Chapter Twenty Five
Author's Note: Thank you to Kristine and Courtney37 for your reviews on the previous chapters. Courtney, I am sorry you don't like where the story is going. Please just stick with it, I promise the pace is going to change in the next few chapters. I have the next three outlined and I am almost ready to write them (I just need to procrastinate more with my school work so I can write them out!). Thanks for the feedback.
Enjoy! LA
Buffy got into her car and rested her head on the steering wheel. Tears began to escape from her green eyes. She was emotionally wiped out after the confrontation that she had with her friends. She honestly wanted to admit that yes Riley was hitting her and hurting her but she couldn't. Buffy thought that Riley would get into so much trouble. Then, after he got into trouble without a doubt he would come after her. She couldn't say anything.
She picked up her head and started the car. She pulled out of the drive way and down the street. She really did have to run to the store for her mother but she chose not to go to the store first. It was New Years Day and traffic was really light in town. Buffy decided to take a walk down the shore of the beach. She needed time to be alone to think. With her house fill of her friends she knew she couldn't have any alone time to think.
Her little car pulled into a parking space right next to the beach. She watched surfers try and ride the waves for a few minutes before she got out of the car. It was seasonably warm for January.
Buffy decided to take her shoes off and walk along the beach. She let the water hit her feet. She began to think about the events in her life. She surely believed that she did something to Riley and that she deserved to be punished for it. She just wished that she knew what it was so she could fix it. She didn't want him to be angry any more. She didn't want her friends to be pre-judge him any more. She wanted her friends to like him and understand why she loved him.
She reflected on the many times she wanted to tell Oz she couldn't go to his shows because Riley didn't want her to and when she did try to see him she was disciplined by him. She wanted to tell Xander that he had to call before visiting so Riley wouldn't find out by a surprise and smack her around. Buffy wanted to cry and tell her baby sister that she had every reason to be angry and scared with him. He wasn't nice to her. She wanted to assure her friends that she was loosing weight because Riley thought she was too heavy when they began dating. She knew she was under weight but really, she didn't want to change that. She didn't want to make him upset any more.
As she reflected on him, she looked over to that spot. The spot where Angel used to go to get away from it all. The place where they spent endless hours talking and laughing. There were so many good memories sitting on the rocks. As she looked harder there was a person standing on the rocks. This person was throwing shells and rocks back into the ocean. From where she was it was hard for her to determine if she knew the person until she got close to the rocks.
When she finally was about to walk on beyond the rocks, she noticed the figure know sitting on the rocks was actually Angel. He was know sitting down on the rock and had his head down resting in his palms. He looked like he was upset.
After debating for a few seconds on whether or not to interrupt him, Buffy decided to.
"Hi stranger, fancy meeting you here," she told him with a smile.
He looked up slowly and nodded. "Hi, happy new year."
"The same to you. Is everything all right? You looked a little stressed."
"Yeah, everything is fine, I just made a decision today and I don't know if I made the right one. There are so many things going on, especially in my head right now, things have just been crazy, that's all. What about you? What brings you to the beach? You don't exactly look like your about to take a swim."
Buffy walked closer to Angel and sat next to him. "No, no swimming today for me. I was just thinking about some things too. Are you sure you're all right?"
Angel leaned back and leaned back. He was looking far into the overcast sky. "Yeah, everything is fine. I just decided that I am not going back to NYC."
"What? You love New York."
"I do, and I love the school."
"Then why?"
"There are so many reasons Buffy. Mom is still a mess about grandma passing away. During Christmas she took out a recipe and began to cry because it was in grandma's writing. She is having such a hard time dealing with it. It isn't fair that Xander is the only one at home dealing with this. I want to help her too and be there for him. I was thinking about some things and I really think this is the best thing for right now. I have to be there for my family"
"What else have you been thinking about?" Buffy asked.
"Football. I miss it. I miss playing and being part of a team. I don't have time for anything extra at NYC. I don't know, I hope I am making the right decision," Angel said as he sat up and wiped the sand off his hands. He looked at Buffy with a half smile. "What about you? Are you all right?"
Buffy looked down at the rock. "Yes, I am very happy. I have wonderful friends and school is going great. I-I," she said beginning to get irritated, "I am so sick of everyone asking if I am all right! Why don't people think I am all right? I am fine! Go-"
Angel cut her off. "All right, I am sorry I bothered asking. I just wanted to make sure you were happy."
Buffy was staring into the ocean. She watched as waves crashed in to the sand. "No, I'm sorry. I am very happy," she said in a melancholy voice.
"You don't sound or look it."
"Excuse me?"
Angel took a deep breath before continuing. "You look like you are about to have a nervous break down and, by the way, when was the last time you ate? You are so thin."
Buffy was furious at that moment. She went from watching the peaceful beach to looking Angel in the eyes. "Excuse me?" She repeated. "Where do you get off telling me how I look?'
Angel looked back into Buffy's eyes. "I-I just want to make sure that your all right. You are a good person and I care about you. I want to make sure that you are being treated well." Angel said as he began to look out into the cloud again. "Is Riley still treating you all right?"
Buffy looked out into the same space that Angel was looking at. Overwhelmed by her emotions, she cried. "He treats me fine."
"Then why the tears?"
Buffy tried to control herself but she couldn't any more. "Riley is a great person, he truly is. I do love him, but-"
"But what?" Angel inquired.
Tears rushed down Buffy's face. She could no longer hold back the tears. "But he has hit me."
"What?" Angel asked not really too shocked. After all, Xander had come to speak to Angel about his suspicions and Angel had seen Buffy with his own eyes and saw the look she had in her eyes.
"He's hit me and-and he, he has made me make love to him when I didn't want to," she explained sheepishly.
"He forced you to have sex?" Angel asked a little more shocked this time. Xander had never mentioned anything about rape.
Buffy looked down at her folded hands and nodded. "He told me that I was fat and I needed to loose weight if I wanted to be with him. I exercised like crazy and went days without eating until he approved of my weight," she said a little more composed and wiping her face. "But I don't want you to think that he is a bad person."
"Buffy he hits you and rapes you and forced you to do things that you shouldn't have had to do." Angel explained.
Buffy was silent for a brief moment. "But you should see him around the kids he works with. He is a Big Bro-"
"He works with children?" Angel asked very surprised.
Buffy smiled. "Yes, he is so great with them. He really is a good person; I just make him angry sometimes."
Angel shook his head. He couldn't believe that the level headed girl he once had a relationship with was talking the way she was. "Buffy, when someone abuses you, it isn't your fault."
Buffy turned and looked at Angel. "But it is. I make him so angry sometimes. I shouldn't. If I just knew what made him angry I just wouldn't do it any more. I-"
Interrupting her, Angel went on. "Buffy, you have to do something about him. He is hurting you."
"He doesn't mean to. I told you-"
Interrupting again, Angel continued bluntly. "Did you ever think that he may kill you some day?"
Mortified, Buffy shook her head. "No, no, Riley would never do that."
"You might. Some day one of the beatings may just go too far," Angel stopped once he saw the scared expression on her face. He scared her. Good. He wanted to scare her so she would stay away from him. He wanted her to think about every possibility in her case. "You have to do something about this Buffy. You have to tell someone, the police, a counselor, somebody. You have to take charge of this before it's too late."
Again, she just shook her head and began to cry again. "No, I can't Angel. If I told anyone he will hurt me more than he all ready has. I can't tell any one." She paused for a moment and put her hand to her mouth and cried harder. In between sobs she spoke again. "Angel, I have told you. You have to promise me that you won't say anything to anyone. Not to Xander, not to my parents. You can not breathe a word of this to anyone."
Angel moved closer to Buffy and put an arm around her. "Why not? Why is it so bad if you tell some one?"
"Because he will hurt me if I do."
Angel was torn. He didn't know what to do. He had never been in a situation like this. "If I promise you that I will not say anything, you have to promise me you will get some kind of help. You have to get out of that relationship."
"But Riley promised me that he is going to get help. He promised."
Again, Angel was blunt. "Why do you choose to believe a man who beats and rape you? Why do you think he will get help?"
Still crying, she rested her head on Angel's shoulder. "Because he loves me, I know he does."
Angel just held Buffy as she wept even more.