Did you hear about Reid's date from hell?

Reid had a date? It was good he was putting himself out there more. Not so good that things hardly ever worked out for him.

Are you that bored that you're tracking the team now?

As Emily thought about Reid dating she realized that she wouldn't share a bad experience with the team. They didn't need any more ammo. Only logical conclusion was Garcia stalking him.

Ouch! That hurts!

It was for the case to catch those hitman so I can get my life back actually

Ah so not a date.

Ok so what happened?

Emily stretched and forced herself out of bed to get ready for work. Mark was gone on assignment for a few days and she would rather be in the office than her empty bed.

He pretended to be a skeezy pregnant wife hater and met this crazy at a restaurant.

She knew everything we tried.

About the wire, about back up at the bar, she took his gun

Then tried to bomb the place.

How did that plan get approved? She knew that Reid worked well under pressure and could handle himself. But the number of times that kid had been held captive in some form was staggering.

Is he ok?

If she thought Reid had bad luck with women his track record with operations falling apart was worse.

Yeah we all came out fine.

Well besides the Muppets JJ used as a coat for her disguise.

Emily had to read that last line a few times to make sense of it. She still wasn't sure she understood. She tried rubbing her eyes and drinking some coffee to see if that would help. It didn't.

WHAT? She had a Muppet coat? A coat of Mupperts?

Emily was starting to think that Garcia may be intoxicated. Muppets? She had to be missing something

Yeah, Muppets. I'll send you a picture.

Anyway this crazy was crazy good at reading men

She got Spence to reveal some private things about himself.

Also, you should call him up & chat. He could use it.

Well that wasn't cryptic at all. She knew Reid had just come back from visiting his mom but she had no details on the situation. Emily punched a note into her schedule to call Reid tomorrow.

Ok…

Emily thought about how much is sucks to be profiled by other people. Having your secrets exposed. At least when they do it it's to catch a bad guy and help someone else, not to use that information against them.

Anyway, Morgan & Tara were able to take out the partner & avoid a bombing

We got the murderess locked up & Miss Penelope can go sleep in her own BED!

Garcia was definitely drunk when she started referring to herself in the third person.

The why aren't you asleep?

It was almost midnight there, still a little early for Garcia, but a more than reasonable bedtime for everyone else.

I'm at Morgan's with Savannah celebrating.

Oh goodness. Emily hadn't meet her yet but from what everyone's told her, this woman put Morgan in his place and to took no shit from him. She must be great to handle extra-affectionate drunk Garcia.

Uhhuh. Just stay away from the wine and keep your clothes on silly girl.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Something told Emily that Garcia wouldn't remember most her night and would need help piecing things together.

I love you! You should come home!

There was so much happening to all of them, so many changes and challenges. The idea of a vacation was very appealing as Emily pulled out of her parking spot before the crack of dawn.

Love you too PG. Good night!

Emily rubbed her aching cheeks and thought about how much she loved that crazy woman.

AN: This was the one that started it all! I saw a tumblr post about JJ's ridiculous undercover outfit & immediately thought of what Garcia would think. I could imagine her telling Emily all about it. And this project was born!