Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I own the plot.

Thank you to Dazzled eyes22, I humbly thank you for all your help.

AN:

Thank you to those of you who commented and added me to your alerts.

Well after that small mishap last chapter, what will happen next? Getting back together may be great in theory, but probably not as easy as anticipated.

oooooOOOOooooo

Chapter 24

The deafening silence between us just stretched and stretched and stretched. The euphoria that I had just experienced washed away faster than water rushing through a broken dam. I stared up at Edward and he stared right back. "Uhm, not much we can do about it now," I said carefully.

"I guess you're right," he murmured. Slowly, he climbed from the bed and vanished into the bathroom. I listened to the water running. What had I gotten myself into now? I knew that I was completely and totally irresponsible having sex with Edward this soon, but it almost felt like I was being punished for it. I let my hair down once and boom! Consequences! I was an adult for crying out loud. Didn't I get to have a break and some fun just once in a while? "I'm really sorry," Edward said quietly, once he was back in the room. He sat down next to me with eyes like deep green and incredibly soft moss.

"Please don't be sorry. It's not exactly your fault." I stroked his cheek softly. He reciprocated my touch by kissing my palm sweetly.

"Guess we need a trip past the drug store tomorrow?" he asked. I read between the lines. I wasn't on the pill or anything else and he was checking. I needed the morning after pill.

"I guess we do," I agreed, supplying an answer to his unasked question. "I'll be a minute." I said and scuttled off the bed, needing to use the bathroom myself.

Back in my room, he quickly welcomed me into the shelter of his arms and I went willingly. I curled up next to Edward, who was already snuggled into bed. My heart felt a little heavy all of a sudden. I was exhausted. Neither of us had bothered to put clothes back on. I just soaked myself in his embrace, while letting him cocoon me and leaving no space between our bodies. How much I needed to be held like this and it was like he knew it. "We should get some sleep." He stretched marginally, glancing at the alarm clock. "It's after four in the morning."

I chuckled. "Breakfast is at nine."

Edward hummed. "That is such a nice sound."

"What? Four hours of sleep? Yeah, that is a good night's rest," I drawled. Edward poked me slightly in the ribs and I scurried closer to him to avoid his prodding finger. It tickled. "I'll set the alarm."

The irritating buzzing almost made me want to murder someone. It was nerve grating, earsplitting and persistent. I was so far from ready to get up. My head was pounding furiously. What was that?

"I really wish I could wake up like this every morning," Edward mused in a thick voice. I was still fiercely cushioned in his arms. I was so warm.

"To an annoying alarm and a killer headache? Not really my idea of a glorious morning," I grumbled, trying to figure out how the hell to silence the damn thing. Untangling from me, Edward propped to his elbow, leaned his head into his hand and his morning creased face fell instantly. "Sorry, I didn't mean that I don't like waking up with you." I leaned in and kissed his warm chest. "That part I wouldn't mind repeating. Again and again and again." I kissed his skin once more. "… and again." He finally laughed gently, while his mouth stretched into a charming grin. He rolled over, squishing me into the mattress with his weight while reaching for the adamant and loud alarm. He fiddled with the buttons, grumbling while I was struggling to breathe.

"Seriously… where's the off button on this damn thing."

"Can't… breathe…" Finally, he yanked at the cord, pulling the plug out and silencing it for good.

"Sorry, you okay?"

"Yeah," I croaked when air rushed into my lungs, revitalizing and energizing me. "I'm fine…" We had something important to tend to today. Unfortunately. Edward just nodded. "Are you coming back to the city with us today?" I asked, seriously reeling in my hope that he didn't have to be off somewhere today. He appeared to have a bit of an insane schedule and I really wanted to spend some more time with him.

"Of course, I am." He narrowed his eyes at me, darkness unfurling in his eyes again. Hurt. "I kind of thought that was a given."

I leaned over and kissed him. Behind that often confident exterior, I realized there was a very vulnerable soul. He was emotionally exposed. "Of course it is, but I thought you might have stuff to do."

"I do, I have plans Tuesday night and then I need to leave Wednesday morning," he said. I smiled gleefully up at him. He chuckled. "Yeah, I see your point."

"Where are you going this time?"

"Basically across Europe for a junket. Bella…" he mouthed seriously, toying with a few strands of my hair. "I told you that I wanted to take some time off and take care of Elizabeth during the day. I want to do that. However, my job is kind of like throwing a stone in a lake. The rings take quite some time to die out. I have to finish what I start, but it will ebb soon and we can spend more time together. I am really sorry if I made promises that I can't keep right now."

"It's okay, Edward. I understand. We will make this work. Don't stress out about it." I paused. "Did you sign on to any of the projects that I read?"

He shook his head and for some reason, I couldn't help beaming up at him. He nuzzled me and completely encased me in his arms and legs. "You really are too good to be true."

"Hardly," I muttered and glanced at the time.

"Please don't think so little of yourself, Bella. I can't stand when you look down on whom you are. You're much better than that." I just rolled my eyes at him.

"We really should get up. Breakfast is in half an hour." I wasn't really comfortable with all the compliments.

"I wish that we could stay here a little longer." He lowered his head into the crook of my neck, kissing it gently. Oh, this was so cozy and I felt so content.

"You want to shower first?" I changed the subject, knowing I was hardly able to control myself around him. Last night proved how much I needed to learn that particular skill.

"I was kind of hoping that I could join you. I'll behave. I promise." He released me and held his hands up, while trying to make a joke.

"I think it's me that needs to learn how to behave," I muttered guiltily.

"Bella, please don't do this to yourself. You told me last night that it wasn't my fault. Now I am telling you that it isn't yours either. The condom broke, and that's all there is to it. We'll go to the drug store later today and that's it. No blame, no guilt," Edward said and skated his fingers over my face.

"Okay," I conceded reluctantly. I had been so strung out that I hadn't thought about the future or consequences at all. I had just acted thoughtlessly on the need screaming throughout my body. Being intimate really shouldn't have happened so fast.

"Now, can we please just enjoy the morning and the next few days? That is what I would like to do, well, besides having a shower… preferable not alone." He smirked at me.

Climbing over me, he strutted out of bed, held a hand out and dragged me up. A strong sense of vertigo hit and my vision clouded with darkness when I was on my feet. My vision swam from the instant pain. "Aw…" I whimpered. I palmed my head, trying to say upright.

"Hung over?" Edward asked and chuckled.

"Perhaps. It's not a feeling that I know every well. I think I'm a pretty cheap drunk," I said as the headache slowly subsided. I blinked forcefully to stop the nauseating spinning. "I only had four glasses of wine… I think."

Edward raised his brows. "If you don't drink at all, then four glasses of wine would make anybody a bit woozy."

"I'll remember that," I mumbled, feeling like my head was twice the size than it had been when we went to bed. Maybe that was the problem for my loss of control. I had been so uninhibited, perhaps because I was inebriated or just downright drunk. That would explain a few things. I trotted behind Edward, following him into the bathroom. The warm wash of water was relaxing my strained head.

"You look so different compared to two years ago," he said gently, lathering up the soap in my hair. I pouted up at him. "What? You do." He continued to run his fingers through my sudsy hair making weird patterns with the long strands.

"You can't possibly remember that?" I said and he shrugged, clearly not giving up. I remembered unmistakably how I looked back then. I was scrawny and basically emaciated. I hardly looked like that anymore. "In that case, I must look a bit big boned to you now." I frowned looking down my body. Sure, I was more curvy, but still on the slender side, I figured. I hadn't felt ashamed before. It felt so natural to be with him. Surprisingly, my nakedness didn't face me at all.

"Don't say that." He paused and brought the showerhead down and started rinsing my hair. "You look exactly how a woman is supposed to look. Healthy, feminine and soft." With his index finger was placed under my chin, he forced my head back and kissed me softly, while with his expert fingers he was rinsing the rest of the soap from my hair. "You look very beautiful, Bella. You did then and you do now."

A smile warmed my face, and I blushed. He was so sincere and lovable. I pinched the skin at his stomach. "You don't look exactly the same either. Have you been spending some time in the gym?" I teased.

"That I have." He sighed. "It wasn't for me, though. I don't really care about what I look like. I basically just deliver what the studio expects of me. I had to buff up this time, so I did." He shrugged. I traced my palms laid flat on his stomach up to his chest.

"We have so much to learn about each other," I said and stretched to my toes hoping to receive another kiss. He leaned down humming. We kissed slowly.

"I agree," he mumbled into my mouth. "So it's okay for you to remember me, but not the other way around?" He grinned, boyishly. I dramatically rolled my eyes at him and coiled my arms around his firm waist.

I had thrown my hair into a messy knot, when we were horribly late for breakfast. The shower had stolen the time from us, but I enjoyed this special and precious moment alone with him. I didn't want it to be rushed. We quickly dressed in a far more casual attire today. Jeans and t-shirts. I was comfortable in that.

Now it was time for the next obstacle of the day. This was a bit tricky and I knew I would fail miserably. Facing Emmett. I hardly saw his shadow before I flushed furiously. I hadn't forgotten his prediction yesterday. Boy had he been right.

Everyone else was already gathered and Elizabeth was gnawing on a bread roll. She bounced in her seat when she saw us, waving her roll excitedly. "Morning, sweetheart," I mused, avoiding Emmett's invasive peer. "Did you sleep well?" I asked and kissed her cheek.

"She slept just fine, Bella. May I ask how you slept?" Emmett asked boorishly. He chewed slowly watching my every twitch. Oh no. My face exploded in a deep blush that I had no chance in hell of hiding. Emmett stared at Edward, whose face was unreadable and gave nothing away. I didn't answer Emmett. Edward greeted Elizabeth with a lot of affection and huge smiles.

"Morning Alice, Jasper," I said quietly and chose a seat next to Alice. She tried to hide her smile. Oh no, she knew too. For a brief moment, I met Alice's eyes. Hints of dark shadows graced her face, but her eyes were bright and alight, just like mine when I looked in the mirror this morning. Oh!

"Morning, Bella." Alice and Jasper answered, but continued with their breakfast. The conversation picked up around the table again. I hoped my blush was fading. Edward greeted everyone and headed for the buffet. I started with a cup of tea, still feeling the consequences of the wine. My stomach was churning.

I glanced over my shoulder and spotted that we weren't the only ones late for breakfast. A couple of Jasper's friends had just emerged. One of the women was hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses, followed by her girlfriend. A brunette. I bit my lip trying not to laugh and glanced sideways at Edward, who was also fighting to stay composed. It was the couple that we had spotted outside yesterday. Oh, dear.

Edward sat down next to me and dug into his food. The blond with the sunglasses sat down opposite Edward leaning her head tiredly into her hand. Maria, whose name I just remembered, went to the buffet. "Want me to get you something, Sweetie?" Maria asked with a hand on gently on the blond woman's shoulder. The blond shook her head very carefully.

"Those combustible drinks getting the better of you, Lucy?" Jasper asked and snickered. She was chatting with another friend of hers, Nettie. I had seen her around the apartment.

Lucy? Oh right, that was her name. The girl responded with a low groan. "That too and my throat is killing me," she answered while her voice shot off-key. She tried to clear her throat. "I think that I'm coming down with something."

I covered my mouth to stop the tea from flying across the table, as I was about to choke on it. Under the table, I felt Edward's hand tightened around my thigh. "It was a bit chilly outside yesterday. Perhaps, it's the season." Edward answered completely polite without a hint of amusement. He gave nothing away, but only offered a kind and sympathetic comment – well on the surface. Somehow, I had a feeling Emmett and Edward would get along just fine.

I started coughing and spluttering when the tea flew out my nose. Everyone stared at me. I wished that I could be a blank slate like Edward. "Sorry," I croaked and left the table going to the buffet. Only here, I was faced with Maria. Seriously, what was with this place and all the sex? Perhaps, it was the country air that had everyone becoming a bit uninhibited?

Back at the table, I started to eat carefully, while my stomach was protesting a bit. Edward was right. I was a bit hung over. He continued with his food and ignored a few stares from around the table. People were figuring out who he was, I guess. That was something that I needed to get used to. I pretended not to notice, just like Edward did and started chatting with Alice and followed the general conversation. The mood was light and cheerful. I was so happy to be part of it and ignore what Edward and I needed to do later today.

"Don't tell me that I don't remember," Edward said suddenly, when we were back in my room. He held out his tattered journal, with the pages spread open. I took it and stared at the sketching. The drawings might as well have been copied from the pictures that I took of us back then. I flipped through the pages and at least twenty sketches of us adorned a part of the journal. He had drawn me over and over again.

"Do you have a photographic memory?" I asked puzzled. This was incredible. The details of the beach, cliffs and things that we had done together when we met, were all there. Even things happening where my memory was a bit murky.

"No. I don't. But I am very visual and I see images instead of occurrences. That is how I remember details, Bella. That is how I can sketch."

I closed the journal, not wanting to prod anymore. This was his personal sanctuary and I wasn't about to invade anymore of it, but I was a bit flabbergasted. "That is incredible," I said and held it out to him.

"Thank you." He leaned down and kissed me gently. "We should finish packing up." He turned to Elizabeth and stopped her from digging through his bag and pulling everything out again. "Oh no, sweetie, that's daddy's," he said and strapped it closed. He arranged his tux in the garment bag and I started loading toiletries and brushing my teeth. Elizabeth was stumbling around the room, quietly babbling to herself. She was so chatty.

Edward took the bags out to the rented minivan and came back to get Elizabeth and me. I loved this sense of normalcy and wished it could last forever. When we exited through the back terrace, I threw a last glance over the quiet lake. Not long ago, we had said goodbye to Jasper's family and we were the last to leave the Inn. I noticed Alice sitting on the bench just at the water's edge with her legs crushed to her chest. "Give me a moment, Edward," I asked quietly. He nodded and bent down to kiss me. Would I ever get used to that? He continued to the car with Elizabeth on his arm.

I half-ran down to Alice. She quickly cleaned her face when she spotted me, wiping the evidence that she was crying. It broke my heart. Alice shouldn't be crying on the beautiful sunny morning. "You okay?" I asked and sat down beside her.

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" She answered in her usual chipper voice.

I frowned at her. Her eyes were slightly rimmed with tears, which she was clearly trying to ignore and basically pretend didn't exist. "You don't fool me," I said quietly. I never really saw Alice cry before. Not even when things were really bad with Jasper. "What happened? You looked so happy at breakfast."

She sighed, clearly giving up the tough façade. A few small pools of moisture rolled from her eyes again. "It's just a little overwhelming. I'm being silly that's all." She smiled. It was like a nervous twitch for her.

"I'm sure it's not silly. Why don't you tell me about it?"

She snorted. "I don't even know how to explain it. It's because I am happy and scared at the same time." She hesitated. "Last night… it was the first time Jasper and I…" she shrugged, probably not wanting to finish the sentence. She wiped her face with the back of her hand in the most unladylike fashion. She snorted again. She had never been verbal, when it came to that private side of her life. She was strangely quiet, timid and on edge about making me uncomfortable like that. It was a complete opposite to so many other aspects of her personality.

"Made love?" I prompted. Alice nodded hesitantly. "You can say those words to me, you know. Talking about stuff like this is no different than if you had boyfriend… or husband. Just say what is on your mind, Alice."

She grinned through more pressing tears. "Okay. It was so incredible to be with her again and now, I just so afraid of losing it. Not that it's the sex that matters. It's more that she is doing so well now that I know it all has to end someday. I can't stop expecting the day it all comes crashing down around us again. So having a day and night like yesterday where everything was so perfect, getting married and making love with her was so wonderful that it is abundantly clear that I can lose it all again in a flick of a wrist." She sobbed.

"You won't lose her, Alice."

"No one can be sure. No one expected her to get raped, but she was. No one expected her to starve herself or cut her skin, but she did. No one expected her depression to reach that depth, but it did. I think we all missed the mark completely, because she is normally so strong and level headed. Who says that tomorrow she won't get hit by a truck crossing the street and it's over for good? Can you promise me that won't happen?" she ranted.

"No, I can't, Alice. No one can. But that's life and there are no assurances like that." I paused and took her hand, gently squeezing it. "You can't keep thinking like that. You will miss out on life if you do."

"I know," she shrugged.

"You are just a bit overwhelmed, huh?" I asked. I was happy that she opened up to me. She never really did that. Not when she was hurting.

"Yeah, I told you so. I'm just being silly."

I drew a slow breath. "You are not being silly. You're in love."

"Yeah. Thanks for listening," she answered. Her voice was all muddled with tears.

"Anytime."

The graveled path behind us was stirred by footsteps. "We're all ready to go." Jasper said softly. Alice quickly wiped her face with her sleeves. I looked behind us to see Jasper's gentle eyes on Alice. Placidly, she ran her fingertips against the column of Alice's throat. She leaned into her touch, closing her eyes. "Let's go home, baby," Jasper said and bent down to kiss her hair. Alice reached her hand to her shoulder linking her fingers into Jasper's. In the morning sun, their wedding rings cast illuminant reflections. It looked so beautiful.

I sat in the back of the minivan with Edward. Elizabeth was strapped in her seat next to us. I watched the people silently. Emmett was the designated driver and Nettie sat next to him chatting like there was no tomorrow.

Just in front of me, Alice cuddled up to Jasper as much as her seatbelt would allow. The looks they shared were so full of love and magical. Fingers were softly running through hair, gentle kisses were shared and longing looks exchanged. Something really had changed between them. It was clear as day, even if Alice hadn't confided in me earlier. It blossomed in my stomach. I was so happy for them. It didn't take long for them both to fall asleep with fingers locked together and languid looks on their faces. Lucy was still hidden behind her dark shades and Maria was reading. Every once in a while, Maria would lift her hand joined with Lucy's and kiss the back of her palm absentmindedly.

I peaked up at Edward and he pulled me closer like he read my joy. I leaned in, while resting my head against his chest. I was exhausted. Elizabeth was already sleeping, lulled off by the rhythmical noises of the car. I let myself drift off to a peaceful sleep.

The scent of home hit hard. I was glad to be back to familiar surroundings. Edward took our bags to my room, and then rummaged the fridge for anything edible. There wasn't much to find. I knew one of us needed to go shopping, in a big way.

I called Angela to hear how the weekend had gone by. As always, there was not a thing was out of place when I left my store in her very capable hands. I hoped when Christmas came around that I would be able to pay her a big bonus. She had earned it!

Elizabeth was groggy and the weekend had taken a bite out of her normally chipper mood. She was cranky as hell. Edward did his best to keep her happy and smiling, but there wasn't much to be done to make time pass and then get her to bed early. She's slept most of the car ride, but another nap would throw off her entire schedule. So now she was whimpering continually.

Jasper and Alice settled on the couch and started watching an afternoon movie. They were all tangled up in a mess of arms and legs. It was good to see. They didn't get a chance to be alone for long. Elizabeth sauntered over and kept whining while standing in front of the screen until Jasper finally surrendered, picked her up, and let her nuzzle in between them. She was such a cuddly baby. Edward and I both tried to get Elizabeth to leave them alone and get her to settle with us, but Alice and Jasper refused by saying it was okay. We sat down on the other couch watching whatever they did, but I couldn't focus on it.

"Perhaps now was a good time to… er…" he leaned in and whispered in my ear. I nodded, knowing it couldn't be postponed forever. Sure the pharmacy was open twenty four seven, but I needed to take care of a few minor details - the sooner the better. "Dinner's on me. Any requests?" he asked throwing our cover out into the room.

Alice tipped hear head back and glanced at Edward ecstatically. "Something disgustingly unhealthy." She glanced down at Jasper, laying over her, with Elizabeth wedged in between them. Alice twirled her finger around a few locks of Jasper's blond hair. "You, sweetheart?"

"I vote for the same. I'm not running until Tuesday. I have some time to digest." She laughed softly.

"Disgustingly unhealthy it is." Edward concluded.

I moseyed to the hall stepping over Alice and Jasper's bags that they hadn't bothered to move. Edward pulled on a hoodie and lowered a baseball cap over his head. "You're coming?" I asked confused.

He nodded. "We'll just be careful, okay. I don't want you going alone," he said in a clipping tone. I had a feeling there was no arguing with him. I was too tired to bother protesting anyway. I peeled an almost sleeping Elizabeth from between Jasper and Alice, giving them some space. She could use the fresh air. She whined and protested getting dressed and placed in the stroller.

We passed a diner that had a promise of delivering exactly what Alice wanted. We ordered the food and continued to the drugstore. I was hardly able to talk loud enough when ordering the morning after pill. It felt like a huge violation of my privacy. I wasn't comfortable declaring that I had completely irresponsible and unprotected sex. The sales assistant glared at me. Her thoughts weren't hard to imagine. She was the true rendition of consequences for my irrational behavior. I felt like screaming at her that I didn't exactly plan this. With my red cheeks, I found Edward and Elizabeth at the exit and we went back to diner, only stopping to load up on sugar and ice cream at the all night market. I was surprised no one looked closely at Edward at all. Perhaps this wasn't going to be so bad after all?

After getting back home, Edward put Elizabeth to bed. She had dozed off in the stroller. We opted that it was better to let her sleep than wake her up again. I grumbled a bit hoping that I didn't need to get up at four in the morning when Elizabeth couldn't sleep anymore.

"Good grief. You deliver, Edward." Alice beamed at the sight of the food. We sat down at the table and started digging into the Styrofoam containers. My stomach snarled, finally recovered from this morning's hang over.

"Anything to please the ladies, my pleasure," he said almost shyly. My face heated. The words please and pleasure and coming from his mouth had wicked written all over it. Alice pinned me with a shrewd glance.

"So are you going on a honeymoon?" he asked, his eyes flickering between Jasper and Alice.

"No," Jasper answered. "It's not really convenient right now," she said cuttingly. Alice narrowed her eyes at her. Jasper seemed quite cold towards Edward. I was sure she didn't mean to be.

"It's okay." Jasper and Alice's eyes met and Alice stroked her hand soothingly. "Don't be anxious."

Jasper nodded slowly. "Sorry," she muttered. "I didn't mean to be rude." She bit her cheek for a moment then seemed to relax marginally. "Maybe we'll go next year. I just got back to work and I don't want to ask for time off right now," she said, while volunteering information when she didn't really have to.

"That's a shame," Edward said kindly. "Is it a new job?"

"Uh, no," Jasper answered slowly and then looked at me. Her aqua eyes were slightly surprised. She returned to Edward. "No. I just took a leave of absence for six months. Because… because of what happened last year." Her voice lowered considerably. I imagined this was probably the first time that she had a conversation with a man that she didn't know. I hardly told Edward anything, but the hard facts about Jasper.

"I see." Edward cleared his throat. "You mentioned that you run?" Edward continued gently, while pushing the conversation along without trampling over her since she was clearly a little out of comfort zone. I was about to melt into my seat with his effort. Jasper was not easy to approach.

"Yeah. I'm going to try for the New York Marathon in November." She cracked a small smile.

"Wow. That's a bit of an accomplishment. So how are you going with that?"

"Uhm. I managed twenty-three miles so far, so I'm close to completing the distance. I still have six months to train, so I think I will fend pretty well."

"About that, baby…" Alice cut in. "When Emmett loses the bet, can I decide what his punishment will be?" she gloated wickedly.

"Bet?" Edward prompted.

"Yeah, Emmett bet Jasper that she couldn't do it." Alice threw in before she enthusiastically turned to Jasper again. "So can I baby, please? Pretty please?" She folded her hands into praying style in front of her and batted her lashes lavishly at Jasper. We all started laughing.

"What do you have in mind?" Jasper asked cautiously, while spearing a French fry.

"Oh, I imagine it has something to do with ladies wear… hmm, perhaps even a thong."

"Stop, please. I don't even want to know." Jasper cut her off, slipping her fork across her throat. "Whatever you want. I just don't want to know." She frowned. "At least, I don't think so."

Alice beamed and was unstoppable for the rest of dinner. She chatted endlessly and Jasper relaxed some.

oooooOOOOooooo

The newlyweds went to bed early. I sauntered into the bathroom where I had hidden the bag from the drug store. I was about to pop the pill in my mouth, but my hand was suddenly frozen. I could do nothing, but stare at the little white orb. It felt like a grenade set to explode once inside my body.

I sat down on the lip of the tub and let indecision tamper with my mind. Could I really do this? Suddenly, I was torn between what I knew was rational and what my body was instinctively telling me. Every cell of me was screaming, NO! I suddenly realized that I hadn't thought this through at all. I had just gone with what seemed right and not made an independent decision for myself.

Without a sob or a whimper, tears wet my cheeks. I knew what I should do, but also what I wanted to do. The stress of the entire situation was weighing me down until I was so far under water that I was lost in darkness.

"Bella?" Edward called softly when he knocked on the door.

"Yeah," I managed to wheeze through my dry throat.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," I answered automatically.

"You sure? You've been in there forever. Can I come in?"

I nodded like Edward could see me. "Uhm, yes." I answered belated. How much time had passed?

"Why are you crying?" He asked. He looked distraught, when he spotted me. He glanced down at my raised hand where the pill was placed.

"I can't take this," I muttered and more tears washed down my face. I snorted loudly, all of a sudden.

"I see," Edward whispered. He was so hard to read when he made that stone cold face.

"I know it is irrational and irresponsible and I need my head examined. We have so much to figure out between us, but I can't help thinking about Elizabeth. I love her so much. I cannot imagine my life without her. What if I had done something like this back then, I wouldn't have her," I ranted.

"Shhhh…" Edward hushed me, when my sobs got louder and uncontrollable. He sat down next to me. "First of all, don't hide away and cry. Let me see it," he said quietly. "Second of all…" he took the pill from my hand and tossed it into the toilet. It made tiny plunk noise. "I would never force you to do anything that you do not want to do."

"But it's negligent," I croaked, knowing I should have taken the damn thing and not thought about it.

"Yes, it is." He paused and the silence seemed endless. "We will deal with whatever happens… together. We're adults and we will figure it out."

"My period was sixteen days ago."

"I said we will deal with it when we have to." He grasped me behind my neck and pushed my face against his throat. He smelled like heaven and love. "I'm so sorry if I pushed you. I believe strongly that a woman has a right to choose."

"Pro-choice, huh?" I laughed weakly. "You don't need to apologize. I just didn't think about until now."

Gently he kissed my temple and took my hand. "Let's go to bed, sweetheart."

Quietly, we both quietly changed into our nightwear and rolled into bed. Elizabeth was sleeping soundly all tangled in her sheets. My head was swimming with the thought of my own stupidity and what was going through Edward's mind. "Bella?" he asked quietly. He had rolled to his side, facing me when we lay down. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course, I do." I answered confused.

"I don't think that you do. If you did, you wouldn't hide away in the bathroom crying by yourself. If you trusted that I am here for you, you would let me see your tears and trust that I am still here when we make irresponsible decisions," he said quietly.

"I'm just not used to it," I fended off.

"Could you try to get used to it?" he said quietly. He rolled to his back with a heavy sigh, not looking at me anymore.

He wasn't right? I did trust him. I just couldn't figure out how to blurt out that I was deranged and not wanted to take the damn pill, so I could more likely avoid getting pregnant again. That wasn't about trust… or was it?

"What the fuck is that?" He whispered and his eyes narrowed, squinting through the dim light cast off by Elizabeth's nightlight.

I cringed. Oh no. I didn't dare look at my ceiling. The humiliating poster was staring down at Edward. I'd completely forgotten to take it down.

oooooOOOOooooo

A personal AN for this chapter. Chapters, I suspect, will start to slow down from now on. Reason why – Friday the 6th of May I gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby boy, so yeah, RL will probably start to kick my ass soon. I hope you will stay with the story and for when it ends.

Thanks for reading.

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