A/N: Since someone's commented on my titles: they're all quotes from Rush songs. I'll have a list at the end, I don't want to break the story up by talking about each one as I go. - HLine

Just after lunchtime, in the NYADA quad, Paul Tervo looked over at the table where Rachel Berry was working, that beautiful girl he'd known for just over a month. He had to admit that it was stretching things to say that he knew her, certainly he wanted to but she always kept him at arm's length or even further. But Rachel Berry was intriguing, and he knew her about as well as he could without actually stalking her. He'd seen her around town a bit, occasionally by the Lake in Central Park, but he knew better than to start following her. He was interested in her but not obsessed.

Still, ever since he'd seen her look in his direction at the NYADA opening mixer, he'd wanted to know her better, much better. It wasn't just that she was incredibly talented, even by NYADA standards, with a beautiful voice and amazing energy, or had impressive dedication. Or her arresting unconventional beauty, matched with a trim body. Her artistic endeavors showed a passion that she seemed to reserve for them alone, hinting dramatically at vast depths beneath the surface. Sure, she went to the usual NYADA social occasions and interacted with the other students, a charming smile usually on her face, but that was as far as she went; he wasn't the only man whose overtures had been rebuffed, always emphasizing her focus on her work and her complete lack of intention to date. She had no interest in women either.

Rachel held herself so tightly as a person, in such contrast to the passion of her singing, that Paul was often put in mind of a line in E.M. Forster's A Room with a View:
'If Miss Honeychurch ever takes to live as she plays, it will be very exciting both for us and for her.'

He smiled again at the thought, looking at her working so seriously. If Miss Rachel Berry ever takes to live as she sings, it will be very exciting both for us and for her. And he hoped that by us it would be himself. She had such passion, it needed to be let out for living and loving, not just walled up for her art. She'd had a broken romance in the past, of that he was sure, he'd seen some underlying pain in her eyes when they'd first met. She masked it well but it had never fully gone away. But the death of first love was the worst illusion, she'd obviously decided she could never love again and wasn't going to try. Paul wanted to change her mind, and he fancied he could, given a chance; she'd certainly reacted to him back at the mixer, and she was too enticing a prize for him to stop trying without giving it his full effort.

But he hadn't had much chance with her, she was so rarely available to talk to. If she wasn't being distant or completely preoccupied with her focus on practicing her singing and dancing, her roommate and classmate Kurt was almost always with her. The younger man was clearly gay, no competition there, and word had gotten around that he had a boyfriend back home who they hoped would get in next year. Which unfortunately left him free to monopolize Rachel's limited free time, whenever Paul saw her on or near campus it was a safe guess that Kurt was close by. He didn't see him now, though, so this was a chance to take.

He walked up to the table where she was working. "Hello Rachel," he said warmly, smiling down at her.

She glanced up at him briefly. "Hello, Paul." She looked back at her work – she was making notes on the score for a song. "Did you want something?" she asked, her voice disinterested.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go for coffee."

"I have coffee," Rachel replied, gesturing at the tall thermos cup next to her. Her eyes stayed on her score.

"Going for coffee isn't just about getting the coffee."

"Well anything else isn't available." She looked up at him at that point, frowning.

"I know, you've said. You don't date."

"That's right. I'm concentrating on my studies and my career." Her voice was flat, like she had said this a hundred times.

"Bull."

"Excuse me?" That broke her flatness, at least.

"You've been hurt, you're scared. But you don't need to be frightened of me." He sat down next to her and put his hand on hers, but she moved away immediately.

"Don't touch me."

"Don't wall yourself off from life. You're an artist, you need to live," Paul cajoled. He did really mean that; sure, he was intrigued by her and attracted to her, but he also thought he'd be good for her. Even if things didn't last long she'd at least start moving on from the failed romance that had her believing that her heart was never going to feel anything other than pain.

She frowned at him, upset. "Why are you bothering me?"

"Rachel..." Paul put two fingers under her chin, but she pulled away, her face pained. "I see that sadness in your eyes, clouding that sweet face, and..." he gave her his best dazzling-yet-sympathetic smile. "I think I can make that sadness go away, if you'll give me the chance." She looked emotional but didn't move away, so he pressed on. "Just come out with me. Live a little again."

Rachel turned her head down to the table, her eyes closed, and simply breathed for a few moments. Paul waited, not wanting to push too far. His line was pretty corny, but it did seem to have had an impact on her. Then her head came up again, and she looked at him, a hard spark in her eyes, her expression tight.

"I thought you were studying to be an actor, Paul." Her voice was sharp.

"Uh, yes," Paul responded, still trying to project confidence despite the unexpected response. He hadn't necessarily expected her to be completely receptive, but he didn't see what being an actor had to do with it.

"Well I need a neurologist." She breathed hard, her emotions rising up. "I need a groundbreaking neurologist who can bring a man's memory back, because that's what it's going to take to make my sadness go away. You don't happen to know any, do you? Or even about anyone like that, I'm sure I can make the introductions myself if I have to. A name, anything, I'll track them down." She spoke rapidly and passionately, her remote facade cracking.

This wasn't what Paul had been expecting at all; there was obviously a lot more going on with Rachel Berry than the failed romance that he'd figured. "Um, excuse me," he said, his confidence vanishing, "but what...?"

Rachel stood and rose to her full height, which wasn't much, but the energy she was projecting made her seem like a giant. She fished out the chain from around her neck and held it towards him, showing what she carried on it – a small diamond ring. "See this?" she burst out. "The love of my life gave me this."

Okay, an engagement ring and a lost love, that was more like what he'd been expecting. So what was all this about a neurologist?

"He gave me this, and we were going to be together forever, and then some self-involved asshole was in too much of a hurry on the highway and ran us off the road, and now he doesn't remember me or any of our life together." Tears flowed from her eyes as her voice rose until she was essentially screaming. They were in the quad, and people were staring, and she either didn't notice or didn't care. "So unless you can show me where I can find someone who can bring him back to me, some genius neurologist or an eccentric with a time machine, don't give me this crap about making my sadness go away!"

Paul looked up at her, seeing the tears on her face. "I – Rachel, I'm sorry," he stumbled, scrambling for some way to rescue his approach. He'd wanted to unleash her passion, but not like this. Still, now that she was letting her vulnerability show, she might be more approachable. He rose to stand in front of her, smiling down at her with a mix of charm and compassion. "That's awful, but you can't let that make you give up on the rest of the world. You have to go on with your life, don't you?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were intending a career as an understudy," she retorted, rapidly pulling her things together and stowing them in her shoulder bag. "I wish you luck in your plan to be second best for the rest of your life, wondering if tonight the real star will show up to take his rightful place."

"Oh, I'm not understudy material," he insisted, still smiling at her, trying to lay on the charm a little more heavily so she wouldn't leave. "I'm Paul Tervo, leading man." He stepped closer to her, looming over her but looking down with a warm smile, glad to see that she didn't step back. He'd be able to kiss her if he bent down. But he shouldn't, not yet, she was too agitated. He needed to relax her more, get past her anger to the passion that lay behind it. She'd be even more amazing to be with than he'd thought before, if he could manage to get her to let him in.

She didn't step back at first; instead, she started to shout in his face. So much for getting her to relax and let him in. "Well I'm Rachel Berry. I know what I want, and I don't settle for second best, either being it or having it." She took two steps back and took a deep breath, her voice more quiet but still intense as she continued to tell him off. "If what you want is a girl who's really in love with another man, where you'll always have to wonder if someday he's going to show up to take her away from you, then I can't help you. You may want to try a psychiatrist who specializes in dealing with emotional masochists." She frowned. "Alternatively, if you're just interested in finding someone vulnerable that you couldn't really be expected to commit to, then do us all a favor and jump into the East River." She turned away.

He gave a slightly self-mocking grimace. "The Hudson's closer."

Rachel winced, turning slightly back to him. "The Hudson's too good for you."

Well she'd at least put a lot of energy and cleverness into telling him to go away. That was something, right? "You actually think one river is better than the other?" Paul laughed. "Please don't walk away mad. Okay, I pushed too far, I was just giving it a shot. You can't blame a man for trying."

"For not taking 'no, go away' for an answer? Yes we can." Two young women came up to him from the right, stepping between him and Rachel. One, the speaker, was medium build with pale skin and short curly red hair; the other was taller, with caramel-coffee skin and shoulder-length straight dark hair. More musical theatre majors, older ones, the pair known sometimes as 'M and M', though usually not to their faces. They were lively, but did not suffer fools.

Rachel turned back to them in surprise as the dark girl spoke. "Check the regulations, Tervo, and stop harassing girls before you get too far over the line."

"And you're wasting your time with musical theater majors, since you can't carry a tune in a bucket," the red-haired one chimed in.

It occurred to Paul that they might have a point – singers often went on and on about 'deep connections' from singing together. Maybe that was why he'd never had much luck with the musical theater girls, despite the lack of competition from the mostly gay musical theater boys. He looked between the two arrivals to see Rachel, who looked relieved. He tried to look hopefully at her, but she met his eyes briefly and shook her head with a frown.

"I'm concentrating on my studies, Paul," Rachel stated. "You need to do the same, if you think you're going to be anyone's leading man, ever. Mine is already cast."

"And you have somewhere else to be," the red-haired girl told him.

Paul sighed. This wasn't going anywhere. "I really am sorry," he said to Rachel, putting his best contrite puppy look on his face. Maybe he could salvage some of his image at least, this wasn't going to look good for him. "I hope it all works out, Rachel. Take care." With that he beat a rapid retreat.

"So," the red-haired girl said as the two older girls turned around to face Rachel. "That was really impressive. Rachel, right?"

Rachel smiled ruefully, but was very glad to see the last of Paul Tervo. "Yes," she said, clearing her throat. "Rachel Berry."

"Amanda Connolly," the red-haired girl replied, "and this is Megan DiTonno."

"Hi," Megan waved. "We're juniors. Musical theatre, like you – we saw your solo first day, it was quite something."

"Very emotional but still controlled," Amanda put in. "I don't know how you can still sing like that with all that coming out of you, it's a good thing we're two years ahead of you because we're going to need that head start." She grinned. "Or at least Meg will. I'm an alto."

Rachel blushed and smiled at them, her pulse starting to slow down after her rant. "Thank you. It's very good to meet you, Amanda, Megan."

"Well we had to meet you after we heard your rant just now," Amanda said. That's certainly an innovative way of dealing with persistent guys like that."

"How did you come up with that line, anyway?" Megan asked.

"Ah... what line?"

Megan waved her hands. "The whole 'the love of my life can't remember me and you could only ever be second best' angle. The ring is a particularly nice touch."

Rachel stared at them. They thought she was making it up? Though it did seem rather unbelievable, she supposed. She bit her lip. "I didn't make that up."

The others in the quad had largely gone back to whatever they were doing, but a figure suddenly rushed through them.

"Rachel." Kurt flew at her and hugged her tightly. "Oh God, I heard, I'm so sorry I wasn't here."

"That's okay," Rachel said, hugging him back. They broke apart and she wiped her eyes again.

"Are you sure?" Kurt looked at her with concern.

"Yes. It's actually good to let it out sometimes."

"If you say so."

"Um..." Amanda quietly reminded Rachel that she and Kurt weren't alone. "Hi," she said, giving Kurt a small wave.

"Oh, yes." Rachel turned back to the two new girls she'd met. "Kurt, this is Amanda, and Megan. They're juniors in our program. Kurt here is freshman musical theatre like me, we're roommates and have been close friends for years."

"Hello," Kurt said.

"So this whole 'my fiance has forgotten me' thing – it's real?" Amanda looked at Kurt in shock. "You know about that?"

Kurt glanced at Rachel, who nodded to him. "Oh, it's real," he said. "He's my brother, actually. Stepbrother. He was supposed to move to New York with us until it happened."

"Oh," Amanda breathed, looking over at Rachel, sympathy etched on her face. Rachel was still holding her ring; she'd started to tuck the chain back into her dress but she couldn't help but stop and look at the ring, tears in her eyes. Amanda exchanged a glance with Megan, both of them astonished to find out that Rachel's rant had been true, that she'd actually been dealing with such a horrible and bizarre situation.

"Is it okay if I show them?" Kurt asked her softly. Rachel nodded silently. He pulled his iPad out of his bag and quickly brought up an article that was saved on it. The two girls read it together, the article from the July 7th Lima News describing the accident that had put newly graduated McKinley High football quarterback and show choir lead Finn Hudson into a coma.

"Coma?" Megan asked.

"Four days," Kurt answered. "But when he woke up he'd lost almost three years. He didn't know either of us."

They read on, finding more information about this young man. He was the stepson of first-term U.S. Congressman Burt Hummel. And, walking away from the crash: his fiancée Rachel Berry, star of the National High School Show Choir Champions, the New Directions from McKinley High.

Megan looked up. "So all that rant of yours, that was real," she stated. Rachel nodded. "Well I must admit I was a bit more impressed when I thought you'd made it up and were acting," she went on, "but – whoa. That's truly awful. And no wonder you didn't want to put up with Tervo's persistent come-ons."

"I just couldn't stand it any more," Rachel admitted. "He acts like he's God's gift and takes 'not interested' as a challenge. The way he touched my chin was the last straw, it felt dirty to have a hand on my face that wasn't Finn's." She sighed. "But it was very cathartic to come out with it like that, I've never just let it loose before."

"You realize everyone will know now," Kurt said.

"Having them not know wasn't working particularly well." Rachel sighed again. "I'll just go on with my work as usual."

"So all you can do is hope that his memory comes back?" Amanda asked.

"Not all," Rachel said, a look of determination crossing her face. She gave her ring a last look and finally put it away.

"Rachel is not known for just waiting," Kurt commented. "Or giving up."

"We were starting to reconnect, before I had to come here," Rachel said softly, intensely, giving voice to the hope she had. "Even if he doesn't remember, there's still something there."

"That does sort of sound like waiting, though, especially since he's not in New York," Megan said. "Tervo's asshattery aside, don't you think you should move on at some point? It's certainly a very dramatic situation, but don't you need someone in your life? They're not all jerks."

"It's only been since July," Rachel insisted. "He's trying, I know he is. And I'm always very busy. And..." her voice trailed off. "I don't need a boyfriend, I don't need to fill a slot in my life with just someone," she stated. "I need Finn. And he's still Finn. We'll work this out, we have to. I won't give up on him, not after just three months and not ever."

Amanda smiled. "She's an 'accept no substitutes' girl, Meg," she said to her friend. "You have to respect that. Nunc et semper."

"Church Latin doesn't make you more profound, 'Mand, but I take your point," Megan replied, rolling her eyes at her friend before turning back to the others. "I'm somewhat more... flexible about these things," she said to Rachel and Kurt, "but each to their own. And us ex-show-choir divas have to stick together, if only to shock everyone else because they're so sure we could never get along." She flashed a big smile. "I used to sing lead for Harmonic Resonance, from Tacoma. We placed second at Nationals in 2010 when I was a senior."

"To Vocal Adrenaline," Kurt commented.

Megan winced. "Yes. All style, no substance, we thought, especially their lead, but we just couldn't beat them. I don't know what it is about you kids from the Midwest, but you certainly know how to sing."

"We were in their region that year," Kurt said. "And we certainly agree about their lack of passion."

"Passion." Megan laughed. "Apparently the next year there was a team at Nationals that had passion to burn." She nudged Amanda's arm. "I told you about that, didn't I?" She turned back to Kurt and Rachel, recounting excitedly. "I didn't see it, of course, since I was a freshman here, though Nationals was in New York and I could have gone if we hadn't been so busy. But I did meet up with some of my old choir-mates later, and they told me about this one couple that got so into their duet that they started making out on stage." Kurt and Rachel looked uncomfortable. "Not really making out, I suppose," she explained, a bit thrown by their reaction. "But they kissed, pretty seriously. Rumor had it that they were a couple reuniting. Heavy stuff. The judges didn't like it, of course, but hey, young love."

Kurt sighed. "We know."

"Of course, you were probably there," Amanda put in. "Did you make finals that year?"

"We were right there," Rachel said, her smile tight. "I was most definitely right there."

Megan stared, realizing what Rachel's emphasis meant. "You're kidding."

"No."

"That – that was you?"

"And Finn. Yes."

"Oh." Megan and Amanda sighed together.

"You two are epic," Megan said. "That kiss, then you won last year, now this..." she handed Kurt his iPad back. "I don't know what the NYADA gossips will make up about you, and they will, but it can't be as big as what you've lived."

Rachel flushed. "I just hope the gossip doesn't encourage more jerks."

Megan and Amanda exchanged a glance. "Oh I think we can ensure that the jerks do something else," Megan said. "We may not have quite the righteous rant that you do, but we can keep them off when we want to."

"And we usually want to," Amanda chimed in.

"You would do that for me?" Rachel's mask slipped, and the lonely yearning girl inside looked out for a moment.

"Girl, you have been through hell, and somehow you're still going and singing up a storm to boot. The last thing you need to deal with is slick wannabes on the make." Megan put her arm around Rachel. "You're with us."

"If the pair of you can put up with us," Amanda teased, including Kurt as well.

Kurt looked at Rachel, who was starting to relax and smile at these overtures of friendship. "I think we can manage that," he said. "We could use things being a little less epic at this point."

A/N: much thanks to OmniHelix for our discussions that inspired Kurt's last line.
I encourage you to read his fic, it's wonderful.