soft laugh in response.
"It's an old saying. Some might even think it's overused…but I'd rather say the opposite. There have never been more honest words spoken about love…"
"Pyrrha…?"
"Am I wrong to think you're in love, Ruby?"
"Wh-What do you—"
"There's no use in denying it. Every so often I've seen that look in your eyes that I'd seen so often with Jaune. I suppose I simply learned to recognize when he was thinking about Weiss…"
Ruby felt as if her mouth had glued itself shut, and she stared at Pyrrha dumbly as she struggled to create a response to force past her lips. Her friend didn't seem to notice.
"The secret you didn't know how to confess…the one you told Jaune and I about nearly a month ago…this was it, right? Being in love was your secret…?"
"No, Pyrrha…who I'm in love with…" Ruby faltered as Pyrrha's gaze shifted to her. "It's who I'm in love with that's the secret."
"…Jaune told me that they know now. Your team, I mean."
"H-He—He did?"
"He seemed rather frustrated about it when it came up. Said they weren't treating you fairly…Yang especially…"
Ruby winced a little at the mention of her sister, her gaze fell to her feet. "It's not their fault…I—I should have told them a long time ago…"
"I don't think it's anyone's fault really. You did everything you could, right?"
"I—" Ruby's voice stalled in her throat, choking on the words a moment before continuing. "I didn't, Pyrrha. I tried to do everything on my own again, I thought I could handle it, I was—I was too scared to even trust the one person who has always been there for me…and I failed my team…" she looked up at her friend's calm expression, feeling helpless and so very guilty about state of her friend. "I—I did betray them…and they have every right to be angry at me…"
"Ruby…can you come here…?"
Ruby trembled as she lifted herself out of the chair against the far wall, her legs shaking as they carried her over to the right side of Pyrrha's hospital bed. She came to a halt beside the mattress, her body stiff as her friend lifted her torso off the headboard. She felt the weight of Pyrrha's head hitting her stomach before she registered the arms wrapping around her torso. The tremble of her frame intensified as she became fully enclosed by the red haired girl's embrace. "P-Pyrrha, what are y—"
"Don't blame yourself for everything, Ruby."
Ruby stiffened even further in her friend's arms; a strangled whimper marked the space of silence between the two girls before Pyrrha continued.
"I ended up in here because I wanted to protect the boy I love…not because of you. No matter the role you played in that explosion, I would never go back and change what I did. You're still young, Ruby. I know you're doing the best that you can. Nothing can change the results."
"But if I hadn't—"
"No one can live without making a few mistakes. I know you didn't put me here, and I know you didn't kill Russell. And even though I still don't know everything that's happening to you, I do know that you shouldn't blame yourself for the things you can't control. Sometimes, how you feel about someone is one of those things."
"Pyrrha…"
"Ruby, it's not your fault," Pyrrha murmured again as she pulled away from Ruby, her hands traveling up to the girl's shoulder. "None of this is your fault…" Pyrrha went silent for a moment and Ruby struggled to keep her composure as a more somber expression graced her friend's visage. "The person you fell in love with…are you still with them?"
"…Yeah…"
Pyrrha's eyes wandered Ruby's pain-filled features before speaking again. "Do they know you love them?"
"He does."
"…Does he love you?"
"I—I—" Ruby gasped for air for a moment. "I don't know. I think…I think I've been trying to tell myself that he does, but…he's never said it. He's never…what if it was just me, all this time? What if he never felt the same way?"
"…If you love something, set it free."
Ruby stared at Pyrrha a moment, entirely baffled as the girl's serene expression returned, her eyelids closed over her emerald eyes as the ghost of a smile played at her lips. "W-What?"
"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was," Pyrrha paused a moment to take in a deep breath, and her eyes fixed on her friend before she continued. "Ruby…you need to let him go."
"I—I can't—"
"I'm not telling you to stop loving him. I know you can't help that. But…you need to let him go. Give him space. If he doesn't seek you out on his own…then it was never meant to be."
"But…but what if he doesn't—I don't know if I can…I don't…Pyrrha I don't want to lose him!"
"If you don't let him go…you'll probably lose him anyway. Ruby, I know it hurts. It won't be easy, but I know you can do this. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Let him know that you can still stand on your own…if you keep him by your side with guilt, then it isn't love, and it never will be."
"Pyrrha…"
"If he leaves you, Jaune and I will be here for you. Ren and Nora too. You don't have to tell us everything, and we won't expect you to. Just…don't think that you'll lose everything without him." Pyrrha took Ruby's hand and gave it a good, strong squeeze as a gentle smile formed on her lips. "You can get through this. I know you can."
"…Okay."
oooOOOooo
Ruby could no longer deny that she was scared. After weeks of feeling like Roman was her only lifeline, pulling back seemed like an impossible feat. After countless nights of clinging to the affection they still felt for one another…something about taking Pyrrha's advice seemed counterproductive and wrong. She wasn't certain that this was the right path. But at this point…she'd been doing nothing for far too long. This weakness wasn't like her. Love or not, she'd always toughed it out in the past. She knew that. Perhaps Pyrrha was right. Maybe Roman needed to see that too.
Ruby ambled slowly towards Roman's bedroom, her fingers tracing the edge of each wall as she passed it. In all technicality, walking away entirely would be impossible. The dreams weren't likely to end with this. This was merely the distance they constantly mentioned and failed to maintain. She halted at the bedroom door for a moment. She took the brief pause to doubt herself, to doubt that this was worth trying, before opening the door and stepping inside. Roman was waiting for her by the window, though he was, surprisingly enough, not smoking tonight. He didn't face her until she'd fully closed the gap between them, and she found herself staring into another unreadable expression and finally filling in the blanks. She wondered if he'd always looked so ready to run away.
Ruby hesitated a moment more, searching his expression as he looked away briefly and opened his mouth to speak. She cut him off with a kiss before he could make a sound, for selfish consideration of how much harder it would be to express her choice with words. He returned the affection immediately, trailing one hand up to her cheek as her own hands came up to his jawline. As the first kiss broke, she delivered the next, and then the next, lingering only a moment before pulling away slightly, her lips mere inches from his as they both fought to catch their breath.
"Ruby I…I need to talk to you about something."
I love you, came the reply she couldn't bring herself to say aloud, and she persisted past the pain in her chest as she lifted on her onto her toes and delivered a kiss to his forehead.
"Ruby?"
I love your strengths. Her lips lingered a moment before trailing to his bangs and pressing her lips against his right cheek, just below his eye.
And I love your flaws. Ruby lifted her lips away from his cheek and wrapped her arms over his shoulders, holding him closed to her.
"Ruby what are you doing?"
I never wanted to let you go. She pulled back, and at this point, her eyes had started to water, her throat was swollen and her heart was pounding in her chest as if it wanted to escape her or die trying. She wanted him to stop her. She wanted him to pull her back before she could even finish leaving and tell he'd never let her try it ever again—but whatever concern graced his features was second only to confusion. She needed to accept in this moment that he would run, and that he might not come back. That was the point of this, to accept that. Ruby let one hand linger on his left cheek, her fingers barely brushing the surface of his skin before falling away from his visage.
She pressed the same hand flat against his chest, in the same spot where she'd scrawled her initials over and over. She paused a moment to stare at her hand, giving Roman enough time to cover it with his own hand and draw her gaze back to his face.
"What's wrong?"
She couldn't help but let out a heavy breath of relief, a weak smile appearing on her features as she tried to cut his words so deep into her memory that she could never forget them. For a single moment, she felt weightless; it was all she needed to push forward. She slid her hand out from under his until only the tips of her fingers remained. Her tears finally began to run down her face, but she forced herself to keep smiling as she backed away and broke the last bit of contact between them. She turned and started for the door, finally allowing the distance she'd been so reluctant to allow in the weeks past.
She paused at the door frame to look back. Roman seemed almost frozen in place at the window, and beyond all her uncertainty she forced herself to smile as spoke her first and last word of the night.
"Goodbye."
oooOOOooo
Rosewick trash Peeves reporting in…and…in a perfect world, the entire sequence of this chapter would have lasted longer than a day. WITH THAT SAID. Before you come after me for how quickly this all occurs, or the fact that it has occurred, scroll back to the top of the chapter. You see that little "Complete" notice? No? Well, that'd be because I ain't done yet. Soplsholdthelynchmobs. Okay, my sassafras has come to a close. Know what it's time for? Reviews!
Now the fact that so many of you pounced on the last chapter within 24 hours of it being posted frankly amazes me—but that is besides the point.
Most of you noted the sudden new update. Yes, hello, here I am again. Please don't hate me…much.
Anywho.
LordTomyh: ENGLAND. Take me with you [thotechnicallyi'dpreferitifthedestinationwerescotlandbutheyitseurope]
frik1000: holy FUCK you're still here? Why hello friend thank you for complimenting my writing please stick around.
DepressingSandals: …do you want help picking all that up?
Fernachos: Emphasis on small reprieve.
Lilyth Celestyn: More Ruby for ye :D
Slenderbrine: You have amazing patience. Teach me your secrets.
lovleydragonfly: caps lock.
And onto the news. You'll notice that I am a lot more animated in this endnote. That is because sorting out the issues I had with my initial plans for this sequence sort of revived my muse. At least, long enough for me to write this chapter. Understand that the wait next time actually will be longer than 24 hours next time, because I have projects to do for my animation classes and an English paper to write this weekend and school takes precedence to everything. Once again, I'd like to advertise my other work to you to perhaps hold you over. For those of you completely caught up in Magi [manga included], there's my fic Accidentally in Blackcastle, for those who only watched the anime, you could give Frozen Hearts and Stolen Peaches a go. If you want. They're there.
For further updates on things you'd either like to know about the story or just…my nerdy ass in general, well I would suggest my tumblrs as per usual but tbh during the school year they are updated infrequently and thus pointing you towards them would be about as useful as following this story if you were aiming to find my whereabouts. I am, however, addicted to Skype, so if you really wanna holler at me just lemme know. Mayhaps we can do the skype .
p.s.—am I way to cheerful in this end note? Probably.
p.p.s.- Rosewick trash Peeves out until next chapter.