Author's Note:

Thank you for reviewing! I love to get them, and try to respond to them. Yay! Gaaruto was noticed! He is an original character, and I have been planting his existence since the beginning chapters. I love making characters and work hard on their histories and personalities, and I hope you have liked the few I have added into this, such as Junji, Hari and Tetsuo. And of course, the mysterious girl from Gaara's memory. Also, Sasuke will eventually show up, probably within the next five or so chapters, some chapters end up getting divided so I can't say exactly when, but he is on his way, so don't worry. :D

As always, please review, they help inspire!

(Also, I hope the second half of this chapter is suitable, didn't have much time before work to proof that part of it, so it was only a quick skim)

Gaara

I had finally done it. It had taken me two weeks to do it, but I had finally done it. Something that was beautiful. Sort of. It was more like acceptable and somewhat recognizable, but it was in fact, a thing. A real thing. It sat there in the sand as it dissolved away, standing proud and completely unbroken. Unlike the last several attempts at anything other than a blob or box or circle. This was a real, for honest thing, and I was going to take it. "Hari, look!" I was perhaps far too excited for my own good.

He came over to inspect it, picking the object carefully up from the sand. It had cooled fully, I had been extra careful this time and allowed a full two days for it to cool down. Two days of staring at the little gourd on my desk impatiently waiting to see if I had made yet another mistake in my attempts at making some sort of glass thing that I could give to Naruto when I went to Konoha in a week.

A week. It was getting closer. I had written him a letter a while ago, but I had not received a response from him. It was worrying me. He had completely fallen off the grid. Nobody had seen him, he had made no appearances on television and even Temari mentioned that Shikamaru had not mentioned much about him other than being troublesome. What in the hell was he doing that would keep him completely out of the news? More importantly, how in the hell was he feeling? He had been so ill when I had left. Had he gotten better? Worse? I desperately wanted to know. Even my Suna plants in Konoha couldn't give my any news on the matter.

In Shikamaru's words, it truly was troublesome. It made me antsy to leave. I just had to finish this first. This little glass token. It was a birthday gift, not much of one, but it was definitely a thing. Hari set the little thing down and smiled up at me. "Amazing, truly amazing. You are a real natural at this, so you know. Took me years to make something to this caliber. I mean, you still got a ways to go and all, but hey, so you got something already." He held it up to me. "Be careful with it. Glass is delicate, breaks easy, especially when they are like this. So, I can't wait until you return, if you want, that is, to continue?"

I took the little thing from him. I had been angry a few times when the things I had tried to make turned out into a broken mess, or had collapsed in the sand because I had jarred it too soon. It had been a long process, and I had put off a few meetings in order to accomplish my little project. Nobody complained though, most seemed decently surprised I had decided to try my hand at glassmaking. My meetings were moved to night when my sessions at Hari's glass studio were over and my paperwork usually waited until nightfall anyway. It was easier to complete without the noises of the office and city keeping me distracted from the things I needed to do.

"Hey, um, Gaara?" He looked a little perturbed at me.

I frowned. "Yes?"

"You didn't hear a word I just said, huh?" He sighed and headed out of his kiln room and into the main entrance of his glass studio.

I followed him silently. "I would like to continue."

He stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Yeah? That is great! Don't get a lot of friends to talk to these days, has been pretty grand having you about, yeah? Great having somebody to hobby with, nah?"

The way he talked irked me a little. He was gruff and blabbered on worse than either Kankuro or Naruto, but he filled in the silence with my lack of speech. Wait. Did he just call me a friend? "Friend?"

His eyes went wide. "Um, maybe. I mean, yeah, so if you want to be my friend. I don't want to assume or nothing. Would it be weird for the Kazekage to be friends with a lowly glassmaker?"

Weird. I smiled at the term. Naruto used that word a lot. "Not exactly, I do not think so. There are not many who would seek my company let alone refer to me as a friend." I looked down at the little figurine in my hands. Without Hari this wouldn't have been possible. He had been able to calm me with my failures, cheered me on with my successes. Perhaps then... "Friend? Yes, we can be friends. It is no more of an oddity than being friends with a hyperactive idiot from another village."

"The Hokage?"

I hummed in response. He hadn't been Hokage for a good number of years after me taking office myself. It felt like a lifetime ago. A lifetime since he smashed me in the head. A lifetime since he reached out into my state of death and helped bring me back. It was hard to believe that there had been more years between then and now than what my age had been at that time. Twenty years ago. Twenty long years of playing this odd game with him. Why couldn't Naruto simply have been a woman? It would have made my life so much easier. At least, it would have been a possible match then. I would have pursued him until he gave in to me. I would have been relentless.

But that was not my fate. This strange life I had been given never had that in the cards for me. Gambling term. Why did people gamble anyway? It seemed like such a waste.

Hari shifted in front of me uncomfortably. "Um, So, you will leave soon now? You mentioned you would leave after you were finished. That little thing should make him happy. You worked hard on it, yeah?"

I gave another hum, not really wanting to talk.

He seemed to understand and moved over to the counter. "Here, let me package it. You will still have to be careful but it should help protect it."

I walked over to the counter and handed him back my treasure. He worked his hands nimbly with the fragile glass, packaging my own heart into a small box. He handed the box to me with a small card. "It is nice to give a hand written card when you give a gift you made yourself. Adds to it, I think, yeah?"

I looked at the card. It was blank and very small. It couldn't possibly hold that many words, enough words to express what I wanted to convey to him. I would be gone when he opened it, I wanted to make sure that he could understand what I was giving him. I wanted to... What if he didn't recognize what I had made? What if the symbolism was too simple? What if it was my own mind playing tricks on me and this would actually be the worst gift imaginable?

"My experience tells me that gifts made from the heart convey more than the words written. It won't need much."

I stared at him blankly a moment. Had I been that easy to read?

"You had a worry line." He pointed between his brows, "I noticed you get them every time something doesn't go right. Otherwise I really have no idea what you are thinking." He gave a small laugh.

I pressed my finger to the spot between my brows. Or what would be my brows. He was right, there was a tiny crease there and I kept my finger there until I felt the skin there smooth. It would be unfortunate if anyone else had seen that. "I shall see you again in a few weeks time, Hari. Thank you, for this." I gave him a small nod and left without waiting for him to reply. It was draining, trying to make new friends. It was still something that I was not all that good at.

I quickly made it back to my tower to take care of my little treasure. I had only one more thing to do before we left. Kankuro would be mad at me. It was almost a week early to head out to Konoha, but I couldn't take it anymore. I had only been waiting until my sculpture had been presentable, and the demolition order was complete. One thing was complete, now the other had to be done.

I was dreading that one. It was terribly gratifying that I had chosen to do it of course. It needed to be done. I just dreaded having to take someone in there to approve the condemning of the building. Even I, the Kazekage of Suna, couldn't get the council to approve the order until I was able to get another person to sign off on that. I was sorely tempted to leave it. But it would destroy my plans. I needed a way to get into that cavern. Building something there, on a property that I had already owned and using the opportunity to hide a tunnel there was too tempting. Unfortunately, it meant having to take someone into the place. It meant I had to go back into that place, and that was something I had never intended to do again.

My old home. If it could even be called that.

Nobody other than me had entered that property after Yashamaru betrayed me. That left six years of complete crazy to be taken out on the place. I wasn't proud of it. It was probably disturbing to anyone other than myself. No.

Maybe even a little disturbing to myself at this point. Very disturbing, actually. I wasn't exactly the same blood obsessed kid I had once been anymore. It had been years since I had taken up Naruto's mantra of 'every life is precious'. No matter how much I had wanted to kill people, feel the grinding of their bones inside of my sand, feel the warmth of their...

That was a bad thought process. I was not that person anymore. It would disappoint him too much if I fell back into bad habits. My people would probably stop liking me and demand my resignation. Then what would I do with myself? Fall back into that darkness I had clawed myself out of, that is where I would end up.

I really didn't want to share that darkness with anyone. They were giving me no choice though. It was too dangerous for me to take anyone from the council. Or the Anbu. Or anyone. It left me one option. Kankuro. He was going to be physically ill. I mean... I never claimed full sanity. I hadn't been back since I had moved to the center of Suna with Temari. They always wanted to help me move, but I had insisted that I brought nothing. There was a reason I refused to let them in there. It wasn't because I really didn't want any of my things.

It was because of what was in there. I had decided to try and do the whole 'family' thing after my fight with Naruto, and the bond had been shaky at best at the time. I knew if they had seen what was in there...

I knew they would never have asked me to stay with them. I was a certifiable sociopath. It was rather obvious if one toured my living quarters from the time. I had no defense of it besides the fact I loved the feel of blood, the bones that had been ground into sand, the tiny bits that were...

No. This was going to be hard. I swallowed. It was time. Time to expose that part of my life to the one person I felt most comfortable confiding in. It had only taken me twenty three years to actually get the guts to do it, or rather it was more of a 'I need this property and don't see any other way around it without getting into trouble for crushing the place myself'. The second of course, was far more appealing to me, but I desired the unrestricted freedom I had been given to frequently visit Konoha if I needed. Or wanted. Because I needed to fix things with Naruto. It was too important. If only I could do it without molesting him.

"So, you gonna just stand there looking at the house all day, or are you going to be coming in or something? You are kinda freaking me out there, little bro."

I blinked. How long had I been standing there? "I finished my token of apology that I will be giving Naruto for his birthday." I held up the tiny box so that he could see.

He glowered at me. "Um, that's great Gaara. That still doesn't answer my question of why you are hovering outside my window. You can be really creepy sometimes, you know that?"

I frowned. Well, if that creeped him out, what we were about to do would likely make him scream. I sighed. "I was thinking. I need to condemn my old house and they will not allow it to be demolished without another seal of approval. I hope you do not mind being that person."

He stepped back, his eyes widened. "You mean that creepy freaking place at the edge of Suna they housed you in before we dragged you home with us after the old man croaked?"

I nodded slowly. "Yes, is there a problem with this?" Yes, of course there is, it is a freaking death trap. I didn't need to tell him that though.

He laughed nervously. "No, of course not! What kind of a guy would I be if I didn't help out my own brother, with something that damn creepy. Seriously Gaara, I have never asked why you would never let us in there, but I figured there was a reason, why the hell now?"

I kept my face blank. "I desire its destruction. Excuse me a moment, I shall be back shortly."

"Huh?"

I walked past him, gathered my sand beneath my feet and rose up to my room at the top of the tower.

"Gaara, damn it, what the hell! Get your sandy ass back here!"

I ignored him. He deserved to be ignored sometimes. I entered my room through my window after unlocking it with the sand I had left inside for that purpose, and carefully made my way to my bookshelf. There was a nice, deep open shelf there that my little treasure box would snugly sit in until we left in the morning. Yes, I would leave in the morning. It was far too important for me to wait any longer. I needed to know Naruto was alright. After my companions rested. It annoyed me, the sleeping patterns of the people around me. It always felt inconvenient to get anything done. If it were up to me, I would leave the moment Kankuro approved the demolition and was able to overcome the shock of seeing what I had lived in during my early years.

I took a deep breath. I probably shouldn't keep him waiting too long. All he would do is get increasingly irate with me, and I was still on thin ground as far as how mad he had been with me. It likely wouldn't take too much to get him to stop speaking with me again. Not that the idea bothered me, it didn't, but I would still prefer he be around.

It simply made my life more convenient. That was the only reason why I needed him to keep speaking with me. I didn't need him to be around. I didn't.

Really.

I stood in the window, and jumped. Freefall. It always felt oddly freeing. I opened my arms and allowed the wind flow around my body, the race my heart would give as the sensation of falling filled my senses. I am unsure why, but it had been a small thing I always did from high places when I could. When I was sure nobody would freak out about the Kazekage jumping off a high-rise. Once one had sent an entire village in a panic, one learned their lesson about pretending suicide.

Not like it would work anyway, I tried it once.

Like every other time, the sand came up to greet me, folding up around my body, slowing my descent to the ground. Who needed parachutes when I had such a lovely thing as self motivated sand? I landed softly on my feet, unscathed. I smiled my best smile to my brother. The tower was thirty six stories high. I loved that.

"That's still is creepy as hell Gaara, what if it didn't catch you someday?" Kankuro looked a bit concerned.

"It always does." I didn't see why he was so worried about it.

"You still shouldn't do it."

"I enjoy it." I studied his features to try and figure out what he might be thinking. I had no luck.

"Damn, whatever." He huffed and went to head inside. I blocked him with an instant wall of sand.

"We are heading there now."

"Seriously?" He groaned, "Don't you ever give anybody any kind of warning when you decide that things should be done? We aren't all here to serve and protect you, you know."

I stared at him. "But, that is your job, to serve and protect me." He was confusing me.

"I question that decision some days." He mumbled the statement, but I could still hear it.

"Do you?" My voice was softer than I had intended it to be, I frowned and I felt that little crease return between my brows. I closed my eyes and concentrated on removing it. Emotions were weakness, a weakness that could easily be turned against me.

He moved forwards and grabbed ahold of my shoulders. "Damn it Gaara, don't take everything I say so freaking serious ok? You are my little brother, always will be, and I really don't give a damn what you have done in the past. I will never leave you, I will always be here to protect you, as long as I can. I gave you my word of that when you had decided to go for the position, and I still stick by it."

I stared at him a moment and I swallowed. He looked so very serious while he said that. It had been years since he had taken that vow. He had proved his loyalty to me on many occasions, even thwarting a coup that would have ousted our family as the main Kazekage branch by a small group of the elder council and their supporters.

It never bothered me how much some of them hated me and thought me unfit to run Suna. I was used to their hatred. It bothered Kankuro and Temari much more than it ever would me. I tried to protect them from some of the hatred that was directed to me. Now, Kankuro would see more of the reason for that hatred. He had known I had a hair string temper before I reformed, but I wasn't sure if he really knew the full extent of it. It really wasn't something I had planned on sharing with him.

Ever.

He really didn't need to know.

I took a deep breath, breaking my silent stare and turned away from him, headed in the direction that I had ventured a couple of weeks before. I really didn't want to talk on the way. I didn't want to admit that I was actually nervous about him seeing my old place. See what I had left in it. The way I had lived.

It would make anyone with the slightest bit of decency empty their stomachs.

I created a platform of sand to take us to our destination and I was grateful that he allowed the silence on the way there. The trip did not take long and I stood in front of the place, my heart lodged solidly in my stomach. I licked my lips, which never was really that great of an idea and retracted my tongue swiftly with a light wince. Nothing like licking hardened sand to make one think twice about wetting their lips.

I very much disliked pain. I think I had been eight when I first discovered the only place my sand didn't protect me from self inflicted harm was my mouth. I had bit my cheek.

I had then killed seven people that night for daring to exist while I had experienced such morbid pain.

It was not a great memory for me.

I took a deep breath and headed to the door, trying to ignore the fact my brother was following me. It was only a house. Everything would be fine.

"Gaara, you don't have to..." Kankuro trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished.

I looked over my shoulder at him. I had to. For Naruto, I had to. "This place represents a darkness that haunts me. Every time I look in this direction I remember. Yashamaru, my past, what I used to be. The hatred I had felt for everyone in the village, how many times Father tried to have me killed." I turned back to the door, gathering the courage to go inside. It would be rank. "This place is a stain upon all of Suna. The history that this place represents holds ghosts that nobody here should ever have to remember." I reached my hand out, feeling for the sand just beyond the door. I had removed the handles, created locks that only I could use. I had made this place into as much as a fortress as I could. Nobody in, nobody out. Unless I desired them to. Which, it had never been the latter of the two options if I had chosen any. Pity to any who I had allowed the first.

I gathered enough, press it between the locks of my own creation, move aside the bars, the explosives and the solid bricks that blocked the entrance to what had once been my safe haven. My arm shook, just slightly as I lowered it down. It was open. This place that I had barricaded myself into for so long, keeping out everything, it was open. I forced myself forwards. Back then, there were no people to watch me enter. Back then, the entire block had been abandoned, afraid that anyone who lived close enough to me would likely die. It was likely true, and I had enjoyed the quiet that it had afforded me. I flicked my wrist and the door swung open. Dust came up and I used my sand to force it to settle. Sand, it covered almost everything inside this place. It was too dangerous not to have enough to easily maneuver in any possible area.

I had too many assassins that had come for my life. Too many Anbu. I needed to protect myself, kill for my existence if they dared come for me in my home. Just stepping through the door, I could feel that paranoia return. Kill or be killed. Love only myself. Survive. I needed to exist. Why did they always come for me? Why always-

There was a warmth on my shoulder and I realized that it was a hand. Kankuro's hand. I wasn't alone. He would protect me.

I still found it hard to believe that he would. It was always hard for me to believe, the extent that my people would go just to protect me, prove that I was cared for. It was hard to fathom, it was overwhelming. "Gaara."

I looked over to him and nodded. "Do what you must so that you can confirm the order of demolition." My throat was dry, but I was grateful for his company. This place, it brought back too many painful memories. There, in that far corner there used to be a couch. Yashamaru would read me stories there. Later, I would force my guests to sit there while I readied my guest room for their brief occupancy. At least, until one got a bit too feisty and impatient and I had accidentally destroyed it. That couch now laid in a million tiny pieces amongst the sand throughout the house. I stared at that spot for a moment as I tried to remember their faces.

Any of their faces. I couldn't. They were bodies. Blood, bone, skin and muscle. I had never seen them as nothing else. They were special to me, back then. The chosen few that I would bring home with me.

My stomach twisted at the memory.

I really didn't want him to know. The things that I had done. It was beyond anything he had ever witnessed before. Beyond what he would ever be comfortable with, not that he was all that comfortable with the things he had known I had done.

Monster. I had worked at proving that back then. If that was what they had wanted me to be, then so be it. They should have been grateful to me for fulfilling their wish. I folded my arms in front of my chest as I turned to Kankuro as he slowly moved through the sand. The kitchen was decrepit at best. It had rarely been used when I had lived here. At least, for what kitchens were actually intended to be used for. I was glad for the fact that I tended to destroy all of my victims, leaving only the stench of blood drenched sand behind. The smell looked to be doing a number on my brother. I was a bit used to it, the sand that I still covered myself with always smelled of old blood.

Just not as much as it used to.

I was better now.

"Damn Gaara, this place it freaking nasty. How could you have lived here?"

"I liked the smell of blood."

His face twisted a bit when I said that. "Do you have to sound so calm about that?"

I shrugged. "It would be pointless to deny the things I have done."

He turned from me and moved through the remaining rooms downstairs. The bathroom, the closet and the den. Nothing too significant there. He turned to the stairs.

I grabbed his arm. "Kankuro."

He looked back at me. "Yeah?"

"I... I am sorry. For what you will see. I never had intended you to come here."

"What the hell is up there that has you spooked?"

My guest room. My personal bath. There was a reason this place needed to be destroyed. Buried into the sand. Removed from Suna history.

He climbed the stairs.

I dropped my hands from my chest and gripped the railing tightly as I followed him. Maybe I could just end this. Was it really all that important to destroy this place? I could surely find another place to build a way into the cavern, maybe force a family out of one of the houses near this one...

That wouldn't be remotely suspicious at all.

We were upstairs. I worked at not hyperventilating. Control it, breath. Don't panic. This was my brother, surely he wouldn't judge me. Surely he wouldn't start the assassination program back up for the things that I had done in this place. People knew about my public displays of murder. They way that I had killed enemies, the way that I had ruthlessly destroyed a countless number of lives in self validation.

This. This was my own little secret. Because I had been bored. Because I needed to hear them scream. Because I needed them to beg me to end their pathetic lives. Slowly.

They were my guests, after all, how polite would it be to just kill them the moment I had invited them into my home? My entire body shook. Kankuro entered my room. The easy one. He would end this trip in the worst of places. I didn't want him to see. Why did I have to do this?

Why in the hell had I decided I needed to do this?

I watched in horror as he moved away from my room. The only normal place in this entire house. He moved to the guest bedroom. The one that had the attached bathroom.

I stayed glued to the floor. I knew what he would see.

I knew what he would think.

He would know exactly what sort of monster I had been.

I heard a banging noise and then I seen Kankuro emerge from the room. He fell to his knees, bent over and then emptied the contents of his stomach. He trembled, his face twisted in a horrified expression. He had seen. He knew. He knew.

"We should go." I wanted out of there. I needed to be out of there.

"What..." He looked up at me, his anger and disgust clearly visible. "What in the hell. What in the fucking god damned hell is in that room, Gaara?" His eyes condemned me. He would hate me.

I should have left it be.

I should have found another way.

What in the hell was I thinking?

"I..." I was losing breath. I needed something to focus on. Panic. Again, I was panicking, I hated that feeling. I pulled at my collar. Air. I needed air. Sand. Window.

The room was filled with the sound of shattering glass and I hurled myself towards the edge of the window and leaned out, gulping down the fresh air.

Focus.

This was Kankuro. It will be fine.

He will hate me. Like everyone else. No. Warmth around my waist, from behind. Arms enveloping me. Kankuro?

"Why?"

"Come with me."

I stiffened in his arms and struggled against him. "NO."

"I need to know what this is."

"Don't make me go in there, Kankuro, I don't want to remember, please, damn it, let me go!" I grabbed him with the sand around our feet, forcing him away from me. Safe. Safe from that room. From the memory of the things I had done.

This wasn't like the killings outside. Not the quick satisfying playthings I satisfied my bloodlust with. This was something else entirely. Something beyond the horror I had forced upon my family. Beyond the things I had remembered from the alley when I had first thought of this stupid idea.

This, this was outright madness.

"Gaara."

"I won't. It needs to go away. Be destroyed, please let me bury that. Let me forget. I need to forget."

The impossible happened. His eyes softened and he sighed. "Gaara. Before it is destroyed, every room must have a dual inspection. You know this. I can't sign off on it until you freaking go in there."

"You could lie about it." I knew he couldn't. Knowing those bastards in the council they would subject him to questioning just to make sure he had done it. I forced my feet forwards.

The guest room.

I had grown to hate that room after I had moved in with my siblings. When I learned how to care.

Those people deserved more. Those people were the ones I regretted. People. They were people. I had not looked at them as such when I had them there. I inched my way in. The sights, the smells. There was no escaping what once was my twisted reality. I had left bones scattered through the room. Tools of various design were hung on the wall next to the bed, where there were barbed chains mixed into the sand that covered it. The brown stains that were saturated everywhere, revealing how many times that I had bled people out inside this room. Tortured them. Removed their limbs, played with their insides until they begged me for their own death. Filled the tub with their blood and bathed in it as they watched me, a silent scream etched onto their face as their life drained away into my sand that was the shell of my body, and that was only when I had showed them enough mercy to allow them to die.

This room.

I hated this room.

I had deserved every moment that had led to my death. It had really been a fitting end to me.

I was pulled away from it and I whimpered as I was. I felt air, fresh air. I was outside. But all I could do was remember. The screams. The slow torture that I could only achieve by using a combination of tools and sand. Those screams that I had craved so much back then. It had amused me. It was like it had been nothing.

I had treated them like vermin.

Monster.

I was a damned monster.

My body was shaking. No... I was being shaken by someone. A person. I breathed in the air that did not hold stagnant old blood and worked at forcing those memories from my mind. I vaguely processed that my name was being called.

Breathe.

"Gaara!" Kankuro.

I opened my eyes, only just then realizing that I had them shut as tightly as I could manage. I gasped for breath as my senses returned. "I... Kankuro I..."

"That isn't you anymore. Gaara, that was a lifetime ago."

But I had done it. I was capable of it. I remembered it. "I brought them home... I kept them there for weeks sometimes, until they were no longer useable. I don't... I don't even know who they were. I don't remember why they made me so angry, I..." Rambling. I was rambling.

Another shake, then a deep embrace. Kankuro... He... He did not hate me? I tentatively brought my arms around him. A hug. I gripped onto him tightly. This hug was different from the one Naruto had given me. It was needy, supportive and caring. "Hey, I'm here, ok? I told you, I'm not going anywhere," there was a small rumble in his chest that I could feel, "no matter how many bodies you have hidden in your closet."

I shoved him away from me. "I despise you." His statement crashed me back into the present and I recalled how brash my brother tended to be.

He laughed heavily, "Bad timing for that one, sorry. I couldn't help myself. Yours are a bit more literal with that phrase than the average person."

"If I didn't need your consent on the demolition order I would kill you for that." I straightened my back as much as I could while I worked at regaining my composure. I took a deep breath through my nose, my eyes closed as I drew it in. This place. It would be gone soon.

I wondered if I could actually wash away the things that had happened within it just by destroying it.

Maybe not.

It wouldn't stop me from trying. Forbid if Shinki ever found out about this place. I shuddered. It was best for it to be destroyed. All respect for me would be gone. I looked back to Kankuro, who was looking at the house with a look of hatred. He turned to me after he noticed that I was watching him and he smiled. "Let's go get that order signed, huh?"

I bent my head down into a small nod and turned from the place, gathering sand once more under our feet and I raised us up above the house. Before I left, I quickly built a wall over the hole in the window. It would not be good if anyone suddenly gained an interest in the place and went exploring. "Do you think they would allow me to destroy it myself when I return? I could grind it down, bury what is within those walls. Carry it outside the city before I do so it wouldn't be witnessed."

"Yeah, I think that would be for the best. They know you have a sketchy past, I am sure they won't question that request."

I kept my eyes forward. "I hope you are correct." I paused, allowing the cooling air around us settle my nerves. I looked up to the sky as the sun lowered into the edges of the cliffs around Suna. I always found that sight rather beautiful. When the sun disappeared beyond the cliffs, there was about five minutes the sky would hold an array of brilliant colors before fading away into darkness. I decided that I would watch that today. "Thank you."

"You shouldn't. It wasn't me that dragged you out of that. Temari likes to think that she did, but I know better than that." His voice was low, monotonous. Sad?

I brought us to a halt over the city. I turned to him. "You are sad?" I tilted my head at him as I pondered why he would have that emotion. I had expected anger, disgust and hatred. Instead there was just the initial disgust, then... Sadness? I didn't understand.

He followed my own line of sight from earlier towards the setting sun. "You can call it that, yeah." He sunk down in the sand and sat down.

When he did not elaborate, I pushed him for an answer. "Why?" I crossed my arms and sat down next to him, pushing us forwards towards my tower once more.

"Because I don't get it. You. I don't fully get it. I mean, I can see why you snapped, who wouldn't after what Father did to you, but... I won't ever be able to really connect that way. If we hadn't gone there, if we weren't hired out as weapons to destroy Konoha..."

"I would have been dead." I felt a little surprised that he shared that worry of mine. "I have thought of what my life may have been if I had not met him."

"I hate that I know that we would never have been enough for it. I owe him for that too, saving you. All of Suna owes him. I just didn't realize before how far down the rabbit hole you had fallen." He looked over to me. "That place, it is just a shadow of a madness that was forced on you. We are all guilty for what had happened in there. That burden shouldn't just be yours to carry."

I stared at him as we neared the tower. I brought us up to my room there, not ready to leave him. Odd, how I could feel so lonely around so many people that always fawned over me. "Could you sleep in my room tonight?"

"What, so you can stare at me all night while I sleep?"

I glared at him. He was probably not that far off, but I still disliked being called out on it.

He raised his hands as I opened the window and deposited us into the room. "What? It is usually what you do. Didn't say I wouldn't, calm the hell down."

I gathered my sand back into a large gourd and sat it in the corner of my room. I didn't carry it around with me anymore, the larger gourd, but I still kept it for things like travel. It was almost like an old security blanket that I couldn't bear to fully part with. "We will be leaving in the morning."

"I figured, after the demolition order is signed, right?"

I nodded and found myself staring at the tiny box that held my small treasure for Naruto. That moment he had saved me...

"What did you make anyway?"

I moved my eyes to him. "A memory."

"A memory huh?" He flopped down into the bed I only kept for when he or Shinki would sleep in my room, his hands behind his head.

I gave a small hum. He shared the moment that had mattered most to him in a carving. Now I would share the one that mattered most to me.

It was why I couldn't be there when he opened it.

Just in case.

In case he did not share that sentiment.

In case I lost control of my emotions.

So, I would leave him with my memory, my heart, my thoughts.

And hope that alone would help fix things between us, after all, our friendship was far too important to be taken lightly.

"Night, Gaara. Wake me up early, kay?"

I hummed, switched off the light and sat in my chair, settling into my odd routine of watching my brother sleep.