Author's Note: Alright! I think it's time for this story to kick into gear, don't you think? Now, these next few chapters will hold the "final" events of Book One. Remember, I'm posting on the 14th and then the 19th and that will conclude the first half of Amnesia. I'm sorry about the awkward posting. I wish I could post on my First Anniversary but things got mixed up and I'll most likely need that time to write. But luckily, I'm able to get these chapters out to you sooner and today, I could post earlier than usual too :) On to reading!

A Previous Summary: After countless attempts, Raven is getting nowhere with the skill. Her frustration and exhaustion only seem to slow her down, no matter how many times she tries to use her powers. Since she's getting tired, Robin agrees to give her some time off, hoping it would help her recover her lost energy. Raven spends her day relaxing at the Tower. She hangs out with Beast Boy for a while, entertained by video games and a delicious lunch, before she decides to bring Cyborg some food. She finds him in the garage, where he is working on what remained of the T-car that had been destroyed by Cinderblock. Raven relaxes some more and the day is mostly uneventful until Robin and Starfire returns from their errands. By accident, she overhears Robin consoling Starfire about an earlier incident, though Raven is confused to what they are referring to. She could only suspect that it is nothing good.

Amnesia

Chapter 25: Darker Shades

Another two days went by in the same, sluggish manner: I would wake up, eat a few meals throughout the day, spend time relaxing either on my own or with other Titans, shower, and get to bed at a reasonable time. It was Tuesday now and the break had lasted long enough; I needed to keep practicing if I was ever going to learn those skills.

We both knew it was inevitable but I was dreading it. Robin was too so I purposely waited for him to bring it up. When he had entered the Main Ops room that morning, I had gazed at him expectantly. Despite the domino mask concealing his eyes, his expression was both stern and sympathetic. Robin didn't need to say anything for me to understand.

"Same place as usual?" I had asked him and Robin nodded. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Take your time, Raven."

A few minutes later, I was back in my room and I was already feeling stressed. I had been predicting for the same, negative results to occur again, as they did every time we had tried it. Nothing much has changed between us either. Robin looked tired too but he spoke to me with inspiration and wisdom.

"We aren't going to rush anything today. It's been a while so you should take it easy."

I had to suppress the urge to roll my eyes. Instead, I inhaled and sighed, trying to alleviate the aching feeling in my chest. My legs folded into the lotus position as I levitated off the floor. Robin pulled up the chair and sat across from me as always.

"Do you want to meditate first before we-?"

"No, it's fine," I answered hurriedly. "We'll just get started right away."

Robin didn't seem comfortable with this but he didn't object. He sat back quietly into his seat and allowed me to proceed.

I chanted my mantra in a hushed tone, dulling my emotions to enable a safe control of my powers. My focus was directed to my astral projection, willing myself to be free. I was surged with energy and by using it, I attempted to detach my soul. I didn't know what I done differently this time, but there was already a significant difference in comparison to all of my other previous attempts. I almost didn't believe it: I knew what it could mean but I refused to jump to conclusions.

By now, I was noticing some peculiar symptoms as my meditation continued and my focus grew deeper. My body temperature plummeted down the scale to a dangerous number and I winced at this mild discomfort. Actually, the more I thought about it, it genuinely felt like I was being peeled away from myself. I was starting to feel lighter as if I was being lifted into the air, however, something seemed to be anchoring me. While my chest rose, my stomach plummeted like a weight. At this, my first instinct was to shut my eyes tighter and urge myself to keep going.

I guess it had been so painstaking slow, my soul emerging one fragment every eternity, that I didn't realize what I had been doing until I had the courage to risk my concentration and open my eyes. When I did, the agonizing weight in my stomach dropped and I was released. Before me, there was a distorted view of Robin shifting anxiously in the chair. My floating, passive body wasn't too far away from him.

Did I just-?

I hovered unsteadily in the air for a moment, giving myself time to process. The next feeling I experienced was a sense of euphoria. It showed me a whole new meaning to freedom. My body was weightless, nearly massless. I drifted like an opaque cloud of black mist and it had a faint yet highlighting white aura. My figure had a humane sculpture that often blurred as I tried to move. Yes, I was bendable‒moldable even. I wasn't living nor dead.

I was a dark spirit without a host.

I did it! I exclaimed. Yes! I-!

I stopped myself and froze mid-air. My lips weren't moving‒in fact, I appeared to be lacking a mouth‒but my voice echoed like a whisper within a cave. Speaking aloud barely created noise and it didn't seem to disturb anything, no matter how hard I tried; Robin had yet to notice anything.

There has to be another way to talk with him, I told myself. Speaking like this won't be very effective...

I used telepathy to contact Robin, who had remained motionless in the chair. It had happened so quickly that Robin was completely unaware of my achievement. I was eager to share the news with him.

Robin, hey! I think I did it.

The leader of the Titans opened his eyes but he didn't see me right away. He inspected my soulless body, preparing to question me until I called his name again. Robin looked up, clearly surprised to see me flying above his head. He then gave me a wide, approving smile.

"Wow!" he praised me. "Look at ya! That's amazing!"

Did I do it right?

"Yeah! I think so. Looks about right..."

I meant to look down at my own hands but I was startled when I saw right through them instead. My body was translucent so I could see past myself, like a tinted glass, and it made everything else beyond it blurry and distorted. Actually, it kind of shocked me so much so that I had to stop myself and put my hands away where I couldn't see them. If I had a heart, it would've been convulsing with fright.

"You should try moving around a bit," Robin told me, noticing my uneasiness. "Everything's gonna be strange so it'll take a while to get used to it. See what you can do!"

Obeying Robin's suggestion, I toyed around with my powers by interacting with whatever I could find in my bedroom. At first, I could only pass through every solid within my contact but if I concentrated hard enough, my astral form could be dense enough to affect anything. At one point, I was holding a jar of sand in one hand and a book in the other as a way of demonstrating to Robin what I could do. He then helped me put them safely away because I was worried about damaging them while in this vulnerable state.

"How does it feel?" the masked boy asked me as he returned to his seat.

I can't describe it, I answered. It's simply incredible.

"I can imagine."

I just can't believe I'm doing it, Robin! I'm finally doing it! It's working!

"And I'm glad to hear it's going well!"

My laugh echoed around my bedroom. I felt like my insanity had been compromised but I had become so candidly happy that I didn't care. I was finally doing it! I was doing something that seemed so impossible and now here I am, and I still have trouble believing it. For all I knew, it could've been a dream because happiness like this is a rarity to me.

Robin gave me some more time practice before he brought up the subject of my confidence. In all honesty, I was pretty comfortable at the moment. It didn't take long for me to get used to the new perspective but I knew Robin had other challenges for me to do.

I guess I'm kind of nervous, I confessed apologetically.

"I can understand that," he replied. "Do you wanna get back into this tomorrow?"

No, it's fine. Can we talk about it first?

"Okay. Now, it might get a little tricky here, but as long as you focus like before, you'll be just fine."

What do I do again exactly?

"You'll have to...uhh, 'possess' me, really."

So I just go inside you? I inquired through our mental connection.

"Basically. I guess you kinda...step inside me and the rest is up to you."

I still don't understand why it has to be you, Robin, I sighed. Can't I practice on something else before I waltz into your body?

"There's nothing but me to work with here, Raven. And I'm okay with it. We have a connection, remember? So it'll be easier if you do it on me anyway. Plus, I trust you, Raven. You should put some trust in yourself too."

But I still don't know how I'm supposed to do it. I don't understand how exactly to possess someone or even where to start...

"It's probably going to take a while to get the hang of it. You'll hafta experiment a bit."

The idea seemed very empowering. Dictating an individual's actions against their free will was against my morals. If used incorrectly, this could be considered a form of torture and abuse, like a skill that only a psychopath would want to perform. Manipulating victims wasn't an ability that I wanted to perfect, especially if I were doing it to one of the Titans. Also, I feared the thought of being the victim of possession: how could I do something like that to another person?

I don't know, I told Robin. I'm kind of stuck on what to do...

"Raven, I want to help you," Robin insisted. "This is about getting better, right?"

Well, yeah...

"You've DONE this before, Raven, and you shouldn't forget a valuable skill like that. It's come in handy plenty of times and believe me; you'll be relieved when this is over. We just gotta finish this and then you're done. I promise."

I knew what Robin had meant. After all, I did what I wanted to do: I've stressed about doing this for ages now! I stressed about waiting until tomorrow and not being able to replicate these results again. We had both gone through so much already and I didn't want to stop just yet: it was the idea of actually possessing someone that made me want to stop.

"It's all about taking risks," Robin added. "You can't learn if you don't something you haven't done before."

Robin did have a point. After all, it directly associates with my amnesia. If connecting to the past is our plan to cure my amnesia, then I would have to learn about possession and the other more powerful forms of my dark energy. I would have to meet the dangers of my abilities.

I didn't want to admit it though; possessing Robin was strictly against my nature. However, I didn't need to flip the coin to know the truth: obviously, a part of me saw this as an opportunity and wanted to take advantage of it. I had been resisting these devious thoughts, scolding myself that possession should only be used in either emergencies or dire scenarios. Besides, I shouldn't be playing with this kind of necromancy. A mistake could lead to calamitous consequences.

This skill came straight out of a fantasy novel and it matches against God's divine powers. Could I really sustain that much force and what could I do with that much control?

Any other advice? I asked weakly.

"The whole idea is to be swift and quick. It's not about overpowering me. Think of it more like influencing me."

I nodded at that: Okay.

"Like I said, take your time, Raven. This isn't something that can be done right away. It might take more than a few tries before it actually works."

Okay, I think I got it now. I understand.

"When you think you're ready, go for it, okay? This is your power, not mine. You do what you need to do to get there."

I'll do my best.

Robin reclined himself into the chair and I hovered right in front of him. He gave an encouraging look through his mask before he shut his eyes, anticipating my next move. I extended my hand towards him, not wanting to rush the delicate process. My translucent fingers had only grazed his arm for an instant but there was enough evidence to suggest a significant difference.

I was greeted by a pleasant sensation, both thrilling and comforting. Robin's skin was emitting the warmth that my soul-self lacked and the simple gesture brought me to a great catharsis, but the feeling wasn't negative at all. It was enough to make me swoon and I realized how badly I needed it. I suddenly remembered how cold I felt and by reaching out for Robin, I regained the warmth that was left behind in my hollow cocoon of skin. However, the masked leader of the Titans had a more conflicting reaction.

My touch seemed to harm him in some way because he flinched at my contact. Immediately, I recoiled my hand, but as soon as I pulled away, I almost regretted it. The fervor vanished without a trace, causing me to feel disoriented. I felt like a patient whose body is recovering from the influence of morphine. They didn't want it to stop. They only wanted more of it‒they wanted to continue to experience the dubious euphoria of the drugs, even though they were aware that the emotion was false. That addicting warmth through Robin's body was enough to startle me but I was able to stop myself when I noticed his discomfort. Robin peeked an eye open through his mask.

"Hey. Everything alright, Raven?"

Yeah, I stammered, almost breathlessly. Yeah, I'm fine. What about you? Did I do something wrong?

"I just got the chills," he assured me, forcing a little laugh. "But I'm all good now."

Although training like this was routine, Robin was acting differently than he normally did. He was tense, as if expecting pain, and his heart was quaking with both excitement and terror. I could already sense his anxiety, which made me suspicious.

Alright. I guess I'll go on now...if nothing's wrong.

"Sounds good."

I'll do a little countdown and then I'll go in. Is that okay?

"Alright," he chuckled lightly. "Whatever helps."

I started from five and worked my way down the scale slowly. Robin inhaled deeply and braced himself for the impact. I hesitated for a moment but eventually forced myself to continue. And with that, my soul melted into Robin's body.

All at once, the freedom vanished. Whatever independence I felt from outside my physical body was now long gone. It had been replaced by a warm, claustrophobic environment. It was almost too overwhelming for me to handle. As I tried to make sense among the haze and confusion, I could sense that Robin was reacting as well.

The masked leader was sitting rather firmly in the chair. He hunched over his constricted stomach and he gripped the armrests with white-knuckled hands hidden beneath gloves. His arched back shuddered quite often and an aching moan was released through his clenched teeth. I didn't need to use my empathy to know the level of pain he was experiencing.

Robin.

He didn't answer at first. I assumed the discomfort distracted him so I had to direct his focus towards me.

Robin, hey! I think I'm in. Can you hear me?

Yeah, he thought. I feel you too.

I could hear his thoughts as I was doing this. Our minds were connecting and our souls were conforming as well. Robin's soul was trying to manifest through his body again, excluding me in the process. To counter this, I forced my way back inside, knowing that I couldn't let it take control if I was ever going to successfully possess someone. In response, Robin expelled a violent yelp.

Sorry! I cried. I didn't mean to do that!

I know I know. It's okay. Just do what you have to do…

I didn't think I was doing it correctly at all and this made me panic. To appease him, I tried shifting my position, thinking I needed to furnish more space within his body. Adjusting myself seemed to pain him more so I did my best to ease around as slowly as possible.

Keep going, Raven. Hurry!

Robin never wanted to be rude to me and yet he was was becoming impatient. His irritability was evident. I tried being gentle but no matter what I did, Robin's soul was fighting back. I knew it was his immunity's instinct; Robin couldn't stop himself from struggling so I would have to find a way to stop it myself. After all, that was the main idea behind possession.

C'MON. You're getting closer…I can feel it.

I pushed against Robin's soul and the aftermath was Robin's violent outburst. I continued to apply pressure, keeping it in place, while Robin calmed himself. For a moment, it seemed to be working and I was hopeful again.

How about now? Is that any better?

There was a painfully-long pause. Every other second, the silence was punctuated by hoarse grunts. Robin seemed to be furious due to his levels of adrenalin and his flushed face, but he had been resisting the urge to mention it.

Robin? I prodded.

Yeah, I know! You're...still...no...

He paused again. I was inside Robin for what seemed like a few minutes, but Robin felt like it had been a few centuries. The masked boy was quivering under the strain of my being and his muscles were beginning to give out. That kind of response wasn't natural.

The Titan cursed under his breath. He had been trying to conceal his pain‒not very well‒but by now, it had become unbearable. The longer I was within him, the more intense the pain would become. It was enough to bring tears to his masked eyes. His stifled groans had dissolved into the sounds of inhumane torture. I didn't think anyone could ever make those kind of haunting noises and now I had become the cause of them.

Robin couldn't handle it anymore.

Get out, he hissed harshly.

What?

Go, Raven! Get out of me!

Now?

Robin couldn't answer. He brought a hand to his chest, right on the spot where ours souls were tangling into a mess for dominance. Then he gagged, which only made him crunch forward. It looked appeared as though he was both suffocating and having a heart attack‒a deadly combination. However, I knew this problem would surface.

Robin was resisting and that only meant I was getting closer to success. I would have to try harder, even if Robin was demanding for me to stop. He had warned me about this earlier. This wouldn't be an easy victory and I had to go beyond our limits to accomplish it. Robin failed to mention how he would endure during the process, though I was positive that was his intention. Now that it's happening, I have to be the one to keep going. I couldn't take Robin's orders anymore.

This was up to me and my willpower.

Look, Robin, I counseled firmly. I'm going to keep going. Give me another minute and it'll all be over.

"No!" Robin grunted and I was surprised to hear him verbally speaking. "Stop what you're doing and get out now. You need to go!"

I have to keep going if this will ever work.

He was fiercely shaking his head: "No! No, you're just making it worse! Please stop!"

I swear I'm almost done.

"It's not working so stop! Please!"

We're so close. I can do it if you let me...

"No!"

Just one minute-

"GET OUT OF ME! NOW!"

Oxygenated air surged into my lungs and my eyes flicked open. As my soul reconnected with my body, Robin's constricted muscles instantaneously became languid. As he teetered on the edge of unconsciousness, his weight leaned too heavily forward and he lost balance. Robin tumbled from the chair and collapsed onto the floor without a struggle.

"Robin!"

I skidded onto the floor and rolled him onto his back. Robin didn't put up any resistance to me. His head rolled to the side and his mouth was slightly parted, as if he had tried to inhale before he passed out. My fumbling fingers searched for a pulse on his neck. I tapped into my empathetic abilities, seeking for signs of life, but nothing could be found. According to my powers, his body lacked a vital element: his own soul.

No...

"Robin," I called to him, urging the limp body to react. "Can you hear me? Robin. ROBIN. Oh Azar. Wake up. Wake up, Robin!"

I was desperate for an answer and the Titan couldn't provide one.

He had no pulse.

He wasn't breathing.

There wasn't anything that my powers could heal.

What have I done? The gears in my mind were cranking but they were malfunctioning as well. Oh Azar, what have I done?!

From his belt, I spotted his T-Communicator. I fumbled to flip it open and then I dialed onto a line where I could contact every Titan at once. Cyborg was the first to answer.

"Hey Rob- Raven? Is that you?"

I didn't know how else to explain the news; "Robin's down," I blurted.

"What?" Starfire demanded, joining the conversation. "ROBIN?"

"He's unconscious and I don't know what to do," I cried helplessly. "He's out cold and he's not waking up. I need help!"

"Where's he at?" Beast Boy asked. "We're coming now."

"My room. We're in there. Please hurry…"

Everyone signed off at once, leaving me in a dead, stagnant silence. I dropped the device and it clattered to the floor, along with stray tears.

I opened a portal to the Infirmary, allowing Cyborg to easily transport Robin to an unoccupied gurney. He had been previously trained to use CPR in these kind of situations and now that Robin was down, the mechanical man was prepared to take the leadership role. Beast Boy was ordered to retrieve the AED from the nearby closet. Starfire first removed Robin's utility belt and then started to cut away Robin's traffic-colored shirt so his bare chest was accessible. Meanwhile, Robin's life sustained only by Cyborg's breaths and compressions.

It took three electric shocks from the AED before Robin's heart regained a steady tempo. However, he remained unconscious. Cyborg performed an assessment and declared that he was alive, but Robin would need additional assistance from machines if he were to stay that way. Starfire prepared the gated bed for Robin by attaching his body with all of the medical equipment, like what they did to me when I was in a coma. Beast Boy helped Cyborg clean the scene while I healed the broken bones in Robin's torso, caused by the chest compressions that Cyborg had enforced. The alien watched mournfully as a blue energy radiated from my hands.

"Oh Robin," she sniffed, her green eyes igniting with tears.

She sank to her knees beside the gurney and grabbed his gloved hand, bringing it to her lips. Starfire anxiously observed his stoic expression, as if expecting him to awake at any moment. The longer she waited, the more tears that fell from her face.

When I had finished healing, I silently exited the room. I was halfway down the hall, heading towards the stairwell, when Beast Boy ran up from behind me.

"Raven," he pleaded.

I didn't answer at first. In fact, I didn't stop either until he shouted my name again. We were both surprised by how gravelly my voice had become.

"It was my fault," I whispered. "It was all my fault."

"What happened back there?"

"I messed up, Beast Boy. We were practicing and I thought we were safe. I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't mean to do what I had done, but Robin almost died because of me."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Beast Boy chided me.

"I told him that I couldn't do it. I was doubting myself and it was because of that Robin's in there, barely alive. I-"

"Robin knew what he was doing," the green changeling said, interrupting my woeful cries. "And he knows you didn't mean it."

"You don't understand! I could've practiced on something easier, Beast Boy! I didn't need to do that and I didn't want to hurt him! And now I did, and Robin got hurt because of it."

"Robin'll pull through; he always does. Cy says it shouldn't be too long before he wakes up..."

"But if I hadn't done that, we wouldn't be in this mess, okay? I did this to him! It was my fault he's hurt!"

Beast Boy reached over and placed a hand on my shoulder, giving me a reassuring squeeze. I knew what he was trying to do, so I excused myself before Beast Boy could console me.

"I have to meditate," I uttered quickly, striding to the stairwell.

"I'll come with you."

At this, I started walking faster. I thought the stairs would be an easier escape because Beast Boy would trouble keeping up with me. If I had taken the elevator, Beast Boy would have stopped the doors from closing and refused to step out of the way. It was obvious he was going to chase me down.

"Raven, stop! I'm coming with you…"

"No!"

I held up a threatening hand to cease his travel. Beast Boy nearly skidded to a halt because he was preparing to run after me. Now, he was wincing. I could see the hurt flashing through his emerald eyes like lightning during a miserable storm.

"I want to help you, Rae," he pleaded, cautious of his choices. "Please. Let me help..."

Tears were welling in my eyes and I blinked furiously to dispose of them. My throat felt constricted. I had to force the words out of me.

"I need to be alone."

"Raven-"

"No. I can't…"

"Raven!"

Before he could protest, I teleported into my room through a portal that quickly vanished without a trace. All at once, I crumpled onto my bed and buried my contorted face into a mass of pillows. Despite my attempts, my muffled cries could be heard throughout the entire Tower.

Author's Note: Thanks again for reading! As always, I appreciate everybody's input :)