"There are moments of frustration in life. You must build good relations to support you in these moments.

You must also learn to courage yourself and decide to stay determined in life."

– Lailah Gifty Akita, Think Great: Be Great!

It was not until it was already dark when we reached the gate of Woodbury, luckily we didn't run into more walkers or even Merle or any of those guys. As usual, there were at least three men patrolling on the scaffold.

We hid behind a car as we tried to come up with a plan to get inside. We had spent a while there, thinking how we could get in when Michonne suddenly just walked away. I tried to call for her but she didn't listen, she just left.

"Damn it!" Rick exclaimed.

We all gathered closer, whispering to each other, sharing our ideas when we heard branches snapping. We all raised our weapons but it was just Michonne who signalled us to follow her. I was the first to do so, followed by Daryl, his left hand kept rubbing against my right one but I ignored it, I had other things to worry about.

I don't know how Michonne did it but she found a wall we could climb. Michonne climbed first, I was going to follow her when Daryl stopped me and climbed before me, I just rolled my eyes and went up the wall by my own even when Sean offered to help me, on the other side Daryl grabbed me by my waist and helped me get down. I knew he climbed first to help me get down and also because he didn't trust Michonne.

"Thanks but I can do it," I told him.

Daryl said nothing to me but I could tell he wanted to. I noticed we weren't out in the streets but inside a patio of a house. Cautiously, we all went inside the house, which was dark and luckily empty.

"This is where you were held?" Rick asked Michonne.

"I was questioned."
"Any idea where else they could be?"

Daryl kept walking to the front of the door, he moved the curtain a bit so he could look out and there were a few people outside.

"I thought you said there was a curfew," Daryl said to Michonne angrily.
"The street is packed during the day. Those are stragglers."
"If anyone comes in here, we're sitting ducks. We gotta move," Rick said.
"They could be in his apartment," Michonne told them.
"Yeah? What if they ain't?" Daryl rudely exclaimed.

"Then we'll look somewhere else," I told him, trying to stop the argument.
"You said you could help us," Rick said to her.
"I'm doing what I can!" Michonne said.
"Then where in the hell are they?" Oscar asked.

I was going to tell them that we had some ideas where they could be but couldn't be sure if they were actually there when Rick called Oscar, Sean and Daryl, leaving me with Michonne. I knew they didn't trust her and that they were talking about her but they knew me, they trusted me, why can't they trust someone I trust?

While they were whispering a few feet away from us, there was a knock on the door. I froze in my place but luckily Michonne pulled me with her and all of us hid behind a wall just in time.

"I know you're in here," a man exclaimed as he stepped inside. "I saw you moving from outside. You're not supposed to be in here and you know it. Who's in here?"

As he walked right in front of us, Rick ambushed him, pinned him against the wall and pointed at him with a gun.
"Get on your knees." he exclaimed. "Hands behind your back. Zip tie him," he said to Daryl. "Where are our people?"

"I don't know."
"You are holding some of our people. Where the hell are they?" Rick asked the man as he grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

"I don't know!"

Then Rick put a piece of fabric inside the man's mouth and seconds later Daryl hit him in the head with his crossbow, he was out. It was then that I realized it was Chris' father. I actually felt bad for him but it was necessary.

Only a couple of seconds later we heard several shotguns and people screaming outside. We decided it was out chance, so the six of us walked of that place and into the streets with our guns raised.

We walked to where the gunshots were coming from, Rick on the lead, then me and then Daryl. We got to a very bad looking warehouse. It was dark, dirty and it was mostly made with plastic sidings. We hid behind a wall made by those and we could hear a man, I think it was Merle but I couldn't be sure.

"On your feet, move!" we heard another man saying. "Let's go, come on!"
"Shit!" some of us, including me exclaimed.

The six of us got our weapons ready again, Rick and Daryl got smoke grenades out of the bag and threw them, while we ran out. We heard many people screaming for a few seconds before Rick, Sean and Daryl walked back inside, while the rest of us stayed by the door to keep guard.
I looked behind me and saw them with Glenn and Maggie, I was happy to see them but Glenn looked really bad. As we walked through the street, with Rick helping Glenn to walk, we were extremely lucky we didn't bump into anyone. We found a place that seemed empty and ran inside. Glenn fell as soon as we stepped in and Maggie knelt next to him, followed by me.

"Glenn, oh my God, what did they do to you?"

"I thought I saw you but I assumed I was beaten so bad that I was just seeing things," he muttered. "I'm still not sure, though."

"No, I'm back Glenn," I said smiling.

"Ain't no way out back here!" I heard Rick saying. Damn, we are trapped.
"Rick, how did you find us?" Maggie asked.

"How bad are you hurt?" Rick asked Glenn, ignoring Maggie's question.

"I'll be all right."
"Where's that woman?" Maggie asked and it was then that I realized Michonne was gone.

"She was right behind us," I said.

I wondered if she was shot and injured or she was just being herself and ran somewhere else, probably to get to the Governor or to Andrea.
"Want me to go look for her?" Oscar asked Rick.

"No. We gotta get them out of here. She's on her own!"
"Daryl!" Glenn exclaimed, earning everyone's attention. "This was Merle. It was. He did this."

I closed my eyes tightly as I felt chills going up and down my spine. I knew it wasn't fair to keep it from Daryl but I knew I had to keep him safe. He wouldn't be objective with that kind of information.
"You saw him?" Daryl asked Glenn.

"Face to face. He threw a walker at me."

"He did what?" I asked in disbelief.
"He was going to execute us!"
"S-So my brother's this governor?"

"No, it's somebody else," Maggie said. "Your brother's his lieutenant or something."

Daryl looked from Maggie and Glenn to me very quickly, and he didn't look happy at all. He grabbed my arm and pulled me up quite forcefully.

"You knew about this?" he almost shouted at me. He looked right into my eyes and his were now almost black and showed nothing kind in them, I was truly scared."You said you had been here! That woman said the same person that took them was the one that shot her! Did you know Cecilia?"

"Yeah," I chocked out, not being able to lie to him.

"You fucking did? And you didn't tell me? What the hell Cecilia? He's my brother and you know how much he means to me, how could you hide this from me?" he asked me in, he lowered his voice but he wasn't more calm, I could actually sense the disappointment in his voice and his eyes, it almost broke me.

"I didn't want to keep it from you, alright?" I said, raising my voice a bit. "I – I... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"It isn't her fault," Rick said, making Daryl let go of me. "She told me and I thought it wasn't the right thing to tell you. I'm sorry. But I knew you could have made something stupid if we said anything. I told her not to tell you."

I stared at Rick in disbelief but also in a grateful way. Did he just lie to save my ass? We came to the conclusion to not tell Daryl but he never ordered me to not say anything. Daryl just scoffed and turned to look at Maggie and Glenn again.

"Does he know I'm still with you?"

"He does now," Glenn said. "Rick, I'm sorry. We told him where the prison was. We couldn't hold out."
"Don't!" Rick exclaimed as he knelt next to Glenn and patted his leg. "No need to apologize. Can you walk? We got a car a few miles out."
"I'm good," Glenn said even when he looked like shit. Rick and Sean helped Glenn up.
"Hey, if Merle's around, I need to see him!" Daryl exclaimed, and that's why I didn't want to tell him yet.
"Not now," Rick told him. We're in hostile territory."
"He's my brother! I ain't..."

"Look at what he did!" Rick exclaimed quickly. "Look, we gotta – we gotta get out of here now."
"Maybe I can talk to him. Maybe I can work something out."
"No, no. You're not thinking straight. Look, no matter what they say, they're hurt. Glenn can barely walk," Rick said, lowering his voice so Glenn and Maggie couldn't hear him. "How are we gonna make it out if we get overrun by walkers and this governor catches up to us? I need you. Are you with me?"

It took Daryl a few seconds to reply but he sadly nodded and muttered a 'yeah', to Rick. He nodded at Daryl and then we all gathered around to grab some weapons, more smoke grenades and we planned how to get out of here.

"On three. Stay tight," Rick told us. "One, two, three."

Rick opened the door and Daryl threw one of the smoke grenades first and then a second one. We walked out with our guns raised. We heard shotguns and saw the men on the scaffold shooting at us. I wasn't that good shooter when I run but I managed to shoot one of them but I couldn't hit the others. Luckily Rick shot one and Daryl shot the other.
"Behind you!" Daryl shouted as he pushed me out of the way and started to shoot. "Go! Go!"

"But Da..."

"Just fucking go, Cecilia!"

I saw Bowman, pointing his gun at me. I jumped out just in time. I rolled over and stood up quickly, running away and hiding behind a trash can. I raised my gun again, narrowed my eyes and shot. I don't know how but I hit one of the men in the arm, he fell hard from a roof, he probably died from the fall, I was going to shoot another one when I felt a hand on my arm, pulling me up with them.

"Let's go!" It was Sean.

"But Daryl! I have to help him!"

"We need to go!" Sean shouted as he didn't let go of me even when I kept struggling to break free.
Somehow we caught up with the group, people were shooting at us and there was smoke everywhere, it was a complete chaos. As we hid behind a wall, I noticed Daryl was with us. I felt so relieved he was alright. I was tempted to hug him but now wasn't the time.
"Any grenades left?" Rick asked, Daryl nodded as he looked inside the bag. "Get 'em ready. We gotta gun into the wall."
"You guys go ahead," Daryl told us. "I'm gonna lay down some cover fire."
"No, we gotta stay together!" Maggie shouted at him before I could.
"I'll be right behind you!" he said, glancing at me quickly before looking down and grabbing more ammo. "Ready?"

Before I could tell him how stupid his plan was he threw a grenade and I was pulled by the arm by Sean, I think.

"Move! Let's get out of here! Come on!" I heard people saying but I wasn't sure who was saying it, maybe Rick. "Keep going! This way!"

We got to the end of Woodbury where conveniently there were some buses. Oscar was the first to climb on the hood of the bus to help. He pulled Glenn up as Sean pushed him up. I climbed too, I was going to get over the fence first to help Glenn on the other side, and right when I landed on the other side I heard a gunshot and screams, someone was shot.

I felt like an eternity passed until Glenn finally moved and got his feet on the other side of the fence, I grabbed him by his feet while Sean grabbed him by his arm and together we got him on the ground, I put my arm around Glenn and helped him walked some feet away from there, we needed to hide while we waited for the others. Maggie was helped by Sean and then he jumped but not before calling for Rick. Rick also jumped, joining us.

We didn't go all the way back to our car, we just went right to the front of Woodbury, behind the car we hid earlier tonight. All I noticed on our way there was that Daryl nor Oscar were there, I wanted to go back but Rick told me we were all going back but that I needed to help Glenn now. I had gotten hysterical but Rick managed to calm me down a bit when he assured me Daryl wasn't the one getting shot, which made me a little bit calmed, but just a bit.

"Get down," Rick ordered.

"Come on, Daryl" Rick exclaimed and in that moment we heard a noise behind us. We turned around quickly, it could be a walker, Daryl or a person or more that wanted to kill us . But it wasn't any of those option, it was Michonne.

Rick stood up quickly, walked to her with his gun pointed at her. Michonne just crawled out of the unusable wagon that was behind us.
"Where the hell were you?" Rick whispered-shouted at her. "Put your hands up! Turn around!"
Michonne slowly turned around and when she did, Rick took her katana, never stopping pointing his gun at her. Michonne, still with her hands up in surrender, leant against the wagon, defenceless.
"Get what you came for?" Rick asked her as he finally dropped his hand to his side but Sean and Maggie were pointing their guns at her now.

"Where are the rest of your people?" Michonne asked instead.

"They got Oscar," Glenn said, who now was standing up.
"Daryl is missing," I told her at the verge of tears. "Didn't you see him?" She just shook her head.

"If anything happens to him..."

"I brought you here to save them," Michonne said, interrupting Rick.
"Thanks for the help." By his tone I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or not, his anger probably overshadowed the sarcasm.
"You'll need help to get them back to the prison or to go back in there for Daryl. Either way, you need me."

"Rick, please, she's right. We need her," I said to Rick, trying to help her. "Please, I trust her, Rick! I do!"

Rick took a deep breath and ran his hand through his curly hair, trying to decide what to do. I only looked sadly at Michonne and shook my head at her and giving her a look, kind of like silently scolding her. Where had she gone? Why did she just leave? We were in this together, weren't we? And now Daryl was gone and I had no idea if he was okay or injured, or captured, or just hidden or … or dead.

As I was thinking that, Rick grabbed me by my arm and pulled me away from the others. It was hurting me because my stitches were right there but I said nothing, I bit my lip and just looked back at Rick, wondering what he wanted to tell me, even when I had a clue what it was about. Finally Rick seemed to realize he was hurting me and let go of me and looked at me in a apologetic way, and then he put his hand on my left shoulder.

"You may trust her but I don't know her, Cecilia. I don't. And so far she hasn't done much to earn my trust, where the hell was she, Cici? She could have caused the death of more of us, do you realize that?" he whispered to me in an angry tone, I just nodded at him. "Daryl is missing, and she's right, I hate that she is right but I need her now and won't do anything to her but she has to help us, alright?"

"Yeah," I said nodding.

I walked to Michonne with a frown on my face. Rick and the others trusted me but they didn't trust Michonne and they didn't give a damn about her, if they thought she was a threat they would kill her without a second thought, just like they wanted to get rid of Randall all those months ago or how Rick killed Shane, they wouldn't even hesitate to do it.

"Michonne, you have to collaborate, alright?" I said to her. "If Rick says go right you do it, if he says stay put, you do it. If he says jump you fucking do it because they don't know you as I know you and they might think you are a threat to them and I don't want anything to happen to you, do you understand?"

Michonne said nothing to me, nothing, but she nodded, eventually. I knew she felt so powerless in this situation but she did that to her, she could have stayed with the group and things wouldn't be so complicated now.

By now, Rick ordered Sean, Maggie and Glenn to lower their guns. They hesitantly did it, Glenn sat down and leant his back against the car, Maggie sat next to him asking him how he was feeling and Sean just kept intensively staring at us, as Rick kept pacing, trying to think of something.

"The man that is missing," Michonne whispered to me. "He's the one that Andrea used to talk about, right? The one that she tried to make you confess your feelings for, right?"

"Does it matter?" I asked her sadly.

"It matters everything."

I said nothing for a while but I nodded. "Yeah, he's the one Andrea talked about the first months. I never thought I would see him again, I never thought you would get to meet him."

"I like him... when he's not trying to shoot an arrow to my head."

"What are you trying to say?"

"That I approve," she told me, I just looked confused at her.

"What?"

"I could see why Andrea wanted you to confess even when it is kind of obvious."

"The two of you are crazy," I whispered to her, looking around me, making sure none of them heard. "There's nothing to confess! And even if it were, right now is not the right time! He's in there and who knows in what condition he is. He might be alive because of Merle but who knows? If I like him or not, it doesn't matter now, all that matters is that we save him."

"And we will."

"And we will," I repeated.

Michonne put an arm on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. Whether I liked him or not, I cared about him so much and I was beyond worried about him. I wanted to do something, now! We were losing time.

"Alright, listen!" Rick said as he walked to us, and we all gathered around in a circle. "Glenn, you have to go to the car."

"Rick, I want to hel...!"

"No time to argue! You can barely walk! You will just slow us down, I'm sorry but it's true! You might get killed in there and we didn't come all the way here to lose you like that!" Rick told him sternly. "Okay?"

"Okay," Glenn muttered, not being happy with that.

"Cecilia, you will go with him to keep him safe," Rick told me.

"What?" I asked in disbelief. "You can't get me out of the mission like that!"

"You are injured!"

"Yeah, on the right arm, I'm a lefty, Rick! And if I remember correctly I shot just fine in there minutes ago and I hit two men! I'm good, I can run, I can shoot!" I exclaimed. "And you have to let me do this for Daryl! He risked his life for me all those months ago and he found me! I think it's just fair that I do the same for him now, you can't stop me from doing this!"

Rick just took a deep breath, he knew that no matter what he said I wasn't going to go with Glenn, I love Glenn and a lot but he didn't need me now. And I felt a strong need to do this for Daryl and for me, I wanted to help him in a similar way he helped me.

"Alright, you'll come with us but your friend has to take Glenn safely back to the car, she's injured as well and on the leg."

"Okay," Michonne said nodding.

"Sean, Cici, Maggie and I will go inside, climb a wall, maybe the same wall as earlier and go in."

It was not until then, until I spoke it aloud that it finally dawned on me. I had killed more than one hundred walkers, probably more than a thousand by now, who knows. Those, weren't people anymore, they were dead, and I admit it was hard the first time I killed one, it was hard the first time I killed one with a knife back in the woods when I got lost, it was hard the first time I had to kill a walker that couldn't be more than ten years old when he was alive. But I got over it and I kept killing more without any feeling or regret or remorse, I had to do it to survive, it was them or me.

And what I did tonight I did it to survive as well and I didn't give it to much thought about it until now. I didn't even realize what I did until this very moment. I was just so into what was happening that I just kept going but now that I said that I shot and most likely killed two men was almost painful to think and remember.

I was a killer, I was a murderer. Yeah, I did it so they couldn't kill me, you could say it was on self-defence but that didn't make it any better. That didn't change the fact that I pointed my gun at them, pulled the trigger and they were dead now.

I never thought of myself as a person who would actually kill someone, I thought I was unable to take someone's life but I did that.

And what worried me the most was that I after I did it, I felt nothing. No remorse, no guilt, no regret, not even shock, no nothing. I just wanted to keep going and if possible kill more to keep me and my friends safe. I didn't think of what I was doing, I just did it.

I knew the circumstances were hard and unpredictable and I had no choice but do it, for my life and theirs. I had to. But I couldn't help but realize that this world, this new reality was making us all different, it was making me cold in a way I never thought I would and it scared me. What if I got so cold I wouldn't be able to come back from that?

"Hey, you okay?" Glenn asked me, as he looked at me.

His face was a complete mess. He had a black eye and it was even closed from the beating he got, his lips were swollen and he kept spitting blood every once in a while. As I looked at him my blood boiled! He was innocent, why would Merle do something like this?

"I'm just worried," I told him.

"If he's alive, they won't beat him like they did to me, Merle won't let that happen to him."

"What if Merle doesn't have as much power as we think? What if they punish Daryl for breaking in and killing their people? Or just torture him for more information?"

"I'm almost sure they won't do that to him, not with Merle there."

"What if they get Merle out of the picture as well?"

After that we said nothing, I knew what kind of people they were and if Merle was in the way, the Governor would just get rid of him. I knew that.

"We have to hurry," I said a bit louder, so everyone could listen to me. "We're wasting time, come on!"

Michonne and Glenn walked away, Glenn had a gun raised and Michonne was ready to grab her sword at any moment. I was sure Glenn was scared of her but she wouldn't do anything to him, if he didn't do anything to her.

Sean, Maggie, Rick and I grabbed our weapons and headed to the side of the town, looking for a nice place where we could climb.

Daryl, hang on! I'm coming for you, I'm not giving up on you. I'm not.

Hello guys, what are you doing for Easter?

QOTD: What do you think of Cecilia so far?