A New Path
By RandomGnome
Note: After a very long hiatus, I am back. This isn't my usual fair, but bless Hulu, it has S1 – S6 of Rizzoli and Isles and I finally got to watch all of them. After watching the whole thing, I decided that it could use with a little Rizzles and some re-writes of episodes. I hope you enjoy it. All mistakes in editing are mine alone (editing sucks!) The characters are not mine and I do not own anything but the story plot. Mostly.
Author's Note: This is a long one. It covers two episodes in one since they sort of went together in the show. Hope it makes up for so long between posts. Please review 'cuz you guys are all awesome!
Chapter Twenty-Five: Sins of the Fathers (Nice to Meet You Dr. Isles – Love Taps)
Jane picked up her buzzing phone without looking at the caller ID. "Rizzoli."
"Hey-a, Janie." Her father's voice came over the line. He sounded good – happy.
"Pop?"
"Yeah, it's me. How you doin', Janie?"
Jane took the phone away from her ear and stared at it for a moment. She hadn't heard from her father since the visit where he had learned he had cancer. He'd talked about moving back to Boston, but they'd managed to convince him that it was a bad idea.
"I'm…good, Pop. H-How are you?" She came back.
"I'm doin' great, Jane. Hey, ah, listen, I just wanted to call – I talked to your Ma a little while ago and…Jane, am I goin' to be a grandpa?"
"Ma told you I'm pregnant?" Jane wanted to know. After a few months of no contact – not even a post card to tell her how he was doing – Jane had pretty much given up on hearing from him again. It wasn't that she didn't love her father, but he'd just made so many decisions that had taken him farther and farther away from his family. She had come to feel that her true family consisted of Maura, Frankie, Tommy, Vince, and her Ma. It was hard to realise that she'd actually missed her father's voice.
"Well, she told me that your place burned down, but that you don't live there anymore. I asked her why not and she said you live with Maura now." He replied, but she couldn't tell from his voice what he thought of her living with Maura.
"Yeah, that's true, Pop. Me and Maura – we're a couple, now." Jane said. She was going to have to have another talk with her mother – about boundaries.
"I see. And am I goin' to be a grandfather?"
Jane sighed. She had been trying to figure out if she was going to tell her father that she was pregnant. He'd always liked Casey, so she doubted that the parentage would be an issue. She was more afraid of what her father would say about her being with Maura.
"Yeah. Yeah, Pop, I'm pregnant." Jane told him.
The line was quiet for a full minute. "Did you and Maura decide to… co-parent? Isn't that what their calling it?"
"Maura and I are going to raise the baby together, Pop." Jane gave him the most honest answer she had.
"What about the father?" Pop wanted to know.
"Casey's deployed. He knows about the baby, Pop. He chose his career." Jane told him. She didn't tell him that she hadn't really given Casey a choice.
More silence. "Jane, this thing with you and Doctor Isles… Are you seriously…gay…now?" He barely managed to say the word and the way it came out made it sound like one of those words Maura was always on her about.
"Yeah, Pop. I mean, I'm serious about Maura. I'm not gay, though." Jane had been doing the dishes, waiting for Maura to come home from work. Tonight had been the rare happening where Jane was off before her girlfriend. She'd come home and decided to clean up a little and then make dinner for Maura. Her girlfriend was always doing nice things for her and sometimes Jane felt that she took advantage of that.
"How can you be serious with another woman, Janie? I know Maura's a good girl and she's your best friend, but if you're not gay, then how can you be with her?"
Jane let out a long, silent breath. She couldn't tell if her father was truly trying to understand or if he was getting for one of the lectures she'd endured as a child – the kind that she'd often rolled her eyes afterward, because her father was just so small-minded. "Pop, listen, okay? Just listen. I love Maura, Pop. She's more than my best friend. She's everything that I was missing in my life. When Casey left – when he chose the Army over me and the baby – Maura was there for me. When Frost died, Maura was there. When I found out that I was pregnant, she was there. She's always there when I need her and she loves me, too. And – And Pop, I'm gonna marry her someday, soon." Jane wasn't sure where that last sentence had come from. Marry Maura? The thought of it made her grin – Maura in a couture wedding gown, smiling as she walked down the aisle towards Jane – the image her mind treated her to made her a mouth water. Yeah. She was definitely going to marry Maura.
"What? Jane, is that really the way you want to raise your kid?"
"It is. I can't see raising a kid with anyone else." Jane told him. She could almost feel the lecture coming before her father spoke.
"Janie, you're better than that. Just because Casey left, doesn't mean you gotta go bat for the other side. I know it's hard out there, kiddo, and bein' a single mom ain't easy. You really want to live your life like that? You want your kid to be bullied cuz they got two moms instead of a mom and dad? You really wanna do that to them? And what about Maura?"
"What about Maura, Pop?"
"Don't get me wrong, Janie, I think you're beautiful and I'm sure that any kid of yours is goin' to be perfect, but what about Maura? Doesn't she want to have one of her own? How can she do that with you, Janie? You might be good a sports, but you are sorta lacking in the right equipment if you know what I mean."
Jane scoffed loudly. "Okay, Pop, first of all, if Maura wants to have a baby, I'm not gonna stop her. Not that it's any of your business. Just because I don't have the 'equipment' as you call it, doesn't mean that we can't make a baby together. Science has come a really long way, Pop, and Maura – she's a genius doctor. I love her, Pop. End of story."
"Janie…"
"No, Pop. No kid of mine is gonna get bullied – especially not with Maura for a parent. Or me. This kid is gonna grow up and be loved like crazy. I know it. If you have a problem with that, then you can forget about bein' their grandfather. You got that? I love you, Pop, but this is my family. I gotta protect them."
She could hear her father taking deep breaths. She almost smiled because she had to do that a lot, too. "I love you, Jane, I really do. But I just can't see any grandkid of mine being exposed to that kind of lifestyle. Please, Janie, you can't do this."
"It's not for you to decide, Pop. This is my life and I will live it the way I want to. With Maura." Jane told him, firmly.
"Jane, the bible say – "
"– Save it, Pop. Ma is more Catholic than you are and she's happy for us."
"Really, Jane? Are you sure of that? Maybe she tells you want you want to hear, so Doctor Isles won't kick her out. "
"Pop, if you think that, then you musta not paid attention to Ma the entire time you were married to her. And Maura would never kick Ma out just because she doesn't approve of us. She is better than that. I know you always thought that she and I shouldn't be friends."
"I know your mother better than you think, missy. As for being friends with Doctor Isles – I could care less."
"Couldn't." Jane corrected him without thinking.
"What?"
"It's 'couldn't care less' Pop, not 'could'." Jane explained. Maura had explained this little factoid one day over lunch and for some reason it had stuck with the detective.
"Oh so now you think you're better'n me just cuz you talk better?"
"No, Pop," Jane said, suddenly exhausted. She looked towards the front door, willing it to open and admit Maura. She really needed a hug right now. "Look, you got a choice. You can either accept me and my family for who we are, or you can forget my number. Got it?"
"Jane, you're makin' a big mistake. Ple – " Jane cut him off.
"– I love you, Pop." She said and pushed the red key.
Jane threw her phone on to the couch and stared at it, fighting to keep her tears at bay. She did love her father, but she sometimes fought like a demon to keep liking him. This was one of those times. Why had he chosen today, on a day already full of weirdness, to call her? Especially with Maura dealing with her own father drama.
Abruptly, Jane needed to talk to her mother. She didn't like that her father had put doubt in her mind that Ma was really okay with her and Maura's relationship. She stalked outside and across the small courtyard to Maura's guest-house and knocked loudly on the door.
"Ma! Ma!" She called.
"Jane, what?" Her mother opened the door. She was wearing a robe and looked like she had been in the process of getting dressed. Her long hair was up and under a shower cap, too.
"Ma." Jane stepped up and embraced her mother, burying her face in the familiar shoulder.
Surprised and a little worried, Angela hugged her daughter back. "Janie, what's wrong, baby?" She asked, concern in her voice. She backed up, bringing them both into the guesthouse, and shut the door.
Once inside, Jane let go of her mother and started to pace. Her mother knew better than to press – if Jane had something to tell her, she would. After a couple loops, the detective began to talk.
"Pop called. He… He said you told him about my pregnancy."
"I'm sorry, Janie, really. It was last week and it slipped out." Angela apologised, sounding sincere.
"Ma… Ma, I know. It's okay. He was going to know, eventually. That's not why I'm upset."
"Why, then?"
"He – He doesn't approve of me and Maura and he said… Ma, he said that you don't, either."
"What? He said that? What an asshole!" Angela exploded. "Janie, what I told him, was that it wasn't the kind of relationship that I saw for you, but that you are so happy and I'm happy for you. I love you and Maura."
"Are you sure, Ma? You know you can say if it really bothers you, right? I – we – didn't expect you to be okay, you know, right away." Jane told her, wanting her mother to really tell her if she was not okay.
"Oh baby, I know that. But, like I told you before, I have never wanted anything other than for you to be happy. You and Maura are so happy, Janie, and I would never say anything that could ruin that." Angela replied. "Your father is…"
"He's small-minded. He thinks that Maura would kick you out of here if you said that you disagreed with our relationship. He doesn't know anything." Jane interjected, angrily.
"You're right, he doesn't. Yes, he is small-minded. But, Jane, he does love you – it's just not the kind of love that you need, right now. I told him as much when I talked to him. He tried to quote The Bible to me. To me. Can you believe that?" Angela rolled her eyes.
That made Jane chuckle, a little. "He tried that with me, too. I shut him down."
"That's my girl!" Her mother said with approval.
"Ma?"
"Yeah, baby?"
"I… I, um… IwanttoaskMauratomarryme." Jane blurted out. She gave her mother a hesitant smile.
It took Angela only a few seconds to puzzle out what her eldest had said. Her face broke into a wide grin. She crossed the room to where Jane had stopped pacing, reaching out her hand and taking Jane's. "Really, honey? Are you sure?"
Jane didn't hesitate. "Yeah, Ma. I've never been someone who was into the whole marriage thing," Jane began to explain.
"With your father and me for examples, I'm not that surprised."
"Ma! Come on, it wasn't all bad. We were happy, once. Weren't we?"
"Of course we were, baby. I'm sorry if I implied otherwise. I'm just saying that I wouldn't be surprised if you never wanted marriage after seeing your father and I split like we did." Her mother told her. She reached over and tweaked a lock of curly raven hair. "I'm so proud of you, Janie."
"Thanks, Ma. I… I don't know when I'll propose – I don't even have a ring." Jane told her mother.
"Yes, you do. If you want it, that is." Angela told her.
"I do?"
"Mmm-hmm. Hang on a minute." Angela went over to the corner of the room, near the fireplace. She seemed to kick the wall, there was a light hum of electricity, and the floor suddenly slid open. Surprised, Jane walked over to take a look.
"Maura has a floor safe in here?"
"It came with the house," her mother told her, kneeling down and keying in a long sequence of numbers into a keypad on the door of the safe. "There are two more in the main house, along with the wall safe in the bedroom closet."
"Okay, what is the point to having safes if you are gonna tell people all about them?" Jane wondered aloud. What was Maura thinking?
"Oh don't worry, Jane. She only told me in case something should happen to the house – like a burglary. If I found it before she did, she wanted me to check the safes to make sure that they hadn't been touched." Angela told her daughter, sounding nonchalant.
"Then how come this is the first that I'm hearing about them?" Jane wanted to know.
"Jane." Her mother's tone was admonishing. Jane sighed. She could ask Maura about them and she was sure that her girlfriend would tell her that she had just forgotten to tell her. She watched as her mother took out several file folders and set them aside. Next came a beautiful carved wooden box that Jane recognised as her mother's jewellery box. Her mom set it on the floor, opened it, and retrieved a red velvet ring box that looked like it had seen better days. Then she closed the wooden box and put it and the files away, closed the safe and once again tapped the wall with her foot. The panel on the floor slid shut and Jane could hardly tell that there was a panel there at all.
Her mother handed her the ring box. "Go ahead, open it."
Jane did as she was bade and her eyes widened. "Ma! This is gorgeous. And…it's old, isn't it?" Jane didn't take the ring from the box, simply looked it over.
"Yes, it is. It belonged to your great-great grandmother. It was the one thing that your great-grandfather refused to allow to be sold when they came to Boston. It's been passed down from mother to daughter for years. I always meant to give it to you, even if you would never wear it. Do you think Maura would like it?"
"Ma, Maura would love this. Are you sure?" Jane looked at her mother's face.
"I'm positive, baby. It was meant for you to do what you will with it." Angela patted Jane's arm. The taller woman closed the box and put it in her pocket and then she hugged her mother voluntarily for the second time that day. This time, though, Angela smiled and held her daughter tightly.
"Thank you, Ma. For everything. Sorry about the stretch marks."
Angela let Jane go, chuckling. "Yeah, well, they were worth it. Will you tell me before you propose?"
Jane scoffed. "No. But I will tell you what she says."
"She'll say yes, Jane. There's no question in my mind."
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Jane had just finished mixing up the salad when Maura walked through the front door. She looked tired, but her eyes lit up and a smile spread across her face to see Jane in the kitchen. The detective had checked ring sizes by comparing the ring her mother had given her to Maura's others and saw that it would need to be sized down. So she 'borrowed' a ring and made up her mind to take it to the jewellers as soon as possible. She'd also learned more about her great-great grandmother and grandfather, in case Maura questioned her about the ring's history.
"Hey, Honey," Jane greeted her. She stopped what she was doing to cross the room and wrap her girlfriend in a hug. Maura sank into the hug gratefully, burying her nose in Jane's neck and inhaling deeply of the raven-haired woman's scent. It surrounded her and calmed her like no other balm she'd ever experienced.
"Hi." She said, when Jane pulled back. "I needed that, thank you."
"Anytime. I needed that, too. Today has been the worst." Jane replied, then dipped her head down and placed a warm kiss on her beautiful girlfriend's lips. Maura responded with a soft hum of approval before spinning them both and pushing Jane's back against the front door. Surprised, the detective tightened her arms around the smaller woman with a groan. When Maura's tongue requested entrance, it was granted and both women let out low moans. Maura had her hands clenched into fists on the front of Jane's shirt, pulling her down, so Jane raised one hand up to cup the back of Maura's head, threading her fingers into silken tresses to help. They stayed like that until breathing became an issue.
"Wow." Jane said, once she'd caught her breath enough. Her head swam a little, her heart hammered in her chest.
Maura smirked up at her, but Jane could see the pulse jump in her neck, heard the harsher than normal intake of air. "You deserve it, Jane. And so do I."
Jane grinned. "I love you. I made dinner."
"I surmised that when I walked in and the house smelled divine. What are we having? Will Tasha be joining us? Or Angela?" Maura slowly released Jane's shirt, smoothing out the wrinkles with her hands before resting them briefly against the detective's stomach. Jane was feeling the baby move more and more, but Maura hadn't been able to yet. Both women hoped that it would happen soon, so the M.E. had been taking more time just laying her hands on the bump. She looked up and Jane shook her head.
"Maybe after I eat."
Maura nodded. She stepped back farther causing Jane to remove her arm from the M.E.'s waist. She missed the contact, but couldn't help the soft sigh that escaped her when Maura bent over and placed a kiss on the bump and said, "Hi," before standing back up. "You didn't answer my question."
Jane rolled her eyes and pushed off of the door with her shoulders. "Which one?"
"Will Tasha be joining us for dinner? Oh, and what are we having?" Maura raised her nose into the air and inhaled.
"Tasha should be here any moment. She texted and said that speech and debate practise got out early. Ma, is working a double at the Robber tonight to cover for someone who called in sick." Jane told her. It had been Constance's idea for Tasha to join the speech and debate team at school because although her grades were spectacular, the teen had trouble speaking in front of people. She was actually a very shy girl when she wasn't in her familiar groups – those she made at school and her family. It would help her in the long run, so she agreed. It had taken her a week to come up with a topic that she wanted to speak about and another week to perfect it. Today had been the first time that she'd actually practised in front of the other people on her team.
Maura frowned. "Oh my. I'd forgotten that! Thank you for the reminder. Oh, I hope that it went well for her."
"I'm sure it did. I thought it was a great speech on an interesting topic. Didn't you?"
"Yes. She did a great deal of research. It was a solid speech. How long until dinner's ready? Do I have time to change?"
Jane nodded. "It probably needs another 10 or 15 minutes. Go get comfortable and I'll set the table. We can talk about my afternoon after dinner."
"Your afternoon? Jane, did something happen?"
"Yeah. My father called." Jane told her.
"Oh. Jane, are you all right?" Maura took a step towards her, but the detective put up her hand.
"Later, Maur. Okay? I swear. We can have a bitch-fest over our fathers after Tasha has gone to bed."
Maura frowned at her, but nodded her head. "Later, then. I'm going to change." As she started to walk away, Jane reached out and squeezed her shoulder, trying to reassure her that this wasn't a deflection, just waiting for the right time to talk. Maura placed her hand over Jane's and nodded. She understood.
Jane had set the table for three and was checking on dinner when the front door opened to admit Tasha. She closed the door and took her shoes off, placing them on the new shoe rack that Maura had bought recently. When she came into the kitchen, Jane was ready to greet her with a smile and let her know that dinner was almost ready, but she caught the expression on the teen's face and froze.
Tasha's usually sunny expression when she came home was gone. Instead, she scowled so hard at Jane that it might have been a glare. When Jane met her expression with one of concern and curiosity, which caused the young woman to wilt. She dropped her head, wrapped her arms around herself and made a dash for her bedroom. She met Maura coming back from her room, dodged around her and continued to her destination, door closing quietly behind her.
"What was that about?" Maura wondered aloud. She was now dressed in what Jane had termed 'comfort clothes' – a pair of red yoga pants and a B.P.D. t-shirt that had once belonged to Jane, but somehow found its way into Maura's part of the dresser. It was old and soft and Jane understood why her girlfriend had glommed onto it. Since she had many such t-shirts, she didn't mind losing one or two.
"I don't know," Jane told her, staring after the girl. "She came in, glared at me, and then ran to her room."
"Should I go talk to her?" The M.E. asked, clearly not sure how far to push. She was concerned, but she'd learned from Jane that prying into every aspect of her daughter's life wasn't the way to go.
"Give her a few minutes, Maur. I have a feeling something happened at practise and I'm to blame."
"You?"
"Just a hunch. Help me get dinner on the table and then we can go talk to her." Jane suggested. Maura considered it for a moment, then nodded. She trusted Jane's hunches because they had a high rate of accuracy.
"So, what's for dinner?" Maura asked again, as she entered the kitchen.
"Marinated steak tips, caprese stuffed mushrooms, and a salad made with spring mix and kale. Yummy, right?" Jane told her.
Maura blinked in surprise. Not at the steak tips or the mushrooms – she'd learned that Jane had a fondness for stuffed mushrooms – but for the salad. Jane rarely ate green salads without being bribed with sweets. She was especially turned off by kale, despite its many nutritional benefits. Now, she was eating it voluntarily…Maura decided to chalk it up to pregnancy hormones and strange cravings.
Once the stuffed mushrooms had been dressed with balsamic vinegar and some fresh basil, and Maura had whipped up a quick vinaigrette dressing for the salad, dinner was done. They covered the hot food to keep it hot, then approached Tasha's door.
Maura knocked lightly and called out, "Tasha? Dinner's ready, sweetie."
"Not hungry." Came the teens muffled voice from the other side of the door. Maura found this unlikely because she knew that Tasha was still growing and that her daughter ate whenever she could.
"Tasha, please come out and eat." Maura tried again.
"I said, I'm not hungry. Go away. Please."
Maura looked helplessly at Jane. She wasn't sure if she should push or not.
"Baby, you need to eat." Jane called. "Please, Tasha, come out and tell us what's wrong."
"Nothing. I'm not hungry. Please go away." At least she was polite.
Jane pursed her lips, deliberating. She shook her head. She was a cop and she wasn't going to let a teen get the better of her. She motioned for Maura to step back and then she opened the teen's bedroom door. She didn't enter, just looked inside.
Tasha was on her bed, curled up on her side, hugging the body pillow that she'd gotten when her counsellor suggested she'd benefit from one. Her face was buried, but she looked up when the door opened. It was obvious that she'd been crying, tear tracks marked her face and her eyes were red and puffy. Concerned, Jane came forward into the room, signalling to Maura to stay in the hallway.
The tall detective sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out to touch the girl. Tasha shifted away from her touch with a glare. She didn't say anything, just buried her face back into her pillow.
"Tasha, could you at least tell me what I did that made you so mad?" Jane inquired gently. "I won't make you come eat – those steak tips you were drooling over in Whole Foods the other day, by the way – but I at least deserve to know why."
For long moments, the girl didn't say anything, then she sat up abruptly, still glaring, and said in an accusatory tone, "You said my speech was good!"
Taken aback, Jane stared uncomprehending at her. "What?"
"My speech! You and Maura both told me that it was a good speech and that I was a shoe-in for the speech team. Well, guess what, I didn't make it. Thanks a lot!"
"Your speech was great, Baby. What happened? Didn't the coach like it?"
"No!"
"Jane?" Maura called from the hall, "Jane, could you come here, please?"
Frowning, Jane looked towards the door. "We aren't done. I'll be right back." She got up and went out into the hall where Maura was waiting. She was looking at her phone and frowning.
"We get case?" Jane asked, feeling torn.
"No." She handed Jane her phone. "Read this, please."
Jane took the phone and read the brief email from the coach of the speech and debate team. The gist was that he felt that Tasha's speech was inappropriate for someone of her age and that as her parent, Maura should not have encouraged her. He stated that if she wanted to write a speech that was more age-appropriate, he would gladly have her on his team.
"Age appropriate?" Jane muttered. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"All the other kids on the team thought it was a good speech," Tasha's voice had them both looking towards her room again. "But he said that I didn't follow the guidelines and that it wasn't an appropriate topic."
"Bullshit!" Jane spat. "You went over those guidelines with Maura."
"I know." Tasha sniffled.
"I'm not sure how the topic was found inappropriate." Maura frowned and shook her head. "We triple-checked it to make sure your speech was not any of the disallowed topics."
Jane sighed angrily. "I'm sorry, Baby. This is complete garbage."
Tasha sniffled again. She gave Jane a watery smile. "You guys aren't disappointed?"
"Not with you, Tasha." Maura told her and Jane confirmed with a nod. "Is this decision something you would like to appeal?"
"I… I don't know." Tasha replied.
"You should at least try," Jane told her. "The worst that can happen is they uphold that lame decision."
"Oh." Tasha looked thoughtful for a moment. "Okay, I mean, why not? Maybe whoever does the review can show me exactly where I went outside of the guidelines, right? The coach wouldn't give me any specifics."
Maura and Jane exchanged a look. When someone criticised someone's work, but couldn't give any specific details on how to make it better, it usually meant that the accuser was simply being rude for no reason. That look between the two older women spoke of the conviction to see this wrong righted for the teen if needed.
"How do I appeal it?" Tasha asked.
Maura thought a moment and said, "I'm going to contact your principal and find that out."
"Okay?" Jane asked her, smiling again. Tasha nodded and suddenly threw her arms around the woman's waist in a hug. The tall brunette returned the embrace with one arm and used her free hand to ruffle the girl's hair. Tasha pulled away, rolled her eyes, and batted Jane's hand away from her hair. She hugged Maura next and murmured an apology in her ear. The M.E. smiled at her daughter and gave her a peck on the cheek.
They all went into the dining room and dinner was served. Conversation was light and the hard subjects skirted around. They talked about anything but their respective days. It was clear that Tasha still wasn't feeling all that great and between their respective fathers, neither Jane nor Maura was feeling particularly chatty. They all agreed, however, that Jane needed to cook more if she was going to make dishes like the mushrooms. They also had to admit that the steak tips were prepared absolutely perfectly. All in all, Jane was proud of herself for making a meal her family enjoyed.
After dinner, it was clear that Tasha was still not feeling all that great. When Jane and Maura invited her to come watch something on television with them, she politely declined. She told Maura that she would email her a copy of her speech to go over, and that she wanted to study in her room. Behind Tasha and over her head, Jane gave a single nod. She understood that the girl needed her space and that it might take a few days for her to be on an even keel again. The sooner they got to the bottom of this speech issue, the better.
So Jane helped Maura rinse the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. Maura tried to get her to let her do it on her own, but Jane had simply told her that it would get done faster with two people and that she wasn't going to start anything without Maura beside her on the couch. The M.E. had rolled her eyes, but capitulated, because Jane was right about it not taking as long with two people.
Once the domestic stuff was taken care of, the two women settled on the sofa and turned on a documentary about the deep parts of the ocean and how they hadn't been explored nearly enough. For Jane it was just another reason to stay out of the water. She wasn't frightened, but the fact that even the smart people didn't know exactly what was down there, made her a little nervous. In order to entertain herself, Jane kept stealing glances at Maura, who was very much into the program.
They had settled on the couch in their usual manner - Jane with her feet up on the coffee table and Maura curled into her side, legs curled to the side. The taller woman had lifted her arm and laid it across the blonde's shoulders while the M.E. had slid one arm between Jane's lower back and the couch. Both women had then rested both hands on Jane's protruding belly, under a light blanket. The baby hadn't been particularly active since Jane's father had called earlier, Jane would bet that as soon as she was ready for bed, it would start doing Circe du Soleil routines. As Jane watched Maura watching the television, she was hit with a feeling of contentment so strong that it almost made her cry (damned hormones). She became aware of just how many times in the past, she and Maura had sat on this very couch, so close that they could almost touch. She thought of just how much she'd wanted to sit with her arms around her best friend, but hadn't dared because she'd been too afraid of rejection. Little did she know that Maura wanted the same thing and was scared, too.
It was sort of crazy. If someone had told her even six months ago that she and Maura would not only be together, but about to be having a baby, she would have scoffed and said that they were insane. Now, though, she just couldn't see any other way it could have happened. She could not have stayed with Casey. He would have loved her, taken care of her, made sure the she and the baby were healthy - and she would have ended up chewing her own arm off to get away. Not that Maura didn't do all of those things, she just did it with a little bit more finesse. She knew Jane and best of all, she knew how to handle Jane. Sure, the M.E. could be bossy and a know-it-all, but Jane had never felt smothered by her, the way she had with Casey. In the grand scheme of things, Jane would have bet that a marriage to Casey wouldn't have lasted.
Marriage to Maura, however... The detective smiled to herself, thinking about the gorgeous ring that she had hidden until she could take it to be resized.
Marriage to Maura was something that, now that she had admitted to herself how much she wanted it and had taken the first steps, Jane just knew it was the right thing. She closed her eyes and once again, pictured Maura in a wedding dress - and smiled at the image. She saw herself in a dress, too, but nothing as fancy as what she could see the M.E. wearing, nothing white. She could imagine them surrounded by their closest friends and family, everyone clapping and smiling as they said their vows and promised the rest of their lives to each other.
It would be perfect because it was with Maura.
Jane turned her full attention to the doctor, which served to bring Maura's focus upward to Jane, a question in her eyes. The brunette leaned in and took the blonde's lips in her own in a fierce kiss that made the M.E.'s arms tighten their hold around the detective's middle.
When they parted, Jane was pleased to see the colour high on Maura's cheeks and the dilation of her pupils. "Oh." The blonde sighed. "Not that I'm complaining, Jane, but what was that for?" She asked. Her hand on Jane's back moved and slipped under the detective's shirt to splay against the skin of her lower back. Jane caught the hand that rested on her belly and twined their fingers together, marvelling at the strength in the smaller digits.
"Because I was sitting here next to you and I remembered how many times we used to sit here, not quite touching, me wanting to kiss you. Then I realised that I could do it, now. So I did."
"I see. So you haven't been staring at me this whole time?" The smirk that played across those soft, kiss-swollen lips let Jane know that her attention hadn't gone unnoticed.
"Well, isn't that a given?" Jane wanted to know, which earned her an even brighter smile and an eye roll. "Honestly, Maur, I sometimes have a hard time understanding what took me so long to realise how I felt. I'm sorry I was a coward and it took years before we got here."
"Oh Jane. I'm sorry that it took us years to get here, too. I'm just happy that we took that step. There's nobody else I'd rather sit next to on this sofa." The M.E. laid her head back where it had been on Jane's chest, a contented smile on her mouth.
When the documentary was over, Jane did a quick check of all of the doors, making sure they were locked properly, while Maura went to tell Tasha that they were going up to bed. The teen got up from her desk, where she was studying something on her computer, to give Maura a hug. She told her mother that she had emailed the speech to her along with a copy of the guidelines. Maura swore to her that she and Jane would get to the bottom of things. Finished with her safety checks, Jane stopped and gave Tasha's hair good ruffle, earning her yet another eye roll.
"Good night, Baby." The detective told her, affectionately, ignoring the eye roll with lofty dignity. "We'll be upstairs if you need us."
"Good night, Jane. Good night, Maura."
Once upstairs, with the bedroom door shut firmly behind them, Jane and Maura indulged themselves in a shower together. They didn't do this often because it inevitably led to something more than just washing each other's backs. That night was different, somehow. Instead of a slow worship of each other, they traded only a few kisses and light caresses. Afterwards, they dried thoroughly and got under the blankets of the bed, both lying on their sides, facing each other. Jane reached out and took Maura's hand in her own.
"So, are you ever going to tell me what your father said?" Maura asked.
Jane sighed. "I'll tell you what Pop said if you promise to tell me why you hate your father." The brunette suggested.
Maura seriously considered the trade before nodding. "Okay. What I tell you can't leave this room, though."
"My lips are sealed." Jane promised. Maura nodded. "Good. Okay, so apparently Ma let slip to Pop that I'm pregnant. He called me to make sure it was true. And then... Then he asked about us." She shook her head, a little sadly. "He isn't okay with it. He thinks that... Well, he tried to tell me that Ma wasn't as okay with us as she says - he told me that the only reason she says that she is, is because she thinks that you would kick her out of the guest house if she didn't agree." Maura scoffed at that, which made Jane smile. "I know, right? I told Ma and she said that she would try talking to Pop to bring him around. I told him that if he wanted to know his grandchild, he was going to have to deal with us as a family - I told him that I love you and I am not going to leave just because he doesn't approve."
Maura couldn't stop her grimace. "He called just for that?"
Jane nodded once, then gave her head a little shake. "Pop's a dick. I hate to say that, but it's true. If we're lucky, he'll give up and we won't have to deal with him again."
"Jane," Maura admonished her gently, "you love your father."
"I do. But I don't really like him most of the time."
"I know what you mean, Jane. I haven't liked my father in so long..."
It was Jane's turn to reach out. She let go of Maura's hand and cupped the blonde's face, her thumb running over Maura's cheekbone. "Do you... Do you want to tell me why?"
Maura let out a breath and closed her eyes. She turned her head and kissed the inside of Jane's wrist. She was quiet for so long that Jane wasn't sure she was going to say anything. Then, "What I tell you cannot leave this room." It was a repeat of her earlier statement, so Jane knew this was big.
"I promise." Jane said immediately.
It took another short silence for Maura to gather up her thoughts before she began to speak again. "When I was 14, we lived in France. My best friend at the time was Carice Jaquard - she lived next door to us. One day, she didn't show up to school, so on my way home, I stopped at her house - to see if she wanted to know what the homework was." Maura paused and pressed her face into where Jane's hand still rested. Whatever she had to say was obviously painful to her and Jane almost told her to stop, that she didn't need to know. Before she could say anything, though, Maura continued. "I knocked on the door, but nobody answered, so I went inside. I went upstairs - that's where the bedrooms were - and I saw Mrs. Jaquard's door open." Maura took a deep breath. "I could see her inside, lying on the bed, pulling the sheet up... Just as Arthur came out, buttoning his shirt up."
Jane made a sympathetic noise as her heart went out to the young woman that Maura had been. He own father might be an asshole, but at least as far as she knew, he hadn't cheated on her mother. Maura's eyes filled with tears, but she blinked them away. It took her a few moments to gather herself up for the next part of her story.
"Up until then, he was... a hero to me. He broke my heart."
"Oh, Maura." Jane caught a fat tear on her thumb as it rolled from Maura's closed eyes. She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her girlfriend's forehead.
"He... begged me not to say anything." She said, her voice sounding small. "I didn't. To anyone. But not telling my mother... keeping it inside, it... feels like it's still inside me, living here," she took Jane's hand and placed it over her heart. Jane could feel the strong steady beat of Maura's wonderful heart. The idea that her father had bruised it so badly made Jane want to do anything that she could to help mend it. "I think that's why I have such a hard time not telling the truth, why I break out in hives."
Jane moved her hand and used it to cup the M.E.'s chin and raise her head so that she could see the beautiful hazel-green eyes that she adored so much. "Maura, I love that you can't lie. Sure, I might give you a hard time about it, but Honey, I think of it as an asset. Just like I love your big, Wikipedia brain and your Googlemouth. It's part of who you are and it's a part of what made me fall in love with you."
"Do you think I'm a coward?" Maura asked.
"What? No. Why would you ask that?" Jane leaned forward and place a light kiss on Maura's lips. "Maura, I know that you are anything but a coward."
"Because... I haven't ever said anything to him. You - Jane, you are so brave."
"I'm really not. Have you met my mother? I have kept plenty of things from her, Maur."
"Like what?"
"Like... Oh, like the time I caught her masturbating in the shower when I was 16. She didn't know I was in there - I just needed to get toilet paper. When I realised what she was doing, I got out of there as fast as I could. I couldn't look her in the eyes for months after that. For a while, I think that she thought I was on drugs or something."
They both laughed at that. Jane shuddered at the memory and pushed it to the back of her mind. "Maur. You were child and he put you into a terrible position."
The doctor let out a huge sigh. "But it was so long ago. I don't know what I should do."
Jane thought about it for a moment and then asked, "Do you want me to shoot him?"
"I do. I really do." Maura replied, with a little bit of a smile. "But maybe I should try talking to him first."
That made Jane smile back. "Okay, well the offer stands, you know."
Maura leaned in and kissed Jane. "Thank you. We'll see how the talk goes. Otherwise you are uniquely suited for the job. You are good at shooting my relatives."
Jane giggled. "I am, aren't I?" She kissed Maura lightly. "Come on, let's see about getting some sleep."
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It was almost a week before Maura could get up the courage to contact her father. First, she had to deal with Tasha's school. The principal had been almost too eager to help any way that she could once she found out exactly who Tasha's adopted mother was. They had a meeting set up for two weeks later, because it was the only time that Maura and Jane could make it.
Maur knew that she needed contact him before he left or she'd regret it. The day that she called him, Jane was there, of course. She held Maura's hand while the M.E. called her father and all through the subsequent halting conversation. He told her that since she was a mother now, there was paperwork that needed to be signed in order to add Tasha to the Isles Foundation. He suggested dinner, but Maura countered with a simple meeting in a park near the precinct that afternoon. He agreed to that with what sounded like actual happiness and it constricted her heart because she was both terrified and angry at being forced to face him, however she was hopeful, as well. When the call was over, Jane took her phone and set it aside, then pulled Maura into a strong embrace. She allowed herself to be held, sighing into the safety and warmth that Jane's arms offered her.
"I'm glad that you did that, Maur." Jane told her while one hand rubbed soothing circles up and down Maura's back. "I think that you will be, too. If for no other reason than you can brag about how great Tasha is."
That made the doctor huff out a little laugh into Jane's neck where her face was resting. "He didn't ask about the baby."
"That's okay." Jane replied, soothingly. "He's only just met me, really, and it wasn't under the best circumstances. He might not know if it's a safe topic."
Maura thought about that for a short time. While she did, she focused on listening to Jane breathe steadily. She inhaled Jane's unique scent and let it wash over her. The M.E. allowed herself to fully relax against her girlfriend, knowing that Jane would be waiting for her when the meeting with her father was over. She *could* do this.
When Maura pulled away, Jane let her go, missing the loss of her warmth immediately. The baby kicked her kidney and she flinched.
"Are you okay?" Maura asked, concern touching her voice.
"Ugh. Yeah." Jane put her hand on back and rubbed. It didn't help. "I swear it's a boy and he's going to be soccer player. Between my bladder and my kidneys..." She sighed.
Maura covered her mouth to hide the amusement she felt. She knew that she shouldn't laugh at Jane's discomfort, but she couldn't help it. "I'm sorry, Jane. Can I do anything?"
"Make this pregnancy go faster? Before my internal organs are pummelled into dust. Ow, damn it!" She threw up her hands in exasperation as she got another boot and immediately had to pee. She spun on her heels and practically sprinted to the bathroom. When she was out of the room, Maura allowed herself to chuckle quietly. She still had a few weeks to go before she should be able to feel the baby move, but from what Jane had been telling her, it would be easy to feel.
At nearly twenty weeks - the halfway mark - Jane was beginning to feel uncomfortable in her own body. Her feet and ankles had started to swell if she was on her feet too long without moving. The many trips to the bathroom were beginning to get on her nerves as was the feeling of almost constant hunger. She hadn't been able to eat a full meal in about a week because she kept snacking all day. Strangely for her, Jane's cravings had taken on a twist that neither of them had foreseen. Instead of craving sugary sweet treats like Maura had been afraid would happen, Jane had been buying and eating entire bags of organic baby carrots, cucumber slices, blackberries and raspberries, and kale. She had also taken to drinking a cup of raspberry leaf tea at night before bed. She had also been craving a lot of red meat. Steaks and burgers were her go-to food, although Maura had managed to persuade her to swap out chicken once in a while. Instead of ice cream, Jane had taken to freezing her fruit of choice and then adding cream and some organic raw sugar, then stirring the resultant mixture until it was smooth, before eating it. Maura often wondered how long this healthy Jane would last after the baby was born.
The detective came back into the living room with a scowl on her face. "I swear, Maur. I can't wait for this kid to be out so he can stop playing with my organs. Doesn't he know I kinda need those?"
Maura went to her girlfriend and placed both hands on Jane's belly. She leaned close to it and said, "Come now, be a good boy for your mama. Oh!" She felt a little flutter under one hand. She looked up at Jane with wide eyes. "Was that..?"
Jane's scowl fell away and a sunny, dimpled smile replaced it. "You felt that?"
"I did. Oh! There it is again!" Maura felt tears of joy prick her eyes.
"Guess he's finally saying Hi to his mommy." Jane told her, placing her hands on top of Maura's. Then she moved them to the side of her belly and Maura felt another flutter, and then another, and another in rapid succession.
"Oh my! You're right, Jane, he's strong." Maura let out a delighted laugh.
Jane's grin deepened. "Yeah, he's definitely a Rizzoli."
"Jane? Do you really think it's a boy?" Maura wanted to know.
"I honestly don't know. Maybe. I sort of want a boy, you know." Jane replied.
"You do? Not a girl?"
"Kind of. I am not sure what I have to offer a girl. I've always been one of the guys." The detective admitted.
Maura smiled at her girlfriend. "That makes sense. And you're so good with TJ."
"What about you, Maur? We've never really talked about it. We talk a lot about names, but I don't think I've asked you what you are hoping for."
Maura leaned up on to her toes and placed a kiss on Jane's cheek. "I love you, Jane Rizzoli. I don't care if it's a boy or a girl. I just want the baby to be healthy."
"Yeah? Are you sure?"
"Jane. My beautiful, sweet Jane. Before you told me that you were pregnant, I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to get the chance to be a mother. I didn't want to raise a child on my own, and I was beginning to think that I was meant to be alone." Her voice as small and sad.
Jane made a tsking sound and cupped Maura's cheek with one hand. "That's… Really, Maur?"
"I was just feeling sorry for myself. You were with Casey. I was alone." Maura admitted.
"Maura," Jane blinked back her tears. She hated her hormones. "Honey, even if things had worked out with Casey, you would never be alone. You're a Rizzoli, no matter what happened with us."
"You know what I mean. I didn't see myself with anyone. I thought that I'd lost my chance to tell you how I felt. I told myself that being a parent just wasn't in my future."
Jane leaned forward and place her lips on Maura's, drawing the M.E. into her full embrace. When they parted, Maura was smiling again and Jane said, "And look how far you've come. Already a great mom of a terrific teenage daughter, and ready to welcome this one into the world with me."
"It's sort of surreal for me, Jane. I went from feeling utterly alone to having everything that I wanted in a short time. I think," Maura paused and looked away from Jane, "I'm sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop."
Jane chuckled. "I know what you mean. I'm so happy these days. I don't come home from work to an empty apartment, anymore. I have you and Tasha. I have Ma and Frankie and Tommy – I feel like my family has never been closer. I may be a whale, but I'm actually getting pretty excited about this baby. I have sort of been waiting, too. It's like my life is just too good." She kissed Maura again and the blonde's arms came up to wrap around Jane's neck.
"It may be too good to be true, but it is true." Jane said, breathlessly, when they parted.
"You have no idea how much I love you when you kiss me like that." Maura managed to reply.
"You have no idea how much I love kissing you like that." The dark haired woman told her, sincerely. She gazed into the hazel-green eyes that she adored and said, "I'm in this for the long haul, Maur."
Maura's heart skipped a beat, not just because of Jane's words, but because as confident as she sounded when she made the statement, Maura could see a vulnerability within her girlfriend. It took a lot of courage and trust for Jane to admit her feelings. The fact that Jane felt secure enough in their relationship to say that warmed the M.E. to her core. "So am I." She whispered before pulling her detective in for another searing kiss that led them over to the couch, tugging shirts from where they tucked into pants, to get hands on bare skin. Both women knew that if they got a call, they would have to stop, but until that time, they were going to enjoy themselves.
Jane sat on the couch and pulled Maura down atop her. Maura straddled Jane's legs, sliding her hands underneath the front of Jane's t-shirt while the brunette's digits wandered lovingly over the M.E.'s back and her lips made their way across Maura's jaw to her neck. If this went much farther, the next dead body was going to have to wait.
Sure enough, just as Jane's ever dextrous fingers began to play with the clasp of Maura's bra, their phones began to buzz.
Jane let out a low, disappointed groan, followed by a whimper. "They can wait, they aren't getting any deader."
Maura sighed in resignation and slowly backed off of her girlfriend. Her entire body was tingling the way it always did when she and Jane made out. She reached for her phone on the coffee table where Jane had put it. "Doctor Isles," she answered it, her voice an octave or two lower than normal.
"Rizzoli," Jane answered her own phone in grumpy voice.
Sure enough, they had a body.
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Because of the new case, Jane wasn't able to see Maura before she left to see her father. She was, however, waiting in Maura's office when she returned. The M.E. saw her girlfriend seated on the edge of the sofa, fidgeting with her hands the way she did when she was agitated. As soon as she saw Maura, she pushed off the couch and got to her feet.
"So, how did it go?" she asked.
Maura didn't say anything. She had tried to blank her expression, but it didn't work. Jane took one hard look at her, and opened her arms. Maura accepted the comfort despite being in the middle of a work day, because she was feeling battered and bruised emotionally and only Jane's warm, strong presence could help.
Once Jane let her go, they sat on the couch together and Maura gave her girlfriend a detailed account of what happened.
Maura saw her father sitting at one of the small tables in the park. As had happened every time she had seen him since 'the Incident' as Jane called it, the M.E. felt herself at war. She had loved her father once, had practically worshipped him. Now, being around him hurt like nothing else in her life. He had once been her whole world and now he was practically a stranger. Her heart began to beat harder as she approached him, slowly, to give herself time to school her features.
He stood as soon as she came into his view, smiling at her. It twisted her heart to see that smile. He greeted her, "Maura, I'm so glad that you called. This park was a wonderful idea – there's a barista that makes a bracing espresso – would you like one?"
Forcing herself not to glare at him was difficult. She declined as politely as she could. They both sat and he got right to business. He slid a large manila envelope to her. "This is the routine paperwork to add your daughter to the Isles Foundation and to set up her Trust. I'm sorry, but they need to be notarised."
Maura looked down at the envelope because it was better than looking at him. She had found that once she had opened up to Jane about what happened when she was young, it had been easier to tell someone else. When Angela had caught her declining calls from her father and had asked why, Maura had told her. Angela had been appalled and suitably sympathetic. She and Jane both had urged the M.E. to confront her father and she had braced herself to do so. She hadn't expected him to be so much like she remembered that it was like a physical pain to be in his presence.
"That's fine," she told him, hesitantly. "I will… have them to you by tomorrow."
"That's fine," he whispered. Why was he whispering?
"I should get back," she said, gathering herself because she suddenly couldn't sit there anymore.
"Maura," her father said, in a small but calm voice, "couldn't we just sit and talk for a bit?"
She stared at him like he had gone crazy. "I… I don't know how to talk to you. I haven't since I was 14 years old."
"Will it always be like this between us? Please, I… I miss you." He said. "I know that I made a mistake – a terrible mistake. But your mother and I – she forgave me for the affair so long ago. Why can't you?"
"Because you never asked me to. You never said anything to me." Maura replied, hotly. She kept her voice down, so as not to attract attention from passers-by. "You just asked me not to say anything and I didn't. You acted like nothing happened."
Her father's voice was shocked as he said, "I didn't know how to talk to you about all of that."
"You didn't try." Maura shot back, angrily. She had told herself that she would be civil, but this was too much. How could he ask her this?
"I was embarrassed." He admitted.
"And I was traumatized. By you."
"I understand how difficult things were for you –"
"- No you don't! If you did, you would have talked to me about it. You would have told Mom that I know. You would have done something instead of letting me carry around this terrible secret all these years on my own."
Her father stared at her in horror. "You and your mother never talked about it?"
"You asked me not to!" She exploded at him. "I didn't say anything to her because I was afraid that she would leave if she knew that I was keeping a secret – your secret... And… despite everything, I wanted you to stay together."
Her father stared at her like he'd been slapped. "I… I had no idea." He let out a breath that sounded less like a sigh and more like someone had punched him. "You… You went off to boarding school and I was in South America."
Grimly amused at his logic, Maura asked, "So you thought that things would get better because we were on different continents?"
"Of course not," he answered fast enough that Maura knew that was exactly what he thought.
"So how did you think that it would work?" She pushed.
"I thought… I thought that things would get better with time." He admitted, looking suitably chagrined.
"They didn't. It got worse. Your secret became my secret. After all these years…" Maura stared at him now and let him feel how she felt. After a few seconds, she found that she needed to leave. She picked up the envelope and stood.
"Maura," her father blurted her name. She sighed heavily and looked at him, trying not to cry. "I am grieved that you have suffered for my stupidity. It is the one thing in my life that I most regret. If I could take it back, I would, in a heartbeat. I miss you, so much."
She stared at him, wanting so badly to believe him. She wanted to hug her father again. She wanted to sit down and tell him all about the part of her life that he had missed. The shell around her heart that was only for him cracked and bled anger at the wrong time.
"I missed you, too, Daddy." She told him, her voice cold. "And then I got over it. I'll text you when these are done." With that, she left.
"Oh Maura." Jane said, her eyes full of sympathy. "Do you feel any better?"
"No. I thought that I would. I thought… That if I just told him how I felt that it would be like some big weight off my shoulders, but… I don't feel any different. I feel worse."
"Why?" Jane asked, gently.
"I… I don't know. He looked at me and… I was a little girl again." Maura replied.
"Okay." Jane said, thoughtfully. "Okay, well, why don't we test it? Lie to me."
"I'm sorry?" Maura asked.
"Well, you said that you thought the reason you can't lie was because you never talk to your father about the affair. Now you have. Lie to me, see if you get hives." Jane explained her reasoning.
Maura frowned and shook her head. "Jane, I don't think –"
"- Lie to me!"
Taken aback, the M.E. just stared at the detective, unsure of how to proceed. "Make it big, though, so it counts." Jane told her.
Maura considered everything that had been happening and what she should lie about. As someone who had made it a policy in her life to be truthful, she found it almost impossible to tell an untruth.
"Fine. Jane… I don't love you. I think we should break up." Maura made the words come out of her mouth, though they felt like poison and made her stomach clench even more that it already was after the meeting with her father.
Jane gasped in mock horror, but since she already knew it was a lie, it was followed by a smile. "Are you itchy?"
Maura checked her arms, curiously. No hives, yet. "Not yet." She replied, cautiously.
Jane's phone buzzed and she took it off of her belt to check it. She got up slowly, then leaned back down to place a kiss on Maura's forehead. "I gotta go. But keep lying, maybe you've had a breakthrough." The brunette grinned as she walked out the door. Maura couldn't help the silly smile and chuckle as she watched her leave.
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After Jane left, Maura decided to call her mother. She was hoping that finally admitting to her that she knew about the affair might make her feel better. As was normal, her mother was away, but Maura left her a message. Constance called back just as Maura was getting ready to leave for the day so she could take care of the paperwork her father had given her.
"Hello, Mother." Maura answered her phone with genuine warmth. "How are you?"
"I'm well, Darling, thank you for asking." Her mother replied. She sounded tired, but happy. "I've just come back from a gallery opening for a new artist that I scouted. He is going to go far!"
"That's wonderful, Mother. You'll have to show me some of his work." Maura told her.
"Yes, I will. How are you, my dear? How are Jane and the baby? Tasha tells me that she's starting to really show now."
Maura smiled in spite of herself. "I'm well, thank you. Jane is starting to find pregnancy less… enjoyable than before."
"How far along is she now?" Constance inquired.
"Nearly 20 weeks. I think that she is beginning to really feel the changes in her body. I also caught her nesting the other day." Maura grinned at the memory.
"And the two of you are all right?"
"Yes. It isn't easy to keep up with Jane's hormonal swings, but we have managed so far. I'm very excited for this baby to be born."
"I'm so happy for you, Maura. Both of you."
"Thank you, Mother. I… Mother, I am going to ask Jane to marry me." Maura hadn't actually intended to say that.
"That is wonderful! When do you plan to ask?" Constance sounded absolutely overjoyed.
"Thank you. I… Haven't planned the actual proposal. I was wondering if you'd allow me to give her great-grandmother's ring."
"Of course! I'll call the bank in Boston and have it released to you as soon as possible."
"Thank you. It means a lot to me. I think that ring will be perfect for Jane." Maura took a deep breath. "Mother?"
"Yes, Darling?"
"I have something that I need to tell you."
"All right."
Maura took another deep breath. If she could confront her father after two decades, she could talk to her mother. "As you know, Father has been in Boston for a while. He and I have… talked… Mother, I need to tell you something."
"You knew about his affair." Her mother finished.
"I… Yes. How – how did you know?" Maura replied, shocked.
"He told me. Once he admitted that he'd had his affair, we went through many months of therapy and it… came up." Constance sounded sad.
"I'm sorry I never told you, Mother." Maura blurted out.
"Oh my darling! You have no idea how I berated your father once I found out."
"Why didn't you say anything to me?"
"Because I didn't think that it was my place. Your father was supposed to talk to you, but he was always so busy and it was easier for both of us to just pretend that the affair didn't happen."
"While I can understand that, I really wish that someone would have talked to me."
"I'm so sorry, Maura. It was never our intention to cause you hurt." Her mother apologized, sincerely.
Maura was quiet for a full minute, taking in this information. By all rights, she should no longer be angry at just her father, however, she could not find it in her to feel that way towards her mother. She loved her mother and their relationship was better now that it had been when she was young. She wouldn't do anything to mess that up, now. Finally, she sighed. "Thank you for telling me, Mother."
"I really am sorry, Darling."
"I know. I'm not angry." The M.E. said, truthfully. "I just felt that I had to tell you, after all this time."
"Thank you. Are you all right?"
"I am now. Honestly, Mother. I do need to go, though." Maura said. She wanted to go and be home with Jane and with Tasha and maybe even Angela.
"All right, my dearest. Give my love to everyone in Boston. Au revoir."
"I will. Good night, Mother." She ended her call. She thought for a moment. She felt better, now, knowing that her mother knew and wasn't upset with her. Maura suddenly wanted to speak to Jane. She sent her girlfriend a text and got a reply right away. Jane was as ready to go home as she was. Gathering her things, Maura let the detective know that she would meet her at the car.
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Maura was feeling better when she left the house the next morning to get the papers notarised for her father. She and Jane had stayed up late – not talking. Jane hadn't really wanted to talk about her father and his small mind. She did play a voicemail that she'd gotten from Tommy for Maura, just after they'd gotten into bed. It had made them both laugh.
"Hey, Jane. I just wanted to let you know that I talked to Pop. I'm real sorry, Janie. He shouldn'ta said those things to you. What you and Maura have is a beautiful thing and I told Pop the same thing. Listen, Janie, don't believe what he said about Ma, ya know. She loves you and Maura and that's the whole truth. And I totally think that you and Maura are gonna be the best parents. I can't wait to meet my little niece or nephew. Oh and TJ says Hi, too. Love ya, big sis.
"Tommy may have taken a little while to grow up, but once he did, I keep being really impressed with him." Jane had said. "I mean, I know he likes you and all, but I didn't expect him to take my side over Pop."
"Well," Maura pointed out, "after the last time your father visited, I'm not surprised. I still cringe when I think of that dinner."
Jane shivered and made a face. "Me too." Then she grinned. "Tommy thinks we're gonna be good parents."
Maura leaned forward, her lips finding Jane's, even in the relative darkness of their room. "I happen to agree with him." She said, before capturing Jane's lips again.
Before they fell asleep, wrapped in each other and covered in a warm downy quilt, Jane had yawned and said, "I think we are gonna be good parents, too."
Waking up, still wrapped around Jane, feeling her girlfriend's skin on her own had made the M.E. very optimistic about how the day was going to go. That is, until she sent a text to her father to let him know that the papers were done and he could come collect them. He sent her a reply almost right away, wanting to know where to meet. Suddenly, the idea that she would see him again had caused Maura's anxiety to climb.
She stood at the bar in the Dirty Robber, feeling her heart beat quicken as she waited for him to show up. Angela was on shift, something that Maura was grateful for, even if the Rizzoli matriarch didn't know it. Another effect of telling her mother that she knew about the affair had been that Maura no longer felt the need to keep the affair a secret any longer. While Jane had showered after work, Maura had helped Angela in the kitchen and she had opened up to the older woman. Angela hadn't said much, but when Maura was finished, she gave her a long hug. Sometimes, Maura liked to imagine that Angela was really her mother, and that she'd received hugs like that all her life.
As soon as her father walked in, Maura felt the old anger rise in her and she did her best to tamp it down. She was only partially successful, because, when her father asked her to accompany him to an Anthropological lecture that night, Maura turned him down. He was obviously disappointed, but he left the bar with little fuss. Once he was gone, Maura was immediately sad and angry at herself.
"Can I ask you something?" Angela asked, gently.
"You want to know why I don't want to repair my relationship with my father, even though it's obvious that he is reaching out and trying to breach the chasm that has grown between us over the years." Maura asked.
Angela paused, a small smile on her lips. "Actually, I was going to ask if you liked those lectures when you were a girl."
"Oh." Maura was surprised. "Yes. They were fascinating."
Angela rolled her eyes and snorted softly – so much like Jane it made the doctor smile. "Sounds like a snooze-fest to me. But, since you brought it up, why don't you want to fix your relationship with your father?"
That gave Maura pause as she tried to put into words why she couldn't bring herself to be around her father. "He lives his life. I live mine. That's how it's been ever since he cheated. I've come to accept that." She finally said. It was an inadequate reason and she knew it. So did Angela.
"You know, when your kids are little, they look up to you. You are their whole world. But, uh, parents are not perfect." Maura felt a pang at her words. She was about to be a parent and she knew that she was far from a perfect person. Would this child look up to her the way Angela was talking about? "I'm not excusing what your father did," the older woman went on, "He made a mistake – one that has caused you so much pain and… anger. Why hold on to that, Maura?"
Truthfully, the M.E. replied, "At this point, I'm not certain I know how to let it go."
Angela placed a hand over Maura's on the bar. "Well, you've lived with it so long, maybe you should try something different and see what happens." She paused and gave her second daughter a motherly smile. "Baby steps."
Maura spent the rest of the afternoon mulling over Angela's advice. By the time Jane called to tell her that they had made an arrest, she felt as though something had shifted inside of her. When her girlfriend strode into her office and plunked down on her couch, Maura couldn't help but smile. Her eyes took in the dark grey t-shirt and maternity slacks that Jane wore with her sensible boots and seemingly untameable hair. This was her happiness and she was ready to leave the past where it should be.
"You ready to go?" The detective inquired.
"Just about. First, though, there's something I want to say."
Jane frowned. "Is this gonna be a proclamation?"
Maura rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "I am who I am because of the things that have happened in my life. The good and the bad."
Jane sighed. "Sounds proclamation-y." She grumbled.
Maura continued, ignoring her girlfriend. "My relationships with my family have been… challenging at times, and they have certainly had a significant influence on who I am. But other people have been just as important." The M.E. smiled as she saw the comprehension on Jane's face.
"Do you mean super smart and funny people who are amazing kissers and who totally love you?" Jane's dimples were deep and her dark eyes sparkled.
"To say the least," Maura affirmed. "If it wasn't for you, Jane, and your family, I think that I would be one of those people that's sitting home, alone, on a Friday night reading medical journals. Instead, I'm heading out for the night surrounded by friends."
"Oh please, you love those medical journals," Jane said, smirking. She sat forward and reached for Maura's hand. The blonde took it and squeezed, feeling pressure in return.
"That's true. But you all keep me so busy that I never run out of new ones."
"In that case, you're welcome. Come on, let's go meet Korsak's mystery woman." Jane let go of her hand so that she could lever herself off of the couch. Maura stood, too, and grinned when the tall brunette offered her arm. She took it, leaning her head against Jane's should just for a moment before they left her office.
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Maura was dressed in her favourite pair of pajamas – a pair of black shorts and a large BPD t-shirt that she'd appropriated from Jane years ago – and sitting on the sofa reading a medical journal when Jane walked through the door. She looked up with a smile.
"Hey," Jane greeted her, stopping at the door to put away her gun and badge and to take off her boots.
"Hi." Maura replied. "Need any help."
The lanky brunette grunted as she bent over, but shook her head. "Naw. I can still touch my toes."
Maura giggled. "Did you have fun, tonight?"
Jane didn't answer until she had removed her boots. Then she straightened, looking red-faced and breathing a little harder than normal. Maura wondered when she was going to finally admit that she needed help getting her shoes on and off. Jane hated asking for help, so it probably wouldn't be soon.
"We did. I wish you would have stayed. Kiki is really funny. It's no wonder Vince is so…" Jane looked for words, but they wouldn't come.
"Besotted." Maura provided. She'd seen the way the older cop had looked at his girlfriend that evening. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that the man was deeply in love.
"Ooh, good word." Jane came into the living room and sat beside her girlfriend on the couch. She raised her arm and the smaller woman immediately ducked under it and curled into the brunette's side. "How about you? Did you enjoy the lecture?"
"I did. It was thoroughly enjoyable." Maura told her. Jane closed her eyes and made a light snoring sound. Maura rolled her eyes and slapped her girlfriend's knee in admonishment. Jane opened her eyes and grinned. "And afterwards, my father came back here for some tea. He met Tasha."
"That's great, Honey. I'm happy that you and he are working through things."
"Me, too. I am really glad that I listened to your mother. Oh… and I told him about us." Maura said.
"He didn't know?"
"No. My mother hadn't told him – she didn't think it was her place."
"What did he say?" Jane wanted to know.
"He was happy for us, Jane. He said that he couldn't wait to meet his newest grandchild. He said that he would make a trip up here after the baby is born, just so he can meet him or her." Maura's voice was heavy with unshed tears – tears of joy.
Jane turned a little so that she could put both arms around the M.E.. The things that her father had said to her were still bothering her, but she didn't want to talk about it. At least Maura's side of the family was happy for them. Maura sighed happily and leaned into Jane's embrace.
They stayed like that for a while. Jane finally said, "I don't know about you, but I'm beat. Someone – who shall remain nameless – kept me up late last night."
Maura nodded, smirking. "Poor thing. I didn't hear you complaining last night. In fact, I believe you said -"
"- That was sexy me. Sexy me says a lot of things." Jane interrupted. Maura's smirk deepened. "Tonight, I just want to sleep."
"All right. Let's go to bed." Maura agreed.