Chapter Twenty Five
Carrie had a sense of unease the moment that she got out of bed, and she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Quinn had been quiet and withdrawn the previous day- more so than usual, and she couldn't help but think he had something big on his mind. She got out of bed and headed downstairs- it was still early and she wasn't in the least surprised to find that there was no one else up. She moved quietly and made herself a tea as she tried to work out what was making her feel so uneasy- she sighed as she got to her feet and headed to Quinn's room, the door slightly ajar she pushed it open and then it all became clear as the room was empty and bereft of belongings. He had gone, she leant against the doorframe and swallowed back on her tears- he had run out on her. What had she done? She had pushed him away, made him leave yet again all because she couldn't tell him how she felt, or maybe because she had- she had no idea and no way to fix it.
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"No Peter it's too soon" Dar argued as his operative sat down opposite him.
"Let me work on it- behind the lines, build up the intelligence and then we will be ready to move" Quinn stated calmly. "You know it makes sense- the team needs to know this inside and out so it makes sense for me to be involved" Dar sighed at the comments, he was struggling to find a valid argument and he would be partly relieved to have the injured man in his sight where he could at least keep an eye on him.
"What's your doctor said?" he finally asked, and he saw the gleam in Quinn's eyes as he recognised he had won.
"It's fine Dar" he replied, reaching for one of the donuts that his boss had handed him as he had walked into the office. Dar rolled his eyes, knowing that it would be less than half of the story.
"You get a full medical from one of my guys- if and only if they confirm it will cause you no further damage then you can come in for a few hours a day and work on it- but strictly under supervision and strictly only a few hours a day" Dar told him and Quinn nodded in agreement as he drank his coffee.
"Great- where's the briefing?" he asked.
"Slow down Peter- I told you medical first, I will see what Dr Roscow's availability is" Dar told him with a warning edge to his voice. He reached for the phone and fifteen minutes later Quinn was in the elevator and on his way to be poked and prodded yet again.
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"Why don't you go round to his place?" Maggie asked as she took in the forlorn expression of her sister's face.
"Quinn doesn't have a place Maggie- he moves around" Carrie answered with a sigh.
"Maybe call some of his friends' from work and see if they have heard from him?" the doctor suggested as she sipped her own drink. She was replaying her conversation with Quinn in her mind and hoping that she hadn't said anything that had forced the man to leave- something to scare him off.
"No- he has left for a reason Maggie, maybe he just needs space" Carrie reasoned, trying to be patient and fighting against her natural instinct to hunt him down and drag him back.
"Come on- let's go out and have some dinner" Maggie stated, grabbing her purse and knowing that Carrie would follow her the two women headed out.
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"He isn't field fit" the doctor warned as soon as Dar stepped into the room.
"Tell me something I don't know" Dar replied with a roll of his eyes.
"He is however making exceptional progress given the severity of his injuries" the experienced doctor stated. "I agree with his therapist- daily therapy and the leg should heal nicely, but he needs to take care and not push too far if he wants to avoid permanent damage"
"The rest?"
"The head injury could be problematic- he could have symptoms of that for some time- headaches, dizziness and nausea, but the severity will get better as time goes on" he explained.
"Can he do case work? Office bound?"
"What he can do and what he should aren't necessarily the same thing Dar" the doctor warned cautiously. "It all depends if he will do as he is told, and get rest- not to mention food, the boy is wasting away"
"I know- fine, if there will be no physical harm caused by him returning to work on a desk job basis then I shall allow it" Dar stated, although even as the words left his lips he knew it was a bad idea.
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"You want me to keep an eye on Peter Quinn?" Saul asked in disbelief. "The same Peter Quinn that flew to arrest a possible terrorist less than twenty-four hours after being shot in the gut?"
"Less keeping an eye on and more keeping in line Saul" Dar reasoned as he topped up both glasses with whiskey. "Feed him enough updates to keep his mind occupied, make sure he goes to each and every appointment and if he goes walkabout you call me" Dar requested, knowing that his old friend would do as he asked, the other man thought a lot of Quinn so he was certain that Saul would help keep him in check.
"Fine- but if he shoots me I will haunt you" the former acting director stated with a grin as he slugged his drink.
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Quinn sat on the sofa in his shorts and sipped at his beer- it was quiet and he was grateful for the peace. He was grateful to Maggie for the care she had shown him, but it had been time for him to go. He needed to finish healing by himself- his way. He rested his head back against the sofa and closed his eyes- his latest place was closer to Langley than he would have liked, but it made it easier for the shortened days Dar was going to allow. He had a cab booked for first thing to take him to the hospital and then he was heading into the office, he dragged himself to his feet and headed to bed.
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The next morning Quinn made himself coffee and pulled on loose joggers and a sweat shirt. He slung his bag over his shoulder and limped his way out to the awaiting cab, within a half hour he was at the hospital and heading into his appointment, determined that this was going to be the start of getting his way back.
Two hours later and he was doubting his wisdom as his shirt was wet with sweat and his arms were shaking with exertion. He made his way down the halls in what could only be described as a shuffle before heading outside in the fresh air- the cool breeze plastering his shirt against his clammy skin- he changed his plan of heading straight and got a ride home instead.
It took him longer than he should have but he made it under the shower and enjoyed the spray relieving the tension from his flesh. He knew he had to get out and get dried, but the feel of the water was so soothing he struggled. Finally he stepped out and towelled himself dry, pulling on slacks and a button through shirt which he left untucked. He set off again for the second time that day- only stubbornness alone making him move out of the apartment.
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Saul looked up as Quinn limped into his office, the man looked infinitely better than he had the last time Saul had seen him, but since that had been in hospital he shouldn't have been surprised.
"Hey" the younger man greeted softly.
"Hi Quinn- how you doing?"
"I'm good Saul- you reading me in?" he asked, cutting straight to the chase.
"What's the rush?" Saul asked as he gestured for his friend to sit down. Quinn sat down, mostly to avoid a display of weakness with his struggle to stay on his feet. "Coffee?" Saul offered and Quinn nodded. "So we have a couple of techs also joining us" Saul stated just as a knock on the door came. Quinn knew who would be stepping in before the door even opened.
"Hey Max" he greeted with a groan. Max and Virgil stepped in to the room and moved to the sofa.
"Hey Quinn- looking good" Max stated, glad to see his friend had made progress.
"So what do we have?"
"We have a full suite set up" Virgil told him with a grin, he had missed working with the black ops agent and after everything he knew he had been through he was glad to see him sat there in front of him.
"Great- lead the way" Quinn stated as he got to his feet, barely disguising the groan as he did so and a slight sway as he stood to his full height that was by no way missed by the other men.
"You guys show Peter the space- I'll go and order us some lunch" Saul stated, not missing the state of the boy. Max nodded, he was no fool- he had noticed his friend's weakness, and he didn't like it.
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"This is good" Quinn complimented as he sat down at the desk and flipped open a lap top. He wanted to watch the videos of the interviews, he had to know what had been said and how it had been said. He looked up as a sandwich and a drink appeared before him.
"Eat" Saul commanded as he headed around the table, refusing to speak any more until Quinn picked up the food and took a bite. "Carrie know you are back?" he asked as he ate his own lunch. Quinn sighed at the question.
"She isn't my keeper Saul" Quinn replied tersely, he was tired and his head ached- it was making him grumpy.
"No, but she is your friend Peter- and she cares deeply about you" he replied, and didn't miss the sigh and the pain lines around the other man's eyes. He realised it was time to move on so pushed no further. "Eat- and then we'll talk" he stated, getting the feeling that this must be what being a parent was like. When he was satisfied that he had eaten enough he handed him a file. "Read through that and then call it a day" he instructed, not missing the face that Quinn pulled at the comment. Saul smiled to himself, knowing that this wasn't easy on Quinn being forced to sit back and take things so easy. He clapped the man on the shoulder and headed out of the room with a nod to the two brothers to keep an eye on him.
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Two hours later and Max looked at his friend in worry, seeing the pinched face and the way his head was resting in his hands. Max made his way over and quietly placed a glass of water in front of him and tapped out two of his pain pills.
"Thanks" Quinn acknowledged, his head pounding.
"Let me know when it settles down and I'll give you a ride home" Max stated, no question to his voice. Quinn simply nodded- too tired to argue. A few minutes later he got to his feet and slung his bag across his shoulders.
"Thanks" he stated softly, his voice conveying his exhaustion. Max got to his feet and followed the operative out, the two men walking slowly and silently to the car park. Max pulled open the door and Quinn slumped in- barely able to stay upright as the day caught up with him.
"Too much too soon Quinn" Max warned as he started the engine.
"I'm fine Max" Quinn argued, not moving. Max scoffed out loud at the comment.
"Sure you are" Max muttered. "What address?" he asked realising that he didn't even know where Quinn was currently staying. Quinn reeled off the address and shortly afterwards they were there. Without comment Max was out of the car and following Quinn into the apartment, unsurprised to find it so barren.
"Beer?" Quinn offered, when it was obvious that Max wasn't planning on leaving him. Max nodded and accepted the bottle gratefully.
"I'll order a pizza" he commented pulling out his cell and making a call. Quinn sat on the sofa and flicked the TV on settling on a football game he settled back and sipped from his beer. Max sat down beside him. "You planning on letting Carrie know that you're ok?" he asked and Quinn groaned.
"I'll call her tomorrow" he replied softly.
"She cares about you"
"Yeah well maybe she shouldn't" Quinn retorted before he could stop himself.
"Why? Everyone is allowed someone to care for them Peter" Max argued as he drank his own beer.
"We both know its never going to make either of us happy" Quinn replied. "I am not designed for the life she deserves" he added without looking up. Max was speechless. Beside him was a brave, kind and loving man. A man that would fight for anyone he loved and anything he believed in. He was willing to risk his life to save someone else or just to do what he thought was right, and here he was honestly believing that he didn't deserve to be happy.
"Maybe all she deserves is to choose who she wants to be with" Max stated gently, getting to his feet as the doorbell ringing told them that the pizza had arrived. Quinn thought of those words and drank the rest of his beer, He knew he shouldn't have run, shouldn't have just left when Carrie had shown him such care, but he couldn't help it. He had been suffocating and unable to think- he needed to move, needed the space. She deserved better though- he knew that, he had left partially to protect, but now he realised he had probably hurt her all over again. He groaned and got to his feet hobbling over to the fridge to get two more beers and to grab his cell. He sat back down and held the phone, holding it to his forehead whilst he thought. He tapped out a text and only looked up as Max walked back over with the food and sat down.
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Carrie looked up from the book she was reading as her phone pinged. She looked in confusion at the unknown number and opened the text.
"Sorry- I am an asshole Q"
She grinned as she read the message.
"Yes Quinn you are" she whispered, as she went back to reading her book- but this time she actually managed to read the words.
End Chapter Twenty Five