Chapter 25

And so the price for loving Qui-Gon Jinn was paid, willingly, but not gladly as Vandalyn had once so boldly promised. After the funeral, Vandalyn spoke briefly to Yoda and then she left Coruscant. She went several places, but finally ended up on Dunal where Zava Ur gave her a small house in a remote area. He assured her she would remain undisturbed and to stay there as long as she wanted. The house was on a cliff overlooking the ocean; it was a tranquil, beautiful spot. Vandalyln remained there for two years, mourning and healing, and – as promised before leaving Coruscant – contacting Yoda from time to time.

Vandalyn used the time to meditate, to think, to heal. During her solitude, she also learned that Qui-Gon was not completely gone. Her understanding started in dreams, vivid dreams of Qui-Gon instructing her as if she was a young padawan again. For many months she denied the dreams, tried to shut them out, but eventually her resistance wore away. Then, and only then, did Qui-Gon's Force Ghost speak to Vandalyn outside her dream-state. He told her how he had discovered how to keep his personality intact as he moved from mortal form to his energy form after he died.

Once Vandalyn realized that part of her lover still existed, her world shifted. Each day part of her heart rejoiced with the sense that Qui-Gon was near her, even if he did not speak to her, and part wept bitterly for often it seemed as if he were so close, yet she could never touch him. It was the same for Qui-Gon. He could be near Vandalyn, but never truly with her.

He watched her often, but mostly from a distance. Qui-Gon knew he could serve as her guide, her mentor when needed. He also knew he could comfort her when needed, but he was also keenly aware that they existed on different planes of existence now, and Vandalyn needed to make her own way through her life. She needed to make her own mistakes, learn her own lessons, just as she had when he was alive. He could be patient. He would have to be; given the long life of most Jedi, it would be many long years before Vandalyn transformed and moved to his plane of existence.

Finally, her soul healed, Vandalyn returned to Coruscant without preamble or announcement. She merely appeared in the Council chamber one afternoon. Yoda was, perhaps, the only one not surprised by her return. Several days later, he asked Vandalyn to meet with him and Mace Windu. When she did, they asked her if she would take over a padawan's training. Orrin Amura, and old and respected Jedi, had passed beyond in his sleep. His padawan, a young woman named, Mari'el, was still in need of a mentor for several more years before she was ready to take on the full responsibility of a Jedi Knight.

Vandalyn accepted, and when she did, they unexpectedly granted her the rank of Master. Most Jedi needed to fully train a padawan before they were considered a full Master. Windu simply pointed out that she had demonstrated her mastery quite clearly two years ago, and that training a padawan was an unnecessary formality in the Council's eyes. During the ensuing five years, Vandalyn learned as much as she taught. Mari'el was intelligent and – truth be told – frosty almost to a fault. They disagreed on many things, but both were better for the relationship.

Ten years to the day from the night she watched the flames consume Qui-Gon's body, Vandalyn returned to the Jedi temple. As she stood there, gazing at the central bier, she felt Qui-Gon's spirit around her, and because he was there, she shed no tears this time. A short time later, however, another presence touched her awareness.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi," she said without turning around. "It has been many years since I have seen you."

"I thought I might find you here, Vandalyn. You look well."

She turned and smiled, and Obi-Wan was pleased to see that there was no lingering pain in her eyes. Behind him was Anakin, who was standing silently, somewhat sullenly, clearly unhappy to be there. Her smile faltered for only a fraction of a moment, but her voice remained cordial.

"Anakin. I have heard many good things about your skill with the light saber."

"Master Mateo," he said formally with a bow. "Thank you. My Master is a very good teacher."

There was a moment of strained silence. She wanted to like Anakin, to see the promise that Qui-Gon had seen in him, but she found she could not. Anakin knew it, deep in his soul, and it only soured him towards Vandalyn more.

"You may go, padawan," said Obi-Wan. "We are done for the day and will resume with your studies in the morning."

"As you wish, Master. Master Mateo." Anakin left them but did not return to his quarters.

"He tries very hard," said Obi-Wan, preempting any comment from Vandalyn.

"Do. Or do not. There is no try," replied Vandalyn, quoting something Master Yoda had told her once. Obi-Wan frowned, and then changed the subject.

"You seem at peace with yourself," he said.

Vandalyn nodded. She knew that Qui-Gon's Force Ghost had not yet spoken to Obi-Wan. "I am. There is still a piece of him that exists within my heart and I find solace in that. But I find I still miss him each day." They remained silent, both sifting through memories of their time with Qui-Gon.

"Have you forgiven yourself, Obi-Wan?" Her voice was soft, but he flinched nonetheless.

"If I had been faster, more adept with my light saber..." His voice trailed away. "If we hadn't been separated, things would be different."

"Yes," she agreed. "Perhaps both of you would be dead now. Perhaps I would be a tool of the Dark Side, having been unable to let go of the anger and the grief. You cannot continue to second-guess what happened in the past. If I learned that lesson, so can you."

"Someday, perhaps," said Obi-Wan. They were silent again for a few minutes. Vandalyn watched him out of the corner of her eye.

"Your beard seems grayer," she said after a few minutes.

Obi-Wan's mouth quirked into a smile. "I believe it is the youngling's doing, especially when he flies… especially when he flies." Vandalyn laughed at that. She had heard stories of Anakin's excessively daring piloting antics. They chatted for a few more minutes, some of the conversation social, some voicing concerns about the increasingly troubling tendencies of the Senate.

They bowed to each other before they parted ways. Vandalyn took the long route back to her quarters. That had been a pleasant surprise when she got back. Rather than empty the room and put her – and Qui-Gon's – belongings into storage, Yoda had ordered the room left empty against her eventual return. A few had grumbled, but Yoda had ignored them, and no one challenged him.

Her steps slowed when she turned the corner. Anakin was waiting for her, his arms folded. He looked up the instant he realized she was there. Vandalyn offered him a smile.

"Anakin. What can I do for you?" She opened the door and gestured him in with a wave of her hand. He came in, but remained silent for a minute, obviously thinking very hard about something.

"Why do you hate me?"

The question caught Vandalyn off-guard. She frowned at Anakin, puzzled. "Hate you? I don't hate you, Anakin. Why do you think that?" As she spoke, she racked her brain trying to remember if there had been any time at all that she'd done something that would have made him think such a thing.

"You blame me. You think it's my fault that Master Jinn died!" His fists were bunch and his shoulders were raised and tight, almost as if he expected a fight.

"No, padawan. You were just a little boy then. It wasn't your fault." She kept her breathing deep and even, maintaining her center. The emotion practically crackled as it came off Anakin, and she was not going to give him any reason to become more agitated.

"You never believed him… you never believed I was the Chosen One. If Master Jinn had never found me, he'd still be alive today. After he died, you never talked to me. You never looked at me."

That small bit of truth stung. "Oh, youngling. It wasn't just you. I didn't really talk to anyone. You were not so special that I only ignored you. I had too much pain to deal with." The instant she finished, Vandalyn knew she'd chosen her words poorly.

Anakin erupted. "I am special!" he shouted. "I'll show you! I'll show you that Master Jinn was right. I am the Chosen One. You'll see! I'll show everyone!" He stormed away, leaving Vandalyn frowning in his wake.

"That," she said softly although no one was around, "is what I fear."

Epilogue

Given the potentially long life granted to Jedi from their affiliation with the Force, Vandalyn and Qui-Gon's reunion came sooner than any ever expected. During that terrible time, when wretched betrayal tore the Jedi apart, Vandalyn threw herself between an enemy and Obi-Wan's unprotected back. It was a selfless, compassionate act, and in the chaos of the fighting, Obi-Wan didn't realize that Vandalyn had taken a mortal wound to save him.

As she lay dying, Vandalyn was satisfied. There would be no bier for her, but there would be no bier for most of the Jedi this time. Only a few would survive this hunt. And Qui-Gon was with her, waiting, as he had been since the day of his own death.

In the moment she released her hold on her old life, another ripple ran through the Force, a profound sensation felt by anyone sensitive to those currents. It was a bright moment of joy amid all of the pain and death as two souls, separated by time and longing, finally came together. That instant of joy brought hope to Yoda and forgiveness to Obi-Wan, and their own spirits rejoiced for a moment amid all their sorrow.

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Well, that's it. This one is done. I really hope you enjoyed this story, and I appreciate all of the reviews and feedback. I'd love to have you check in on my other stories, if you're interested. Thanks again!