Idea From: Shadow/phantomness

Abuse

"Some of you may have been thinking that past week, wow, what a bitcharooni," Misty said, grinning in the camera's direction. Nervously, knowing you had once or twice thought so, you reached for your remote, but the girl kept smiling. "Don't you dare. I'm not on the TV, I'm in your mind. You can't escape me. Sit down, relax and we're going to have a talk."

Although you felt it might have been wiser to at least attempt an escape, something in her voice makes you pause. You lean forward to the screen, subconsciously glad when she continues, "This is dramatic effect, you see I'm drastically OOC. I'm a bit different on the show, not as bitchy. Ash, you wouldn't say I was bitchy, would you?"

"Bitchy!" He repeated in an incredulous tone. "Catty, of course. Blackmailing, yes. Underhanded and conniving, always. But bitchy? I wouldn't say you were bitchy, Mist. It goes without saying."

"So what?" snapped Natty, clutching a large bowl of homemade chicken salad. "She states her opinion, has a temper, does things on her own instead of sniveling in a corner like most heroines. And she's not all lighthearted about it either! I followed that! Her and other Misty types were my rolemodels. But, oh no, God forbid a woman loses her temper! A man can, but if a woman does it just ignore it! She's just bein' a bitch! How about you take whatever you're overcompensating for and shove it up you-" the show censored her swear, a fanfiction logo popping up in front of her mouth. "It's not like it'll hurt, since it's so tiny and all! And all you women like that? Shut up and grow a backbone! You have to work to earn my pity, doing nothing to protect yourself doesn't deserve a thing. It deserve a swift kick in the keister."

"Natty," Misty scolded. "That's not what we're talking about."

"I, dear friends, am a bitch. Therefore, everything I say constitutes as bitchiness which is what we're discussing, right?"

"No, Natty, eat your chicken," Misty sighed. The girl merrily did so. "Alright, thanks to Ash's comment, and the fact that he's the only guy here., he's going to help me show you the difference from the Canon mallet abuse and the non canon actual abuse."

"I don't wanna be here."

"We don't want you here Ash," she agreed. "Thankfully, you are and I have a nice way to get revenge. It's time to demonstrate abuse, so get up and we'll get the beating over quick so your true love can come save you."

He smiled. "Mommy!"

She rolled her eyes and took out her large brown mallet, giving him a good smack into the red, plush carpet of the elaborately decorated room. As if they were somehow rich and glamorous, perhaps a dictator of some poor country they were slowly stealing the money from so they could live an overly lavish lives. He moaned and curled up into a ball, and Misty moaned in return furious at him for ruining her point.

She sighed and dropped her head back to stare at the golden ceiling. "Okay, in a normal situation, Ash would moan for a moment, then pop up perfectly fine. Tell the nice viewers why you aren't popping up perfectly fine."

"You'll hit me again," he whispered.

"Hells yes," Misty cheered, pumping a proud fist in the air. "So, Ash, you can moan on the floor and let me kick you in your nasty parts or stand up and take a blow to the face like a manly man. You want to be a manly man, don't you?"

Natty smiled up from her half eaten bowl of chicken salad. "He wants to, but lacks the ability."

Ash jumped up with a defiant "do too" and was immediately punched in the jaw by the redhead, knocking him sideways. Then, a second fist hit his temple, knocking him out. While she waited for him to recuperate, she shook her hands loosely, giving them a tight squeeze shut now and then, before the boy stumbled back onto his feet. He held his head and looked around baffled.

"That's physical abuse, not comedic." She and Natty exchanged half hidden smiles. "Well, it's not technically comedic, but a few people might find it funny, and it will leave a lingering effect. It's something that doesn't last only a second, but gets carried around with you until you're a very good psychiatrist, and get some very good meds."

Ash made a small whimpering sounds. "Where's Pikachu and my Mommy?"

"They've died Ash," Misty said bluntly. "I ate them."

His brown eyes went wide and he dropped to his knees, throwing out his arms and a very novella-like, "(upside down question mark) Por que?" before curling up in his orb of self hate and doing his raincloud emo bit.

"Y'know, I think the emo children learned it from pokémon. Watch the episode where he catches a krabby, total emo kid when they mock him."

"So, now this is emotional abuse, which is the only other type you're likely to use in fanfiction. No, people won't get like this for stupid reasons." She pinched the bridge of her nose to fight off the incoming headache. "If Ash calls me a runt or I call him stupid, we will not began to sob. That's stupid. Real emotional abuse is doing this to the point that the other believes it and it hurt, it's not teasing, which it always is with us. Ash and I were never hurt by our arguments. However, if I pried into his deepest insecurities and used those to keep him away from everything he loves, that's emotional abuse. I hope that explained the difference. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think we're going to have a repeat of yesterday."

Misty raised her foot above Ash's head and you tried to figure out whether to gag or laugh at the sound of Ash's scream a sickening crunch, and the rousing chorus of Weasel Stomping Day.

Moral of the Story: …It's fun to hurt Ash. No, but really, there's a difference in abuse and comedy. If they're fine, that's not abuse. Also, if you want legitimate reasons for breaking up a couple, go online and google what makes an abusive relationship. Learn to tell the difference. And, no, a character will never be traumatized by hammerspace. However, if you get a real, metal hammer and bash his head…

And, a little curiosity from a TV commercial: how crazy do you have to be to count the calories in Tic Tacs? Really? That you have to cut out the sugar? Because I'm pretty sure that isn't aimed at diabetics…

Poor quality, I know, but I've got so much work to do...