"I want to help," Joyce said as she slowed the car in front of Giles' apartment.
"Are you sure, I mean research can be pretty boring and you have to work," Buffy said turning to face her mother from the passenger seat.
"We need to put a stop to this as soon as we can so an extra pair of eyes could only be helpful right," Joyce said unbuckling her seatbelt, a determined look on her face.
"Okay I guess I'm sure the gang would be glad to have some extra help," Buffy said unbuckling her own seatbelt and stepping out of the car.
"Yes well the sooner we get this sorted out the easier I will sleep at night," Joyce said opening Faith's side door. The toddler awoke as her mother unstrapped her from the car seat and reached her arms up for Joyce to pick her up. Once she was settled she rested her head back against her mother's chest and put her thumb back in her mouth.
"Did you have a nice nap baby?" Buffy asked her smiling when Faith nodded at her, her eyes still bleary with sleep.
"You've had a tough day haven't you sweetheart," Joyce said smiling down at her fondly and brushing some hair away from her eyes. Faith nodded around a yawn taking Mr. Darcy from Buffy when she offered her the toy.
"Well we're going to see Grandpa Giles and the gang now so that will be fun," Buffy said smiling as they walked towards Giles' front door.
"Wilwow?" Faith mumbled around her thumb.
"Yeah baby Willow will be there," Buffy said as she rang the doorbell. Giles came to the door and greeted them all with a smile, "Hi girls did you have a good weekend?" he asked.
"Mostly," Joyce replied.
"Splendid, come on in," he said moving out of the way so they could enter. Buffy frowned when she passed him knowing that Angel had called like he promised he would to inform Giles what was going on, still she wondered why he was being so chipper. Her Watcher seemed to read her mind, "don't want to worry her," he said to her quietly.
"It's the Summers," Xander smiled warmly as they came into the living room, various members of the Scoobies sprawled across the couches, books spread out around them.
"Hey guys," Buffy said as she came and flopped down onto the couch on one side of Willow. Joyce smiled at him as she got up and offered her his seat on the couch settling herself on the other side of Willow. Faith lifted her head from her mother's shoulder noticing that Willow was next to her and climbed over and plopped herself down on the redhead's lap settling her head beneath the witches chin.
"Hey sweetie did you have a good trip to see Angel?" Willow asked brushing some strands of hair out of the toddler's face. Faith nodded her thumb still placed firmly in her mouth.
"Why so quiet Faithy?" Xander asked plopping himself down on the floor between Anya's legs.
"She's still a little sleepy she's had a big weekend," Joyce said placing a hand on her daughter's back.
"I feel you Faith I'm a little sleepy myself after Xander kept me up all night doing umph," Anya was cut off by Xander placing a hand over her mouth his ears red with embarrassment. Giles cleared his throat from where he stood behind the couch cleaning his glasses, "Yes well uh if we could just perhaps focus on the matter at hand. I have spoken with Wesley and Angel and they have informed me of the spell the Council used and also the events of the past weekend so I thought it might be useful if we looked into the origins of the spell and also into those whom it has been cast in previous times."
"Well I guess Giles and I should take the magicky stuff and you guys can look into those on the receiving end and maybe into memory erasing," Willow said.
"Faithy do you want to play with some toys for a bit while we do some reading?" Buffy asked her sister but Faith shook her head seemingly content with sitting with the redheaded witch for awhile.
"You know what I would like," Xander said after an hour of researching, "a demon or spell casting crazy who isn't so mysterious and isn't afraid to show themself and tell us exactly what they plan to do and how they plan to do it," he grumbled turning another page in the book he was reading.
"I'd like to protest on the behalf of spell casting crazies," Willow smirked letting Xander know she was joking.
"I don't know how you all do this without your head turning to mush," Joyce said holding her head in her hands.
"Are you alright mom?" Buffy asked.
"Yes I'm fine just a little headache from reading for so long," Joyce grimaced as she sat back up.
"If they didn't make this writing so damn small maybe we all wouldn't end up cross eyed, hey maybe that's why Giles has to wear glasses he's actually cross eyed from reading books so much," Anya said as usually thinking her thoughts out loud.
The group settled back into silence until a loud rumbling came from Faith who had moved from Willow's lap and onto Buffy's.
"Oh my god Faith was that your stomach?" Buffy laughed.
"Yeah," the toddler giggled, "it's very empty so it's sad so it made a sad noise," she continued putting her hand on her stomach.
"Well we can't have that can we I would hate for your tummy to be sad," Joyce smiled along with the rest of the group; the little girl could put a smile on even the coldest of hearts.
"Will sandwiches do?" Giles asked as he followed Joyce into his kitchen their conversation filtering lightly back into the living room.
"So Faithy what did you do at Angels?" Willow asked as Buffy played with the hem of the toddler's shirt.
"We went to the ackarium and I learned lots and lots about fishies from Fred, she's real nice and then Lorne told me lots and lots of stories and Gunn showed me his playstation and Cordy and me are a team and Angel and me had ice cream and he read me stories and I gaved him my Piderman so it could look after him," Faith finished taking a deep breath.
"Wait a second hold the phone here you gave him your Spiderman! That was the coolest one you had," Xander pouted.
"Aww don't worry Xander I'm sure she will let you play with one of her other action figures," Buffy laughed at his distressed looking face.
"Yeah well I'm just saying people can't spot a good superhero when they see one," Xander mumbled.
"Oh and Xander Cordelia says to tell you she is glad your pizza delivery career is going good," Faith told him seriously.
"Oh that's just great even when she's not in the city she finds a way to make me feel like crap," Xander said his voice raising. Faith's eyes widened as he yelled her lower lip trembling and tears starting to fall down her cheeks.
"What the hell Xander you know she's had a rough day already," Buffy frowned at him as she stood lifting Faith into her arms as the toddler buried her head in Buffy's shoulder, "it's okay baby it's okay Xander wasn't angry at you he's just frustrated," Buffy glared at him over the top of Faith's head as the toddler sobbed into her shoulder.
"Oh god Faithy I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell at you I'm just frustrated like Buffy said I'm not angry at you I promise," Xander stood up next to the sisters and placing his hand on Faith's back.
"Come on Faithy don't cry you'll make me cry and then I'll look like a sissy boy in front of my girls," Xander pleaded, "I'm really sorry kiddo."
"S'ok," Faith hiccupped lifting her head and looking at him with tear stained cheeks. He smiled and kissed her on the cheek and ruffling her hair, she hiccupped again and leant back against Buffy.
"Come on baby let's go and see how mom and Grandpa Giles are doing getting us lunch," Buffy said turning and walking towards the kitchen.
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"Sweetheart do you think you could take Faith with you?" Joyce asked her eldest daughter.
"Why what are you going to do?" Buffy asked as she got ready to leave the house.
"I'm not feeling very well I'm going to lie down for a bit," Joyce said and Buffy noticed for the first time that her mother did indeed look a little pale.
"Are you okay?" Buffy asked concerned.
"I'll be fine it's just a stress headache, I'll be back to normal after a lie down," Joyce smiled holding a hand to her daughter's cheek.
"I'm meant to be going to talk to Riley," Buffy said her unvoiced question of what am I going to do with her lingering in the air.
"You can take the car with you; she might drop off on the way that might make it easier. I'm sorry honey I would let her stay here but I really just can't concentrate right now with this headache," Joyce said.
"No, no that's okay you rest we'll leave you be for a bit. Where is she anyway?" Buffy asked.
"I sent her upstairs to get changed because she spilt ketchup on her clothes at Giles' place," Joyce said.
"Okay well I'll go get her and then head over to Riley's. Hope you feel better," Buffy kissed her mother on the cheek as they parted at the top of the stairs. The blonde Slayer opened the door to Faith's bedroom and smiled at what she saw. Faith was sitting in the middle of the floor wearing a navy blue tank top with pink and yellow writing on it and her underwear playing with her action figures obviously having gotten distracted halfway through getting changed.
"Faithy where's the rest of your clothes?" Buffy asked as she walked over to the toddler's closet.
"I'm wearing them," Faith replied simply continuing to play with her toys.
"But you've got no pants on," Buffy said pulling out a pair of pink knit shorts out of the closet.
"I didn't wanna," the toddler stated and Buffy was overwhelmed with a vision of teenage Faith stating something very similar.
"Okay well put these on because you and I are going to go for a drive," Buffy said holding the shorts out to her. While Faith put them on Buffy went back to the closet and pulled out a pair of Ugg boots and came back over helping the toddler put them on. Buffy made sure she grabbed the stuffed cow from the young girls' bed before they walked out.
"Where are we going? Why isn't Mama coming with us?" Faith asked as Buffy closed the front door behind them.
"Mom has a headache so she's lying down for a bit, we're just going for a little drive around town," Buffy replied hoisting Faith up and into her car seat. Buffy really didn't want Faith to be awake when they went to see Riley, it was going to be hard enough on its own without worrying about how the toddler would react in the moment.
Twenty minutes later however it seemed that Faith had no intention of making it easier for her sister. The toddler chatted away to herself, to her sister and even to her the stuffed cow she held in her arms. Buffy frowned, she knew her sister wasn't being intentionally stubborn but it was still frustrating usually trips in the car put her right to sleep.
"Hey baby do you feel like something to eat?" Buffy asked feeling her stomach grumble, 'the joys of being a Slayer' she thought to herself. They went through the drive thru and Buffy ordered their food handing back a packet of fries to Faith. She gave up on her original plan and figured they could distract Faith with the television whilst they were talking.
As she pulled into the parking lot outside of Riley's dorm she smirked when she looked into the rearview mirror when she saw Faith snoozing Mr. Darcy in one hand and a half eaten French frie in the other. "Never fails," she chuckled softly to herself as she got out of the car. She gently took the packet from the toddler's lap and placed it on the seat next to her, she took the frie out of her hand and put it in her mouth as she unbuckled the car seat's restraints.
She lifted Faith into her arms and rested the young girl's head on her shoulder, holding her breath as she felt Faith stir. She let out a sigh of relief didn't wake but screwed her face a little when she realised Faith had unconsciously grabbed a hold of some of her blonde hair and had stuck it in her mouth along with her thumb. Locking the car behind her she took a deep breath as she looked up at the fraternity building, "Here we go," she said under her breath.
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She knocked quietly on the door to Riley's room and waited until the soldier opened up. He was expecting her so it didn't take long. He looked apprehensive but welcomed her with a smile.
"You brought Faith," he said seeming a little confused. He knew what this conversation was going to be about, didn't really seem like the sort of thing a four year old would enjoy.
"Mom's not feeling well so I'm taking her off her hands for a few hours. She's had a pretty emotional weekend though so she's pretty tired, should sleep for a few hours. Uh may I?" Buffy motioned to his bed.
"What, uh, yeah of course," Riley said waving his hand. The blonde Slayer leant down and laid the toddler down on his bed, gently disentangling her hair from in-between Faith's small fingers.
"How was your weekend?" the soldier asked as she straightened up.
"Weird, stressful, not long enough," Buffy said, "how was yours?"
"Busy, guess the vampires and demons knew the Slayer was out of town."
"Right, uh sorry about that." Buffy cringed inwardly. There should be a rule against awkward small talk, it always seemed to make everybody nervous and uncomfortable and always made hard conversations even harder.
"So," they both said at the same time breaking the uncomfortable silence.
"You go," Riley said.
"Uh okay. Well I've been thinking a lot about us ever since things were revealed and well I care for you Riley I really do but I just don't think we're going to work I'm sorry," Buffy said.
"Is this because I didn't tell you about what I did because I had orders not to Buffy and I told you my work has nothing to do with how I feel about you," Riley said looking completely crushed.
"It's not just that. What I do is so much more than a job, it's my destiny and I need people in my life that I can trust wholly and completely and when I think about how our relationship started in the first place well I think we would be kidding ourselves if we said it was anything but a lie. I lied to you and you lied to me and that's no way to live. How could we trust anything the other said from here on in?" Buffy said.
"Couldn't we at least give it a try? I don't want to lose you Buffy you're like no one I've ever met before," Riley said reaching out to her his eyes pleading with her to give him another chance.
"I'm sorry Riley, I care for you but I don't love you, love has to be there from the start and I, I just don't think it is I'm sorry," Buffy bit her lip as a single tear made its way down her cheek. This wasn't easy for her, she did care for him and it would be hard to lose him but she knew that what they had could never be anything more.
"How can you say that? We've only been going out for a month, you can't just not love someone after a month you have to give it a chance, give us a chance," Riley said trying to pull her towards him.
"You're wrong. It would be there from the beginning. Love should be passionate, it should be exciting, it should be intense and comfortable at the same time, and it should be just a little bit scary but we don't have that, I don't feel that and I think if you looked hard enough you would feel the same thing," Buffy said.
"You're wrong, you're so wrong, you have no idea how I feel and you're just going to throw a perfectly good thing away because it isn't life or death," Riley said his voice rising just a little.
"It should be life or death. It should kill you if the other person is not around and you should feel more alive when they are, I'm sorry," she said cupping his face with her hand.
"So what do we do now? Is that it forever? We never see each other this is just the end?" Riley asked placing his hand over hers. He knew she had been upset with all the things that had been said the other day but he really hadn't thought she would break up with him, he obviously didn't know her as well as he thought he did.
"I don't know, I really don't. I don't think I want you out of my life completely but maybe just for now we should not see each other for awhile, just so we can get used to being apart and then maybe, god this sounds lame, maybe we could be friends," Buffy sighed lowering her hand.
Riley laughed, "Yeah friends, god I hate this, like I can go from being able to kiss you and see you every day and then suddenly nothing," he sighed sitting down on the edge of his bed head in hands.
"I know," Buffy said softly sitting next to him.
"So this is it. You'll, will you call me when you think we can be friends? 'Cause I, I don't want you out of my life Buffy," Riley said looking at her, despair floating behind his eyes.
"I will I promise," she said standing from his bed.
"I'll miss her too you know," Riley said looking at the toddler sleeping on his bed.
"I know you will, she'll miss you too," Buffy said stroking Faith's hair lovingly.
"Buffy, I know this is going to sound pathetic and needy but if you, if you ever reconsider things just know that I will be here and willing because as much as you don't think I do I love you but if this is what you think you need to do to be happy I guess there is nothing I can say that could change your mind," Riley said standing next to her.
"Thank you," she said walking forward and wrapping her arms around him. He leaned down and embraced her breathing in her scent deeply, memorising this moment when he would hold her in his arms for probably the last time.
"I'll walk you guys down," he said softly as she stepped from his arms and went to get Faith, "its okay I've got her," he said stepping in and lifting the toddler into his arms.
They walked to the car and Riley strapped Faith into her car seat, he leaned in and kissed the toddler on the forehead sighing sadly he closed the side door and turned to face Buffy.
"So not goodbye, not forever, how about a I'll see you later," she said.
"Just, just promise me you'll think about this," he said.
"I will but I've made up my mind for now at least, so goodbye Riley I'll see you later," she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. He watched as the Jeep disappeared down the street getting smaller and smaller until it finally vanished from sight. Hanging his head the soldier turned and walked slowly back into his dorm.
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"So she ended it with me," Riley said as he took off his shirt and sat down on the cool metal table.
"I'm sorry to hear that I know you cared about her," Professor Walsh said as she watched the doctor prepare the injection.
"What about the mission? What are you going to do now she won't come in now?" Riley said.
"That's alright we'll figure something else out don't worry about it," she said her voice soothing him. She had been like his mother ever since he had joined the Initiative and he felt comfortable talking with her.
"Now Riley we were looking at your last test results and they were a little low so we've decided to up the dosage on your vitamins," Professor Walsh said.
"Okay whatever you think is best," the soldier replied watching as the doctor approached him with a syringe filled with a yellow liquid.
"It is for the best," Professor Walsh said nodding for the doctor to proceed, "you'll see soon you won't be worrying about trying to win back Buffy Summers."
A/N: I have been on a chapter posting spree. Reviews please, they keep me going.