I was drifting. And as I was drifting, I was dreaming. I was definitely dead.
I was surrounded by white light and the sound of ocean waves. I was warm, comfortably so.
"Beall..." A bright light was calling my name. An Angel.
"Beall, Beall please. No no no no!" The bright light sounded heartbroken. That wasn't right. I reached out towards it, wanting to comfort the Angel.
"Beall... Oh, god. No..." The Angel sobbed. I pushed myself closer to the sound.
Then I felt a pressure on my head. And pain. First, a short stab in my hand. Then a stronger stab in my head. Then a wave of pain in my leg. I cried out.
"Beall!" The Angel said.
"He's lost a lot of blood." A more methodical voice intruded. "And his leg is definitely broken. Probably ribs too."
"Oh, Beall..."
"Edward." I forced myself to say.
"Yes, honey, I'm here. Stay with me." He said.
"I hurt." I choked out. I couldn't get my eyes to focus. Pain was stabbing me everywhere.
"I know, Carlisle is here to help."
I lapsed back into darkness, then a sharp pain in my hand brought me back out.
"My hand..." I gasped.
"I said Carlisle will help-"
"It's burning!" I screamed, my eyes popping open. Edward and Carlisle were hovering over me. "Stop it burning!"
"Carlisle, his wrist..." Edward said in complete horror. I could see him holding my arm up, but my vision had gone patchy again. My whole arm was on fire now.
"He bit him." Carlisle's voice was appalled, no longer calm.
"Edward, you have to do it. I've seen it, it works. You'll be okay!" Alice's words came out in rushed tumble. I could hear someone screaming and knew it was me. I couldn't stop the pain.
"No!" Edward was yelling, smashing his fist into the floor.
"Help me, please..." I gasped.
"I can't..." Edward said brokenly.
"There's a chance he'll survive unscathed if you suck the venom back out." Carlisle said, trying to keep his voice level. "Or, we let it run its course."
"No!" Edward yelled again.
"Edward, you have to make your choice quickly."
"Please..." I sobbed. My eyes finally focused on Edward's face, torn with pain and indecision. I watched his eyes lock on mine and his expression change to determination.
I felt his strong fingers on my burning arm, his cold lips pressed to the same spot Jason's had been. At first, the pain was worse, much worse. Then it began to lessen. The fire flowed down my arm, growing duller and duller, then it stopped altogether.
"Beall?" Carlisle's voice. I was slipping away again, now that the pain wasn't so prominent. He called my name again.
"Huh?" My voice sounded quiet even to me.
"Stay with me. Do you feel the fire in your hand still?"
I tried to shake my head and then remembered I couldn't.
"No." I whispered. I was so tired.
"His blood is clean, I can taste the morphine." Edward said.
"Thank you, Edward." I gasped. I was muddled, but I think it meant I wouldn't be turning into one of them.
"I love you." Edward said. My vision was blurred, but I could see his face, pale as ever.
"I know." I replied. Edward laughed, quietly, but also weak with relief. It sounded wonderful.
"Bella, where is your mother?" Carlisle asked me.
"Florida. She left early. He tricked me. I'm so sorry." I said.
"That's a relief. It's time to go now." Carlisle replied.
"Edward, I'm sorry." I said, reaching for him. He took my hand and kissed it.
"Sleep now, I'll carry you." He said with a smile before picking me up. The last thing I remembered was the smell of gasoline and smoke, and I was floating again.
I woke up suddenly, somewhere else. I blinked hard against the bright white light. I was in an unfamiliar room - a hospital room, I realized. What the fuck had happened? I wasn't dead.
I moved to scratch my nose, but a bunch of tubes and wires tangled me up. I moved to take them off.
"No you don't." Cool fingers moved my hands away. Edward. My vision cleared. He was kneeling next to my bed. I was so relieved, tears pricked my eyelids.
"Edward, I'm- I'm- I'm so sorry!" I sobbed. Edward took my hands in his and kissed them both, avoiding the bandaged area on my wrist.
"Shhhh..." He shushed. "It's all right, everything is okay now."
"What happened?" My memory was fuzzy, rebelling as I tried to sift through it.
"I was almost too late. I could have been too late." Edward whispered.
"Please don't do that to yourself, it was all my fault." I replied.
"You were doing what you thought was right." He said, giving my hands another kiss.
"Fuck, I need to call Renee and Charlie..." I said, rubbing my head.
"Don't worry, Alice already did. Renee is here."
"My mom is here?" My voice jumped an octave or two.
"Not here here, in the hospital getting food." Edward said.
"Jesus Christ." I replied. My head spun. Edward pushed me back onto the pillows.
"Please lay down, honey..." He said softly. "I want you to be at your best when she comes back."
"What about Charlie?" I asked.
"He... well, he had colorful things to tell me. But he's glad that you're alive. And that I wasn't involved in your accident."
"Fuck me in the ass." I spat. "He's never going to let me see you again."
"Maybe another time." Edward teased. "And yes, you have some explaining to do. You got yourself in..."
"I'll get myself out. I know." I replied. "What's this "accident" I supposedly survived?"
"Two flights of stairs and out a window. Admit it, it could happen to you." Edward said.
"Well, fuck..." I replied. "That doesn't sound survivable."
"In all seriousness, I came very close to losing you this week." Edward said, fixing me in his brown eyes.
"I know. In my defense I feel very guilty, sir."
"We'll get through." Edward said, pressing a kiss to my temple. "You're only a little broken, for the time being."
"How bad am I?" I could see the enormous cast encasing my leg.
"Broken leg, four broken ribs, some cracks in your skull, bruises on every inch of you, and a lot of lost blood - I didn't like the transfusions they gave you, made you smell funny for a while."
"Nice change?" I teased.
"No, I like how You smell." Edward said. We fell into silence as I mulled the events of the attack over. Edward smoothed a finger over my hand.
"How did you do it?" I finally asked. He knew what I meant.
"I'm not sure." He looked away from my wondering eyes, lifting my gauze-wrapped arm and rubbing it gently below the bandage. I waited for him to continue.
"It was impossible... to stop. Impossible. But I did. Because I love you immensely, I think."
"I remember you telling me after you stopped." I said. "I think I quoted Star Wars."
"Not one of your best moments, but I was just happy you were alive." Edward laughed, setting my arm down.
"I love you too, you know." I said earnestly. He smiled in return.
"Do I taste as good as I smell?" I asked, partially teasing, partially curious.
"You have no idea." Edward shook his head. "It was like snorting cocaine AND eating it."
"I don't know a lot about crack, but I'm guessing that's not healthy. Let's not make it a habit."
"No shit." Edward replied.
We lapsed into silence again, then a question that had been nagging at me surfaced.
"What happened to Jay - Jason?"
"After I pulled him off you, Emmett and Jasper took care of him."
"Oh." I said. "I didn't see them there."
"They left after they dispatched with him. There was a lot of blood."
"But you stayed."
"Yes."
"And Alice and Carlisle did too."
"Yes. It was hard for Alice, but she pulled through. She was the one who cleaned the glass from your head."
"Oh."
"They love you too, you know. You're part of our family now."
"Oh."
"Edward?"
"Yes?"
"What are you doing here?"
He blinked at me a second.
"Do you want me to leave?"
"No, I just mean what is the story for you still being here? Renee probably knows what I told Charlie by now..."
"She doesn't. Charlie kept that to himself, surprisingly. He will be waiting for you to broach that topic with him when you return to Forks. Your mother didn't realize she didn't tell you she moved early and feels terribly for deserting you in your hour of need."
"But why are you here?"
"I told her I came to Phoenix to talk you into moving in with me." He replied smoothly.
"Oh. I'm not moving in, am I?"
"Not unless you want to, but I think you should focus on repairing your relationship with your father."
I nodded. I needed to get on that right away.
"Can I call him?" I asked. Edward nodded and produced his phone. I thought for a second. I couldn't remember the number at the house back in Forks. Edward took the phone from me and dialed the number, handing it back.
"Thanks." I said, putting the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" Charlie picked up on the third ring.
"Char-Dad. Hi. It's me."
"Beall? You're awake? How are you feeling, son?"
"Like I fell through a window, dad."
"You're lucky you weren't hurt worse."
"I know. I just wanted to tell you that I'm awake and I'll be home as soon as I can leave."
"You're coming back to Forks?" The relief was evident in his voice.
"Yeah, I made a bunch of huge mistakes, dad... I feel-" I choked up in spite of myself. "I feel bad. I lied. A lot. A-and I want to talk to you about it, but not till I'm back home, okay?"
"Okay, son. You can talk to me about anything, you know that."
"I love you, Dad." I said. I meant it.
"I love you too, Bee. You rest up and come home soon." He sounded a little choked up. I hung up the phone feeling better.
"It's going to take him a while to trust me, and probably you too." Edward said. "But you did the right thing."
"I know."
"I hear Renee coming." Edward said, stiffening.
"Don't leave, please..." I begged.
"I won't." Edward said, locking my gaze. "I'm just going to take a nap." He settled back into a nearby chair and basically turned to stone. The doorknob turned and my mother entered the room.
"Beall!" She cried, dropping the plastic bag of food she had in her hand.
"Mom..." I laughed. She looked the same, just a little more tan. Florida and Phil were treating her well.
"Good to see that boy has finally gotten some rest, he hasn't left your side all week." She said, collecting her bag.
"How long have I been out?" I asked.
"A while, honey. It's Friday now."
"Holy Crap." I said. I'd been out three days. Edward had failed to mention it.
"Your father and I were so worried. I couldn't believe you'd tried to come back here!" She started, sitting at the foot of the bed.
"I called dad. I'm going back to Forks. This whole thing was a misunderstanding." I said.
"Good, I think... I think that will be good for you. Work out whatever you and Charlie had going on. I just can't believe... two flights of stairs and a window." She covered her face in her hands.
"I'm fine now. Thank you for coming here. I love you." I said. I couldn't remember the last time I'd told both my parents I loved them in the same day.
"I love you too, honey." Renee said, patting my hand.
"You look tired, mom. You should go sleep." I said.
"You sure, honey? I can stay..." The bags under her eyes said otherwise.
"Go sleep at your hotel, I won't notice if anyone's here or not."
"All right, if you're sure. I love you." She said again, kissing my forehead.
"I love you too." I reminded her. She gave Edward a fond look and then bustled out with her snacks. Edward came to life beside me.
"Nap well?" I asked sarcastically.
"You should sleep." Edward said, taking my hand again.
"I will, I will." The painkillers were starting to kick in again. I felt sleepy.
"Before you do, Beall... I just wanted to say that I'm glad you're still here with me." Edward said.
"Me too." I yawned.
"The worst part of the whole thing wasn't running in and finding you there, broken, not realizing I might have been too late, not the hurt I felt at you lying to me and running away, but the thought that I might not have been able to stop. That I could have killed you."
"I'm glad you didn't." I said.
"Me too." He said. "I love you."
"I know." I replied. The last thing I saw before I drifted into unconsciousness was Edward's smirk.