A/N: Hope you're still enjoying the story. Reviews please!
Chapter 25
Tegan's condition continued to improve every day. Kate walked into the family room where the support team was gathered for their daily official update. Stephen and Bruce were there again as it was weekend. "I just had a look at Tegan's latest test results" Kate reported. "Everything looks good, her lungs are clear and so much stronger. I think we're ready to take her off the ecmo" she said smiling. A collective sigh of relief could be heard. "Are you sure she's strong enough Kate?" Asked Sonia concerned. "Well, she'll still be on the vent, it will be breathing for her but her lungs and not the machine will be doing the work again, oxygenating her blood. We'll see how she copes with the vent but I'm positive that we can get her off that too in the next few days. The longer we wait the more difficult it becomes to get her off the ecmo. The body can only tolerate it so long and the risks will start increasing from here. She's ready, she's been working hard. We've been weaning her off ecmo bit by bit over the last few days. She coped just fine. Yesterday we bypassed the ecmo completely for half an hour and she was fine. I didn't want to get your hopes up just yet so I didn't tell you. We'll be taking her back into surgery in an hour. Surgery always has some kind of risk involved though. Hold thumbs and send lots of love and light" said Kate looking confident.
The team was sitting in the stuffy family room a few minutes after Tegan was taken to pre-op. Nobody spoke, everybody lost in their own thoughts and prayers for Tegan. Sara looked noticeably on edge. Her leg was jumping up and down quickly again. She had a rough couple of days. Tegan was getting better but Sara still could not shake her anxiety. Emy entered her mind frequently and she was hating herself more and more for not having the guts to pick up the phone and call her or to at least write her back. She hardly slept, a mixture of worry, anger and longing always swam around in her chest. She got up, walked around and sat back down a number of times. She was freaking out knowing her twin was in surgery again. Erin turned to her "you know in the days of the cavemen, adrenaline was there to help you run away from physical threats, from mountain lions and bears and stuff… But you know… These days our mountain lions are emotional… It's stress, it's in our heads. But our minds don't know the difference between an emotional threat and a physical threat so it produces the same amount of adrenaline and we don't use all that built up adrenaline" she said. Sara looked at her suspiciously. "Yeah so… What are you a shrink now?" she mumbled. "So, when I feel a rush of adrenaline I run it off because it fucks me up physically. I imagine a lion chasing me and I run… Sometimes I scream… Let's run Sara… Let's run up to the roof" she said, her face emotionless. "Run from this lion…" said Sara.
Sara and Erin stood in the emergency stairwell, both already breathing heavy in anticipation. "Go, run from the lion Erin" said Sara as they started running up the stairs. Sara ran as fast as her short legs and her now unfit body could carry her. The imaginary lion was on her heels and she felt the adrenaline coursing through her body forcing her legs to continue. Erin followed close on Sara's heels. She tripped and fell banging her knee hard on the sharp end of one of the steps. She curled in pain. Sara didn't notice and kept running as if her life depended on it.
Sara burst onto the roof and stopped. She bent down and put her hands on her knees panting, struggling to get her breath back. She felt a sharp pain in her side, she hadn't felt that pain since high school PE drills. She stood like that for a few second, suddenly anger and fear overcame her. She turned to the wall and banged her palms on it repeatedly, screaming. Tears of rage were bursting from her eyes. A nail was sticking out from the empty wall and Sara's hand hit it. She pulled it away and held her injured hand with the other, bending over. She looked at it and saw blood slowly seeping from a cut in the fleshy bit above her wrist, under her pinky. The adrenaline was wearing off and the pain slowly increased… Sara didn't mind it, in fact she welcomed it. She focussed on the pain that seemed to take away all her other pain. She stood with her eyes closed, her body started shaking with emotion. She turned back to the wall and opened her eyes…. Sara could feel the rough wall break her skin as she punched it over and over. She couldn't will herself to stop…
Erin came walking up the stairs slowly and saw a wild eyed Sara punching the wall. She felt her knee scream in pain as she sprinted forward. She grabbed Sara from behind with both her arms and held onto her as tight as she could. "Let me go, let me go" screamed Sara. "It's okay Sara, it's okay… Okay" Erin kept repeating as she held onto a raging Sara. Sara slowly stopped struggling, a loud wail escaped her throat. "Aaaaaaahhhggg, everything is so fucked up…. Make it stop" Erin turned Sara around as she started sobbing uncontrollably. "Shhhh, it's okay Sar. Everything's gonna be alright. Just relax. Shhhh, I've got you Sara, I've got you" Sara's body was like a balloon slowly deflating. She started sinking to the ground, still shaking and sobbing in Erin's arms.