DISCLAIMER: Idon'townTRC.
Long chapter, yay! With another long chapter coming up, yay! I'm sorry, you must be bored to death reading those long chappies I keep putting up. I swear, I'll try to get them shorter. I know I promised before, and that didn't work out that well, but I'll really, really try!
Oh, and you guys who review, I LUV YOU! *grabs everyone in a group hug* I won't name you all, but you know who you are. Every time I read one of your reviews, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside ^_^ *finally lets you go* Sorry about the near-suffocation, that's another thing I have to work on *laugh*
Anyways, enjoy!
I bang the back of my head on the screen behind me and listen to it rattle on its frame. My fingers play distractedly with the leather of my whip, but I barely register that fact. My mind is turned towards something else.
"Mokochan?" I repeat with a sigh. The fur ball shakes his head.
"Mokona really doesn't know what happened," he says again, humouring me. "But Fai and Kurogane didn't appear at the same place we did."
"Can't you sense them or something?" I ask for the fourth time. "I mean, with Fai's magic aura…"
"They're too far for Mokona to sense anything," he objects.
"And my damn magic won't show itself now that I need it," I conclude grimly. Great, just what we needed.
"But Fai and Kurogane can't be far," Mokona tries to reassure me. I let my head fall against the screen again.
"And exactly how far is 'not far'?" I ask, fearing the answer although I've already heard it. Mokona shrugs.
"Mokona doesn't know," he admits. "But they're in the same world." I grunt.
"Well, that means if we start right now and assume they don't move an inch, we might be able to find them in a few hundred years," I say sarcastically. I look at the closed doors, wondering when they'll open again. I haven't seen a glimpse of our hostesses since they've left us here, and the rest of the house is strangely quiet. The street isn't though, judging from the low rumble of voices coming from the outside – from which we are only separated by a decorative array of wooden bars. My eyes then fall on Sakura and Syaoran, sleeping peacefully on their respective futons. There's an extra one on the floor for me, but I've left it untouched. The girls who brought us here couldn't take no for an answer when they asked if I would like to rest as well. Rather lively bunch, these girls; they found us barely minutes after I had finally resigned myself to the fact that the guys were nowhere in the area. They seemed completely taken by the sight of the kids sleeping, treating us almost like lost puppies as I tried to explain that we were travellers and that we weren't injured in the slightest. I was a bit reluctant to leave our spot, hoping that maybe Fai and Kurogane weren't far and were looking for us as well, but Mokona was formal; they weren't there. I tried to obtain some information from the group of babbling girls around us, with no luck. They seemed too busy talking and gushing to hear my questions, so I gave up with a plan to ask them later, to someone a little calmer. But so far we've been left in this room until the others woke up, and no one has bothered us since then. I can't say that it pleases me to be left in the dark as to our hosts, but I can't deny my need to be alone. Though I'm not really alone, as I've realized.
Mokona jumps on my knee and faces me, suddenly serious. "Why are you trying so hard to be lonely?" he asks. I frown, wondering what the relevance to our conversation is.
"I'm not trying to be lonely," I protest.
"But you don't want to be with us anymore," he says. I shake my head.
"That's not true," I answer. And that's the problem, I think to myself. Mokona shifts its weight from one paw to the other, repetitively.
"But," he starts, "Mokona noticed it. And Fai and Sakura and Syaoran and Kurogane noticed it too, and they're all worried. In that other world, the one with the tornado, you started arguing with Fai and Syaoran, and you looked unhappy, and then you didn't want to laugh when something was funny; Mokona tried to make you laugh but it didn't work." He looks up to me with a sad expression, and I can't help but to whimper.
"You tried to make me laugh?" I say, holding out my hand to him. He climbs in. I smile. "That's sweet."
"Why didn't you want to laugh?" Mokona asks again. I close my eyes and shake my head. I feel his soft body pressed against my neck, shaking slightly. With a sigh I place my hand on his trembling form to steady him.
"I'm tired," I say, as though it was an excuse. "I'm sorry I didn't laugh, Mokochan, really. Next time you do something funny I promise I'll smile, okay?" I get no answer from the fur-ball, and look up to the ceiling in search of inspiration. A devilish spark in my eyes, I turn back to Mokona. "Hey, when we find Kuro-puu, what do you suppose we do to him? I propose making up a tone of new nicknames while he's gone." Mokona jumps up and looks at me.
"Oh yes! And can we make up a lot of stories about him and tell them to all the girls here!" he exclaims, and I smile.
"You have read my thoughts," I reply with a sly smile. We keep joking like that for a while, imagining new tortures for Kurogane and Fai when they come back. My smile doesn't fail, but I soon find myself thinking of other things. It was something I had noticed in the previous world, but had been too preoccupied to pay any mind to it; those little bunny creatures sure had a lot of fur. It was quite hot over there. Not the kind of weather to justify so much protection against an inexistent cold. And for the first time, the frugality of their infrastructures strikes me. Even for a village that had recently been devastated by a tornado, the buildings were rare and poorly constructed. They didn't seem like long-time forest dwellers. And then… the feather. If it was at the village all along, shouldn't have Mokona sensed it when we first were there? I nod distractedly at one of the fur-ball's comments, and then stop. Suspiciously, I observe the room for an unknown presence. Finding nothing, I frown. Was it really just me, or…?
"Sakura! Sakura is awake!" Mokona exclaims joyfully.
I smile brightly. "Good morning!" I call out to the dishevelled head peeking out from under her covers. The princess's glazed eyes blink confusedly as she takes in our surroundings. Slowly, she pulls herself into a sitting position.
"Where…?" she asks as I get up and walk towards her.
"We changed worlds when you were awake, as you can see by the absence of tropical trees," I answer, sweeping my arm in a large circle to include the entire room. She looks up to me and blinks.
"How long was I asleep?" she asks.
"We just got here," I say, "so not too long. Well okay, a couple of hours. I've been pretty bored sitting here all by myself, but Mokona's made it his mission to entertain me."
"Mokona's been a very good entertainer!" the fur-ball adds, quickly breaking into the song. I roll my eyes with a smile. Even Sakura breaks into a laugh as she picks up the little guy. For some reason, I notice, my inner alarm doesn't go off when I'm around these two.
"Where exactly are we?" she asks again, taking in Syaoran's slumbering form beside her. I shrug.
"I'd tell you if I knew. All I know for now is that we're in some sort of town, in a house belonging to a bunch of hyperactive girls that managed to get on my nerves in the five minutes I've seen them," I admit. "They left us here so you two could sleep in peace, but I've really been wondering where they went after that, because I haven't seen them." Sakura nods.
"Where have Fai-san and Kurogane-san gone?" she asks curiously. I grunt and bit my lip, staring at the floor.
"Yeah, about that," I say, taking a deep breath. How exactly can I phrase this? "Mokona has something to tell you," I announce, pointing an accusing finger towards the twirling fur-ball. It stops dancing for barely a second.
"Fai and Kurogane aren't here," he says, and then jumps in a pirouette. I sigh frustratingly as Sakura's puzzled eyes rush back to me. So I'm still stuck explaining it after all. So I explain to her the whole thing, starting when she lost consciousness in the last world. She seems rather touched when I narrate the shower of flowers brought to us by the tornado, but then frowns worriedly when I explain that we have no idea where the mage and the ninja have landed.
"We should go look around," she says. I shake my head.
"They're not around here," I object, looking uneasily at the floor. "Mokona says they have to be somewhere in this world, but I still have no idea where and then there's Syaoran who's still sleeping and I didn't want to wake him up after all that happened…"
"We should," she decides. "We have to find them as soon as we can." With a determined nod she turns to her companion and starts shaking him gently. I smile at her candid expression, and sit back on my heels. At first Syaoran doesn't respond in the slightest, and Sakura's shaking becomes more insistent.
"Syaoran-kun!" she calls. "Syaoran-kun, wake up please!" Soon it becomes obvious the boy has no plans to wake up, and I lean over the two of them worriedly.
"Hey," I call, snapping my fingers next to his ear. He doesn't even twitch. "Well, he's pretty much gone," I declare to a slowly panicking Sakura. Tears start to pool in her eyes when I say this. She turns to Syaoran and then to me, her breath rising.
"Do you mean," she almost cries out, "that he's hurt? Oh, he can't be hurt, please, he can't! Was it when I was unconscious, did something happen? Why didn't you tell me? Syaoran-kun-"
"Wha-? Huh?" I interrupt, lifting a hand in sign of peace. "He's not hurt, I swear. I just meant that he finally crashed." Sakura seems to calm down, and she looks up to me with wet eyes.
"Crashed?"
"Crashed."
"Crashed!" Mokona exclaims in echo.
"What does that mean?" Sakura sniffles.
"He's tired," I say. "He barely slept in days, and now he just… crashed. Of fatigue. There's nothing wrong with him."
"Oh," she says softly, looking down to him and bringing a hand to her heart. "Oh," she repeats, seemingly in shock. I smile gently, putting an arm around her shoulders protectively.
"You know," I start, "you have to stop worrying so much about-" Suddenly the doors open, and we both look up. A tall and elegant woman stands in the doorway, framed by two girls who eye us curiously. She smiles when she sees Sakura.
"Good day," she says, "and welcome. I'm glad you woke up." She turns to me. "And it's nice to see you again. I can see you ignored our well-meant offer to rest, yourself." I respond with a stiff bow of the head.
"Karen-Dayuu-san," I salute her politely. "I'm just not tired, that's all."
"I believe you," she assures me. "I simply wanted to see if you needed anything. It would reflect poorly on us if we didn't take care of our guests," she concludes with a low chuckle. I nod.
"Sakura, this is Karen-Dayuu-san," I introduce. "She's the only one who didn't annoy me back then."
"Oh! Hello and thank you!" the princess exclaims, bowing hurriedly. Karen-Dayuu bows back.
"I hope you are not in need of anything?" she asks us. I shake my head
"No, nothing," I answer. "Though if you could get your hand on someone who could show us around and answer our questions, that would be very much appreciated…"
"Oh, if I could ask you to wait some more before leaving this room," she replies, just seeming to remember. "Owner still doesn't know you are here, and some of the girls would be a bit too eager to see them awake." I grimace, thinking of our previous welcoming party.
"Yeah, okay. Maybe we could wait a little," I concede. "Thank you for checking on us."
"It's been a pleasure," she answers, bowing her head. She points to Syaoran with a quick chin movement. "Is he alright as well?"
"He's fine," I say reassuringly. "He's very tired, that's all."
"Uh-huh," Sakura emphasizes, seeming to be convincing herself in the process. Karen-Dayuu smiles.
"Please, just call if you need anything at all. Just," and she giggles softly, "don't do it too loud. We'd rather Owner not find out about you like this."
"Excuse me, but who's this Own-" I start, but the door has already closed on Karen-Dayuu and her followers. I sigh frustratingly. "I don't like being kept in the dark!" I whine. I wanted to ask her about Fai and Kurogane, but failed to place a word in again. My feelings must be showing, because the fur-ball seems to read my mind.
"Don't worry!" Mokona chirps. "Kurogane is a big, strong ninja. He won't let anything happen to them!" I grunt, unconvinced. Sakura eyes me worriedly.
"Maybe you should sleep, like that woman said," she suggests. "You really look tired." I shake my head. She insists. "I've slept a lot since we've left Outo Country. I can wake you up if something happens." I shake my head again.
"I'm good," I say. "I'm not tired." Mokona looks down at me from atop Sakura's head. I eye him as well, defying him to protest in front of the princess, but he doesn't say a word. And for that, I am grateful. With a sigh I let myself fall on the ground, cross-legged. We sit, silent, for what seems like an eternity, until Sakura decides to speak.
"Aisha…" she begins shyly, then gains some confidence, "what happened in Outo Country?" I snap back from my train of thoughts and turn to her.
"What?" I say. "You don't remember? You know, Fai-san opened a café and made us wear really girly maid outfi-"
"Oh, I remember that, don't worry," she cuts me off with a giggle, but turns serious again in the face of my attempted joke. "I meant, when I was asleep, what happened? When we left?"
I shrug. "Nothing much." She frowns as she leans towards me and peers into my eyes.
"Something happened to make us leave," she says. "Why won't you tell me?" I avoid her gaze.
"Listen, I don't think now is the best time for me to start-"
"Why not? I said I don't want to be a burden for you, but how can I do that if I don't know half of the things that happen?"
"It's not exactly fun." Too many muddled emotions mixed in there for me to talk about it calmly; it's too fresh.
"Could you tell me? Please? I know Syaoran-kun won't want to bother me with it when he wakes up, and I want to know, please…" I look for a moment into Sakura's wide, green eyes and make up my mind.
"Fine," I growl. "But I don't want you interrupting, or asking questions before I'm done. Okay?" She nods hurriedly, and I notice that Mokona is listening intently as well. With a sigh, I begin my story. And, although reticently, I begin to realize a few things. First of all, I'm a little stupid. Second of all, so is everyone else.
XxX
Syaoran opens his eyes violently, after what seemed like a particularly bad dream. "Syaoran-kun…" I hear Sakura say worriedly as she leans over him. The boy slowly hoists himself up to a sitting position and thoughtfully brings a hand to his right eye.
"You looked like you were in a lot of pain!" Sakura exclaims. "Are you alright?" There is a tense pause before Syaoran answers.
"It was a dream from long ago," he admits.
"A nightmare?" she asks.
"No," he replies with a reassuring smile. She reaches for his face, gently framing it with both her hands.
"But," she argues, "it was a bad dream, right?" At first Syaoran seems taken aback by her earnestness, but soon he softly brushes away her hands and hold them in his.
"I'm okay," he assures her, a small enigmatic smile playing on his lips. His eyes quickly scan the room in a sweeping arc. "We came to a new country, right?" he asks, and then observes the room more carefully. "What about Kurogane-san and Fai-san?" I don't answer, and neither does Sakura. Then, the boy's gaze is attracted by the wooden bars that serve as an excuse to an outdoor wall. With a bewildered expression he rushes to the bars and sits there, staring at the scene outside.
"Wh…where the…" he stutters.
"Where the hell is right," I say, joining him. Sakura and I know the scenery by heart at this point, but it's true that it can be impressive to someone who doesn't expect it. In front of our eyes stands a bustling town; colourful lights and costumes fight for the viewer's attention while stands and shops of all sorts attract the crowds like flies to honey. At the end of the street is a large tent, of the kind that usually houses a circus, which I wouldn't be surprised if it did. Syaoran doesn't have the time to ask any more questions, because at that moment the doors fly open to reveal the one thing I feared most; the army of girls that brought us here.
"YOU'RE AWAKE!" they yell blissfully, flooding the room in a merciless tide. I do my best to disappear against a wall, but only succeed in escaping them for a few moments.
"We were so worried because you weren't moving!"
"How did kids like this end up in the Yuuka district?"
"More than that, this kid's cute!" one of them exclaims, trapping Syaoran in a sandwich hug with another girl.
"Oh, this young lady's so cute!" another one says as she grabs hold of Sakura.
"Mokona too!"
"Kya! You're really cute!"
"Mokona's always been sexy," he agrees.
"Gaaah… Don't touch me! I'm your age, goddamnit, your age! Let go!" I exclaim, fighting against the tide.
"But you're so adorable!" one girl protests as she tackles me.
"I am not! I am not cute, do you hear me? Not cute!" Another girl joins the first one, and then another, and they manage to trap me between them. "Help…!" I try unconvincingly, attempting to claw my way out.
"Where are Kurogane-san and Fai-san?" Syaoran manages to ask through the chaos.
"Not here!" Sakura calls back.
"Seems we didn't land in the same place," Mokona croons, covered in lipstick.
"What?"
"Since we're in the same world, we shouldn't be too far apart."
"If that's the case, we should go l-"
"WAIT A MINUTE!" The entire room freezes as the strong voice echoes around us. Craning my neck, I manage to see a woman standing in the doorway, seeming unpleased.
"What are you loitering around here for in the middle of work, ladies?" she asks disapprovingly. Her childish pigtails and soft features clash with the knife protruding from her back and her strong, determined glare. "Although he's a child, men are prohibited from here!" she continues, looking down at Syaoran.
"Suzuran-chan!" the girls croon happily, like children acting adorable to calm their angry mother.
"That's 'Owner'!" she replies forcefully, to which the girls answer with a wave of giggles and smiles. 'Suzuran-chan' is now shooting lightning from her eyes as she glares at all the girls amassed in front of her.
"Please let this one go, Owner," Karen-Dayuu's calm voice rises from behind her. I almost let escape an exclamation of relief when I see her stand peacefully in the doorway.
"Karen-Dayuu," Suzuran moans as she turns to face the other woman.
"When these children showed up," she explains without waiting for an invitation, "they'd been sleeping for a bit beyond the walls. This lady," she looks at me, "seemed like she was completely lost, so we showed her in. The young lady awoke earlier, but the boy wouldn't wake up at all. The young lady looked like she was about to cry, so everybody's been worried." Suzuran eyes us critically.
"Are you wounded too?" she asks Syaoran.
"No, not really," he answers.
"So why did you come and collapse her?" she presses on.
"We're travellers," he explains, "and…"
"Oh, you must be hungry!" a girl exclaims worriedly.
"Such poor things to end up here!"
"And they're so young to be travelling alone!"
"Hey! Who am I?" I protest, perking up at the comment. But I am utterly ignored, as the group of girls turn as one to Suzuran.
"Owner!" they plead, as though asking their mother for a puppy. Suzuran stands with her arms crossed, thoughtful. Finally, she speaks.
"If they collapsed on their journey, to ignore them would be a disgrace to our name," she decides, then crouches dramatically. "I, Suzuran, owner of the Yuuka district, will take you in! Welcome, travellers!" Her announcement is met with screams of bliss and clapping from the girls; even Karen-Dayuu giggles like a schoolgirl.
"Yay! Does that mean we get to dress them up?" a girl asks, and her suggestion is met with a thunder of applause.
"Yes! Let's get them out of these old clothes!"
"Dress up! Dress up!"
"I want to dress up the young lady!"
"Oh, and I call the other young lady!"
"And we should put some makeup on them!"
"No! No one is getting dressed up, and no one is putting on any makeup!"
"Awwww! Don't worry, you'll look beautiful, lady!"
"Aisha! My name is Aisha! Help! Gah!"
"Mokona loves makeup! Especially lipstick!"
"Um… please, I think we shouldn't…"
"Let's give them a matching theme!"
"Oh yes, oh yes!"
"NO!"
"We should dress them in cherry blossoms!"
"EVERYONE GET TO WORK!" Suzuran's furious cry rings through the air.
XxX
When I grow up, I want to join the circus. I think I probably drove my mom crazy with that statement when I was little. It was always a different thing: when I was five I wanted to be a lion tamer, when I was eight, a clown. I grew up to be ten and wished I were a juggler. And when I turned thirteen and my dreams to join a troupe were reduced to childish fantasies, if you would have asked me one of those crapy personality quiz questions and probed what I wished to be were I in a circus, I would have answered: an acrobat. But dreams are like clothes; you outgrow them eventually, and that one was no exception. Though now, looking up to the bright lights and high trapeze of the Suzuran clan circus, I feel a child's heart beat in my chest.
"Cool! Cool!" Sakura exclaims beside me as Mokona claps earnestly.
"It really is," Syaoran agrees. I don't say a word, too busy watching the acrobats perform, flying through the air effortlessly in bird-like fashion. I marvel at how easy it seems, how graceful. And I'm a little jealous. Mokona laughs as he lands on my head, dancing.
"Aisha looks like she's having fun!" he exclaims, and they all burst in laughter after a closer look at me. I feel the red mount to my cheeks and look down. It turns out the girls did dress us in matching outfits after all. Although the sandals are so high I wonder how I can manage a few steps without falling, the rest of the clothes are fairly comfortable, and no one seems to mind me and Syaoran wearing our weapons casually at our hips.
"What do you mean?" I say, but already suspecting the answer.
"Your eyes are so wide," Sakura answers, clutching her stomach. "It's adorable."
"Aisha looks like a kid in a candy shop!" Mokona adds, pirouetting. I catch him and bring him to my face level.
"Do you want to know what you look like?" I offer. He shakes his head.
"Nope, Mokona is happy with not knowing," the fur-ball says. I chuckle, letting him go – free to nest on Syaoran's head again. Sakura is still laughing, although Syaoran has retreated to an amused smile a while back.
"Was I that bad?" I ask.
"No…" Syaoran begins with a smile, shooting frequent glances at my hands as though wary of a hit. "You just looked…"
"Like a total idiot?" I finish for him.
"I never said that!" he replies, shielding himself with his arms and laughing. I laugh too, sending a playful punch in his direction.
"That's for thinking it," I say.
Sakura stands between us. "No fighting," she preaches lightly. I pout playfully.
"But he made fun of me!" I whine. "Like he never wanted to join the circus when he was little!" Sakura looks curiously at me, then at the show we can peek through the curtains.
"Circus?" she asks.
"They perform all kinds of skills and shows for the audience," Syaoran explains, visibly happy to be back in his role of the inter-dimensional know-it-all.
"They came to Clow Country too!" Sakura seems to remember. She looks into the tent, eyes sparkling. "Even though it feels different, I'm so happy!" Then she calms down, thoughtful. "I got those memories now because you found those feathers. Thank you," she says, turning to Syaoran with a smile. He returns it. I can't help the urge to cut in.
"And me, in there? Didn't I help too?" I ask, pretending to pout.
"And Mokona? Mokona helped too, right?" the fur-ball adds, bouncing. The princess laughs.
"Of course you did," she says, a little apologetic. "I'm sorry."
"Naw, I'm fine," I say, waving away her concerns. Suddenly, the ring behind us seems to burst with excitement and hushed tones. Before we can take a closer look inside to see the cause of such change, someone exclaims:
"It's Karen-Dayuu!"
The woman is now standing in the middle of the ring in a fiery dress, holding a flame-like fan that almost seems to glisten in the weak light. The two usual girls are beside her, holding up what seems to be two lotus flowers. With one smooth movement, Karen-Dayuu brushes her fan towards one of the lotus, and I muffle a gasp; too fast for a natural flower, the petals open gracefully to reveal a tiny flame. She does the same to the other flower, under the amazed exclamations of the audience. Then, with an expression of intense serenity she lifts both arms in an invitation to the flames, which sprout from the flowers and into the air in a myriad of stars. They descend slowly to the ground, where they extinguish, but one has not disappeared that two take its place.
"The sparks are so beautiful," Sakura says.
"They look like fireflies," Syaoran agrees, mesmerized. In the same movement, both me and Sakura reach for the flames. Although they flicker quickly in the air, I know they will not harm.
"But if you touch it…!" Syaoran exclaims in warning as Sakura cups one in her palm. As for me, I still let the spark dance around my fingers before imprisoning it.
"Our fire won't hurt you even if it touches your skin," a voice reassures him.
"Suzuran-san!" we all exclaim, turning to find the master of the circus behind us. She is gently holding a flame of her own, looking down at it with a mixture of bitterness and regret.
"These flames are a gift granted to us by our guardian god," she explains, and then crushes the flame between her fingers, angrily. "But those people at the shrine said it would invite calamity!" I look back at the fire dancing in my palm; I don't see how something so small and pure could cause any sort of grief when it delights people the way it does here. Unlike water, fire has never scared me. I'm about to ask why the people of that shrine would ever think such a thing, when I am interrupted.
"Guardian God?" Syaoran asks, visibly focused on other topics. Suzuran manages a small smile.
"That's right. Our troupe's guardian god. The statue of Ashura," she explains, looking thoughtfully out to the circus ring. "We, the Suzuran clan, have always performed while on tour."
"Then, the rooms for us to rest are…" Syaoran starts
"You can see our tenement over there," she answers, pointing out to the street and the many overcrowded buildings. "Here is the Yuuka district. When the members of our troupe return, they stay here. But only girls are allowed in here. Guys are, of course, forbidden to enter." At these words, Syaoran blushes and looks down at his feet.
Seemingly embarrassed, he mutters, "So…sorry."
Suzuran smiles and winks. "No problem! To best satisfy our customers is our motto!" The boy smiles. I pass an arm around his shoulders and ruffle his hair teasingly.
"Yeah, see, what she means by that is that they've made an exception because you're so cute. I knew it paid to be adorable!" I state in a conspiring tone. Suzuran and Sakura both chuckle as Syaoran turns red. I smile, myself. But Suzuran quickly reverts back to a serious expression, looking thoughtfully up to the large colourful tent.
"Once a year, we come back here when the moon is at its most beautiful. We're happy performing anywhere, but it feels extra special to perform here, at home," she says. Sakura nods in agreement.
"It really looks like everyone is having fun," the princess says, her gaze turning back to Karen-Dayuu and the girls performing in the tent.
"But…" Suzuran says, suddenly tensing, "when we come back here, strange things begin to happen with the statue of our guardian god, Ashura, and the statue of Yasha." A strange silence follows, too tense for any of us to try breaking it, lest it explodes. Finally, I gather enough voice to utter a few words.
"What kind of things?"
"They say," Suzuran snarls, "the people of the shrine, they say that their statue of Yasha cries tears of blood every time our statue of Ashura is near this place. They say it is a curse, and blame it for everything." I look down thoughtfully, more out of respect for Suzuran than out of real concern, and notice that the tiny flame still bounces atop my palm. All the others have long since given out. Tentatively, I lift my hand. The flame follows. My hand falls to my side. The flame goes with it. I try to seize it, but it dances right out of my reach before I can. Suzuran has noticed as well, and eyes the flame, then me, curiously.
"Strange," she says softly, and I look up to her. "Only Karen-Dayuu is able to will the flames as she wishes. Only a chosen few have gained the god's fire. It is a very rare gift, one to be treasured." I almost mention my recent blazing debut – and how this doesn't exactly compare – but refrain from doing so as I see Suzuran's eyes sparkle. Maybe she wishes she could posses that gift as well. Instead, I only smile.
"Thank you," I say. "Don't worry, I will."
"You better," Suzuran replies, teasing. "Because I know a few who would gladly take it from you." I don't think she knows her eyes are sending a longing only the blind could ignore. Behind the curtain the crowd roars, breaking the moment. Almost like snapping from a dream, Suzuran blinks and shakes her head. She looks at us.
"Would you like to see the statue of Ashura?" she offers lightly. I look to the others; Sakura is nodding enthusiastically while Syaoran shrugs, barely containing his excitement. I smile. Syaoran's archaeological passion is about to get its fix.
We are lead through the street, to a small house. I scan the thinning crowd for familiar faces, but don't see any. Although neither I nor Syaoran has insisted to leave on a search for Fai and Kurogane, mostly out of respect to our hosts, the idea has never left my mind. I had hoped that they would have found themselves in the busy streets of Yuuka district by coincidence, but so far have found no such luck.
"Here it is," Suzuran announces, opening a door and ushering us inside. "This is the statue of Ashura." I contain a whistle of admiration.
"Wow," I say instead. Mixing masculine and feminine features so artfully that it has rendered it impossible to determinate the gender of the subject, the statue of Ashura truly is a work of art. Sitting down on what appears to be a lotus flower, both hands joined in a position of prayer while a stone flame sprouts between them, it generates a strange sense of serenity.
"So pretty…" Sakura says.
"It must have been made by a very famous sculptor," Syaoran echoes appreciatively.
"Wow," I can only repeat, at a loss of descriptive words.
Before any of us can react, Syaoran goes in a frenzy. "When was it made? Why was it made? Ashura is a god, isn't he? Is there some special reason…" he asks, running around the statue and observing it from every angle. He suddenly freezes, his eyes wide like a sheepish child, watching us watching him. I barely contain a laugh.
"So… sorry," he mumbles, going red again.
"Syaoran is very curious!" Mokona exclaims. Suzuran observes him curiously.
"You like the statue?" she inquires calmly, though I can see that she too is muffling laughter.
"Yes," the boy admits, still blushing. Mokona takes it as his duty to enlighten the circus master.
"Syaoran is very interested in things with archaeological value and holy things. He usually examines and investigates at the same time," the fur-ball recites.
"I also like this statue," Sakura says. "It's so pretty. It doesn't seem to be causing any bad luck at all." Suzuran smiles, pleased. The others eye me, clearly expecting me to say something, so I step forward and let my fingers linger against the stone. To my surprise, it isn't cold; rather, it sheds a warm wave.
"It's very beautiful," I say, carefully selecting my words. "It almost makes me feel… peaceful, in a way." And it does. Like a child coming back to a long-lost mother and finding out that she hasn't changed in all this time, that she never stopped waiting.
Waiting for a child that may never return.
My fist clenches as I refuse myself to make the parallel to my own life. No one is waiting for me.
"Syaoran, Sakura and Aisha, right?" Suzuran interrupts my thoughts. It's the first time I've heard her use our names. I don't even remember telling her.
"Yes," we answer in unison. She winks.
"Yuuka district is the kind of place that hosts our guests until the end, once we invite them in. So before you guys leave again to travel, this is your home. You guys can stay here with that fluffy white thing that talks," she says.
"Thank you very much!" we all answer as one, then laugh. As Sakura and Suzuran make their way to the door, giggling, Syaoran and I stay behind with the statue.
"Can Mokona sense the feather yet?" Syaoran asks, observing the statue. Mokona shakes its head.
"Not yet," he says, "but it's not very clear, so Mokona can't say no." Syaoran nods.
"There might or they might not be," he says. "And we haven't met up with Kurogane-san and Fai-san. Let's go look for them first."
"Wise planning," I agree, serving him a thumbs-up. Before we can make any more plans, however, Suzuran bursts back into the picture, hugging Sakura.
"Okay, I've decided!" she announces playfully. "Let's have a welcoming party!"
"Parrrrrrtyyyyyyyyy!" Mokona yells, and I block my ears. But then Suzuran stops, and connects her fist to her open hand as though just remembering something.
"Oh yeah!" she says, then looks at Syaoran thoughtfully. "Before entering the Yuuka district, you must be prepared!"
"Huh?" both kids ask at the same time.
XxX
"I…I don't want to…"
"Oh, come on. You look adorable."
"But…but… I…"
"Don't worry, Syaoran-kun! I'm sure no one will judge!"
"Of course not. Worst possible scenario is that they eat him alive."
"Wh…! Huh? Eat…?"
"Ah, please! He'll do fine! I'm sure everyone will love him."
"That's actually a contributing factor to the worst possible scenario."
"I… can I just… not…?"
"No, you can't. We've put together this party for all of you, how do you think everyone will react if one of you doesn't show up?"
"Well, if you put it that way… can I leave?"
"Absolutely not! And Syaoran will be perfect!"
"You really look adorable, Syaoran-kun!"
"But… it's just… I…"
"Everyone will get impatient if we wait any longer! We have to get you in there!" Suzuran decides, heading for the doors. She slides them open loudly, bursting into the room beside us. With a nervous yelp, Syaoran jumps behind a screen. "Thank you for your hard work!" I hear her call over the rumours of conversation. The entire clan must be crammed in there. "Okay, okay!" she calms her excited artists. "A very rare moon night! Let's celebrate tonight's performance! Cheers!" Everyone lifts their cups and yell strange things, which leads me to believe half of the room is already drunk. Suzuran has to yell again to silence them. "This is also a welcoming party for our new guests, Syaoran, Aisha and Sakura! Okay, you three, please come in!" she says, turning to us. Behind his screen, Syaoran shakes his head manically, and turns a brighter shade of red than his sash. Sakura blushes as well, looking from Syaoran to the room of expectant eyes. I only sigh, amused. I know I shouldn't think that, but it is going to be so much fun watching all the girls drool over Syaoran…
"What are you doing, hiding like that?" Suzuran exclaims, scolding, as she grabs Syaoran's collar and forcefully drag him in full view of the girls in the room. Their squeals of delight echo across the room, and I smile satisfactorily.
"I told you they were going to eat you alive!" I sing, tugging on one of the boy's braids. Syaoran still seems too shocked to react. I can't help but take the joke a little further and pretend to observe him critically. "Hmmm… your skirt is crooked," I say, arranging it with a grin. He starts when he hears the word 'skirt', and then whimpers when he notices the army of adoring eyes locked on him.
"Yuuka district doesn't actually allow boys to enter," Suzuran explains, as though she hadn't already done so about a thousand times. "If they found out that someone other than a customer is a male, it might cause a scene. Although what happens on stage does not concern what happens off stage, when we are the Yuuka district I think it's better if you dress as a girl."
"Awwww! They're so cute!" the girls squeal. I really hope I'm not included in this.
"Think of it this way," I whisper to the others, "we match!" And then I slip away inconspicuously before the avalanche gets me.
"Kyya! What is this, what is this?"
"Oooh, I wanna touch!"
Even Mokona has jumped out of the way before the group of fangirls tackle Syaoran to the group.
"Syaoran is popular!" the fur-ball laughs, and I join in with Suzuran and Karen-Dayuu. Sakura seems to be debating whether to laugh or rescue the boy from the clutches of his captors, who will - at the very worst - hug him to death. I'm about to reassure her when the ground begins to shake.
XxX
I wake amidst heartbreaking groans. As I slowly lift my heavy body off the ground, stretching muscles that feel like lead, I notice that the sun is already strong and peering through the windows of the room. Dammit, I overslept. The moans and complaints around me become clearer as my ears get accustomed to the noise.
"Can someone get me sour plums?"
"Someone, kill me now…"
"Oh, the headache…"
"I'm never drinking again…"
I look around the room. Oh, great. Half of the clan is nursing a hangover. Even Suzuran is there, huddled in her corner, although since she's sleeping I can't decide if she'll be in the same state as her troupe. I hope not, because in my time here I haven't seen anything that remotely resembles coffee. And I'm not in the mood to deal with fifty hungover women. Then again, I guess if sour plums help…
I rub my eyes tiredly. I never saw the end of the party last night, passing out on a cushion before the sun started to pink the horizon. I do remember there was plenty of alcohol flowing, though I haven't touched a drop of it. Sakura and Mokona didn't have my restraint, because the last thing I can recall is them running across the room, meowing. I smile. Knowing her, she's probably already bouncing back and forth like a firecracker, helping everybody, whether they want it or not. It's true that work most not be missing, after that earthquake. It didn't last very long, but it probably managed to do some damage nonetheless. Most people were a little shaken when it finally calmed but no one has been harmed, and it didn't seem to be nearly enough to discourage these women from a party. Suzuran did have a hard time getting back into party-mode, however. Most of us took it as a strange occurrence, but she saw someone's hand in it; she claims it must have been the men from that strange shrine trying to destroy the statue of Ashura. I'm not sure what to think; is it simply paranoia, or can the priests of that shrine really cause such things? Whatever it is, it only took a few drinks and some urging from the girls to get Suzuran in a light mood again.
I make my way to the doors, stepping over the groaning bodies and trying not to trip over anyone. Although I do think they deserve it a little, drunk as they were. When I open the curtains to let the sun flood in, I am met with a concert of complaints and exclamations; I ignore them and step outside, stretching. I feel like I've shed one hundred pounds during the night, and my mind is clearer than it has been in a while now. All my self-doubts and fears have been pushed to the back of my mind, allowing me to focus on the present until I find a solution. Even though, now that I think about it, my joy last night wasn't as contrived as I had made myself to believe. I had slipped, countless times. But I don't really care; compared to our dramatic exit from Outo Country, little bouts of laughter and teasing seem childish. Maybe that's the way I should see it: as long as we don't get too close, we can be on friendly terms. How was it that Fai put it? I know it's not easy for us to be together like this. But you can enjoy this journey. You can smile. You can be happy. No one will blame you for that. I guess the hard thing isn't to convince yourself that no one will blame you to be happy; you have to learn not to blame yourself. I shake my head. When did I become philosophical? But my smile doesn't fade. Maybe I should try to enjoy myself a little on this journey. After all, I was doing a good enough job here and there…
"Y-y-y-y-you think my outfit is weird, don't you?" I find Syaoran and Sakura sweeping a storefront, talking. Syaoran is slumped hopelessly over his broomstick, red in the face. His girl clothes and long braided wig had made him hard to recognize at first, but the lost expression he's been wearing ever since Suzuran has forced him into a girl's costume doesn't lie.
"I'd like to change out of it, but Suzuran-san would…" the boy tries to explain to Sakura, who only smiles reassuringly.
"No, I think it's really nice," she replies. Mokona is sleeping, oblivious, on her head. Suddenly prey to a wave of energy, the princess begins her pep talk. "I mean it!" she exclaims passionately, "I think it's extremely cute and it suits you! Relax! The only people who are going to see you are women anyway! And besides, no one could ever guess that you're a guy!" Syaoran flinches after every comment, which seems to have the opposite desired effect.
"Sakura, you aren't helping at all!" Mokona says, then falls straight back to sleep. I laugh, approaching them.
"I'm going to have to agree with Mokona," I say. "I really don't think you're helping his ego." They both light up with smiles when they see me.
"Good morning, Aisha!" Sakura calls.
"Have you slept well?" Syaoran enquires. I shrug.
"Yeah, although I could have had a better wake. How about you two? Not too hungover?"
"Nope!" Sakura exclaims, beaming. Syaoran's gaze drops, as he surely recalls his wild chases after the drunken princess last night.
"Were you alright last night? You fell asleep pretty fast…"
"Fatigue, that's all. I wouldn't drink if my life depended on it. So no, if you're wondering, I didn't pass out," I assure him.
"You just crashed!" Sakura exclaims, punching the air, proudly using the new word in her vocabulary. I chuckle and nod. She suddenly seems to remember something she left unadressed and turns to Syaoran.
"I'm sorry," she says, blushing, "about the comments…"
"N-no, it doesn't matter," he assures her, becoming red as well. "The important thing is that you didn't get hurt in the earthquake."
"I really am okay," she replies. "There were earthquakes in Clow Country before. Before we came to Shara… in the country with the tornado… the memory from that feather… I could see the ruins in the desert from the city. Those ruins would be shrouded in sandstorms for most of the year, and sometimes there would be earthquakes."
"It was as though the ruins wanted to fly away from that desert," Syaoran continues, eyes lost in the distance.
"Heh?" Sakura asks, and Syaoran seems to recognize his mistake.
"I saw Clow Country before," he says, looking away, "once upon a time…"
"Really? Where did you go?" Sakura asks, visibly oblivious to his trouble. "Is it someplace I remember?" I see the boy smile painfully, and look to the ground. Even if he tells her, she won't remember him. She might fall unconscious again.
"Excellent! Excellent! Leave it to the youngsters!" Mokona yells suddenly, making us all jump. He then flops back on Sakura's head, fast asleep. We eye each other, puzzled.
"Sleep talk?" Sakura asks.
"Seems like it," Syaoran answers. I shake my head hopelessly.
"We have got to love him," I mutter, "because I swear, sometimes…"
"Hey!" Suzuran calls from behind me, emerging from the house. "Did you get up early so you could clean up outside? You are such hardworking children!" I look down at my empty hands. Okay, so I'm not helping around yet, but I just woke up too.
"Good morning, Suzuran-san!" the kids say in unison. I wave.
"Mornin'," she answers, shooting a glance inside to the concert of groans and head-holding. She shakes her head. "They couldn't handle the wine," she explains. "I wish they could drink like you…" She passes an arm around Sakura and continues in a conspiring tone, "But yesterday was very interesting, wasn't it Sakura?"
"Eh?"
"You and that white thing were dashing around meowing like cats, and Syaoran was going nuts chasing after you."
"And I was sleeping in my corner!" I add, not wanting to be ignored.
"Hummm… Suzuran-san, are you alright?" Syaoran asks the energetic circus master. She looks at him with innocent eyes.
"Karen-Dayuu and I just don't get drunk, even if we drink all night," she says. "But, Syaoran and Aisha didn't drink at all."
"Before, when we drank in another country, we had some trouble," Syaoran admits sheepishly. I nod.
"Oh, you got that right. Although you're not the one who had to endure it," I chip in, my eyes shooting lighting to nothing in particular. "I had the ill-luck of being sober." Syaoran laughs sheepishly. A scream abruptly rips us from our conversation, and we all jump.
"I told you! It's all because of that Ashura statue you've got in there!" I hear a masculine voice bellow before turning to see a unit of several identically-dressed men standing in the street, wielding sticks as weapons and threatening the women around them with hateful glares. A little girl is scrambling to regain her footing after being visibly rammed into by the leading man, while her mirror image is standing her ground in front of the group with a determination impressive for someone of her size. With a jolt, I recognize the two girls always streaming behind Karen-Dayuu.
"No it's not!" the one defending her sister protests, her tiny hands balled into fists.
"We're not wrong!" one of the men replies harshly, looking down at the girls with undisguised disgust.
"What about the earthquake yesterday? We never had earthquakes in this area until your people came to Yuuka district!" their leader adds, sure of himself. With a determined glare, I jump over a spilled bucket of water and interpose myself between the two girls and the raging squad of whom I can only assume are monks from the infamous shrine.
"Whatever you have against a god, doesn't give you the right to barge in here and hit children!" I exclaim, furious. I refuse to break eye contact with the leader, even as he glares back with as much ferocity. Nothing justifies hurting children to me. Nothing, whether it be a couple of shots or a rival god.
Behind me, a group of women advance to back me up, as the little girl gets up, helped by her sibling. "Why are you blaming our god, Ashura?" one of them asks determinedly.
"Every time something bad happens, you just blame it on us!" another adds.
"Yeah!" the others agree, booing at the men, who seem frustrated at this resistance. One of them screams in rage.
"Shut up! Damn woman!" he yells, lifting his stick to strike. I push the others back, shielding them, but refusing to back down. Suddenly, Suzuran appears in my vision, facing us and blocking the blow with the sheath of her sword. I can hear the impact echo through the street and nearly cringe, thinking it could have been me absorbing the shock. But it's better than to have anyone else hurt.
"Don't you dare touch my girls!" Suzuran yells, fuming, turning back to face the men.
"Kya--! Owner!" the girls exclaim lovingly at their boss's fury. I regain my balance and look up, bewildered. The whole thing happened so fast I barely had the time to register what was happening, and now I'm a bit dizzy. Karen-Dayuu's girls are clinging to my arms worriedly, looking over them to the argument in front of us.
"Mind your own business!" the man is now telling Suzuran. A vein pops near the woman's temple.
"THIS SURE AS HELL IS MY BUSINESS!" she screams, kicking the man back so hard he falls against his companions. Body fuming in rage, she stands squarely in front of the men who tower above her. Her pose radiates fearlessness.
"All the girls living in the Yuuka district are in my troupe!" she proclaims. "If you hurt a hair on their heads, it will be over my dead body!"
"Yeah! Suzuran!" the crowd cheers, and I silently encourage her on. The monks seem taken aback by her retaliation, and most of them stumble away a few steps. But one of them regains his spirits and lashes at Suzuran.
"If your troupe worships Ashura, who has been causing all these disturbances, then you must be hiding a dark secret!" he yells. Others chip in.
"You dare treat that statue of Ashura like a god?"
"What are you hiding? What are your true intentions?"
"Souseki-sama should have kicked you out long ago!" At those words, the previously unflappable Suzuran stiffens, her muscles locking in what seems to be shock. I don't know who this Souseki-sama is, but I bet she knows him. Taking advantage of her moment of inattention, the men plunge on her, sticks raised.
"Look out!" I warn, shedding the two girls still clinging to me and dashing for Suzuran, who is fighting off the hits as best as she can. Syaoran bests me, however, by grabbing the overturned bucket and jumping in the middle of the group of monks. Using the bucket as a base, he lands in a handstand and spins, sending the monks flying with a perfect sweeping kick. I stop in my tracks, amazed. Picking themselves up the floor, the monks begin to stagger away, bruised and confused.
"You just watch! We won't forget this!" one of them calls to us, and I stick my tongue out at him.
"I am so scared!" I exclaim sarcastically, glaring at them.
"And don't you come back!"
"Yeah! Go and run for your lives!" the women of the clan call, cracking their knuckles dramatically and wallowing in victory. I turn to Syaoran.
"Okay, that was officially amazing," I say, pouting slightly. "I'm jealous." The boy smiles slightly.
"It was nothing," he says. I only smile and step sideways. Puzzled, he looks at me and cocks his head to the side.
"Why did you-"
"Kyya! That was great!"
"Syaoran is so strong!"
"Hug! Hug!" The boy yelps as he is once again tackled to the ground by a group of hyperactive girls, sending me pleading glances as I watch from my vantage point above them and laugh. If I had stayed where I was before, I would have been caught directly in the tide.
"Thank you, Syaoran!" Suzuran thanks him warmly. "Hey, how would you like to perform on stage for the show?"
"Eh?!"
"That's a great idea-" the girls answer for him, trapping him in a multiple-party head-lock.
"What do I need to do?" Syaoran asks, his voice betraying his panic as he tries to free himself. Suzuran laughs.
"Don't worry, I'll teach you!" she reassures him. But slowly, her laughter fades to make way for an expression of intense sadness. I frown and exchange a glance with Sakura, who is also watching the circus master with growing concern. I wonder if this has anything to do with that Souseki-sama the men have mentioned… My thoughts are interrupted by the arrival of Karen-Dayuu, once again framed by her girls. I smile at them, and they smile back timidly.
"I can see things are back to normal," Karen-Dayuu smiles at the sight of Syaoran struggling with his fans. I nod.
"Pretty much," I admit. Suzuran seems to light up at the sound of the other woman's voice.
"Karen-Dayuu! How are you? We both drank a pretty substantial amount last night, didn't we?" It's painful to watch her try so hard to erase the sadness from her features. I look at Sakura.
"So, how about we try to rescue Syaoran-kun?" I suggest. She answers only with a small smile, which makes me think that maybe those are getting harder and harder to come by, these days.
XxX
"So, what do you want to start with?" Suzuran asks as she shows us an impressive array of odd-looking circus gear. "The trapeze? Or the rope?" Syaoran's eyes go wide as he takes in all the equipment.
"Huh… I'm going to… that?"
"Yup," Suzuran answers, waving her hand in the air as though it's no big deal. "You'll be great."
"Bu… but… I've never done anything like this before," he protests. I pat his head and tug on his braided wig.
"No, Syaoran-kun never did anything like this before," I correct. "But now that Syaoran-chan has spread her wings, I'm sure she'll become an expert at this."
"I'm not a girl!" he says, turning red and shaking his head. Sakura smiles.
"It's alright," she says, looking excitedly at the paraphernalia. "I can't wait to start!"
"Ah! Hime, it's very dangerous…"
"Not at all," Suzuran laughs. "I can get any of my girls to make a demonstration, if you're nervous."
"I'm fine," I answer, eyeing a rope stretching tightly from one pole to another, joining both sides of the circus tent. "I want to try that." Suzuran follows my gaze and smiles.
"Have you ever done anything like that?"
"Nope."
"Here, take this," she says, digging into a pile of heteroclite objects and pulling out what appears to be an umbrella. "To help keep your balance," she explains. I take it, opening it carefully.
"It's pretty," I comment.
"Isn't it? We haven't used it in the show for a while," Suzuran says. I grin.
"It's ironic, however," I notice, "if I fall." Suzuran smiles and waves me off.
"Yeah, yeah. Which you won't. Now hurry and get yourself up there, so you can show us what you can do."
"Alright!" I say, heading for the ladder mounting up the side of one of the wooden poles.
"Ah! Aisha-san, that's very high…" Syaoran protests.
"Really, Syaoran-kun, do you have that little faith in me?" I reply, hopelessly shaking my head and sighing. He doesn't have the time to reply before I'm already climbing, the sunshade securely between my teeth. When I reach the top, looking down at the ground below and the tiny shapes of Syaoran, Sakura and Suzuran, a strange push of adrenaline overcomes me. I look once more at the delicately stylized butterfly painted on the sunshade, chuckle, and carefully step onto the rope. The first steps are trembling and unsure, like a child learning to walk all over again. Tight as it may be, the rope shakes and heaves like an angry sea, fighting against my weight. My foot slips once, and I hear Sakura scream; but I quickly regain my balance and keep my eyes fixed on the other end of the rope. I can do this, no sweat. The next step is like slipping into someone else's skin; suddenly, the adrenaline makes way to a strange familiarity. The rope is no longer an enemy to be tamed, but an old friend. I dance with it, feeling it move one way and leaning the same, anticipating its every movement like in a delicate waltz. I hold the sunshade across my torso for balance, but soon find it artifice more than necessity. My legs carry me effortlessly to the middle of the rope, where I pose playfully on one leg. I can't quite discern the others' expressions, but Syaoran exclaims something that sounds strangely like "be careful." I smile teasingly and send them all a peace sign. I nearly soar through the rest of the journey, and slide down the ladder with ease. I observe the butterfly sunshade more carefully.
"Okay, so maybe it's not so ironic that she pulled you out of there," I tell it with a grin. I skip towards the others, only to see them look at me with wide eyes and smiles. Suzuran crosses her arms and observes me critically.
"You, little lady," she tells me, "are a liar." But her eyes sparkle with mischief. "I don't believe you if you keep telling me, after that, that you've never done this before." I lift both hands.
"I swear, I never did," I say, laughing. "But I loved it." Sakura jumps up and down, clapping in excitement.
"Oh, can I start now? I can't wait to walk on there too…"
"No! Hime, it's dangerous, you could hurt yourself…"
"Don't worry," Suzuran reassures the princess, pretending Syaoran can't hear her, "we'll get you up there when he's not looking."
"He-hey, that's not what I-" the boy protests. I laugh.
"Just give it up," I say, patting his shoulder. "Just give it up…"
XxX
The spotlight falls on Syaoran, outlining his silhouette with golden light. I stand at the bottom of the pole, watching carefully. His handstand is perfect.
"Excellent! Now try a spin!" Suzuran orders. Pushing himself off the platform with his arms alone, Syaoran flips gracefully in the air as he plummets to the ground. He lands with a small thump and jumps to his feet, just in time to catch the two flower baskets that were previously resting on his feet and had fallen with him. Their content spews all around him in a beautiful shower of blooms.
"That was great, Syaoran!" Suzuran exclaims, proud of her student. The entire ring bursts with applause, and I follow them gleefully, balancing the sleeping Mokona in the crook of my arm. "We can definitely have you in the performance tonight!"
"Hey!" I protest, but just for the fun of it.
"Yeah, yeah, you too," Suzuran waves me off with a smile. "As if you didn't know that already." And she goes on looking ravenously at Syaoran. "We're talking about Syaoran, here." The boy shakes his head frenetically, once again seeming embarrassed at all the attention.
"B-but! I've never performed in front of an audience before!" he offers as an excuse. Suzuran turns behind her, where Sakura is carefully balancing on a rope fifteen feet into the air above an adoring crowd.
"Look, Sakura's doing it, no sweat," she tells him matter-of-factly, while his face melts in an expression of panic.
"HIME!!!"
"Ah, please. She's doing fine, you'll bruise her confidence," I say. "Relax." Sakura sends us a sideways glance and smiles, before turning all her attention to the rope in front of her. "See? She's great," I conclude as she reaches the end of the rope and climbs down the ladder. I continue, in fake modesty, "Of course, she's not as good as I am, but it'll come."
"No, you're just a freak of nature," Suzuran replies teasingly. "I've never seen anyone strike a pose on their first try." I pretend to feel offended.
"Gasp! Do you see how she treats me, Syaoran-kun?" I say, but the boy has already rushed to check on his princess. I can't help but smile tenderly as he flies around her nervously and she reassures him with a smile. "They're adorable, aren't they?" It takes me a few seconds to realize I've spoken my thoughts aloud, and I grimace.
"Absolutely adorable," Suzuran agrees. "Kids like that don't belong where they are." To my puzzled glance, she continues. "I mean that they should be at home, with Mommy and Daddy, instead of traveling like they are, alone. No offense to you," she adds quickly, "I'm sure you're taking good care of them and all, but…"
"Yeah," I sigh. "I know. Being left on your own sure makes you grow up fast, doesn't it?" I shake my head hopelessly. "But Syaoran won't give up. Never. So the best you can do is just make sure he stays out of trouble, you know?" Suzuran shoots me a sideways glance, and frowns lightly.
"Why are you traveling, if I can ask?" she says, and I grimace again.
"It's… complicated, to say the least," I admit. "But we're all looking for something, I guess that's the best way to put it. Not all the same thing, but the fastest way to get all of them is to travel together." I look away, lost in my thoughts. Why am I traveling? Just to get home, or… I look again at Sakura and Syaoran and smile. I guess I've started to follow them to find the feathers too, because I care. And I guess that's why this is getting so complicated. Suzuran observes me carefully, seems to decide this conversation isn't worth continuing, and gently but forcefully takes Mokona in her own arms.
"Up, on there," she orders, looking at the rope. "Practice. We need to figure out exactly what your routine is for tonight." I offer her a military salute.
"Ma'm, yes Ma'm," I say with a smile, before dashing for the ladder, forgetting all my worries. Now is not the time for them. Even Suzuran can see that.
XxX
"Well, I must say that was well done," Karen-Dayuu admits appreciatively, clapping, as I slide down the ladder after the training session with Suzuran. She had me practically doing cartwheels on the thin line before deciding on the exact routine I am to perform tonight. I offer the woman a tired smile.
"Thanks," I say. "Hi, girls." The two clones smile timidly, but don't say a word.
"They're pretty shy around strangers," Karen-Dayuu explains, holding out a hand to each of them, "although they've been talking about you an awful lot since this morning." I perk up.
"Really? About me?"
"Yes, they were quite impressed with how you defied the men from the shrine. I must say that, after hearing about it, I am too," she says with a smile, and I feel myself blush slightly. I wave my hand in front of my face, passing it off as heat and breathlessness.
"It was nothing," I protest, shaking my head. "Really. I've done worst."
"Not for people you didn't know, I'll bet," she replies, and I shrug to hide my trouble.
"Okay, so maybe not for people I didn't know. But still, it was nothing. And besides, Syaoran's the one who scared them off," I say.
"Such modesty," Karen-Dayuu teases.
"It's true! All I did was yell at them, and then nearly get my head smashed in by a stick. Not very heroic," I reply, but all she does is smile. Beside her, one of the girls' face is contorted in what seems to be anger. Finally, she explodes.
"I think what you did was very brave!" she yells loudly, startling me. "And even if you didn't fight the men, you were ready to take a blow for us and I think that takes more courage than to just hit someone! If you keep saying that what you do is nothing, then that's not giving yourself justice! And I'm very grateful for what you did this morning, and I want to be strong like that one day too so that I don't have to be afraid to stand up to anybody!" The entire room freezes during her tirade, and everyone turns to face us. I start laughing before the voice that seems too big for this body stops; the girl's face is flushed with emotion, but I can't seem to stop myself. I had the funniest flashback while she was scolding me.
"Wherever I go," I laugh, "I just can't get rid of her, can I? I think I'll be calling you Hinata from now on," I inform the little girl, extending a hand to ruffle her hair. She smiles, certain I have just complimented her.
"And me?" her sister asks, vying for attention. I playfully tip her nose.
"You can just be Hina," I say, and she giggles. Karen-Dayuu cocks her head to the side and observes us curiously.
"Hinata?" she asks. I nod.
"My little sister. She used to scold me like that." I must have shown some wistfulness in my smile, because both girls grab my hands and squeeze. Looking down, I can see that both are looking up to me with kindly eyes.
"So you have siblings?" Karen-Dayuu asks me with a smile.
"Yeah. Twins. Hisho and Hinata."
"Ah. And where are they now?"
My throat tightens. "At home," is all I manage.
"With your parents?" she asks again, and I wish I would ask her to stop. But the answers keep pouring out of my mouth.
"My mother."
"Why do I feel like that's not a good thing?"
"Oh? Nothing. It's complicated."
"Are they far away from here?"
"Yes." My voice croaks almost imperceptibly, and her eyes melt into a gentle kindness as she continues.
"How long has it been?"
"A few weeks."
"How much longer?"
I swallow hard. "I don't know," I admit, looking down. The other Hinata squeezes my hand reassuringly. Karen-Dayuu smiles.
"Do you miss them?" she asks. I nod.
"Of course! But it's complicated," I say, trying to push the subject out of the conversation. "Some party last night, huh? I heard you drank a hell of a lot."
"And you drank nothing at all," she replies without blinking. "Why not?" I free one of my hands and rub the back of my neck thoughtfully.
"I just don't drink," I answer. "Gets you in a heap of trouble. And what's with the interrogation? You'd think I was wanted for murder or something." Karen-Dayuu chuckles.
"I'm simply curious. You three seem like pretty interesting people, and yet we know barely nothing about you."
"Five," I correct her without thinking, before remembering that we're short of two. I grimace, kicking the floor uneasily. "Right…"
"No luck finding information on your missing companion, then?" she inquires. I shake my head and sigh. She smiles reassuringly. "We get all sorts of people here when we perform. I'm sure someone will come that has seen them, or heard of them, if they don't show up themselves." I find myself laughing at the idea of Kurogane and Fai strolling through the bright lights of Yuuka district at night.
"They won't show up," I snicker, shaking my head. "Kuro-sama's never been one for… well, any kind of entertainment, actually."
"Well, maybe we'll find someone who can tell us where they are," 'Hina' suggests.
"This is the best place in the area to be, if you want to find information," Karen-Dayuu agrees. I nod.
"Thanks," I say. "I'll keep an eye out." Karen-Dayuu smiles.
"I really hope you find them," she says, although I can't tell who she means.
XxX
I glare at my reflection as expert hands grab locks of my hair to flip them this way and that in complicated loops. The girl looking back at me is nearly a stranger; only the two dark eyes dancing in the light of the lanterns seem familiar.
"I thought I said something about light makeup?" I say annoyingly at the reflections of the hands whose fault it is.
"Oh, but you can't possibly walk out there without any makeup! That would be horrible! Can you imagine that?" one of them asks another pair of hands.
"Gasp! Ashura forbid, you simply can't!"
"But does it have to be this heavy?" The hands' movements become faster and less gentle, as though irritated at my ignorance.
"You look beautiful, lady," one of them assures me, patting a lock in place. I pout with my ruby-red lips, my delicately drawn eyebrows rising skeptically. I look like a porcelain doll, that at least it certain. The makeup is all in angles and contrasts, pale golds against vibrant reds. My eyes are circled with a thick layer of cole black - which I've been ordered not to smudge under any circumstances, lest I want to be killed by the same hands that have applied it.
"Oh!" One pair of hands claps in delight. "Can you hear them? They're coming, they're coming! Yay to another successful show!" I try to slow my breathing as the sound of the audience slowly filing in the rows reaches our ears. I know the show itself won't start until another twenty minutes, but my body tenses in anticipation.
"Are you nervous?" a hand asks, patting my shoulder. "Don't worry, you'll be perfect. They'll love you." The two hands come to frame my face, lifting my chin up proudly, and the head attached to them peeks into the mirror. She smiles and gently turns my head to the side. "See? Beautiful. They'll absolutely adore you, I promise." I force a shy smile, trying to ignore my pounding heart.
"Why are you still chit-chatting?" Suzuran's voice pierces the hustle and bustle. "We have paying customers in here, in case that escapes your notice. Get moving! Chop-chop!"
XxX
I twirl the butterfly sunshade between my fingers, the way Suzuran has shown me, and throw it in the air only to catch it again. Another few steps… and I stop. The crowd oohs and ahs at each of my moves. I crouch, extending one leg in front of me and holding my position for what seems like an eternity; slowly, I bring my extended leg back under me and jump, switching feet in midair. Someone screams in horror when it seems that I won't make it, but I land safely and pose, one hand extended in the air and my pointed foot resting against my knee. The crowd bursts in applause, some even standing in ovation. I walk to the end of the rope, breathless. I turn to face the crowd and bow deeply, the way Suzuran has shown me. The smile lighting my face must be visible for miles around. And, like Suzuran has shown me, I gracefully exit the stage while the thunder of applause follows me backstage. Surely they must hear the beating of my heart as clearly. I'm still smiling when I pass Sakura, on her way to the ring. She's holding Mokona's sleeping form and is shuffling nervously, biting her lip.
"They loved you," she says, over the acclamations as someone else enters and begins their number. I smile brightly, taking Mokona from her hands.
"They'll adore you," I assure her, as Suzuran calls: "Sakura!"
"Coming! Wish me luck!" the princess says as she rushes to take her place.
"Good luck," I wish her.
"Be careful," Syaoran beckons. I turn around to face him, about to give him a lecture about encouraging self-confidence, when I notice the way he's sitting: hands balled into clammy fists, eyes locked to the floor, beads of sweat pearling off his brow. I nearly laugh.
"Are you nervous?" I ask teasingly, sitting beside him, then sigh contentedly. "Well, that sure gave me a rush." His fingers twitch almost imperceptibly. "You'll do great, trust me. They're not threatening at all; they'll just as soon applaud your failure as your success." His face is red, although I'm not sure if it's the nerves or the makeup giving him a rash.
"I'll… be fine," he utters through clenched teeth, and this time I laugh openly.
"You're adorable," I tell him, poking the giant coifs on his braided wig.
"Let's change his hairstyle!" a girl passing us by decides.
"Yeah! Yeah!"
"What about adding a deeper red?" Looking at the hue colouring the boy's face, I doubt that will be necessary. Suddenly, another thunder shakes the tent and Sakura bursts backstage, eyes sparkling. I applaud her as she walks by.
"See? They couldn't get enough of you," I tell her, and she blushes. I jump to avoid the wave of girls pouncing on Syaoran, and we both laugh as the boy struggles for air.
"Good luck, Syaoran-chan!" I call, as I follow Sakura to the back.
"That was amazing!" she exclaims, looking like she's still caught in the fantasy.
"Isn't it?" I reply, grinning.
"You did well!" Karen-Dayuu compliments us as we walk pass.
"Thank you!" Sakura says, approaching her. Karen-Dayuu smiles sweetly, seeing Mokona in my arms.
"And Mokona slept through it all," she says, chuckling. I nod. Mokona's been sleeping since last night; he's been impossible to wake up, try as I may.
"This morning was such a mess," Karen-Dayuu sighs, shaking her head. "With those men from the shrine attacking us… did anyone get hurt?" She eyes me especially, but we both shake our heads. 'Hinata' and 'Hina' are behind us, chatting. They haven't told me their real names yet, and it wouldn't have made a difference, as I still would have called them by their nicknames.
"But…" Sakura adds, looking worriedly over her shoulder to where Suzuran is enthusiastically giving out directions, "Suzuran-chan almost…"
"Don't worry for her," Karen-Dayuu says, shaking her head. "Suzuran-chan is very strong; but she keeps her desires hidden." She looks to her friend, her eyes suddenly sad. "If you want something, you must take it. Before it disappears," she breathes out softly.
"Karen-Dayuu…" Sakura begins worriedly. I've just had an epiphany.
"It's that Souseki-sama guy, right?" I ask, lowering my voice so Suzuran doesn't hear. Karen-Dayuu's eyes widen, taken aback by my quick inference. But unexpectedly, the ground begins to shake violently and someone falls against me with a yelp.
"Another earthquake?!" I hear someone exclaim through the racket. Everywhere around us, screams of surprise erupt as the entire district is shook down to its core.
"Sakura!" I yell, seeing her waver, and grab her arm to keep her up. But I don't answer her thankful gaze; my eyes have just spotted something odd about the little fur-ball in the crook of my arm: his eyes are open…
"Quick! Everyone out!" a voice calls, and I don't wait twice to rush out of the tent, trailing Sakura behind me. Frantically, my eyes scan the crowd; the feather has to be out here somewhere…
"The sky!" Syaoran yells in front of us, seeming bewildered. I glance over my shoulder, only to stop cold. As though a large blade had run right through it, the sky has parted to show us a mesmerizing spiral, almost like a maelstrom of light.
"There's a hole… in the sky…?" I say, too surprised to make any sense of my ideas. There's something horribly tempting about that break, almost like a voice calling me, urging me in. Before I can answer the call, however, Suzuran rushes past me, nearly knocking me over in her panic. Without thinking, I follow her, along with Sakura and Syaoran. We rush pass through the district, dodging crumbling rooftops and falling lanterns. Even this early in, I can tell this earthquake will be worst than last night's.
"The statue…" Suzuran pants, pushing her way to the small building we had first seen the statue. "I hope it didn't fall and break!" I fall back a little. She's so upset about a statue…? But then, the way the men from the shrine who keep ostracizing her and her troupe because of that very statue… despite her longing to be with this Souseki-sama, she holds on fast to her beliefs, probably because it is what separates her from him. Because if she cannot be with him, then she can remember him by the gape she chose to keep. And if the statue breaks, the shrine wins; whatever they have been fighting for during generations will have been for nothing. She can't be ready to accept that.
"Ashura-sama!" she yells, throwing the doors back, and the cry slowly fades and bubbles out of her lips. "Ashura-sama…" I stop, amazed for the second time in a few minutes. The statue of Ashura, artful masterpiece, is engulfed in flames so high they lick the ceiling without consuming it. Another shake sends us tripping, and we hear new exclamations of pain coming from the outside. I keep staring at the statue, spellbound more than afraid; the same voice as the one coming from the hole in the sky is calling from it.
Suzuran, on the other hand, seems distraught. "No! Ashura is our troupe's guardian god! It wouldn't bring any harm to us!" she exclaims, rushing to the statue and gripping it with both hands. The fire does not harm her. "Whatever is happening now… I'm sure it has nothing to do with the statue of Ashura!" Suzuran cries desperately, with the expression of someone being convinced more than convincing. But then she folds into herself, sobbing helplessly. "No… It can't be Ashura-sama's fault," she repeats. "It can't be… if it's true…" she gasps for air, "I'll never see him again…" I walk up behind her, tentatively putting a hand on her shoulder. It's okay, I want to say. Everything'll be fine. But of course, it won't be. So I remain silent.
"Suzuran-chan…" Sakura begins worriedly, as one of Suzuran's tears spills out of her eyes. As soon as it come in contact with the flaming stone of the statue, a veritable inferno rages. I back up with Suzuran, escaping the heat of the flames by reflex, although we know it will not burn. When the eye suddenly opens on Ashura's forehead, however, I buck; the voice calling me, so soothing at first, has now made way to an unfathomable source of power, a heartbeat so strong it overwhelms me. An entire new dimension is pouring in from that crack in the sky and with it, a strong omen of dread. Cold creeps through me, pushing its way through the warmth of the fire. The thing behind that portal, overflowing from that world to this one, is nothing less than the darkest, most obscure force I have ever felt, and my entire body fights against it. And suddenly, I realize that, although I had first thought the force was calling me, bringing me towards it… it was the one coming to me.
"No!" I shout, as though shocked, and back away from the room. Looking now in the bright red eye staring at me from cold stone, I recognize what I am sensing, what is coming this way; I have never felt it, but anyone would know. Anyone could feel it.
Death.
I run out just as a beam of light shoots out from the Ashura statue, and the ceiling of the small building crumbles. In the chaos of the street, any hope I had that by leaving the statue my feeling of dread would ease is crushed, because the hole is still there, burning bright in the dark sky. The beam of light reaches it, somehow upsetting its smooth surface. Far away, to the east, another beacon shines just as bright. When they both reach the hole, the previous kaleidoscope fades away to show a moon, out of place in this foreign sky. I realize with some alarm that I'm shaking uncontrollably, scorching with fear. In my arms, Mokona starts gracefully gliding towards it. Before I can react he is out of my reach, two wings extended on each side of him. I wait for the magic to show itself in my awareness, but nothing remains but the aura of death this moon holds.
"What's wrong, Mokona?" I hear Syaoran call over the heavy rumble of the earth. Mokona's voice is monotone, as though he was still asleep.
"There are no feathers in this world… but in that world… that is where the feathers are…" the fur-ball explains dreamily. I jerk away. He's bringing us to the very center of it!
"No!" I yell again, rushing to the others in the room. It doesn't matter that the eye is still there, shooting us its eerie warning. I have to tell them, we have to find a way to stop this…
I can feel my body disappearing before I reach them. I try to fight it, but there's no use. Before I can scream a warning, I'm being sucked into Mokona, preceded by two oddly familiar shapes. The dark force is penetrating me now, ripping me apart like a wolf with its prey. I want to scream, but of course I can't. I try to see the others but the darkness is total. I have the time to wonder who was it that entered Mokona before me, why they were so familiar. Abruptly, the death force recedes and I can take a breath before plummeting head first into the very world I was so keen on escaping. A whimper escapes my lips as I roll in the dust, protecting my head as best as I can with my arms. I don't want to see where I've landed, but I lift my head up anyways.
The first thing I see in this new world is blood.