A/N: I'm back! I'm sorry for disappearing on you all, but I decided to take a little break from writing, hoping that it would help with my writers block. Thankfully, it did! I've been working on a few things, some of which probably won't be posted anytime soon, but I'm back! :)

Before we get started, I would like to thank winterschild11, TheeeAhni, ms simmons, child who is cool, and annabellex2 for reviewing last chapter!

I'd also like to give a huge thank you to those that nominated and voted for me for the 2014 Big Time Rush Awards! I tied with Franshes (Big Time Finale; Which is an AMAZING story by the way!) for Favorite Slash M-Rated Story! It really means a lot to me, so thank you from the bottom of my heart for continuing to support me! :)

This chapter picks up where last chapter left off. I hope you all enjoy!

Warning: M-Rated stuff may or may not be happening this chapter ;)

Chapter Twenty Four

I spend the next hour drinking and getting to know Stephanie a little better. We talk on and off while she works, and eventually Dak returns. Sitting next to me, he looks worn out. Stephanie sets down a cup of coffee in front of him and after he thanks her, he turns to look at me.

"Did Ty leave?"

I look over my shoulder when the band stops playing. I watch as Kendall slings his guitar over his head before turning back to Dak.

"I don't know. He ran off with some girl over an hour ago, so probably." I respond.

Shaking his head, he says, "I'm sorry about earlier. He's a lot to handle at times."

I turn around when I feel Kendall's hand on my shoulder. He looks hot as hell. His sweaty shirt clings to him and my conflicting feelings start colliding.

"Hey, you bored yet?" He asks.

"No. I had the pleasure of hanging out with Tyler for a while." I joke and hear Dak chuckling.

"That guy's crazy, but funny as hell." Kendall says as he wraps his arm around me. I move back slightly when he starts to pull me closer to him. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just tired." I lie.

I hate lying to him. I'm not okay. I wish I was, but I'm not. I suddenly hear my brother's words replay in my head. "The James I know wouldn't care what others think." But to not care takes more strength than I think I have. Kendall has never done anything wrong, he's perfect. He deserves to be with someone like him. Someone sure of himself and not so damn awkward and scared for people to see him for what he is.

I know that Kendall senses my hesitation because he quickly removes his arm, grabs the beer that Stephanie set down for him, a walks back towards the stage.

"You guys okay?" Dak asks after a minute, glancing over at me as he sips his coffee.

I try blowing it off and respond with, "Yeah. It's just been a crazy couple of weeks."

"You have no idea man." He says and then lets out a sigh. Clearly this guy has a lot on his mind, but I don't say anything as we sit there in a comfortable silence and drink.

For the next half hour, Kendall's band finishes their set. A couple girls approach Dak, and he pushes them away without giving them a glance.

Stephanie walks over to him and whispers, "Why don't you head home? I can close everything up."

"Are you sure?" He asks, although I can see the relief in his eyes at the offer.

"Of course." She responds, giving him a small smile.

"Okay. Thanks a lot." He says, returning her small smile as he drinks the rest of his coffee before pushing it towards her and turning towards me. "It was really nice to meet you James."

"Same here."

"I guess I'll see you around." He says, to which I nod before he turns to leave.

XxX

When the night winds down, Kendall packs up his stuff, and I follow him out to his car. He seems irritated from earlier, so the drive back to my place is silent.

"Park in the garage." I say when we get close to my place, because I don't want him to go home. I need to talk to him. I need to figure out how to move past this, and I need to be honest with him.

He doesn't respond, he just turns the corner and drives down into the underground lot. When we walk inside my place, he heads to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water.

"You mind if I take a quick shower?"

"No." I say as he is already walking to my bathroom.

When he turns the water on, I text Jo to check in.

Just got home. Interesting evening.

I go to my room, strip out of my clothes, and throw on a pair of gym shorts. My phone chimes as I slide into bed.

Is that good or bad?

Bad. Everything was weird.

With Kendall?

It's me with Kendall. I was really cold to him because I was embarrassed.

You have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

But I am, and Kendall knows it.

What did he say?

Nothing. He's in the shower now. How are you?

You need to talk to him, and I'm fine. About to go to bed. Just been studying.

I'm gonna talk to him. Love you.

I love you too. Tell Kendall I love him too for me?

I hear the water turn off and shoot one last text.

I will. Call me tomorrow okay?

Kendall walks into my room with a towel slung low on his hips and water still beaded on his smooth skin. Fuck he's hot. He looks over at me when my phone goes off again. I pick it up and read the text as he opens my dresser to grab a pair of my shorts.

I have to work early. I'll text you when I'm off. Night.

Night.

"Jo says she loves you."

He doesn't say anything as he lays down next to me. I let out a sigh as I turn towards him.

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I don't know how to let it go."

He just lays there, his hair still wet, and looks in my eyes. I let down my walls and open up.

"I don't want to hide parts of me from you, but I don't know how to do that. I get scared. I'm afraid people are judging me." I close my eyes for a second before looking back at him. "You seem so sure of yourself, and I'm so far from that. I want to give that to you. I really don't want to mess this up, and I don't want you to change the way you are with me because everything you do, you do it perfectly."

When he reaches his hand around the back of my neck, he shifts closer to me. He gently presses his lips against mine, letting them linger there for a minute before pulling back.

"It's not always that easy for me either." He whispers.

I look into his eyes and can see the honesty there. Having him give me those words takes some pressure off. I wrap my arms around him and kiss him. When I seal my lips with his, he slides his tongue along mine, and I roll on top of him. I drag my mouth down and along his jaw as he tangles his fingers in my hair.

Running my hand down his toned stomach, I softly bite the curve of his neck when I slip my hand down his shorts and grip him firmly in my hand. He throbs against my hold, and it intensifies my desire to have him. As I let out a deep moan, I inch myself down the length of his body and between his legs. Slipping his shorts off, I toss them aside before lowering myself and taking him in my mouth, tasting him.

"Uhh, fuck." He moans out as he tugs at my hair.

This isn't something I've ever done with guys, they've always done this to me. The shame that has always come along with me giving a guy anything like this would dredge up all of my feelings about how uncomfortable I am with being gay. Like the idea of me giving another guy head would somehow take me to a new level of gay.

It's stupid. It's my own fucked up way of trying to rationalize things. But I want to give this to him. I want to leave those screwed up thoughts behind because I love him, even though I'm not quite ready to say it. I'm scared, and I know it. I feel closer to him than anyone else, but I still need more, and this is the only way I know how right now.

I take my time and focus on making him feel as good as I can. I give, not wanting anything from him in return. My mouth is clenched firmly around him as I use my hand to add more pressure, and when I squeeze tighter, his moan is deep.

"Oh God, Jay."

Hearing him say my name like that does me in, and I quicken my pace and suck harder. I know he's close when I feel him swell even more. He bucks his lips, and I grip him with my free hand as he begins to come.

"Oh God, don't stop." He pants, and I don't. I let him ride it out for as long as he can hold on, and when he relaxes underneath me, he reaches down and pulls me up to him. I hover over him as he stares up in my eyes, his face flushed. He gives me a sexy grin before he lowers me to him and kisses me. There's something about this kiss that's more intimate than any of our others.

Giving Kendall this, something that I have never given anyone else, makes me want to give him even more. In this moment, there's no shame, no regret. There's only love for the guy that is showing me that it's okay to be me. I rest my body on top of his, and we wrap each other up in our arms as we continue to slowly move our lips together. It's all we do for a while. It's all I want to do. Getting lost in him is peaceful in a way I can't describe. He calms me when we are together like this, and I don't want this with anyone but him.

"I just want you." I mumble suddenly against his lips, not wanting to stop.

I watch as he pulls back and places his hands along my jaw.

"You have me."

Done! And the Kames continues to grow! I hope you all enjoyed that last bit as well as the chapter in general.

I don't want to give away too much, but I can tell you that next chapter is filled with more Kames as well as another important moment for the couple!

Until then, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter!

I'm going to try and write some more throughout the weeks so hopefully I'll have some more updates for you all! And once again, thank you all so much for voting and nominating me for the 2014 Big Time Rush Awards! :)

Until next time!

-Epically Obsessed