Yay, I finally get to stand armed watches on my ship, meaning I get to be a valuable member of my duty section.
Now then, I'm hungry and tired but I had to finish this tonight since you get no update tomorrow.
Many thanks to FanficFinatic2 for your review to the last chapter!
The Grand Highblood
"Grand Highblood, I'm afraid I have some... rather distressing news," The Director said as respectfully as possible from his position on bended knee. He and others had developed the habit of speaking to her with an overabundance of deference to avoid infuriating her, but they didn't realize that they could probably talk to her any way they wanted—if she wanted them culled, she would have it no matter what.
"What the motherfuck are you talking about?" she drawled, leaning forward in her throne.
"It seems that... Marquise Mindfang may not be as dead as the rumors would suggest."
This was interesting news. Just the day before, word had reached Kurlas that Mindfang had been culled, and by her kismesis Orphaner Dualscar, the rumors continued. That by itself was enough to raise her eyebrows since culling one's kismesis was one of the only actively punishable offenses—in general, murder was frowned upon, but not something to call the legislacerators about. She'd considered sending one of the Redglares to apprehend him but decided against it. After all, Mindfang was a sworn enemy of Her Imperious Condescension and one of the best pirates out there. There had been a bounty on her head, too—although why Dualscar hadn't come forth to claim said bounty was a mystery.
But now, the mystery seemed resolved. If Mindfang wasn't dead, then there was no bounty to collect.
"Why?" she roared. "What the motherfuck is going on up in this bitch?"
"W-well, Grand Highblood, there was... a message. Left on a beach near the hive cluster where she lives. It, um... it read MINDFANG WILL CULL DUALSCAR."
So. Apparently the rumors were not completely unfounded. There had clearly been some kind of altercation between Mindfang and Dualscar, something to cause the rumors and apparently end their kismesissitude if she was out to cull him. Even more interesting. She sensed Gamzee shifting behind her but ignored him. "So? Let her have her motherfucking revenge. Dualscar probably motherfucking deserves whatever he's got up and coming to him."
The Director's expression grew more unsure. "Grand Highblood. This message... she appears to have culled her entire crew of rustbloods to leave it. She carved it into their bodies and left them on the beach."
Kurlas couldn't contain her burst of laughter. It echoed through the block, bouncing off walls and returning louder, more crazed than it began. Gamzee didn't laugh, but he probably wasn't even paying attention. All he'd done for the last two sweeps was sulk. It was unbecoming of The Young Highblood, but at least he wasn't quite as much of an embarrassment as he had been.
Still, it was funny. According to stories, Mindfang wasn't afraid of a bit of bloodshed, but slaughtering an entire crew just to send a message? If the pirate wasn't an enemy of The Condesce, Kurlas would have to admire her. As it was, though... "Well, I suppose I should motherfucking send someone to up and deal with that motherfucking bitch, huh?"
"It might be prudent," The Director said tensely.
The lowbloods were restless as it was. The last thing she needed was them getting spooked because some midblood found it funny to cull a dozen of them as a mark of a vendetta against a former kismesis. It might inspire a similar retaliation from the lowbloods, and Kurlas couldn't have that. "Alright, fine. I'll send one of the motherfucking Redglares. Those bitches have wanted some motherfucking high-profile prisoners, so they can get their legislacerating on."
"Very well." The Director bowed quickly and retreated out of the throne block, and Kurlas sat back in her throne with a sigh. Now the question became, which of the Redglares should she send? Neophyte Redglare was still relatively inexperienced, but what she lacked in experience, she more than made up for in enthusiasm and quick thinking. She would have probably passed the required examinations to become Judicate Redglare, but the Neophyte didn't want to pass, she wanted to excel. She wouldn't take the tests until she was sure she would outperform everyone else. Besides, having two Judicate Redglares would be confusing.
On the other hand, the actual Judicate Redglare had developed a bit of a temper problem and a flare for the dramatic, endearing herself to The Grand Highblood in the process. Kurlas liked her subordinates bloodthirsty, and she didn't doubt that the elder Redglare would easily be able to hunt down Mindfang and bring her to justice. Either one of the Redglares, with the help of that lusus of theirs, would undoubtedly do quite a number on Mindfang and her ship.
"Brother," Kurlas said suddenly. It jolted Gamzee out of his reverie and he nearly fell over in surprise.
"Yeah?" he asked once he'd recovered.
"Pretend for a motherfucking minute that you're The Grand Highblood. You got two motherfucking choices to up and deal with some motherfucking scum—someone who can motherfucking deliver, and someone who needs a motherfucking chance to up and prove themselves. Who do you motherfucking send?" She didn't necessarily need his advice, but she wanted to know what he thought in case he ever had to deal with something like this when he reigned. He could learn something here.
He thought it over for several long moments. "The one who I motherfucking know could do it," he said simply.
Judicate Redglare it is, then, Kurlas thought. That had been who she was leaning toward anyway. "Smart motherfucking choice." She'd make the announcement tomorrow and send the elder Redglare on her way. No matter what Mindfang was capable of, one extra day wouldn't matter much.
The court dismissed two hours before sunrise, and Kurlas retired to her respiteblock once she'd made sure Gamzee ate at least a little. He wasn't a wiggler anymore, but if he insisted on acting like one, then she'd treat him like one. She didn't know what the matter with him was, either, and she'd given up trying to find out. He'd get over it in due time.
She'd just taken a seat and closed her eyes for a moment when she heard another chair scraping across the floor and she looked up, reflexively reaching for one of her juggling clubs, but what she saw made her freeze.
The Handmaid was back, casually sitting down and returning her gaze as if they spoke every day. Two or three sweeps. Had it really been that long since the jadeblood and the mutants?
"You're motherfucking back," she said dully, setting the club back down.
"I am," The Handmaid replied, smiling demurely.
"Here to tell me that Mindfang is motherfucking alive? Because I already motherfucking knew that."
The Handmaid tilted her head to the side. "Right. Sometimes I forget what's actually taken place, you see. I typically only remember what I arrive to tell people. The context sometimes escapes me."
"You want to get your motherfucking explanation on?"
She gave Kurlas an insolent stare. "I'm not inclined to, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt. You see, I come from a place outside the passage of time. This is... what, the third time you've met me? But this is only the second time I've met you, Grand Highblood."
Kurlas really didn't like it when anyone who wasn't Gamzee used her real name, so the fact that The Handmaid had dispensed with that annoying habit satisfied her. "And?"
"And every time I see you, it's to give you a task. I never see anyone socially, after all. My orders are to appear to certain people at certain points in their timelines and give them a little push in the right direction. I was right about the jadeblood, wasn't I?"
"And The Princess," Kurlas muttered darkly.
The Handmaid raised an eyebrow. "Probably an event that hasn't happened for me yet. But I digress. Tell me, Grand Highblood. What is the state of affairs here?"
"Rumors of Orphaner Dualscar motherfucking culling Marquise Mindfang. It seems they aren't motherfucking true since she's still alive and apparently out for his motherfucking blood. Left a motherfucking message for him on the corpses of her motherfucking crew. Would you motherfucking know anything about that?" she asked on a sudden inspiration.
The Handmaid smiled mysteriously. "Yes, actually. I know all of the details. Unfortunately, those are spoilers. You're not to know them yet," she added, glancing down at her nails for a few moments.
Kurlas really didn't like that answer. "Fine," she growled. "What is it you came to motherfucking tell me?"
"A moment first. How is it you plan to deal with Mindfang? Surely Her Imperious Condescension and herself don't mean to let her get away with such an inflammatory act?"
"Motherfucking of course not!" Kurlas snapped, jumping to her feet before she could stop herself. "I'm sending Judicate Redglare to hunt that motherfucking bitch down and have her motherfucking hanged! I can't have those motherfucking lowbloods think we don't care about them!"
The Handmaid gave her a penetrating look. "But you don't care about the lowbloods. At least, not about their well-being. You care if what they do can be seen as a threat, but not about them."
"Yeah, and?"
"Technically speaking, Kurlas, I am not only a lowblood, but the lowest of them." She reached behind her head and plucked out a small, sharp pin that kept her hair in place. In one quick motion, she held out her arm and broke the skin just enough to cause her blood to well to the surface, and sure enough, her blood was a dark, dirty red. "However," The Handmaid went on, tucking the pin back into her hair, "I'm so far beyond the blood caste system that any threats you care to make will not intimidate me. I'm not the typical peasantry, either, and I don't necessarily care what happens to the lowbloods you govern as long as everything happens that should happen. So, tell me, Grand Highblood. Who do you intend to send to deal with Mindfang?"
"Judicate Redglare, one of the best motherfucking legislacerators I have."
The Handmaid furrowed her brows in confusion. "Judicate Redglare? Not Neophyte Redglare?"
"I did motherfucking think about sending her," Kurlas admitted. "But The Young Highblood motherfucking suggested—and I motherfucking agreed—that we should send someone who can motherfucking accomplish the mission, not a motherfucking wild card."
At her words, The Handmaid's expression shifted slightly. Kurlas couldn't read it, but then the rustblood's face became unusually neutral. "I see. Well, Gamzee's advice is far from sound, and both my employer and myself have a particularly vested interest to make her pay. Mindfang, that is. And believe it or not, Judicate Redglare is not the right Redglare for the job."
"Why don't you just motherfucking say it?" Kurlas snapped, annoyance getting the better of her. "You've seen the motherfucking future and I'm supposed to motherfucking send Neophyte Redglare to get this motherfucking retaliation on? That's motherfucking it, right?"
The Handmaid didn't appear fazed in the slightest. "In so many words, yes. Send Neophyte Redglare. That is what needs to happen. She has a drive to make sure the deaths of those lowbloods are answered for, more so than her sister does. Sure, Judicate Redglare would see it through, but Neophyte Redglare is bent on bringing Mindfang to justice." She crossed her arms and sat back in the chair she occupied. "Besides, she also has that thirst to prove herself. Judicate Redglare doesn't have anything to prove anymore. No one expects her to become Overseer Redglare for quite a few sweeps yet. Things will turn out far better with the Neophyte."
"Fine," Kurlas spat. She finally sat back down, glaring at The Handmaid. "Motherfucking fine. I'll send Neophyte Redglare. I don't have a motherfucking choice, do I?"
"You do. It would just be foolish to decide against it." The Handmaid stood up and began walking to the entrance portal, but Kurlas said, "Wait."
"Yes, Grand Highblood?"
"When are you going to motherfucking be back?"
The Handmaid was silent for a few long moments before she answered, "Two sweeps. Then I will be back."
"Wouldn't it be motherfucking easier to just motherfucking tell me everything now instead of in motherfucking bits and pieces?"
She scoffed. "Easier, yes. Wiser, no. There are things you don't need to know yet, and so I won't tell you. Simple as that. Now. I will see you in two sweeps." The Handmaid gave her a curt nod and walked out the entrance portal.
As soon as she was gone, Kurlas groaned. Neophyte Redglare it is.
I think Kurlas really does love Gamzee but she's very frustrated with him and also isn't that great at showing emotions based on pity. She'd have about a hundred kismesises before she had one matesprit, I think.