Integra was sitting down with her head looking onto her lap, every now and then she would let out a snort of laughter, she tried to hold it in

Integra was sitting down with her head looking onto her lap, every now and then she would let out a snort of laughter, she tried to hold it in
Pip and Seras were staring in shock at the wall ahead of them
Alucard was staring into the corner of the room with the biggest grin on his face
Integra let out a snort
Sarah and Ella were sitting together on the couch
Sarah sighed softly and whispered to Ella "We're never going to live this one down are we"
Ella sighed "I'm afraid not"
Ella sat back and lit up a smoke
Seras opened her mouth, then closed it and shook her head
Ella got up and walked over to the sideboard, she poured herself a glass of brandy and sat down again,
She swirled the brandy around and took a sip
Integra rested her head against the desk and her shoulders started to shake with repressed laughter
Sarah sighed softly
Alucard looked up at the ceiling and his grin got wider
Ella thought back to what had started this strange mood everyone was in and sighed silently to herself
'No' she thought 'There really is no living this one down'

FLASHBACK

Ella and Sarah looked at each other, then looked back at the roof of the vent, it had already been four hours since Alucard 'found' them, he still wasn't back
Sarah sighed and looked at Ella
Ella looked back at her and sighed "Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1"
Sarah nodded "I think I am B2"
Ella smiled ruefully "He did tell us to stay put"
Sarah shrugged "I see no harm in doing the exact opposite"
Ella smiled "Touché"
Sarah laughed "You mean it, truly"
Ella nodded "Why not, lets explore this place"
The girls turned and started to crawl away

Ella looked down through one of the vents "I wonder what this room is"
Sarah came over "Is it the TV room"
Ella frowned "I don't think so"
Sarah muttered "Oh, lets go then"
Ella nodded

Sarah had taken over the lead and stopped suddenly "Wow"
Ella crawled over and looked down "Wow indeed"
They looked down into a room that was filled with guns and ammunition, everywhere they could see, weapons dominated
Ella let out a low whistle "We should have made a map"
Sarah nodded "I wouldn't mind playing in this room"
Ella grinned "I wonder what else we will find"

They stopped over a vent and looked down
Ella frowned "Just books"
Sarah looked over "Do you think they have any Dr Seuss"
Ella shrugged "I hope so, it takes a very complex mind to understand the intricate tale in the complete works of Hop on Pop"
Sarah nodded "I like the fish book"
"That too"

They looked into another vent and sighed, it was just dusty old furniture
The next vent was the same
And the next
And the next
Ella sighed "Maybe we should see about a different floor"

They got to the edge of a great drop and looked down
They looked at each other and shrugged
Down they went

The next vent revealed a medical looking room
Sarah whistled "I wonder what that does"
Ella muttered "How do they keep everything so shiny"
Sarah smiled "I love shiny stuff"
"Oh, look at that, I think that's the saw thingy they use to cut off you skull"
Sarah gasped "There's the thingy they use to hold open your ribcage so they can reach your organs"
"Look, it's the blood sucky outy thingy, oh I wish I had my camera"
Sarah patted her arm "Next time"

The next vent was filled with chemicals and looked like a lab
Sarah was practically drooling "Look a Bunsen burner, oh I loved the Bunsen burner in school"
Ella smiled "Fire is fun"
Sarah sighed "Look, its filled with all sorts of dangerous and potentially leather chemicals"
Ella smiled "I think you mean lethal love"
Sarah shrugged "Same diff"
"Lets move on"

Then they stopped and just stared
They were silent for about five minutes
Ella muttered "Um, well, wow, just, wow"
Sarah looked at her "What do you suppose"
Ella blinked "I have no idea"
They looked down again and just stared
Sarah frowned "What's that one for"
Ella cleared her throat "That my love, that is a chamber, like a mummy tomb thingy, that you place the person in and close the door"
She frowned "What does it do"
Ella nodded "Well it has spikes all in the inside so when you close the door the spikes stab the person"
"Ohh, what about that one"
"That is a machine that twists your arms and legs until they pop out of place and break"
"Wow, you sure know a lot about these things"
Ella shrugged "I like the Saw movies"
The were silent again
Ella finally muttered "Lets go"
Sarah looked at her "K, but Ella, why do they have a torture chamber"
"I don't know honey"

The next vent was strange to say the least
"Shiny, pretty"
"Very shiny, very pretty"
It was a room filled with mirrors, some broken, some without frames, some perfectly fine
But it was strange, what was a room doing filled with only mirrors
Sarah muttered "Did they buy a mirror house and change their minds"
Ella shrugged "I don't know, but damn, its so shiny"
Sarah nodded "I love shiny"

There were about five empty rooms that had no sigh of life within them
They approached another drop and went down

The next level proved to be much like the first, nothing much was in it except for rooms and books
Sarah sighed "BORING"
Ella nodded "Lets look for the next drop"

They went down several more drops and Ella frowned "Jebus, how freaking big is this place"
Sarah shrugged "A gazillion miles"
Ella thought about it "Sounds right"

The girls stopped on top of a strange level, the vent seemed to end and their was a loose grate
They cheered "YAY, FREEDOM"
They crawled over and stared down at it
Ella looked at Sarah "Wanna go first"
Sarah snorted "And get eaten or killed if there's a hideous monster lurking down there, I think not"
Ella shrugged "Suit yourself" and jumped down
Sarah jumped after her
The girls looked around and saw they were in a corridor of sorts
The rooms were strange, like cells almost
They looked at each other
Ella whispered "Wanna explore"
Sarah nodded
They walked down the halls and Ella found it was to dark to continue
The girls back tracked until Sarah spotted a torch
She picked it up and whacked it against her palm a few times
She turned it on and cried "SUSCESS"
The light from the torch leading them, the girls went back down the long corridor

"Wow"
"Holy shit, look at that"
They stood in front of a door,
But it was the strangest door ever
Written on it was a pentagram, it looked like it was drawn with blood,
It went over the door and onto the wall around it
It almost looked like a curse, or a seal
They looked at each other
Ella muttered "Should we go in"
Sarah looked at the door, then back at Ella "What's the worst that can happen"
Ella sighed "Everything and anything now you've said that"
She reached out and opened the door
The lights went out from above and she shrugged "Doesn't matter, couldn't see a fucking thing with them anyway"
They went inside and looked around
It was a strange place, like a cell, but there were steps also,
They went down the steps and walked around,
Unfortunately for them the torch ran out of batteries and died
Ella sighed
Then Sarah did the worst possible thing
"Oh well, it could have been worse"
Suddenly both girls tripped over and went head first into the wall

Ella groaned and woke up
Her head was killing her
She heard Sarah moan and knew she was alive, well you know what was meant
They sat up
Sarah muttered "Oh god, where are we"
Ella mumbled "I know where we aren't"
Sarah muttered "Ella, do you remember the way out"
Nothing
"Ella"
Nothing
"Ella"
"Uh-Oh"
"Were lost aren't we"
"Ah- huh, yep and affirmative"
they sighed and suddenly heard
"You two are joking right"
Ella looked up "Red??"
"No it's your conscious"
Sarah looked around "Who's? Hers or mine"
Ella glared (Not that anyone could tell mind you) "Red leave her alone"
"Only if you answer one thing"
"What"
"Are you two lost by chance, stuck mayhap, a little screwed, hmm"
Ella muttered "Yes"
"What was that my little mental"
"FINE YES, YES WE ARE LOST, STUCK AND SCREWED"
Alucard laughed and laughed
Ella glared (once again not much good when no one can see you) "What is so fucking funny Red"
Alucard gasped out "You two are…"

FLASHBACK ENDS

Walter came in "Here you are Sir Integra, I have those tracking devices you wanted for the girls"
Integra nodded then started to laugh
Seras joined in
Pip bit his lip then muttered "Ah, fuck it" he started laughing
Alucard came over to Ella and sat next to her
"So my love" he purred "How did it feel"
Ella didn't say anything
Pip grinned "Will I find you staring at Orange Juice boxes because they say 'Concentrate', hmm"
Integra gasped out "Will we find you trying in vain to put MnM's in alphabetical order"
Seras grinned "Would you like to climb the glass shower door to see what's on the other side"
Ella glared and Sarah muttered "Shut up"
Alucard reached down and placed his hand under Ella's chin
He forced her head up and muttered
"Come love, what else did you expect"
"A little sympathy or understanding" she muttered
He laughed "Ella you and Sarah were lost in a room with one door"
Sarah sighed
Ella looked at her "What country shall we move to so we can outrun the scandal of stupidity"
Sarah smiled "Wanna go back to Australia"
Ella nodded
Alucard looked at them "One your not going anywhere and two, ELLA THE ROOM HAD ONE DOOR, ONE, JUST ONE AND IT WAS OPEN, YET THE TWO OF YOUR WERE LOST"
He lost it and started laughing so hard he was doubled over