[A.N] Hello hello! new chapter is up! Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews 3 you guys really make my day and keep me writing!
Warning: NSFW Explicit Content below. If the story ever gets taken down because of it you can find it under the same name on archiveofourown dot com or on tumblr. Cheers 3
Cora woke up completely disoriented. The world was spinning rapidly and a couple of moments had to pass before it stabilized enough for her to realize that she wasn't in fact moving, and it was just one of the side effects of irresponsible drinking. But that wasn't the main problem.
The first problem was the darkness. It was pitch black and she hadn't slept in complete darkness since she'd moved to Yavin. Her eyes were wide open, staring into the nothingness, feeling lost. She knew that even in case of a power outage, the batteries in Ben's tank would still last for at least a few days. Second, this was definitely not her bed. Not only was the mattress different, but the sheets felt odd against her skin. She splayed her fingers, trying to take in as much of her environment as possible without giving away that she was awake. She had no idea where she could have ended up. Even the vents that constantly pumped air sounded different.
She just laid there unmoving for a couple of minutes, eyes wide trying to adjust to the darkness, but in the end she gathered all her courage to start feeling around. Her throat felt dry and irritated and she really needed to pee, so she had to find out where she was and if it was safe to go look for a bathroom.
She extended her arm and started exploring. Her heart almost jumped out of her chest when she realized that someone was laying next to her in bed, fast asleep. It should have crossed her mind that if she wasn't in her own bed, it probably belonged to someone else. And it would have been pretty plausible for that someone to still be occupying it. But the feeling of his warm skin against the palm of her hand was so familiar that she instinctively relaxed, even before fully registering that the man next to her was in fact the one and only, Captain Andor.
Cora let out a sigh of relief that quickly turned into a silent laughter. She was a fool. She should have realized the instant she woke up that this was Cassian's bed because it smelled like him, intoxicatingly so, even with the tang of alcohol covering almost everything else. Panic had taken over for a moment and she froze, as usual.
But why did it stink like alcohol and why was she in Cassian's bed?
Once she was fully awake the memories flooded back. She'd taken a couple of days off knowing that, as always, she wouldn't be able to focus on anything on her mother's death anniversary. Especially since the nights leading to it had been terrible. She hadn't planned on drinking but she'd woken up shaking in the middle of the night and had trouble going back to sleep. She felt like shit in the morning, and then it even got worse as the day proceeded. So she decided it was time to properly mourn, get this out of her system and hopefully be able to sleep better after. Or at least, feel like shit because of the hangover. She grabbed her bottle of Corellian brandy and hid from everyone on the platform outside, fully determined to finish it by herself. She wondered if she'd managed.
Her memory was a little foggy, but to her surprise she only seemed to have completely blacked out at the end, cause she had no recollection as to how she got in this unfamiliar room. Or she'd fallen asleep, she wasn't sure. But she remembered Cassian coming to look for her, she remembered telling him the story and the sadness on his face as he listened. She was really happy that he'd come, it helped ease her mind knowing that he was back home, safe.
She inched closer and hugged him, kissing him softly on the cheek. He shifted a little under her touch and Cora froze, hoping that he wouldn't wake up.
"Morning," he mumbled, and Cora sighed. "You're up already?"
"I woke up to pee," she replied in all honesty and Cassian chuckled, a sound that filled her with warmth.
"Did you find the bathroom?"
"I didn't want to wake you up," she said, stretching. "And it's so cozy in here anyway." Cassian laughed and turned on a light on the nightstand above their heads. Cora blinked a few times, adjusting to the light.
His room was a lot smaller than hers, Cora noticed looking around. There was a bed, a desk and a chair, a wardrobe and a door that she supposed lead to a refresher. In fact, it was pretty standard for a single room, but Cora had gotten so used to her roomy living space that she sometimes had to remind herself that it had been built with more people in mind than just her.
"I'll be back," she said, pecking Cassian's lips before getting out of bed and heading for the refresher.
Cassian's room was exactly how she imagined it: neat, simple, with little things that made it personal. There was a pair of old, used boots in a corner of the room, his blue parka was hanging on one side of the door, and there was a blaster rifle leaning on the wall, next to his desk. His desk was also pretty neat, much cleaner than hers. The only things in sight were a datapad, a couple of military strategy books stacked in a corner, and a blaster pistol. Nothing was out of order besides the pile of clothes thrown on the floor.
Cora looked down at what she was wearing: one of Cassian's shirts, she assumed, and her underwear. She had no idea how or when she'd changed.
"Did we… you know?" she asked, hearing Cassian outside the bathroom. She didn't mind if they did, but she was annoyed at the lack of memory.
"No, you fell asleep on me," he answered. "I had to fight you to get you changed."
"Figures," she mumbled. "Why does everything stink like brandy? And why am I so sticky?"
"Because you insisted on baptizing us both with what was left in the bottle," he laughed, poking his head though the open door. Cora groaned, hiding her face in her palms. "Melshi would be proud, you know."
"No, please! Don't mention that devil," she feigned indignation. "You should have kicked me into the shower last night, you shouldn't have let me soil your sheets."
"Doesn't matter, they needed changing anyway. How are you feeling?"
"Surprisingly not as bad as I'd expected," she said, washing her hands. "I mean I'm somewhat dizzy and my head hurts a bit, but other than that I'm fine. Jet juice was far worse than this and I never drank this much." She was dehydrated like a raisin. Her mouth was really dry and her stomach a bit disgruntled, but she'd expected to be puking her guts out and wishing an early death after pulling a stunt like that. Surprisingly, none of that had happened yet.
"Yeah, jet juice is terrible. At least the Corellian stuff is high quality. Here, drink this," he said, handing her a bottle of water.
"Thanks, I was just gonna ask you for something to drink," she said, taking the bottle to her lips and drinking greedily. "You're a lifesaver."
Cassian smiled. He was only dressed in his underwear, his hair sticking awkwardly in all directions, looking sticky and matted. He must have been right when he said she baptised them both, her hair felt and smelled terrible too. She noticed a red and purple bruise on his fingers when she handed him an empty bottle.
"What happened to your hand?" she asked, catching his wrist between her fingers before he had the time to hide it.
""Just a bruise," he said, looking embarrassed. "Hammered it yesterday. It's no big deal."
Cora let go of his hand, but only after making sure that he was indeed telling the truth. He'd be ok with just a bacta patch and a kiss, for now.
"What's the time?" she asked, once Cassian returned to the bedroom.
"Very early. It's still dark outside."
"Oh." Her perception of time was completely screwed. She had no idea when she started drinking or when she eventually stopped, but she had vague memories of a sunset. Or she might have dreamt that, she had no idea. "You should go back to sleep, then. Is it okay if I take a shower in the meantime?"
"Yeah, take your time," he said, picking up some clothes off the floor. "I'll just tidy up a bit."
Cora watched him from the bathroom door. She could see a couple more bruises on his skin, but nothing life threatening so she decided this wasn't the right time to pester him about them. Instead, she allowed herself to be happy that he was back home, in far better condition than other times. She wanted to make the most out of the time spent together, because she never knew when he'd be sent back.
"Or... you could join me if you don't plan on sleeping," she offered with a cheeky grin on her lips. Cassian stopped halfway through picking up the clothes on the floor. "Since I doused you in brandy, I might as well help clean you up."
Cassian smirked and dropped the clothes in the same spot. It seemed they weren't a priority anymore as he walked towards Cora. His pace was slow, but determined, and suddenly he didn't remind her of the cute, fuzzy rodent she used to play with when she was a kid. No, he looked like something much more dangerous, something darker, and the thrill was making her belly squirm. Cora didn't know if she was still drunk or not, but her face flushed in a matter of seconds, and she could feel herself becoming quite lightheaded. Anticipation was making her heart beat faster as she stepped backwards into the cramped refresher, Cassian following suit.
He didn't wait around, but grabbed the hem of her shirt and in one fluid motion pulled it over her head. Cora shivered when the air hit her skin, but it wasn't just the cold that was giving her goosebumps. Cassian was admiring her with a hungry look in his eyes, like he'd been starving for her and wasn't able to restrain himself anymore.
"That didn't take much convincing," she laughed, splaying her hands on his chest.
"I didn't think I'd have to play hard to get," he said, taking a quick step forward, closing the gap between them and pinning her to the wall.
"You weren't that easy to get either… historically speaking." Cora smiled cheekily and sucked in a breath as her breasts pressed against him, her nipples perking up at the contact.
Cassian kissed her jaw right under her ear. "You think so? I thought I was pretty easy."
Cora nodded and snaked her hands around his neck, pulling him into a long, languid kiss. "You were a nightmare."
Oh, how she'd missed his touch, his kisses on her jaw, his scent. She'd gotten so used with him being grounded and sharing a bed almost every night that the moment he had to leave once again, the absence was almost physically painful. So she promised herself to make the most of their time spent together, to enjoy every brief touch, every fleeting kiss. Her fingers tangled in his hair as he kissed down her neck, pulling gently to guide him where she wanted his lips. He was obediently following her guidance, kissing, licking and nibbling at the soft skin, before going back up to claim her lips.
Cassian's hips pressed into hers and she could feel his growing arousal through the thin material of their undergarments. Her hand dropped between them, slowly massaging his cock, feeling it twitch at her touch.
Cassian was patient, almost annoyingly so. He didn't rush to undress her, instead focused on what was already in front of him. He brushed his lips over her right nipple, slowly kneading her soft flesh, while leaning into her hand for a little more pressure.
Cora hissed once his mouth closed over her nipple, sucking gently. "Should we actually shower?" she asked, a little out of breath. "Before we become too busy to care about that?"
"Mhm," he mumbled, a bit reluctant to move his lips from her breast, but hitting a switch on the wall anyway.
It was a bit of a shock when the water hit her skin, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant. She was still pretty dehydrated so she wondered if she could absorb some moisture through her skin like some sort of amphibian. They fiddled a little with the temperature, Cora yelping and giggling whenever it was too hot or too cold, but in the end they found a setting that they both enjoyed. She took off her wet underwear, something both of them forgot to do before turning the water on.
"You know, this reminds me of Samarkand," she said, slipping her thumbs under the waistband of his boxers and pulling them off. Her heart skipped a beat; the excitement of seeing him fully naked before her hadn't diminished no matter how often they slept together. "But I think there was even less space on your ship," she added, trying to hide her blush.
Cassian chuckled. "Yeah, that one's smaller," he said, looking around. He squirted some shampoo from the wall dispenser and started shampooing his hair.
"I really didn't mind the lack of space," she smiled, spreading some shower gel on his body instead of her own. She had a feeling they wouldn't be doing much washing, because her fingers kept tracing the outline of his muscles down to his cock instead of focusing on the task at hand. Cassian seemed a little less distracted, taking some more shampoo and starting to wash her hair too.
"Is that so?"
"Mhm," she purred, closing her eyes and leaning into his touch like a cat looking for affection. His fingers felt so good on her scalp, gently massaging circles into her skin as she left her soapy hands wander up and down his torso. He brushed his lips over hers before going in for a proper kiss. She could taste the faint aroma of shampoo that washed over his face from time to time, but it didn't matter.
The only thing that mattered was him and the closeness between them, and how good it felt when he let his hands brush down her neck, spreading the perfumed foam all over her shoulders. What mattered were the deep, hungry kisses that meant more than a thousand unspoken words.
Eventually, the shower was forgotten. Cassian had pinned Cora to the wall, hands above her head, kissing and licking across her collarbone, leaving angry red spots whenever he sucked a little to hard. The water automatically turned off at some point, but neither of them noticed, too lost in the heat of the moment to give a damn about what was going on around them.
His fingers inside her were drawing restrained gasps of pleasure from her parted lips. By now he knew her by heart, his fingers almost instinctively finding her most sensitive spots. His palm pressing against her clit was making her tremble, and she kept thrusting her hips forward to meet the movement of his hand. She moaned when his lips closed over her nipple, sucking gently, her mind becoming cloudier with every flick of the tongue, with every curl of his fingers inside.
The tension was rapidly building inside her and it didn't take long for Cassian's expert fingers to take her over the edge, her nerves on fire. When he let go of her hands, she let herself slide down to her knees, her legs too wobbly to sustain her weight. She was breathing fast and shivering all over from her orgasm and as she peeked up, she saw Cassian looking at her with a very smug smile on his lips.
"Very pleased with ourselves, are we?" she laughed.
"A bit," he replied, grinning.
"Well, you should be. A bit."
She looked him in the eye when she took him in her hand and gave the head a tentative lick. The smug smile vanished in an instant, something more primal taking its place. His hands went to the wall for support and Cora snickered, fully aware that if he knew how to push her buttons, she knew how to make him lose his composure too.
No matter how restrained Cassian usually was, he didn't try to put up a front when it came to sex. While he wasn't really vocal, Cora could easily tell when she did the right thing. From the twitch of his cock when she licked the underside to the almost inaudible hiss that escaped his mouth when she took him in her mouth, trying to fit as much as she could without gagging, he was really easy to read. The ridge between his eyebrows accentuated as she flicked her tongue on the head, tasting his precum.
She liked seeing him like that, on the verge of losing all composure, knowing that she was the one making him feel that way. It was one of the very few instances when Cassian dropped his mask completely, letting himself be vulnerable and open, so she kept her eyes open, enjoying the look of complete surrender on his face.
She could feel the tension in his thighs as he tried not to push back into her throat knowing she didn't like it. Cora did her best to quicken the pace and give him the release he so desperately needed, but Cassian stopped her. It seemed like he wasn't gonna be as patient anymore, as he helped her up and turned her around to face the wall. Cora brought her hands forward for support and spread her legs to give him better access. She looked over her shoulder, a lascive smile playing on her lips as he hastily positioned himself behind her.
He entered her in one quick thrust of his hips, filling her completely, almost knocking the air out of her. Cora sucked in a breath as he placed soft kisses on her shoulder, allowing her to get used to the sensation of him filling her. It was more a case of mental adjusting, though, her body already ready to have him, but she still enjoyed the tiny moment of stillness, the way their bodies connected and fit so deliciously together, before he started pumping into her.
His pace was rushed and a little erratic, but Cora enthusiastically met his thrusts. His wet skin was slapping against her butt, filling the tiny bathroom with lewd sounds that mixed with the silent gasps of pleasure that sometimes escaped their parted mouths. She was already lost in the pleasure he managed to bring forth. It seemed so easy for him to make her lose her mind, she felt like she was putty in his hands.
It didn't take long for another orgasm to ripple through her entire body, leaving her lightheaded and breathless and terribly satisfied. He quickly followed, coming inside her with a low grunt, and hugging her tight, his face in the crook of her neck. For a moment, he rested his weight on Cora, completely spent. She entwined her fingers with his, just holding his hand for a while, before turning around and kissing him.
They stayed in the shower a few more minutes as they caught their breath, the warm water washing the sweat off their bodies. Cora had her eyes closed, clinging to Cassian's frame, her nose touching the skin on his neck. He used the same standard shower gel everyone on base used, but somehow it smelled different on his skin. She sighed, content.
"Do you want to get back in bed?" he said softly in her ear, turning the water off.
"Yeah," she sighed, content.
Cassian broke away from the embrace long enough to find a towel and drape it over Cora's shoulders. She smiled when he started drying her hair, she liked it when he took care if her. In exchange, she grabbed the edge of the towel and started patting some of the water dripping off his chest.
"When did you come back?" she asked, running her fingers over his skin along with the towel.
"Yesterday night."
"How did your mission go?" He passed the edge of the towel over her cheek wiping a drop of water and then kissed the spot. He was silent and his face had gone back to the usually unreadable mask he was wearing in public, so Cora knew not push. "How's your hand?" she asked instead.
"Pretty good, I'd say." He lifted his arm to let her look. The injuries he'd gotten on Samarkand had healed properly, especially since he'd been given time to rest. The other good thing about him being grounded—apart from spending a lot of time with Cora—was that he'd been given time for his injuries to properly heal. But even so, injuries like that might still hurt from time to time.
"I'm glad," she said, kissing his wrist.
Once they were both relatively dry he started looking through the closet for a change of clothes. Cora huffed, a little disappointed. She didn't mind looking at him walk around butt naked all day long, but she guessed it was time for them to get dressed. She smiled when he handed the neatly stacked pile of clothes to her.
"I hope these fit you," he said. "Yours are still damp. I'll put them in a laundry bag and take them to the cleaners in the morning."
"Thank you," she said, putting on a shirt that barely covered her ass, and leaving the rest on the nightstand. She'd probably have to walk to her room dressed in his clothes, but if she left early enough no one would see her. Not that she cared if anyone knew about her and Cassian, but she didn't want it to look like she was parading their relationship. "I didn't know you were back. If I'd known I wouldn't have…" The words died down when she tried saying them out loud. "I'm sorry that you had to see me like that," she said, looking away, but Cassian's hand cupped her chin and made her look up at him.
"Hey, it's okay. There's nothing to apologize for." He kissed her, pulling her close to his chest. "Everyone has bad days. I'm sorry that I couldn't do more for you."
"You listened to my drunken ramblings, that's enough for me." She rested her head on his still naked shoulder, breathing in the scent of his skin.
"Don't say that. It wasn't just that," he said, frowning slightly.
"Yeah, you're right," she sighed. "But I still shouldn't have unloaded on you. You have enough things to worry about as it is."
"I'll always listen if you want me to. But I might not be the best equipped to help you."
Cora lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him. He seemed worried, the crease between his eyebrows pretty visible. She sighed. This was one of the reasons she hated talking about her past, because it always made people worry about her mental health and it annoyed her. Although most of the time she knew they only wanted the best for her, it always sounded patronizing. They never took into account that she was a doctor and she knew how to treat herself.
"I'm fine," she said dryly, breaking out of his embrace, his touch suddenly overstimulating. "You don't need to worry about me. I just needed to get drunk, blow some steam, get some things off my chest. I'll be as good as new this time tomorrow. No more sulking, back to work!" She forced her face into a smile, but it wasn't genuine. She turned her back to him and headed for the bed, hoping that he would drop the issue.
"Please," he said, stopping her from advancing my snaking his arms around her chest and pulling her close, "don't take it the wrong way. I just think you'd feel better if you'd talk to someone."
"Yeah, I just did." She tried escaping this embrace too, but as gentle as it felt, he was immovable. "And I feel better, so thanks for that."
He was silent for a few moments, as if he was considering what to say. Cora could feel the tension in both of them, her own breathing resounding so loudly in the quiet room.
"I just don't think self-medicating is the solution," he eventually said, and Cora turned her head to look at him with a frown on her face.
"You know what, I really don't feel like taking health advice from someone who slaps a bacta patch on a blaster wound and calls it a day," she said, harshly.
Cassian dropped his arms and took a step back, and Cora felt out of balance without his warm chest pressed against her. It felt cold in more than one way. "I just thought you'd be more sensible than me," he said, coldly, putting on a pair of boxers and climbing in bed.
Cora sighed and quickly followed, slipping into bed next to him before he got the chance to turn his back to her. She hated arguing with Cassian, but no matter how hard they tried, sometimes they still butted heads. His arm around her back and the kiss on her forehead told her that he wasn't really mad. And neither was she. But it really pissed her off when people assumed that she wasn't holding it together. She could handle this by herself, she'd done it for years and was still functional and didn't like anyone poking their nose into her life and giving her advice. She knew what she had to do, she'd gone to medical school for this.
"Listen," she said, propping herself onto her elbow, her tone a lot softer than before. "I'm sorry for snapping at you. I know you mean well, but I'm fine, honestly. I don't want you to worry. I hate it when you worry."
"What's wrong with me worrying?" he said, frowning.
"That's my job!" Cora brushed away a few strands of hair from his forehead.
"Then what would my job be?"
"I'm not sure, but you could start by kissing me." Cassian's face relaxed into a smile. He grabbed her waist and pulled Cora on top of him, making her straddle his hips. "Oh, you want me to do all the work? On my day off?" He was starting to get hard once again, she could feel him, but she didn't mind going for another round.
She glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was still so early it could be considered 'late', but she wasn't feeling tired at all. Maybe it was the alcohol still in her veins (she doubted that her body had managed to filter it all so soon) or maybe because she blacked out early in the evening, or the shower, or the sex, but she felt really invigorated. She hated that she wasted a day off drinking her problems away when she could have spent it with Cassian, but there was nothing she could do about that now.
"Do you have to be at work tomorrow?"
"Yeah," he mumbled, and for half a second he looked really dejected. Maybe he'd wished they could have spent a whole day together too.
"Can't you take a day off?" she asked, a little unsure. She knew his work was crucial for the Rebellion, but she didn't really know what it entailed. "I know a doctor who would give you medical leave if you asked nicely," she added with a wink.
"You'd do that for me?" he asked, seeming really amused by the thought.
"Of course not," Cora snorted. "I wouldn't tarnish my good name giving you fake medical leave. But I know Doctor Crane would." Cassian laughed and pulled at the hem of the shirt Cora was wearing, prompting her to take it off. "Well, that didn't stay on long," she joked, throwing it on the floor.
The way Cassian was looking at her, like he hadn't seen her stark naked just a little while back, was already making her hot. The smirk in the corner of his lips as his hands went to her hips, caressing her sides was making her belly squirm. She was idly rubbing her crotch against his cock, teasing him, making him grow harder with every roll of her hips.
She leaned down, kissing him lazily. "I missed you," she whispered against his lips and kissed him harder, not letting him say anything in reply.
He pressed his cock against her crotch, eliciting a gasp from Cora. She tangled her hands into his hair, deepening the kiss as he pulled her closer, her breasts pressing into his chest. His skin feeling hot against hers. His fingers on her back were gently tracing her scar, the skin still a little more sensitive than the rest, despite the bacta patches she kept putting on it.
She sat up, prompting him to lift his hips enough for her to be able to push his boxers down his hips, revealing his cock. She slowly sunk down on him, moaning as he filled her up, enjoying the familiar feeling of him stretching her out.
It was lazy and almost completely involuntary the way their bodies moved together, but they fit so well. There was no urgency, no pressure. Cora was setting the pace while Cassian was looking at her with heavy lidded eyes, his hands on her thighs. He wasn't trying to rush her, he just caressed her skin gently.
His touch felt so good. He was caring and gentle, and he seemed to really want to slow down and savor the moment. Cora loved it. She'd been so used to rushed sex in dark, cramped corners, that only now was she learning what it felt like to really enjoy your partner, to take the time to know them. To feel them deeper, on a spiritual level.
Because on the physical level, she was already pretty close to paradise. She didn't know what exactly about Cassian made her so easily aroused, but she was thankful. She got to experiment intimacy and human closeness to another level. She got to look him in the eye as she came, clutching onto his shoulders for support, trembling slightly from the intensity of it all. Then got to feel him tense and fall apart in her hands once he found his own release.
She collapsed next to him, her nerves on fire. She laid on her back for a few minutes, her arm covering her eyes, enjoying the feeling of lethargy that came after a good orgasm. Cassian was silent next to her, still catching his breath, but the silence was a comfortable one.
However, he was overthinking. She could easily tell, once she turned her head to look at him, by the serious expression on his face and the gaze glued to the ceiling. She snuggled closer to him, trying to figure out what was wrong..
"I know that frown," she said, bringing her hand to his forehead, trying to gently brush away the crease. "What's bothering you? Is it top secret work stuff?" she asked, but he didn't reply right away. Moments like these happened on occasion and although Cora would ask, she'd usually get a vague answer.
"I was just thinking about what you told me last night." He was still looking at the ceiling and Cora sighed. "Do you remember everything you said?"
The jerk knee reaction was to avoid talking about this altogether, but she realized that he deserved more than silence after she subjected him to her drunken confessions. "I think so? I think I blacked out at the end, but everything until that point is still somewhat clear."
"Do you remember asking me if I'd have to report back on this?" he asked, tilting his head just enough to be able to glance at her. Cora's heart skipped a bit. Yeah, she remembered that very well.
"I do," she said, taking a deep breath. "I know I put you in a difficult position," she forced the words out of her mouth, "and I'm sorry. I should have kept my mouth shut."
"No," he said, full of determination. "You needed someone to talk to and it's my job as a… it's part of my job to listen."
"Reporting back is also part of your job," she said trying hard not to sound dejected. "You shouldn't have to be put in the position to choose between me and the Rebellion."
"What?" He propped himself onto an elbow to look at her. "Who said I had to choose between anything?"
Ok, she realized she was being a little overdramatic, but it kinda felt like that. She knew what withholding information could do to someone in the military and considering how much Draven hated her, siding with her might very well end Cassian's career.
"I don't have to choose between anything," he continued, but the apologetic expression on his face made her heart sink. "But I will have to ask if you'd be willing to let me report on some of the things you said yesterday." The moral battle Cassian was fighting was written all over his face, and Cora hated that she was the cause for it.
"Yeah," she replied, and felt surprisingly relieved by it. As time passed she'd gotten more involved in the Rebellion and she'd started to feel the pressure of the things she knew and didn't divulge. She wasn't sure she had any information they might consider useful, but she still felt like she wasn't being totally honest. "As long as you leave out the… circumstances in which you got the information."
"Of course."
"What do you think is of interest?" She doubted Draven had use for any details regarding her childhood trauma or Admiral Enoch's bad parenting.
"Anything you might know about Krennic. And Galen Erso."
Hearing Krennic's name brought out a new wave of anger, but she had no objection in telling him everything she knew. She'd be very happy if anything she told them could eventually contribute to his demise. The bastard deserved it.
"I don't know much about Krennic," she said. "He worked, well, still works with my father I suppose, but I wouldn't call them friends. I think they were somewhat closer when my mom was alive, I think, or I might have seen him often because I was living on Corinthia, but as I grew up we'd only really meet at formal events. I wish I could tell you more, but I don't really know much."
"It's alright," he said with a long, heavy kiss on her temple, that made her feel a little better. "What can you tell me about the report on your mother's death? The project she was working on?"
That sent an unpleasant shiver down her spine and she pressed herself closer to his chest. His voice had the same sharp tone he used for interrogations such a long time ago, but Cora dismissed it as job conditioning. Somehow it sounded weird, considering that they were both naked and they'd just had sex. But now that she thought about it, he would have had a better chance of loosening her tongue when she was imprisoned if he would have thoroughly fucked her before getting to the questioning.
"Hmmm… I'm not sure I have much valuable information about that. I was more interested in what it said about my mom, didn't care as much about the technical details. But I could try and write down for you everything I remember? My mind is really hazy right now."
"Don't worry about it now," he said. "We can talk about it another time, okay? You'd better try to get some sleep. It's still early."
"I'm not tired," she said, looking at the clock and scrunching her nose. "Yeah, we'll talk another time," she said, resting her head on his chest and yawning, despite her previous statement. "I'll tell you everything you want to know," she continued, "but I don't want Draven interrogating me. I don't like him, he doesn't like me, and it would just end up in a fight. I'd rather you ask the questions."
"Of course," he said, and she could feel his arm around her shoulders tense a little. "I wouldn't let Draven be shit to you anyway. I'm sorry for ever letting him do that to you. But things have changed since then."
"Yes, a lot of thing have changed," she agreed. They they weren't enemies for one, and they weren't strangers either. She felt like she'd grown a lot since she'd met him, and she was really thankful that he'd barged into her life and changed it completely.
While in the beginning the only thing Cora wanted was to save her skin, gradually she'd gotten more and more invested in the Alliance's cause. And it wasn't just because she was in love with Cassian or for her friends' sake, or because she felt guilty for her and her family's contribution in this war; no, she was doing it because she knew this was the right thing to do. She wasn't trying to run anymore, not from herself, not from her father or the Empire.
She knew that Cassian had played a huge role in this. It wasn't just her love for him, but he inspired her to be better, to fight for what she believed in and to help the ones she cared about. He was the main reason she'd stayed on base even when it had gotten hard and the only thing she'd wanted to do was to give up and run. He'd been her pillar. Somehow, her love for him had made her braver.
"I know this isn't an excuse," he said, and Cora could feel the uncertainty in his voice, "I know I shouldn't have acted the way I did anyway, but It feels even worse now that we're… here." He pulled her a little closer, and Cora hugged his chest. "I wouldn't have done that if I'd ever thought… But I never dreamed that we'd end up… here."
"You mean, in your bed?" Cora asked with a cheeky grin on her face, tilting her head to look at him.
"Well, yeah," he said with a breathy laugh.
"What? You didn't think we'd end up dating?" she said and her heart skipped a beat, so she tried hiding her nervousness behind a joke. "You didn't like my flirting style? Insults work every time." Cassian laughed, his chest vibrating under her fingers.
"No," he said, brushing a stand of hair from her face, his eyes a bit melancholic. "I didn't think we'd end up dating." She didn't remember ever hearing him talk about dating before, and it both excited and scared her. Maybe things had really changed. And maybe it was time they both acknowledged it. "I'd hoped… not at first, but as time passed, I'd hoped we could...maybe." He laughed, passing a hand over his eyes. "Never thought it would actually happen."
Cora shifted so that now she was laying on his chest, looking directly at him. "Why not?" she asked, genuinely surprised. She hadn't known if he liked her for some time, but she was pretty sure that she'd been pretty damn obvious about it.
"I don't know," he said, brushing his thumb over her cheek. "I guess I've just thought I'd always be alone."
"Well, you're not alone now," she said, smiling, kissing his chest above his heart.
"No, I'm not." He smiled back, tangling his fingers into her hair, holding her close, his arms tightening around her in a protective gesture.
He seemed a bit lost in thought for a while, so Cora settled back into his embrace. It was uncommon for him to talk about himself and what he felt, especially when it involved relationships. But he'd also brought her to his quarters, and even though she could argue that it was just for the sake of convenience, it was still a step forward. He'd slowly, but progressively opened up to her as time passed.
"About this..." he eventually broke the silence, but didn't finish the idea.
"About what?" she asked, lifting her head to look him in the eye. He seemed a little flustered, but Cora blamed it on the poor light playing tricks on her perception.
"About us?"
A shiver ran down Cora's spine and she couldn't really tell if it was a good or a bad feeling. "What about us?"
"Have you thought where this is going?"
She shrugged. "Not really. Forward I suppose?" She had no idea what prompted this whole conversation about their relationship and it was so out of the blue that it scared her a little. Usually these things ended up in a breakup—or at least that's what she assumed—but there hadn't been any signs that he might have been thinking about a breakup. She was a little confused. "Are you trying to ask me if I thought about our future?" she pressed, seeing as he didn't seem willing to share what he was thinking.
"Yeah." He let out a relieved breath. "Do you ever think about our future?"
"Yeah. Sometimes." She shrugged. "The future in general doesn't look very bright, but I don't know, you give me hope that there might be light at the end of the tunnel after all. Does that sound sappy?" she asked with a smile, and Cassian pressed a kiss on her forehead.
"No, it's not sappy. I think…" A insistent knock knock the door made him forget what he was saying. "Wait here," he told her, climbing out of bed and putting on a pair of boxers and a shirt.
Cora sat up on the bed, wrapping herself in a sheet and trying to stay as far away from the door as possible. She watched him open it, the light pouring in from the hallway almost blinding. She couldn't hear what they were talking, but the hushed conversation had a note of urgency that made Cora's stomach contract painfully.
When he came back, he didn't return to the bed, instead taking out some clothes from the closet and starting to get dressed. It seemed this was the abrupt end to their peaceful night spent together. Cora sighed, but she was resigned. This was his job, after all.
"That doctor's note won't do much good now, would it?" she asked, hopping off the bed and hugging Cassian from behind.
He stopped what he was doing and looked at her over his shoulder. "No, I have to go." His voice was serious and a little sad.
"Did anything bad happen?"
"I don't know," he said, looking down and fidgeting with the buckle of the trousers he was holding in his hand. "I just have to go check something."
Cora knew she wasn't going to get more information than that, so she didn't push it. But she couldn't deny the sinking feeling that something terrible was about to happen. "I have a bad feeling about this," she said, resting her forehead on his shoulder.
"Hey," he said, turning around and holding her in his arms. "Nothing bad's gonna happen. It's just a routine mission," he tried reassuring her, but she knew he was lying—none of his missions were 'routine'. She smiled nonetheless. "I'll cook for you when I come back," he promised, tilting her head so he could kiss her.
"You better!" she said, stealing a couple more kisses. She was going to miss him, like she did every time he was away.
"You should stay here today, get some sleep," he said, breaking the embrace to scribble a four-digit number on a piece of paper. "This is the access code, in case you wanna go in and out."
Cora took the slip of paper and stared at it. "What if I make a mess in your absence?" she joked, trying to break the tension, but her voice sounded sad, even to her own ears.
"It needs some cleaning anyway," he chuckled and went back to dress himself.
She watched in silence as he hurriedly got dressed, holding the sheet close to her body. Her heart ached thinking that in only a few minutes he'd be gone and only the gods could know what he was going to get himself into. She wanted to hug him tight, kiss him until her lips hurt, and tell him she loved him; ask him not to go, to stay a little longer. But she knew that wasn't possible. So instead he kissed him lightly, taking a good look at him.
"Take care," she whispered, his hands heavy on her hips as he held her to his chest, the jacket of his uniform feeling rough under her fingers. "Come back safe. I'll be waiting for you."
There was a determined look on his face as he nodded and kissed her one last time, before saying goodbye and taking his leave. The blast doors closed behind him, and Cora was left standing in the middle of his room, clutching a piece of paper in her hand.
She considered getting dressed and leaving his quarters right away, hoping there would be less people to witness her walk of shame in Cassian's clothes, but then decided that she'd rather follow Cassian's advice and get some sleep. After all, nobody really seemed to care about what her and Cassian were doing, because although she'd been scared of rumours being spread, no one seemed to be talking. Or at least, they seemed to be able to hide it from her, which was the only thing she asked for.
She yawned, stretched her aching muscles, and crawled back into the bed that still held some of Cassian's warmth and fell asleep almost instantly. She woke up a few hours later, with a hangover.
Not the mother of all hangovers, no, but her stomach still did a double flip when she climbed out of Cassian's bed. The clock on the nightstand showed that it was almost noon. She only slept that long after a night shift, but if she thought about it, the fatigue level was comparable. She lazily went to the bathroom and then got dressed. What would happen if someone knocked on Cassian's door, she wondered, only to find her half dressed in his clothes, in the middle of his room.
Right now almost everyone must have been crowded in the mess hall, leaving the hallways deserted, so it might be the best time to leave unseen. Alternatively, she could spend the whole day napping and rummaging through Cassian's things and leave at night, but her stomach was rumbling and even though right now it was just disgruntled from the excess of alcohol, she knew that at some point she'd have to eat.
She opened the door and was hit in the face by the light coming from the hallway. Her eyes started seeing stars and she could sense the imminent onset of a headache. She groaned and almost went back inside, but instead let the doors close behind her and headed for the med bay.
She looked at her reflection in the glass doors: she was a mess. She looked like a ghost, and a very unhealthy one, with dark circles under her eyes, dry skin and lifeless hair. But what else could she expect after drinking so much? She liked the clothes though. They didn't fit her properly, after all Cassian wasn't the same size as her, but he still managed to find something that she could wear out in public for whatever long it took her to go down a few levels. She didn't even mind the laundry bags she was carrying—the least she could do to pay him back was to drop them at the washer's.
She sneaked into the med bay hoping no one would see her raid the medicine cabinet. Not that she was doing anything illegal, but she really didn't want to give any explanations, especially to Aidan, who was covering her shift for the day. Luckily, there didn't seem to be anyone in sight.
"Party hard last night?" she heard Dr. Crane's voice from behind her, and her heard almost broke out of her chest. How could these people walk so silently?
"It wasn't a party, but it was definitely hard," she groaned, picking a tonic and some painkillers from the cabinet. This was going to make her feel better, she hoped. Only after Dr. Crane started snickering did she realize what she'd said. "The drinking I mean," she laughed, embarrassed.
"Of course, of course," the doctor laughed. "I like your style this morning," he said, and Cora could feel her cheeks starting to burn. "Cassian's uniform suits you."
"Well," she mumbled, closing the cabinet and getting ready to leave the galaxy, "accidents happened." She lifted the laundry bags, but she had no idea what he got from that, nor did she care, she just wanted to be back in her room, away from people, nursing her hangover. "I'll be off, then," she said with a goofy smile, heading for the door.
"Make sure to eat something," he yelled after her, but Cora just waved goodbye, before nearly colliding with Aidan who seemed to be returning from lunch.
"Morning," she said on a high pitched tone. It really wasn't the best day to keep bumping into people, but it was her fault for trying to sneak into dangerous places.
"Morning? It's noon," he laughed, but she could feel him eyeing her suspiciously.
"I have no excuse," she shrugged and hurried out of there, before he could ask her about her disheveled state.
She almost ran back to her quarters, but luckily didn't bump into anyone else on the way to the underground level. The adrenaline seemed to boost the hangover symptoms, so she drank the tonic and a painkiller, hoping for the best.
She changed into her own clothes after taking a quick shower, planning to spend the rest of the day until dinner huddled in blankets, reading something on her datapad, when she heard a knock on her door. She groaned, hoping it wasn't an emergency, because drinking the night before had really taken a toll on her.
"Good afternoon, Doctor Enoch," one of the soldiers greeted her. The serious look on his face sent a shiver down her spine. "Senator Mothma has requested your presence in the war room."
"Is it an emergency?" Cora asked, the hair on the back of her neck standing on end. She wondered if she should change into her medical uniform.
"I don't know," he replied with a shrug. "I haven't been told anything. But it seemed a bit urgent."
"Alright," she said, and stepped out of her room, the blast doors closing behind her. "Lead the way."
She kept biting her lip on the way up, anxiety growing with every step she took. The feeling that something bad was about to happen was once again overwhelming, and Cora had to make a superhuman effort to keep a straight face.
The war room was full of people, but none of them paid any attention to her walking in. Last time she'd walked in there was a group of people waiting for her to be interrogated. This time their eyes were glued to different screens and no one stopped what they were doing, not even to say hello. She felt a shiver run down her spine.
"Doctor Enoch," Mon Mothma said, coming into her line of sight followed closely by Draven. "We're sorry to have demanded your presence on your day off, but we've been told that you might have some information on Galen Erso."