Again unbeta'd, since lovely Tammy just became mommy for the second time.

Send her all the best wishes ^^

Warning: Sensitive chapter ahead.

xxx

Midnight strikes in the darkest night of her life, she cries

All her dreams are dyin'

Midnight strikes in the darkest night she's in tears

She hears a million angels screamin' in pain

- Midnight Strikes, LaFee

xxx

„You… you knew?"

Rai shrugged. „How happy do you think I was, when he appeared here yesterday out of nothing but thin air?", she asked dryly and Leo gave a clicking laugh. "I would've just thrown him out again." Even louder, the Fellbeast laughed and she threw him a dry glance. "Quiet, you. You haven't been any help at all." Leo's laugh seemed almost hysterical by now and finally, he wheezed for air. As if it's my fault, you mate him whenever it's possible.

„That's totally off topic and you know it!"

Talk at yourself even further and you won't even leave his bedroom any more.

„Why do I even like you?" She tossed her hands up, before turning back to her family, whose emotions ranged from discomposure in Radir's case, to Johoana's overwhelmed face, all the way to disbelief in Mirak's features. Nihal's face showed sheer horror. "I dared to ask him to teach me, like a… a…" Apparently, she couldn't think of anything and Rai rolled her eyes. "Serves him right, simply showing up at the front-door", she declared. Then, she shivered. "Let's go inside. It's way too cold out here."

„You should have told us!" Deeply troubled, Jhoana looked at her, before sitting down on the heavy chair next to the fireplace. "I would have…" "You would've what?" Rai shook her head. „He planned to spend the night here, and would've left immediately this morning." She shrugged. "Was he supposed to get here, guarded and armed, to say Hello? That's a little dramatic, even for him."

„Mutilating you is not?", Mirak demanded. "On your last visit, you wish nothing but ill upon him!" Rai sighed. "Sometimes, I still do," she grumbled. „However, a lot of stuff happened since the last time, and…" She didn't finish her sentence and shook her head once more. "Let's just say, our first meeting was rather unlucky. The second one… well, that too, if I'm honest." She groaned, hiding her face in her hands. "And we're just endling up in bed ever since," she mumbled. "For the record, all of this is his fault! I merely asked him, if he knew, who might have built this farmyard. And two weeks later, he just… appears here!"

After a few moments, she looked up again and Radir was the one who pulled himself together first -or maybe he had simply been the only one to understand the mumbled, muffled words. "You share the bed with him?" Rai blinked. How did he -Oh. Oh shit. She didn't… Okay, what was she supposed to do now? Decline? Lie? „Yes," she sighed and forced herself to lift her head. Jhoana's mouth fell open; in silent support, Hafdir's hand lowered on her shoulder. Unhappily, Rai looked up. "I was just so… devastated, and he was… I'm not sure. And I guess, he wasn't either."

„I do not wish to infantilise you…" Hafdir's words were careful. „He is a king, whereas we are merely a family of simple famers… however; I have heard he has a son. I do not know elven-habits, but his wife…" Rai gave a crocked grin. "I thought exactly the same… and then I told him that he's an asshole." She chuckled, before getting serious again. "He doesn't have a wife," she stated. "He's alone…" Her eyes wandered to the window. "He doesn't have anybody besides his son… he's responsible for his people; he can't just do whatever he feels like. And I don't have anybody besides you and Leo… Whoever meets me, goes out of the way. Thranduil and I, we… realised, there's a lot we happen to have in common. We're lonely, just different kinds of. We can't just bind ourselves to someone. He needs to think about his realm and I just cannot… We don't have anybody to comfort us in cold and dark days, no one to keep us close at night. And…" She sighed. "And we just decided to be lonely together, he and I." She just couldn't explain it any better; didn't even fully know herself what it was, that was happening between herself and the Elvenking. An affair? Some kind of friendship with certain benefits? Simply sex? Or… „I just don't know," she closed, frustrated. And Thranduil? He probably didn't know, either.

„Is it the gold?" Mirak sounded frustrated. "Or power? What is it, Rai? What?"

Rai's head shot up. Gold? She wasn't even remotely interested in that puny metal, unless she needed to get enough together, to buy a new pair of boots. However; before she was able to answer, Hafdir intervened. "That is enough," he declared and threw his son a warning glance. "There is no reason to add even more fuel to the fire."

„I don't give a shit about his money," she stated, before sighing. That wasn't supposed to happen. None of it. And finally, Jhoana broke the silence. "The carpets will not clean themselves." As obvious her attempt to change topics was, as happily Rai obliged. "I'll help you."

xxx

„Good God." Groaning, she collapsed into bed. Her arms felt as if they'd fall of any moment and she didn't even manage to lift the book she actually wanted to read for a few more minutes. If it was that hard to clean a few stupid carpets, she didn't even want to know how Thranduil managed to clean the large, ridiculously soft ones in his chambers.

Carefully, she grabbed the blanket and snuggled herself inside. It had gotten cold. Maybe she should ask Jhoana for a blanket, when she left tomorrow. But Jhoana didn't have many herself and the winter promised to be a harsh one. She would bear a little cold, their travel wouldn't be that long. Besides…

She woke up, feeling someone watching her. Jerking upwards, she sat up. It was in the middle of the night, what was – "Mirak?" She blinked. "What… Did something happen?" A few years ago, the main stable's roof had collapsed under the masses of snow; they had worked all night to save as many animals inside as possible, even though two pigs and a cow needed to be slaughtered. Hopefully, this time it wasn't- "I have been waiting all those years." His voice was low, she nearly didn't understand the words. "I have waited and waited for… but instead you decided to whore yourself out!"

„How the hell are you even talking to me?", she snapped, before the meaning of his words got to her. "You did… what?"

„Every single time you were with us, I wished beyond hope for you to stay. And every single time, you left. I have waited and waited… And finally accepted you chose to be without husband." He balled his fists, stepping forward, fury clouding his face. "But then that elf shows up, and you…" The young man bared his teeth. "His solitude is worth more than mine? Him you choose to comfort, whereas my craving is worthless?"

Rai swallowed and got up a little further. "I didn't know, you did…" She shook her head. "You're like a brother to me, you always were. I couldn't know… You never said a word."

„Because I have waited! Waited for you to realise, I…" He stepped closer. „If it is not the gold… not the power… why are you comforting him, whereas scorning me?"

„Because I had no idea you felt like that," she defended herself, skittering a little further away from him.

„Now you know."

„I… Let's talk about it in the morning, alright?", she asked; however, it seemed to be the wrong answer, since Mirak got closer. "Is it the looks?", he asked coldly. "The certainty of having an immortal lover, who will never age and grow old?" She swallowed yet again and looked -the very first time within this place- for an escape. The window's heavy curtains were closed and right in front of her, Mirak blocked the door. "If you decided to sell yourself to him, even though he mutilated and imprisoned you, feels nothing for you…" His voice had gotten rough and carried something inside, that forced her to feel something she rarely ever did: Fear. "Then I have even more right to claim you."

„No! Mirak, please, I-" Before she was even able to finish the sentence, her head flew aside and the metallic taste of blood filled her mouth. She wasn't able to react, as a stronger, much heavier body pressed her own into the sheets. She opened her mouth, yet before being able to scream, a pillow was stuffed inside, forcing her to gag heavily. As she tried to pull the fabric, two large hands grabbed her own. She screamed; panicked, however; the only thing she accomplished was yet another forceful gagging reflex. She tried to free her hands but his were way stronger, calloused and rough by long years of daily work on the fields and stables.

Mirak's full weight forced her down, pressing on her chest and for a few moments she fought the black spots dancing on the edges of her vision. Using all her strength, she tossed herself aside, only to be forced down again mere seconds later. For a moment, his hands left hers and she fought him off, until his knee slammed down on her chest, forcing the remaining air out of her lungs. Something got wrapped around her wrists and she screamed again; the sound muffled by the fabric inside her mouth. His hands left her and she teared on the bonds -was it a belt?- without being able to loosen the loop on the bedpost. She tried to gasp for air, yet little oxygen found its way through the gag.

Calloused hands slipped beneath the tunic she wore at night and she struggled, rolling her body aside, just to be tossed on her back once more. He lifted the fabric, his hands grabbing her waist.

No. No, no, no, no…

Mere moments later, a muffled scream left her mouth. It hurt… Let it be over soon… Please, Lord, let it be over.

xxx

Slowly, so very slowly she heaved herself upwards, before being able to loosen the belt's hook with her left hand's middle-finger. Next to her, Mirak was laying, having fallen asleep after… no. Not now. If she thought about it now, she would be paralyzed; unable to go on. She mustn't, not now, even though her lower body burned like fire. It hurt so much… With a little clunk, the belt buckle fell down and she carefully undid the loop to free her hands. Her wrists were swollen and stiff. She spat out the pillow; her lips were cracked open and a little bloody from when she had bitten on her tongue.

Carefully, she slipped out of bed; the sharp pain forcing tears in her eyes. Mirak rolled aside, grunting something under his breath. Her clothes… she had to… the next grunt was louder than before. She grabbed one of that sheets that had slipped to the floor and hectically wrapped it around the ripped remains of her tunic. Then, she carefully opened the door before running down the stairs; falling on her knees and forcing herself to go on, slamming open the main door. Blood dripped down her leg, she seemed to have cut herself somewhere on the steps.

„Leo…Leo!" Her voice was hoarse, nearly breaking, as she stumbled outside. She coughed, slapping his nostrils to wake him. „Leo…. Wake up. Please!"

Lazily, one of his large yellow eyes opened; focussing on her a moment later. What…?!

„Leave," she croaked. „Please!"

What happened? The Fellbeast bared his teeth. He smelled blood and… sex. However, the strong smell of light she was always clad into after having mated with the Elfking was missing. He smelled… "Please," she begged silently, unable to force any sound from her trembling lips. He lowered his head and she sobbed in pain, as she tried to climb between the spikes on his back. Painfully, she managed to pull herself upwards.

Carefully, he got up, pushing himself into the sky. It was hard to take off into the cold air without a proper swing, yet he managed and turned around, as soon as he had reached proper high. On his back, Rai quietly sniffled through her tears.

xxx

Eldar might need less sleep than mortals, however; their horses still needed to rest every once in a while. Thus, they had decided to take camp on the Anduin's eastern shore. They would travel on by sunrise, as soon as the horses were rested enough. Lighting a fire would be too dangerous; they were few and the bright shine might attract unwanted attention. But the stars shone brightly and their light was reflected by the great river's floods.

From afar, the slow and steady beat of giant wings neared. Thranduil frowned, as he turned south. Above the river, a Fellbeast got closer, flying slowly yet steadily just above the water. It was obvious it searched for something -or rather, someone. What did this mean? Rai was not supposed to catch up to them until at least sundown. Was it even her? Only as the beast got closer, he was certain, yet before any of them could catch its attention, the Fell had already spotted them.

Slowly, it turned about, to get down as closely as possible next to them.

„What happened?", Thranduil demanded, however; Leo simply bared his teeth. Besides the fact that he wasn't certain himself, the king would have to make a little more effort to be able to understand him.

„Thra… Thranduil?", Rai murmured and looked up, only to meet the eyes of three elves who had gotten up. "Thranduil!", she hiccupped, jumped down… only to scream in agony, as a sharp pain cut through her lower body. Before she went down, a pair of slender hands grabbed her shoulders. Wordlessly, she slung her arms around him, hiding her face in his chest. Carefully, he stroked her tangled hair. "What happened?", he repeated, quietly this time. It was obvious how Rai had left precipitously; she wasn't even clothed properly. Silently, he begged the Valar to be mistaken in his fears, to be overreacting, to be… anything, as he carefully sat down with her on one of the blankets. Feren light a fire, but even as its flames already licked into the air, she didn't calm. Again and again her body was shaken by helpless sobbing, and whenever she tried to answer, she was unable to find any words. Instead she clung to him, as if her very life depended on it.

Carefully, he clasped her face, to force her to look at him. He said something she didn't understand. It sounded like a mantra. Again… and a third time. Her pulse went down and she felt numbed. Unreal… like a dream. Or a nightmare.

„What has happened, tinnu nín?"

She blinked, watching him, her face blank. What happened? Where? Tonight? "Mirak raped me." The words were emotionless, as if it wasn't her they were about. Maybe someone else. Someone she didn't know and had never met. "Twice."