Hey guys! I'm so sorry for taking days to write this chapter! It was really hard! I had so much trouble! Agh! I warned you that this might happen to anyone who might be mad! Forgive me, Readers! At least this chapter is even longer. UGH I hope you guys like this chapter! *pterodactyl screech*
Anyways thanks again for all the reviews and favorites! They mean so much to me! You guys are the best!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of Marvel's character. I'm just letting them play with my OC. I'll let them go home when they're done.
…
Loki must have been rusty because when we were done teleporting I felt a million times dizzier than usual.
"Whoa…" I blinked rapidly, gripping his shoulder for support, "What the hell...?" I said as I looked at the spinning forest in front of me. I gripped my head and closed my eyes as I felt myself get more focused before I opened them again.
"Quiet." Loki commanded in a low voice, looking off into the distance.
"Where are we?" I asked, still feeling really dizzy.
"Quiet!" Loki snapped covering my mouth, "I need to concentrate."
I frowned at the feeling of Loki's hand covering my mouth. It reminded me a lot of something that Steve would do. Although when Steve did it, it felt like my face was enveloped in warmth, whereas Loki's made me feel cold. But they both had the same effect of calming me down in a way. I moved away from Loki, still feeling the ghost of his hand against my skin and looked around.
There really wasn't much to look at. We looked like we were smack dab in the middle of the forest. I looked at the sea of trees and wondered where we were. It didn't look tropical, but luckily it wasn't snowing either, although I could feel the temperature dropping as the sun was setting over the trees.
"Loki…" I called in a low voice, "I'm…I'm really not ready for this yet, I'm wearing slippers for Christ sakes!" I moved myself into his line of vision. Well, I tried to anyways since he was like a foot taller than me. I looked over to where he was staring off and saw nothing but trees.
"Loki, come on. I feel really unprepared for this. I don't even know where we are," I sighed, hugging myself from the sudden cold gust of wind.
"I have spent days planning this. We are ready and I will not wait to spill their blood," Loki said in a low voice, finally turning to me. I shivered at his stare. It was so…intense, his thin cruel lips were pressed into a hard line, his brows furrowed ever so slightly as his green eyes looked deep into mine.
He was scaring me. I was suddenly reminded how this man…had killed thousands…some just to spite me, others who just got in the way. How could this man be the same man who could kiss me so gently?
I swallowed and looked away; looking back towards the direction he was looking in, "Well… what am I supposed to do? Follow you around?" I said shivering in the dropping temperature. I finally looked back at him, hoping I was getting through to him. If we were going back I needed to make sure I was at full power, ready to stop him at all cost from getting the tesseract and to find some way to get in contact with Steve.
Loki looked me over, "You're underdressed," He finally said after a time as he looked at me.
I rolled my eyes as discreetly as I could, "Yes. I said that earlier. But of course you weren't listening," I said, unable to hide my bitterness at the situation. I knew he warned me that as soon as he got his powers we would leave, but this was too much. I looked away from him, hugging myself tighter as the temperature dropped even lower, unable to stop myself from shivering as a light breeze flew by.
Loki was quiet for a few moments. I looked back at him to see his face concentrating again. I raised an eyebrow at him. Suddenly, Loki pulled black hiking boots from behind him and held them out to me. My brow stayed raised as I took them watching Loki carefully as he gazed down at his hands, the haunting concentration never leaving his eyes.
"Loki…" I called softly, "Maybe you should… rethink about us going right now."
"No." Loki said looking up at me, his eyes growing hard, "We're going to get the tesseract back now. I will not wait."
"Hey," I said softly, stepping closer to him, "It's not like I don't want to go either…but we can't just march in there like this."
Loki stared at me for a long time, breathing slowly but deeply, "I have unfinished business with them." he finally said in a low voice.
"So do I," I said softly. "But neither one of us is ready. Please…" I reasoned, touching his arm lightly.
Loki stared at his hands again and then frowned, "I suppose it would be best to go back considering you're so weak right now. I can't waste time looking after you," Loki concluded in a low voice. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes again.
"Exactly," I said, trying not to sound sarcastic, "Can we go now? I'm freezing."
…
I wrapped myself in a blanket and sat in front of the fireplace, watching the flames dance in front of me. I looked at the shadows quivering on the walls before I closed my eyes, meditating with the energy around me. I felt the fiery energy in front of me and tried to pull it in, frowning when I couldn't. I began to grit my teeth, trying to force the energy to come to me and letting out a gasp as I gave up.
"You can't force it," the familiar cool voice said from behind me.
"I didn't ask for your advice," I said softly, although irritably, trying to concentrate again.
"You needed it," Loki said matter of factly, "Controlling your powers has to be natural. It is like moving your muscles. You can't force it, you simply have to make it."
I curled my lip thinking how Loki's powers came back a lot faster than mine. He was practically up to full power. It doesn't make sense. Mine came out a lot faster than his. What's going on with me? I thought as I glared at the fire burning away.
"You have to breathe and feel it come to you. You're forcing it," Loki said, his voice sounding closer. I turned around to see him lounging on the couch staring at me. I glared at him, definitely not paying attention to how well his dark jeans fit him and his green t-shirt ridding up, revealing ivory muscles. I moved my gaze to his face that was staring intently into mine.
"What do you know?" I said glumly, mentally berating myself for sounding childish. I knew he was right, but I didn't know how to stop, and I would be damned if I asked the God of Mischief for help.
"I doubt it's much different from using sorcery," Loki said absentmindedly as he looked at his perfectly manicured nails. How the heck did he even get them to look like that? I couldn't help but think as I let my eyes grace over the lines and indents of his hands, "It's creating something using the forces within yourself."
"I used to be so good…everything came so naturally. I always developed quickly," I said softly, turning back to the flames.
"It's because you're forcing it," Loki said again.
"Why do you care anyways?" I snapped, "It's not like you want me to have my powers! I'm surprised you haven't even used yours on me to make me think I'm in love with you or with a cactus or something," I said angrily.
"I already said that I think it would be much more enjoyable for you to come to me on your own, rather than force myself on you. It's more fun seeing you blush when I subtly entice you. Don't think I didn't notice you staring at me," Loki said, I quickly turned around to glare at his smirking face.
"I wasn't-"
"Ah, ah," Loki chided, "I'm the God of Lies, remember? What use do you think denial will do you?" he smirked again when I held back my tongue. I narrowed my eyes at him before turning back around and stared at the dancing flames, wondering when I would be as good as I used to be.
"Perhaps, what you really need…is to relax," Loki breathed into my ear, making me jump. His hands rested on my shoulders when I tried to move away.
"Loki." I said in a warning tone as I still tried to move.
"Shhh," he said as he started to rub my shoulders, this thumbs moving in circles around the tense muscles. I shivered and closed my eyes, his hands feeling painful against my resisting body, "I'm only trying to help…relax." His cool breath against my neck and ear was making it very hard for me to relax. After some time, I could not help but allow the tension to slowly ease away due to his expert ministrations.
Suddenly I felt something touching both of my calves. I jumped and opened my eyes to see two more Lokis, each massaging each of my legs.
"What the-!" I said as I tried to yank my legs away, but they held me firm. I started breathing hard, panic rising in me, "Loki, stop!" I shouted.
"Relax…I'm not going to hurt you," Loki whispered into my, "I only mean to help you…shh, stop struggling."
"What is this? When did you get your clone powers back?" I said as I still tried to struggle.
Loki let out a low chuckle in my ear, "I've been a busy man," he said, his hands still rubbing my shoulders.
I gazed at the twins in front of me, both of them having a matching smirk.
"Now, Sara," the one on the left of me purred, "You can't be that surprised, after all, you know how much I've been developing."
I blinked at him and looked at the original Loki over my shoulder, "Stop, it's creepy, like mindless clones or something."
"Oh, we're hardly mindless," the Loki to my right said, tugging on my leg to make me look at him. "It's quite simple. I am Loki."
"As I am Loki," the one to my left grinned.
"And I am also Loki." He whispered into my ear.
My brows knitted together as I cast furtive glances between all of them,"That doesn't make sense," I said in a soft voice, still trying to move away.
"If you keep trying to take your legs out of our hands, we will tickle you," Loki to my left grinned.
"I already said we wouldn't hurt you, so relax and learn a little magic," the one to my right smirked.
I was getting confused with them, but stopped struggling, though I was stiff as a board in their arms.
"Now, then," Loki to the left of me said, "As I was saying-"
"As we were saying," Loki to the right of me corrected.
"Yes, as we were saying, we're all Loki. You have two hands, do you not, Sara?" Loki to the left of me continued.
I looked down at my hands, "Yeah…?"
"Well, we're very similar to that. Imagine us as limbs, if you will."
"Conscious limbs," Loki behind me reiterated.
"We are simply an extension of Loki. What we feel, he feels." Loki to the right of me continued.
"What we learn, he learns," Loki to the left of me nodded.
"Because we are all Loki." Loki behind me explained. "When we disappear, we simply go back to being one. I created this spell long ago and it has been one of the best decisions of my life."
"You have no idea how many times I have used it so that I could stay experimenting with spells and have to go to boisterous parties."
"Not to mention those damn training practices."
"As if anyone could beat my deadly aim." They all shared a laugh.
I blinked, slowly trying to process this and keep up with who was talking…well, I guess I didn't have to, technically, "Okay…that's actually pretty fucking impressive."
They all let out a united laugh, which was a little creepy but I shrugged it off.
"So, um, can you let me go?" I said softly.
Loki to the left and right of me shared a glance, "Why would we do that?" he whispered into my ear.
"Isn't this fun?" Loki to the right of me smirked as he slowly massaged my calve.
I shivered, "I kind of just, um," I blushed and tried to move my legs away again.
"You know what the best part about this spell is?" He whispered into my ear.
Loki to the left and right of me smiled coyly at me before they turned to each other and slowly kissed. My jaw slowly dropped as I flushed harder.
"I still remember the first time I used this spell in the bedroom…everyone I have ever bed loved it…especially women," his lips traced my ear as the twins before me let go of my legs, touching each other's chests and stomachs over their dress shirts. I shivered as I couldn't help but watch them, unable to tear my eyes away.
"Do you remember the dream I sent you? The one where there was two of me…?" he asked in a hushed voice. I slowly nodded, swallowing hard as I felt my stomach doing somersaults from watching one of them grip the other's hair and tilt their head back so he could kiss his neck. As Loki was getting his neck kissed, he looked back at me, licking his lip as his eyes went over me hungrily. I shrank back into the Loki behind me.
"I have so many ways I can please you…" He unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off of his shoulder, kissing his chest and making his way to his stomach as he unbuckled his belt. Loki let out a hiss, throwing his head back in pleasure. "That dream only scratches the surface of what I…we can give you…do you want us?"
It reminded me so much of that dream and I had to close my eyes and breathe deeply because I was getting so turned on.
This wasn't a dream.
This was real.
"Loki…" I whispered, trying to get a grip on myself.
"Say yes," he purred, his hand touching my thigh as it slowly slid up. I was breathing hard. I could hear the sounds of the Loki twins kissing and the little moans and breaths that came out. The sound and feel of his hand sliding up my thigh was too much, not to mention the feather light kisses he was giving made my mind turn to mush.
"I…I can't," I whimpered, as I trembled.
"Shh, of course you can," he soothed, his hand nearing its destination.
"N-No…stop!" I said, gripping his hand and pulled away, finally opening my eyes to see them all stare at me with exasperation. One of them rolled their eyes and shook his head.
"It's almost pitiful the way you deny what you so desperately need." Loki tutted, his twins faded away with a shrug.
I curled my lip, letting a scowl come to my face as I hastily stood up and left the room, ignoring Loki's frustrated sigh. I pulled on my boots and walked outside and continued walking, crunching the snow under my boots. I wanted to cry, I wanted to see Steve, but what upset me most of all…I almost gave in.
What was going on with me? Was I becoming insane? There was no denying…the physical attraction to Loki…but the thought of being with him…made my stomach turn in knots. I shook my head, kicking the snow around me angrily.
I watch the snow covered trees, hugging myself. Closing my eyes, I began pulling energy from the house into me and tried to move it to my hand. I felt the familiar, but weak tingle in my right hand and looked down to see a light glow. I tried to pull more in to myself and began to sweat from the strain. I gave up and released the energy.
I looked into the sky and the thought of Steve flashed through my mind, sparking newfound determination. I lifted my hand and aimed towards one of the trees and tried to pull energy into my hand. I gritted my teeth and pulled energy into myself again, feeling the heated tingling sensation reach my hands again and tried to put more and more into it until I started to see my hand glow brighter. I released the energy and a small ball flew away and hit one of the trees and made the trunk catch fire. I glared at the fire, wondering when my energy balls would make the explosions they used to.
"Try it again," I heard Loki's cool voice from behind me. I pretended to ignore him for a moment, needed to collect myself because I blushed when realized he was outside with me. When I'd collected myself I turned to face him silently, my arms crossed defiantly. I didn't want or need his help.
"Do it again," he commanded.
"I'm doing fine on my own, thanks," I snubbed.
"We have no time for your pride, little bird. Now do it again," he snapped, my snub obviously insulting him. Good, I would have rather had him being cross than to have him be seductive. Us being angry with each other I could handle…it was the other stuff that was so much more complicated.
I rolled my eyes and concentrated and tried to pull more energy into me. Suddenly I felt Loki behind me, his hand gripping my wrist that was aimed for the tree again. I stiffened and tried to move away. "Don't lose focus. Allow yourself to relax," Loki whispered into my ear, "Close your eyes and feel the energy. Don't think about making yourself stronger; just feel the power grow within you."
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, pulling it into me slowly, then I began to feel more than what I usually felt come into me. I gasped as I felt the familiar tingle grow in my hands and opened my eyes to see my hand glowing brightly. I let out a smile a pushed it out towards the tree, feeling pretty damn satisfied when I saw the trees fall down and practically explode.
I started to laugh, "Oh my god I did it!" I turned around smiling at Loki, "Did you see that? I did one of my energy balls!" Loki stared at me, his face a careful mask as he still held onto my wrist, "What?"
"I believe a thank you is in order," he said in a low voice.
"Oh…" I realized, "Yeah you gave me energy…. Thanks. It helped."
"Once more with feeling, Sara," he said bitterly, "Try it again, this time without my help," He he walked back and sat down on one of the chairs in the backyard. I raised a brow at him.
"I didn't realize you were my trainer," I said evenly.
"Do it," Loki said sharply.
I sighed and rolled my eyes, a habit I was forming when I was with him, and turned away from him to look at the trees again. I closed my eyes and pulled energy into me. At first I struggled, then I breathed deeply and kept my mind blank and just let the energy come to me while I gently tugged it. This time it was slightly easier to feel it flow around me. I moved it to my hands, opening my eyes to see my hands glowing brighter than what I was usually able to do on my own. I smiled at the bright energy ready to be released. "I'm doing it," I breathed. I aimed towards a specific tree, feeling the energy in my hand and threw it towards the tree, smiling when it landed where I wanted giving a nice explosion, if I do say so myself.
"Yes!" I shouted, punching into the air, "Did you see that shit? I'm going back to my bad ass self." I snapped my fingers.
"I didn't realize you were a 'bad ass' to begin with," Loki mocked, although he gave me an approving nod, "You're not done, keep going."
I glared at him, but only half heartedly since I really was excited. Giving him a mock bow, I turned around for more practice, happy that I was going to get my strength back.
…..
After practicing all day I'd finally gotten back into my groove and was able to even use my shield. Whatever happened in that moment was like a flood gate opening to me again, letting all of my powers out to me again.
"You know, you still didn't answer why you're even helping me. I figured you liked seeing me struggle," I said as I wiped my brow and turned to look at Loki sitting on the chair still.
"I'm getting bored waiting around for you to not be so pathetic anymore," Loki said as he yawned, "I just want to start killing them all, already." He leaned back leisurely, as if he had commented on the weather and not his blood thirst.
I shivered in reaction to him, "I don't understand," I said leaning against one of the brick columns on the porch, "How do you know I'm not going to just run away or something?" What is he planning?
"You won't," Loki said simply as he stared off at the sunset.
"I would," I said. It must have been something in my voice because Loki turned around to face me, "I would run away, again. And if I could, I would just take the tesseract myself." I crossed my arms as I watched him watch me. Neither one of us said anything as we simply appraised the other.
"You think you can get away from me?" Loki asked curiously after a moment, "You really think it would be possible?"
"Anything is possible."
"I don't think you will," he stretched as he spoke, a popping sound coming when he stretched his shoulders, "I think you'll be good and stay with me. You are mine after all."
I gritted my teeth, "I hate when you say that. I'm not just something you can own or control. When are you going to realize that?"
Loki scoffed, "You have much to learn."
"Oh and what you think you know everything because you've lived thousands of years?" I said angrily, "For someone who's lived so long and claims to be so cunning and wise you sure do seem to be in a dangerous predicament." I hadn't forgotten his confession to someone coming for him.
"You know nothing about what's going on," Loki narrowed his eyes and sat up, "What do you know about the ongoing in a god's life?"
"Nothing!" I shouted and threw my hands in the air, "I don't know anything about you because you don't tell me anything! You expect me to do what you say mindlessly after everything that's happened between us as if saying 'you belong to me' is enough!" I tried to sound as brooding as I could as I quoted him. He watched me with narrowed eyes. I lowered my hands, "And it's not. I can't pretend nothing's happened. You won't even apologize because you think it's your right to do those kinds of things to me... So, yeah, I would run the hell away from you and take the tesseract with me because you and the Council shouldn't have it."
Loki watched me with a raised brow for a time before he started to laugh as he stood up and walked back into the house.
I was stunned for a moment. "What?" I called after him as I stood up and followed him. Loki continued to laugh as he walked into the kitchen, "What the hell are you laughing at?" I called as he sat down on the table.
"You," Loki cackled, "The way you think is ridiculous. Make me a meal."
My face heated up as I clenched my fists at my sides, "Like hell I will!" I said before I stomped away and lay down on my bed. Burying my face in my pillow I breathed deeply, closing my eyes and tried not to think, which is very hard when you're pissed off.
"You're only making things harder on yourself," Loki voice purred out into the air.
"Just leave me alone," I replied thickly. I could feel the bed shift under his weight, "go away!" I snapped, looking up at him. Loki grabbed my arm and pulled me up to face him. I tried to pull away but he gripped my jaw to make me look at him, but I still struggled.
"No," Loki said, gripping me tighter, "Why struggle against me? Against yourself? Wouldn't be easier to just let go?" His harsh grip turned gentle as he caressed my face and pushed back my hair. His words purred into me, sending shivers down my spine, "Release yourself, Sara. Become mine, forget the world and know what real peace is. You've felt it with me before…letting go...was the feeling not such sweet bliss? You don't have to think…you don't have to remember anything anymore…all you have to do is let go."
I closed my eyes away from his intense gaze. I considered for a moment how easy it really would be to let go. What's the point? No matter where I go he'll always come back for me. I'll never get away. Maybe I should just give up…forget my past and live out those dreams…but…what about everyone? Can I forget my family? My friends? Could I forget Steve?
"…I can't…" I said softly as I slowly looked into his eyes, "You know I can't," I touched his hand gently.
Loki narrowed his eyes and pushed me down the bed, pinning my hands down with his while he pressed his chest against mine, "Why?" he hissed as his green eyes bore into mine.
I didn't flinch from his harsh gaze but my heart was pounding with how close he was. I knew that he could feel it, but he didn't move. I bit my lip before I answered him. "I can't just give in to you, Loki. Do you know how much I would hate myself if I did? You don't get it, do you? You did… terrible things to me without even batting an eye. I can't be with you. I can't do that to myself. I also can't do that to the people I love. I can't betray them. Giving in to you would be like me ripping my own heart and soul out."
I felt Loki's grip on my wrist tighten painfully, making me wince, "You owe yourself to me." Loki growled.
"No I don't," I said in a hard voice, "Are you fucking kidding me? After everything that's happened? You think holding yourself back from raping me and helping me with my powers makes me owe you?"
"I could have let you rot with the Council, I could have let you die countless times yet I saved you," Loki hissed, bringing his face close to mine.
"And torturing me and putting spells on my mind and killing innocent people kinda makes up for it," I said angrily
"You are infuriating!" Loki growled, "They way you deny yourself what you crave, what your instincts tell you." Loki leaned his face closer to mine our lips barely touching "I can feel your heart beating against me. I have tasted the evidence that proved that you enjoy my touch. I have awoken the woman inside of you and I know that that part of you will always crave me. It doesn't matter how many other men you sleep with, I will be the man you dream of, the man you crave, the man you want."
"Why do you even want me?" I shouted in his face, making Loki draw back in surprise, "You hate humans and here you are trying to get into the pants of one?!"
Loki's eyes grew hard as he said in a low voice, "I can do what I want with you. You are my toy, my tool. You are mine."
"That doesn't answer my question," I said thickly, "I don't understand you. Why are you doing this to me? Just telling me I belong to you isn't enough. I want to know why I'm being forced to live like this." I stared hard into his suddenly concealed eyes. I watched as he pulled away and got off the bed and walked out of the room.
"Hey," I called after him, "Hey I was talking to you! Answer me Loki."
"We leave for the Council when morning light comes to the skies. Make me a meal, then rest. You must be well rested before we leave." Loki said without turning back to me.
"What after one day of real practice I'm suddenly ready to fight?" I said in disbelif, "And you're avoiding my question. Loki-"
"Shut up!" Loki shouted, turning back to face me, "You blathering wench, constantly yapping away! Enough!" He grabbed my neck and pushed me hard into the wall, making me yelp in pain. My mind was working too fast for me to calm down and bring energy to me. "I do not have to answer to you. You. Are. Nothing. The only reason you are alive is because of me. You are mine," Loki he pulled me forward and pushed back to make my head hit the wall painfully. "When are you going to realize that? After I take over this world? After I save your pathetic life once again? After I kill your friends? Or perhaps I should just kill you once your usefulness has run out? Because that is how little you mean to me. You are nothing but property, and I am tired of having to listen to your incessant jabber, do you understand?"
I pursed my lips as I glared at him through misting eyes, "You're so…mean."I whispered.
"I never claimed to be nice, I am what I am and so are you," Loki said in a low voice before he slammed me into the wall again and released me, leaving me curled up in the hall.
…
After showering and getting dressed I walked into my room to see Loki lounging on my bed reading a book. I remembered him conjuring up a small library in one of the rooms shortly after we got back here. All of the books were in a language I couldn't even read in, which annoyed me because I'm sure he did it on purpose.
"I'm going to go to sleep," I said softly, the first words we'd spoken to each other all day. He ignored me. I narrowed my eyes as I watched his eyes scan the pages, jealous that he got to have some entertainmentwhile I'd been spending days doing nothing but cooking, cleaning and staring at the wall. "Do you have to sleep in my room?"
"This house doesn't belong to you, let alone this room. If you're sleepy then go to sleep." Loki said not even taking his eyes off the book. I huffed and sat down on the other side of the bed and leaned again the wall, watching him read. I shivered from the cold, anticipating what was going to go down tomorrow.
With nothing else to do I chattered my teeth loudly, to let Loki know that the freezing temperatures were getting to me. He ignored me, making me give up and go under the thick warm comforters on the bed and lie down. I kept shifting around, muttering to myself, trying to get comfortable. I moved and fluffed my pillow until I could lay my head on it. I stared at the walls, unable to sleep with the lights on. I burrowed into the comforter, making a little cocoon around myself and sighed obnoxiously loud.
"What?" Loki finally said irritably.
"Oh, you know, bored out of my mind with no books or at least some music and just a prisoner to an evil god, scared for my life, unable to see my family and friends, and about to fight the Council tomorrow." I said mildly as I looked up at the white ceiling.
"Well if that's all," He said dryly, licking his finger to turn a page.
I scowled and stared up at the ceiling, too wired up to relax and sleep. What was going to happen tomorrow? Would I die? Would I even find a way to contact Steve? What if I can't find a phone, do I even know how to work a radio? Oh, god, why didn't I learn Morse Code?
And then suddenly I heard it, almost as if it were a dream.
"When there's nowhere else to run….is there room for one more son…one more son….if you can't hold on…if you can't hold on…hold on…"
"The Killers…?" I whispered, slowly sitting up and looking for the source of the sound.
"Here," Loki said, holding an iPod touch in his hand, the music serenading from the small speakers.
"Is it mine?" I asked, bringing it close to me, tears coming to my eyes as I swiped the screen and saw a picture of my sisters and I smiling back at me. My lips trembled as I held it closer to my chest, Brandon Flowers singing to me softly…I was touched…
"Thank you…" I whispered, slowly looking through the pictures I had taken with my friends and family, unsure if it made me feel a million times better or worse…but I was so happy to have it.
"You said you were bored, did you not?" he shrugged.
I couldn't help but smile, he may not have understood what exactly he did…but he gave me hope. Not just for myself…but for him to.
"I love this song," I said softly.
"Yes…I suppose it has a nice tone to it." Loki admitted.
"What kind of music do you like?" I asked curiously.
"The kind that holds meaning and passion, not that blathering noise you hear on the radio nowadays that say the same thing over and over again." He said, a smirk coming to his face.
I let a laugh come escape my lips, "Hey, I like catchy songs sometimes, they're a guilty pleasure."
He raised a brow, shaking his head slightly, though the smirk never left his lips, "Is that so."
"Yes, it is. But here, listen to this," I said, playing the song Zombie from the Cranberries.
Loki let out a sigh and laid his book across his chest and looked up at the ceiling as he listened.
"What a beautiful voice," he said finally.
"I know. I always wished I could sing, especially like her." I sighed, nodding my head to the beat. After a while it kind of made me think of Steve. I wondered if he suffered from PTSD from the war. He had mentioned how sometimes he closed his eyes and still saw it… Was he okay? Was he thinking of me right as I was thinking of him? I wanted to see him so bad.
"You don't need a voice like hers, yours is perfectly fine," he said softly.
I looked at him in surprise, to see if he was joking, but he no longer smiled mockingly. He still wasn't looking at me but I couldn't help but think he was…being nice? But why? Why was he doing all this when just this morning he said I was nothing but property? It made no sense to me and only confused me.
I was quiet for a few moments. "Loki…about tomorrow…I don't want them to capture me again," I said softly, thinking about the possibility of that happening and what that would entail.
"They won't," Loki assured, still not looking at me as he lifted his book and continued to read. "They'll all be dead before the day is over." I shifted around until I was looking at Loki again from under my comforter cocoon. He was still reading whatever he was reading. I felt troubled at his words, knowing he really was intending to kill everyone.
"So that's your plan? Kill everyone and take the tesseract?" I said softly, "I thought you'd come up with something better."
"That is all I want. I want the Tesseract and I want their blood. Those weak Councilmen don't stand a chance against my sorcery, anyways," Loki said absentmindedly.
"But…what if they shoot you or me with their crazy serums? We'll be in deep shit if that happens," I said fearfully, thinking about how I barely just got my powers back and wasn't looking forward to the possibility of them going away again.
"They won't," Loki said, "You have your shield and I have my ways."
"Loki…" I said quietly thinking about the reality of what I might witness tomorrow looming over me, "you can't just kill everyone. That's just wrong. They're people in there who are good and just following orders." I watched Loki's body tensing up as he snapped his book closed.
"You can't be serious," Loki said giving me an outraged look, "You don't think they deserve to die?"
I was quiet for a moment, closing my eyes. I had to remind myself that we were raised differently. "I don't think anyone deserves to die. I'm actually totally against the death penalty; people should just have to live with themselves in solitude in prison. Need I remind you that I've never killed you, even when I got the chance, and I never would," I said simply as I stared up at him from my cocoon.
Now it was his turn to take a moment to be quiet. "They would kill you if they had the chance," Loki said as he stared at me intently.
"I know," I said solemnly
"And that doesn't affect you at all?" Loki said with something akin to wonder.
"It…scares me, of course. And to be honest I'd really love to punch Dr. Craven in her overly injected lips, but I wouldn't kill anyone. Like I said, I wouldn't even kill you," I said softly.
"That makes you weak," Loki sneered.
"No it doesn't" I said glaring at him, "It makes me a human being."
"Midgardians" Loki scoffed. I narrowed my eyes at Loki while he looked at me disdainfully.
"Asgardians" I said sarcastically, turning away from Loki angrily. It was quiet for a long time. I was actually starting to feel my eyes go heavy as my body relaxed. I closed my eyes, ready for sleep.
"I am of Asgard. But I am no Asgardian" Loki said softly. I tensed up, hearing the pain in Loki's voice. I opened my eyes, wondering what someone was supposed to say in a situation like this.
"Um…I think I…I think I might know what you mean" I whispered. I turned around to see Loki staring at me blankly. Loki was silent as if he wanted me to keep going, "I saw you…when we got back from the council and I was helping you get better."
Loki made no outward response. "Why did you did you never say anything?" he asked in a low voice.
I blinked, "…I don't know," I said honestly.
He swallowed, his gaze boring into mine. "Did it disgust you?" He asked in a gruff voice, his gaze filling with such intensity I pulled a little deeper into my cocoon, although I didn't break eye contact. I didn't understand why he was making such a big deal out of this. Then again, it sort of made sense, was his hatred towards the world really just a mirror to what he felt for himself? The thought made me pity him.
"No," I said softly, although genuinely, "I like the color blue. It's my favorite color, and you didn't look bad in it… You still looked like you." I felt myself blush, feeling really uncomfortable in this situation and unsure why I had to be the one to make Loki feel better.
"You've told me before that blue was your favorite color, do you remember?" he asked softly, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he looked at with an unwavering gaze.
"No," I answered in confusion.
"It was the day I nursed you back to health after you got radiation poisoning," Loki said softly.
"I got radiation poisoning?" I asked confused again. Suddenly I remembered the morning I woke up naked with Loki. "That night I can't remember…"
"Yes." Loki said softly, looking ahead his face turning thoughtful. I lay in my cocoon, wondering if Loki was ok, "You were so weak. I thought you were going to die." I shivered at the concern in his voice. Loki always did and said things that confused me. I didn't know why he showed concern for me when he just as easily showed cruelty, "I brought you back to health. You told me a few things about yourself while you were in your feverish state, though."
"Oh god, like what?" I said worried that I had embarrassed myself in front of the God of Mischief by telling him how I peed on myself in the first grade or something equally embarrassing.
"About the boy three years ago," Loki said quietly, I felt myself tense up on the subject, really wishing I hadn't asked, "You were so distraught…and vulnerable. I calmed you down." I felt myself shaking at the thought of me opening up to Loki about something I'd never even fully told Steve.
"…I can't believe I told you that…" I said softly.
"Well, you know how I truly look. I suppose we're, how would you say it? Even." Loki said looking back at me and says bitterly, "You tell me how you think you're a monster, and then I show you what a real monster looks like."
My brows knitted together, "Hey," I protested as I came out of my cocoon, "You being a monster has nothing to do with your looks. To be honest the whole blue thing is actually kinda cool. The reason you're scary is because you kill and torture people without batting your eye, and your scary angry face. Trust me, there are a lot of reasons I could call you a monster, but you turning blue isn't one of them." I nodded; surprising myself at my words, then went back into my cocoon embarrassedly, "So yeah."
Loki was quiet for a long time, his eyes searching mine before he raised a brow. "Am I supposed to take that as a compliment?" Loki said dryly.
I huffed out a laugh, "I don't know," I said softly.
Loki gazed at me for a long time again before he leaned down and pulled my chin towards him to give me another gentle kiss. I shivered from the contact, feeling confused about the whole thing. Suddenly Thor's words rang through my head.
He's not evil at heart.
I felt my chest tighten as I considered the possibility of his words. Loki pulled back slowly, his eyes half closed.
"Go to sleep," Loki said softly, "We leave in the morning," he picked up his book and started to read again. I lay in my cocoon, unable to sleep now with the weird conversation Loki and I had. Nothing he did made sense to me. Suddenly a thought occurred to me.
"Loki," I said softly, watching his gaze turn back to me, "You don't have to do this, you know. We don't have to face the Council. We don't have to get the tesseract back."
His face turn into an emotionless mask as he stared at me. "What would you have me do then? Spend eternity here in this cabin with you?" Loki said bluntly.
I pressed my lips together at his words. "No." I said, unable to think of something else to say.
"Just go to sleep, Sara." Loki said turning back to the pages before him, "You will not convince me this time to postpone the visit the Council so rightfully deserves."
I sighed and turned away from Loki, giving up and just lay down, wondering if it was possible for me to save anyone tomorrow. There had to be a way for me to get away from Loki. As soon as he was distracted I would just make a run for it. With that rough plan in mind I figured there was nothing else for me to do but just continue to listen to music and let it calm my nerves somewhat.
"Can you at least use your abracadabra to read in the dark or something? I hate having to sleep with the lights on." I mumbled after a while. I heard Loki let out a low chuckle and I saw the lights suddenly turn off. I sighed with relief and snuggled into my cocoon, thinking about tomorrow and how I would somehow get in contact with Steve one way or another.
…
…
"Are you ready?" Loki asked as he made his full armor appear on his body. His antlers were in all its golden glory gleaming at me. I pressed my lips together wondering what I was getting myself into and almost wished I had something impressive to wear like all of my other super friends besides the hoodie I usually donned for battle.
"Before we leave," I said as I zipped up my thick jacket up, "You can't leave me there, okay? I'll kill myself before I let myself get captured by them. And I won't leave you either. Deal?" I said as I pulled out my hand for Loki to shake. Loki stared at my hand with a raised eyebrow, "Uh. You're supposed to shake my hand. Shaking hands mean-"
"I know what they are," Loki interrupted while he grasped my hands in his and pulled me closer, "And I had no intention of leaving you there with those vermin. I still need you, remember? Do not be afraid." He said as he pat my head.
I narrowed my eyes, determination of getting away from him sparking. "I can't help it," I said softly, "But, yeah, I guess I'm ready."
"Then we leave at once," Loki said pulling me closer to him and I felt the familiar pull from us teleporting out of the cabin.
…
So, now Sara has her powers completely again and she's going to go with Loki to get the Tesseract back? What the hell is Steve going to do when he finds out? Where is that beautiful side-part soldier anyways?! What the heck is going to happen next?!
Hey, guys! So here's the chapter, I'm sorry it's not as long as the last few, but well, I really have no excuse besides the fact that I just want to end it here. Anyways, things are going to start getting crazy, I guess that's obvious since they're going to face the Council! Will Dr. Craven's plastic surgery gone wrong face be back?! Maybe, but anyways, I hope this chapter is alright. It was really hard to write. I had a lot of struggle with trying to type out what Loki and his clones were doing to Sara, but I hope you liked that scene *wink* I keep teasing all you Loki/Sara shippers, but honestly they're going to need time and a huge shift in their relationship. *Hint* *Hint* That shift is going to happen in the next chapter! Steve/Sara shippers, don't worry, darlings! Captain America will be making his appearance sooner or later! Thank you all so much for reading this chapter and just reading my story period. It means so much when you guys like it or just leave those lovely reviews. They make my life, truly and they put such a huge smile on my face and make me write faster, I swear it does! So, um, if that isn't a hint to get some feedback I don't know what is. Anyways, have a wonderful night!
Until next time,
Cozy