BETA by Halo140
BURNING EMBERS
DISCLAIMER: Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.
I own nothing. Enjoy
missmusicteach
EPILOGUE
Annie
No matter how many times I hear the rumbling sounds of thunder, I'm still that lonely little girl trapped in a run-down trailer back in Missouri. As each angry thundering duplicated ten-fold, I strangled out weak yelp, causing myself to slightly jump. The humid muggy air stuck my bangs to the sides of my face as I stare moody and stern at the man before me.
"Princess?" I didn't recognize his voice, not that I could right now, anyway. There were more important things at stake than figuring out the identity of the person watching me.
Christian warned, well urged me to stay calm as a large squall was making landfall on the southern Californian coast tonight. My expectation was to the have my guardian angels around me, but I was down to one. Goosebumps formed over my damp skin as the thought terrified me.
It was a struggle to draw breath as sharp pains swelled across my swollen belly where my daughter has safely rested for the last nine months. Muttering utter nonsense at myself, I knew the baseline for all expectant mothers. I'd read the books, so I have to be an expert. Braxton Hicks contractions are common throughout the later stages of pregnancy but fuck every member of the gynecological field for not giving me the memo that they intensify. I was burning as spot fires blazed over my stretched skin, lower back, hips and down below. Let's face some truth here. I swear I have flames blowing out of my vagina. Each time the pain escalates, I'm spiraling that little further down to Hell.
But, all I wanted was to know was, where the fuck was my fiancé?
Thunder crackled repeatedly, shaking our new beach house. The glass walls facing the Pacific Ocean rattled with vigour. Please don't break, please don't break, I chanted to myself unsure if it did happen, I doubted I could call for help. Startled for the umpteenth time tonight, a flare of white light brightened my sight even with my eyes clamped shut. As I opened to see I was only plunged back in darkness hearing the light rumbles of thunder in the distance.
Why, oh why, did Mother Nature decide tonight to rein hell down on me?
"Owie, Owie, OWIEEE!" My moans, evolved into screeching banshee calls. God, it feels like I'm being ripped in two, from ass to navel. "I don't even know—" Another gush fell between my legs. I needed to breathe. Evaluate what's happening, but the pain was constant, refusing to give me a moment's peace. "Ahhh. GOD… ELLIOT! Elliot, where are you?" I was bearing down on all fours grunting, clenching my molars I hoped it would ease the burning agony between my thighs.
I lifted my head to see the man who was covered in salt and pepper hair. He wouldn't have been older than fifty. That's when I noticed the bastard, hooking a small grin. If he thought this was a laughing matter he had something better coming. Now if I could only stand up and kick him in the balls.
I didn't know his name or why he was in my kitchen? As the pain elevated, his large hands eased me to my feet. He had no words, only a slight Rocker head tap to his left, showing an unconscious Elliot on my kitchen floor.
Wiping my clammy palms down my tattered maternity jeans, I was shocked to feel them utterly saturated and warm. It's ok Annie, everything is under control, you've just peed your pants. Trying my best to glance around my huge bump, I was shocked when I noticed a pinkish watery liquid covering the cloth over my legs.
"Be careful. I don't want you to slip. I don't want you to injure yourself after this rather eventful reunion." My eyes darted to the floor, staring at the puddle under my feet. "Princess," The older man whispered, stroking my brow, then through my hair with a kitchen towel, "Ell let me in. Your water broke as I walked into the kitchen. Well what can I say… he saw the blood and you know how he is… shall I holler out Rocker Down, Rocker Down!" He chuckled, shaking his head.
"Blood!?" I exclaimed. He's hurt? "Oh my God, Elliot!" I tried to check Ell but the man stopped me.
"Elliot's fine, out cold. When he wakes he'll have a throbbing headache but leave him be. You're fine." The man rubbed my upper back. It was comforting. "The baby is fine, Princess." With those few words, my racing heart calmed. For once I didn't cringe hearing that name. "How far apart are the contractions, Anastasia? I've seen at least five in only a matter of minutes."
"Con-trac-tions—" A painful bolt sprinted from my chest down to my vagina. It was excruciating and unbearable. Contractions? What was he on about, these are Braxton Hicks, practice ones. Oh God, "CONTRACTIONS?" I groaned through gritted teeth.
A flash of light returned as thunder rumbled dissipating to nothing. I hate storms, I hate storms, I hate storms.
"I… I don't know?" I crinkled my face, not sure if the pain was surging again. "I've had a dull ache in my back and around my stomach since… I don't know, last night? It's gradually gotten worse, but I've dealt with—" The realization hit me. I'm in labor. I'M IN FUCKING LABOR! "Christian, needs to be here… FUUUUCK!" I grasped my taut belly. The urge to be on fours was primal. "I need my jeans off, they are digging into me…"
I stopped suddenly. I didn't know who this man was? All I knew, the guys wanted to introduce a new member to the Burning Embers family to me. What ever that meant? All day I had been preparing for this banquet of a dinner and all day my back was being a pain in the ass. Oh God…
"Ahhh my BACK…." I blew quick puffs of air through my mouth trying to ease the intense torture.
"Darling, do you want me to soothe your back by rubbing it or a heated cloth, maybe? Your mother found that helped during her tedious labor. You on the other hand Princess, I feel this will be an abridged version."
"What?" My reply was breathy as sweat poured from my forehead trying to decipher his confusing words.
"Come on, I'll help you get your pants off." His voice remained calm and relaxed.
I froze for a moment but any worry abated quickly. I don't fucking care anymore. I've had more than my share of gynecologists, nurses and endless medical staff who have seen my vagina at all angles, so I'll just add this guy to my list. Honestly, does it really matter?
"Oh God, you're not going to film this, are you?"
"Should I?" Oh no, and the tears began to fall, Christian isn't here. "Darling, don't worry about it." The pain surged again or maybe its just intensified again, it's all becoming a blur.
"Fuck it! Cut it off, cut it off…HURRY!" I panted in-between my words, making my throat dry, "… there are scissors… in the second drawer… Oh my God! I'm having the baby… and no one's here other than useless Ell." I turned to see he was still in the same position but alive. You wait Elliot Grey when I get my hands wrapped around your neck! "Where the fuck is my fiancé? Where's Christian?" I sobbed, with everything hitting me like a tonne of bricks.
The man fumbled through the drawer, finding the scissors. "I sent a text message notifying him I had arrived, but when I tried to call, my phone reception was out. It's only open for emergencies, 911."
"This is a fucking emergency!" I pointed between my legs, "QUICK!" The man snipped along the seams of my jeans and they peeled away from my damp skin. "Use the house phone, call Chris." I huffed out loud.
"The house phone, it's out. Darling, the power is out in the whole neighborhood."
I opened my eyes and saw the endless holiday dribble, grave stones, witches and warlocks, spiders and their webs. Tomorrow, I was going to carve a pumpkin! A slight burst of air blew through the kitchen causing the darken room to flicker with a golden glow of the pumpkin scented candles I had lit earlier this afternoon.
I'm going to give birth under flames.
My hand went directly between my thighs, my panties were completely soaked. I struggled with sheer exhaustion and this damn huge ass bump at any attempt to remove them. I was thankful as the man used my scissors to snip them off.
"Honey, you're having a baby." He had tears in his eyes and looked between my legs. "You're having a baby." His voice was full of joy and excitement, not a single hint of fear or worry.
I nodded trying to be polite but it's a little hard when a watermelon is trying to escape from your vagina.
"Anastasia, I can see the head."
I sobbed into my kitchen tiles, this wasn't how I planned my daughter's birth. It was a simple check list-
1. Hospital,
2. Drugs, of copious amounts and assortments; and
3. My guys with me, Christian ready to catch her.
Tears fell as I stared at my thoughtful ring on my left hand. Christian insisted having a huge pink rock, but I didn't desire the enormous price tag wrapped around my finger. I wanted an engagement ring which represented our love, our story. God, I adore him, he created such beauty for the occasion.
Damn it, I wanted my fiancé, my guardian angel with me. Right now!
Why did Ethan need to get apprehensive about meeting his half-sister, Kate. Apparently, he couldn't help but down six tequila shots before 8am, grabbing the SUV keys. We couldn't allow him to leave the house grounds, let alone become road death statistic on the way to Fresno. Since Elliot didn't come home until dawn we didn't trust his sobriety, Christian had no choice but be designated driver there and back. I couldn't say no to Ethan, he's my big brother I didn't know what was about to unfold. Luke wasn't being discharged from voluntary rehab until the third of next month. He's done so well after 75 days being sober, we all hope he's ready to share his nightmares with us. Damn Elliot was passed out on our kitchen floor, how can a grown man be afraid of blood. And this little one, you're not suppose to arrive for at least another five days! God damn it, I need my guys!
Hooking my moist hair behind my ears, shaking off the thought I was alone. I wasn't. This caring man was helping me every step of the way.
Swaying my body on all fours I tried to ease some pain. I noticed a doll lying on the floor. It looked familiar but foreign. I swear it was a carbon copy of the one I had as a child before Carla completely destroyed it beyond repair, but? Arching my brow I gaped at the man kneeling next to me. No, he couldn't, could he?
"Are you ready my little Princess" He whispered. Both his hands soothing my lower back, preparing me for what was about to happen.
I smiled calm and ready. With no point of return, my body was involuntarily pushing, I couldn't help but contribute. Clawing the tiles with my chewed back nails, I opened my hips and bared down.
…..
All discomfort alleviated as a small whimper echoed through the kitchen. I had a baby covered in thick white mucus and blood on my hands. Instantly, I plopped it onto my stretched beyond repairs pink Burning Embers t-shirt. I tried my best to pull it down so it could nestle its body on my aching breasts. I was at a loss, I had no idea what I was supposed to do now! I was counting on hospital staff to help me with this process.
The man found some large towels, a plush blanket to cover us. I double checked to ensure we were told correctly. A girl, she's a girl!
"Darling, I finally got through…" His phone was tightly held in his hand, "the paramedics are only a few minutes away… So is it a boy? You could name him after me," He joked wiggling his brows.
I shook my head, "No, she's my little baby girl." My finger stroked her thick mucky crown trying to see the color of the little hair she had on it. Copper, a head of flames.
"Darn, well that's a shame! Never any boys. Well there is always next time. I'll need to get Christian right onto it," He shrugged but I could see the smirk over his face.
"Next time? Oh I don't think so. I'm waiting a good few years, or ten." I chuckled to myself. I'm going on some kind of birth control, tomorrow. I beamed at my little bundle, I was mesmerized by her perfection. "Oh God, I'm so sorry. Well that happened rather quick. I guess you didn't think an introduction to the Burning Embers family would mean delivering their first offspring. I guess you're a Grandfather now." I giggled at the thought of this mystery man, continuing to coo at the bundle on my chest.
He laughed, and picked up the doll I saw earlier. "This was for my second daughter, Tatiana, unfortunately she never made it home from the hospital. I've kept this for many years, hoping her big sister would collect it." The man tidies her hair and neatened the dress, "But I think it's more appropriate for your daughter to have this gesture. I'm sure Tatiana would have wanted it."
I held the small toy in my hand, "It's odd. I had a doll just like this…" I whispered, unsure if he heard, "Oh I'm at a loss, I still don't know your name?"
"There is no need to apologize, Darling, my name is Ray. Sometimes these guys of yours call me R.L.S."
"God — you're Ray, RLS! Chris talks about you briefly in passing, but it's nice to finally put a face to the—"
"Anastasia." He paused, "My full name is Raymond Leonard Steele."
I gasped. Gripping my daughter tighter.
Impossible.
"I may have known your mother." Ray cleared his throat, "She broke my heart after we lost one of our twins. She became a little unstable and severely distressed… Oh I'm sorry, I shouldn't be going into this, you've just had a beautiful baby. I think we'll keep the heavy conversation for another time." He smiled, "So this evening the band had decided to surprise you with me, as your well… Oh and also I'm Burning Embers new manager."
"What! What? Hang on…" Tears were falling now, and not new mother tears. No, these were overwhelming tears at the revelation.
"I'm your new boss." He winked.
"And father," I whispered so soft I wasn't sure the words escaped my lips. The tears finally burned and fell. He found me.
…..
"Ana? Jesus, where are you? I got Ray's message." Christian yelled from the foyer.
"Kitchen." My hoarse voice ached as I called out.
Two pairs of heavy feet rushed across the house, "I tried to call to let you know we were running late due to the storm. The traffic was absolutely shit. Hopefully it wasn't too much of a disaster without me." Both Chris and Eth chuckled at one another, "Hey, it looks like the whole neighborhood has blacked out, thank God you bought fifty candles last week for… Umm Ana why the hell is my brother on the floor?" The SUV keys dropped on to the tiled floor as Chris noticed me draped in a blanket with remnants of my waters and blood over the floor. Instantly feeling nervous, I quickly tucked my damp hair behind my ears trying to gain some order as I neaten my appearance for my guy.
"Hi," I waved my blood covered hand at both men. A large smile grew over my face as I felt my little bundle wiggle towards my nipple. "Sweet baby Jesus… Ouch!" Yeah, totally natural getting your nipple sucked to death. Honestly I've never seen Christian's mouth opened as wide even during a back-to-back orgasm. "Please don't faint like your brother." I giggled, knowing he wouldn't but I didn't want him to fall over the bloody mess. "You Ok Eth?" He didn't look much better than Christian.
"Ana. You… are you… but the baby… how…there's…" He mumbled unable to string a meaningful sentence together. Suddenly his face went pale. A little scared, he was going to collapse. I gestured, patting the blanket for him to sit next to me. Pulling down my now red shirt, the little head of newborn popped through.
"We had a baby!"Christian's voice squeaked. Looking at me, then at our bundled, around the room and back to the baby.
I, on the other hand cleared my throat and hooked my brow at him.
"Ok, you had the baby but in the kitchen. Holy fuck you had the BABY! Is she ok?" He rubbed his thumb over my cheek, leaning in kissing my dry lips. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here, I feel like an asshole and—"
Pulling back trying to catch my breath, not from pain but the overwhelm sensation of love in… our kitchen."We're fine Christian. Isn't she…"
"Perfect. Pure perfection like her Momma," That single look, made me fall in love with him all over again.
"Christian it was just so… fast." The memory still fresh in my mind as a burning sting continues between my legs.
"About 12 minutes in total from her water breaking to birth. Talk about a hell of a dinner starter." Ray chortled, wiping away the tears which were falling from his eyes.
"Ahh so Sis you finally met Ray." Ethan chuckled, patting Ray on the back and shaking Christian's hand. "Jesus Annie, did you say… she! A girl! A girl! I have a niece, I'm a mother-fucking Uncle."
"Did… someone mention Girls?" Elliot's groggy voice came from the floor, only to be stopped abruptly when he looked at my bodily fluids all over the kitchen tiles, passing out instantly again.
"Ahh see Annie ultimate chick whisper. I told you last night you were in labour, but you shrugged it off." Ethan whispered as he tried to see his new niece.
"Jesus Ana, why didn't you say anything? I wouldn't have gone with Eth today."
"I didn't know! It doesn't matter, maybe next time you can be at the birth." He smiled at my conclusion, yes I want to have more, but just not tomorrow.
"No need to worry Papa Grey," Ray shook Christian's hand, "This old guy is useful for a few things," He waved his phone in the air.
"Ray, you sure aren't just a pretty face. Thanks!" Christian had tears in his eyes and grabbed the phone and we started to watch the birth in action replay.
"Yes thank you," I looked back at Ray and smiled "Grandpa."
…..
My shirt wiggled and tugged as tiny grunts broke me from my memory of that insane night.
"Oh sorry baby girl, are you hungry?" My little one pulled at my old faithful pink Burning Embers t-shirt, the very one I wore close to four months ago. The stormy night she was born.
I promised myself pregnancy will never shock me again. So I insisted with determined force for my doctors to put me on birth control. Within 48 hours of having Phoenix Ashley Grey, I started taking the mini-pill which is safe while breastfeeding. Perfect for bubba's milk and Momma's uterus.
Nix as she's known by her Uncles, well honestly she's not so little now. She was a perfect 6 pound 11 ounces as a newborn. Now she feels like a dead weigh popping my shoulders from their sockets at fourteen pounds. I've taken my mini-pill religiously and the majority of the time Chris wears a condom. I have an app on my phone as a reminder as well as my gorgeous guy remind me and at times so does Mr part-time gynaecologist, Ethan.
But here I am sitting on the edge of my bathtub thinking back to that night. The night when everything changed. I had my daughter on the tiles of my kitchen, under flickering flames. Phoenix was the only name which seemed appropriate for this copper haired girl. Apparently I christened the house according to Ethan. A hell of a baptism of fire to motherhood I say.
As Nix suckles on my right breast, I shake my head in disarray. How could this be possible? My thumb twisted my engagement ring around my finger, it's much looser compared to when it was first given to me. It's beautiful and I appreciate it with all my heart. I stared at the Red Fire Opal surrounded by very small Tourmaline and Alexandrite gem stones. The band were links, four in total. Each representing one of my guys encrusted with my birth stones of deep pink sapphires of course, all adorned in rose gold. Christian worked hard to have it especially designed and hand crafted. It doesn't look like much but each element of the band means the world to me. I'm thankful he returned that absurd platinum, 5 carat pink diamond engagement ring. It wasn't me at all, once he saw my face he knew. Diamonds are not this girl's best-friend.
My free hand went straight to my mouth and I chewed back my nails to the wick.
"Well this maybe a sign. Time to grow up and set a date Annie. No need to stuff around Papa anymore, right Nix?" I cooed at my daughter. Her beautiful blue eyes looked back at me just like the night she was born. Only now the cheeky girl is grinning, causing her milk to dribble down her face.
Oh baby girl, no time for giggling, this let down is intense. Don't waste it, feed up.
Who would believe four scruffy teenagers from Missouri would become the most amazing men central to my universe… and my father. The transition to motherhood has been incredibly easy and I thank these Gods in their own rights. The last four months have flown and they have barely let me raise a finger after Nix made her abrupt entry to the world.
Luke protects and treats Nix like his own. Elliot volunteers to regularly change diapers, I'm not too happy with him for using her as a wing-baby to gain dates along Malibu beach. Ethan plays, reads and cherishes Nix like a little sister. It melts my heart as it reminds me the way our special friendship began so many years ago. And lastly Papa Christian. I have never seen a man give so much love to such a small soul. I'm glad my daughter has two loving parents. Something we both lacked during our childhood.
Both Christian and Ray have kept a close eye on me because they know how I can be - stubborn and defiant. But with four to eight feeds per night have set a toll on my sanity and I don't have the energy to argue.
It's beyond surreal finding Ray and saying his title, Father, Daddy, Dad. He is my real father, not a faint memory or a dream. I'm shocked he looked for me and Carla for years. This was a sweet caring Carla, someone I never met. I couldn't not forgive him for that, it was the least he'd deserved. When Christian told me he had a poster of Ray's rock band Irons, Stone, Steele on his bedroom wall back in Missouri, I stared at those blue eyes most nights, wishing they were my Dad's since Carla's were a dark brown. The icing on the cake was discovering he was Christian's mentor, a father figure he had been speaking with back and forth over the years. I felt like there had been some sort of cosmic shift in my small universe of men, obviously meaning that we were going to meet at some point. Who would have guess that it would take place delivering his first granddaughter.
Having Ray a part of my life, as well as my daughter's, makes a smile appear on my face, a smile I never, ever want to get rid of.
I had so many questions and Ray kindly answered no matter how difficult it must have been for him to answer. When I asked about my twin - Tatiana, I held my little Nix tightly in my arms, refusing to let her go. For my sister to die while entering this world but for me to be blessed with life, is such a bitter sweet thing Mother Nature can give and take in a single moment. No one ever told me that I had a sibling, let alone a twin. My mother, Carla never did anything but abuse and neglect me. In hindsight, maybe she blamed me for her daughter's death… but I'll never know. Hopefully they are both at peace together for eternity.
The Father, Daughter relationship has slowly been developing between the two of us. His kind blue eyes and warm smile are only a few of the things that make being around Ray Steele special. Oh and of course, seeing the old guy with his granddaughter cradling in his arms has me in tears every time. Damn hormones still playing havoc with my body.
Christian, my guy has been a multitudes of everything. He's my rock and hard place, my soft comfy pillow and my tough masseuse, my personal chef and my never ending personal feeder, the night watchman and the quick butt changer, but my favourite, the eternal lover.
Seeing him with our daughter; playing with her and singing her lullabies… it warms my heart, stirring those flames around in my forever growing soul. I'm always so tongue tied and utterly exhausted to find the perfect words to thank him for his everything, so I love you suffices for now.
Twisting Nix copper curls around my fingers, I'm glad Burning Embers agreed to tour in the new year when she is a little older, but I have this flickering feeling inside that plans maybe changing… fast.
I grabbed the white stick from the counter as Nix continued to feed on my breast. I turned it over.
PREGNANT 2-3 weeks
…..
"So how are my girls this morning?" Christian whispered over the phone. I could hear instruments playing away on loop and it was obvious he was in the studio working.
"I've changed my mind? I want to do it today!" My heart was pounding, what happens if he doesn't agree?
"Umm what are you talking about? Ana I know last night you weren't feeling well but I can't drop everything right now and make love to you. It's tempting, trust me, I feel like my balls are going to explode—"
"No! Shhh, listen." I paused, my palm was sweating over the phone, it was now or never. "Married, I want to get married. I'm sorry I've been a hormonal mess, and a colossal bitch with you all these months. I know you wanted to get married the day after you asked but I didn't know what I wanted and then Nix came so quickly I was in shock, but I know now. The time is perfect."
"You're not shitting me are you?" He gulped.
"No this is most definitely not a prank. I want to get married. I realise now nothing is stopping us and that I love you, Nix… and the baby." I held my breath waiting.
There was a sudden thud and smack on the other end and the possibility of Christian fainting hadn't passed me.
"Christian?" I whispered, trying not to disturb Nix sleeping in the crook of my arm. "CHRISTIAN?" I tried my best at yelling, quietly.
"You're…" His voice was much louder.
"Yes."
"But we're careful, I wear condoms for fucks sakes... most of the time... Holy shit, Nix is only—-"
"I know, I know, and… So do you wanna get married?" I giggled.
"I'm already finding flights to Vegas."
~THE END~
AN:
Sorry not sorry, long message ahead!
I have appreciated each and every reader during the BE journey.
Burning Embers began in early April, at the time I was hit by a roadblock with the story I was writing. Late one night I read, "The Rocker that Holds Me" and the bunny started hopping. The ladies of NaNoWriMo Camp (April) - motivated me, pushed me and opened my eyes to new skills to finish this bunny. Somehow I really did completed it! Holy Moly!
Now, I can't forget to thank Halo140. She volunteered to BETA BE. The hours she slaved over my jumbled, misspelled words and horrid grammatical errors over the last two months but always kept asking for more. Lol
A special mention to the wonderful and brilliant author Stargazer93. This epilogue would still be unfinished (and some chapters too) if it wasn't for her magical guidance, amazing ideas and words. I still believe I would be lost without your daily presence! Thank you, thank you!
If you are planning to read/compare BE to the original "The Rockers" series by Terri Ann Browning, I would love to hear your thoughts, PM here on ff or add the discussion on my fb page/messenger or any of the FSoG FF groups I'm a part of.
Again I've cherished every review, PM, favourite, and follow throughout this crazy ride! Since I have had a few requests regarding a playlist, I have complied all the songs which helped me throughout the writing process (That I could remember listening to, or were in my notes). I will post this playlist tomorrow (or maybe in a few hours lol).
WOW, I can't believe it's over… for now. Until next time, laters.
missmusicteach