Chapter 25: Notice

Will's POV

I was glad she came back. I was glad she was here. I was glad we can just start over again.

"Collide"

Every Sunday night, Lily and I have decided to just hang out; mostly we would just hang in my room. Sunday was the best night for us to catch up because by then, we both had caught up on homework for the beginning of the week, my dorm mates usually went somewhere to play cards, and we both had no Quidditch. Yes, even Lily wasn't that hardcore as most people believe she is.

Last Sunday was the first time we met up. I didn't think Lily wanted to come back this Sunday because last time, I had asked her opinion on Lauren. I needed a girl's opinion and I needed to tell someone how I felt without being made fun of. But last Sunday consisted of a conversation like this (last week):

"She's so amazing!" I had said. Lily, who had been lying on my bed at the time was looking through some magazine, raised an eyebrow in the shape of an arc. "I mean, I've never been with any girl like her," I explained.

"Probably because she's the only girl you ever went out with," Lily had replied with.

"Yeah, and you know how in stories that the first one is almost always the right one?" I asked.

"No," she had said. I continued whether she actually did know or not.

"I think she's the right one, you know?" She turned a page in the magazine.

"Really Will I think…" She had started to say, but I cut her off.

"L.P, you don't understand. Maybe once when you start dating you will, but it's so…" I trailed off. I wanted to say "magical" or "dreamlike" or something that nearly knocks the wind right out of me, but they all sounded stupid.

"Nauseating?" Lily had asked. I looked over at her and she was still looking through the magazine like she was hardly hearing what I was saying. Perhaps, she isn't the right person to be talking to about this stuff.

"Right, I forgot," I said, scratching the back of my head.

"Forgot what?" Lily had asked in a sharp tone. Uh…

"Nothing, forget it." It was too late. I've got her full attention even if she was still looking at the magazine. Her eyes were not moving so she was clearly listening for an answer.

"Forgot what? That I'm a girl? Is that it?" She had asked.

"No, it's just, I don't know. You never experienced anything like this so of course you must be confused or at least clueless to what I'm talking about," I said. I sat down on the bed next to her only to come face to face with the magazine. It filled the space between us.

"Will," she had said my name. I looked to where she was hiding behind the magazine. "I wasn't born stupid. I understand what you're talking about. It's not like I never felt what you're feeling. I'm worried that you've got this whole…fantasy like everything is going to end up in some fairytale. Do you honestly believe that's going to happen?" Lily had asked.

"I know what you're saying, L.P, but I think you're wrong. People always think that fairytales, as you put it, don't come true."

"Which they don't," she had said. I ignored her.

"I disagree. I believe there is that moment where everything does end with a happily ever after."

"In what century? When dinosaurs roamed the Earth? Because you and I both know they don't get their happy ending." I sighed with frustration. She really didn't get it. "Sorry, continue."

"It's just that when I'm with Lauren, nothing else matters. She's like that foundation, keeping me stable." I said smiling at the thought of her face and her smile. I turned to look at Lily. "She's a lot like you, L.P." Lily looked up at me and for the first time since our discussion, I saw her eyes soften like she was actually listening to me; that she understood me. I got up from the bed and looked out the window. "I want to tell her I love her."

I heard a snort. I wondered when she would do that.

"Will, you're sixteen, you don't even know what love is," she said. She's got a point. Maybe, I don't, but how do I tell my heart to stop feeling the way I do when I see Lauren.

"You really know how to kill someone's spirits," I said disappointed in her response. But, I'm glad I'm telling Lily and not someone else because if it were anybody else like Hugo I think I would have been humiliated in expressing my feelings out in the open. I can never be mad at Lily. She's been there much more than I have asked for.

"Yeah, it's kind of why I'm boyfriend less," she had said, "But what do I know. I say the wrong things all the time, but if that's how you truly feel then perhaps you should go for it," she said. She put the magazine back up to hide behind it.

"Thanks L.P." I said appreciating her company. She got up from my bed, tucking the magazine under her arm.

"Yeah," she said not thoroughly pleased with her suggestions. "I've got to go."

"Oh, ok. I'm glad we caught up [Lily gave me a look] a little, but it was good seeing you no matter what. I missed you," I said. I really did miss talking to her even though she can be so bitter and cold sometimes.

"Same," she said at the door, but before she left she looked back at me, "Just be careful and be prepared for anything." She gave me a small smile.

"You too," I said, "I couldn't bare if my best friend got hurt." She glanced my way for one second and closed the door without looking back. For one minute, I thought she was pissed at what I said, but I didn't see how she could. Eh, that's just Lily.

(Three days ago)

I found Lauren with her normal group of friends. It was always so hard to approach her because she was always surrounded by that group. It didn't make sense why girls felt the need to walk around in groups. What was it trying to prove, exactly?

I saw one of the girls nudge Lauren in the side and point over to me. Hasn't anybody told the girl that it's rude to point?

"Looks whose here to see you!" She squealed under her breath. Lauren looked over at me and gave me a warm smile.

"I'll catch you guys later," she said, waving them off. She came over to me, alone. She wrapped her arms around me and nuzzled herself into my chest. "Hey Will," she said.

"Hey," I said and gently pushed her off me so I can talk to her face-to-face. She looked up at me with concern.

"I was wondering if we could take a walk somewhere and just talk," I asked. Lauren's eyes popped open.

"Talk about what?" She demanded.

I gave her sly smirk and said: "You'll see," I took her hand and pulled her with me, but the last thing on her face was terror. "Don't worry I'm not going to murder you," I joked. She didn't laugh.

We reached outside. The beginning of October seemed to promise us winter real soon. I put an arm around Lauren so she wouldn't get cold even though she had a perfectly warm sweater on. Other students were headed inside to get some warm apple cider from the Great Hall. Once we made it to the winding path that led to the Quidditch Pitch, Lauren snuck out from my grasp and walked beside me.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Lauren asked. There was a hint of sadness and anger in her voice. I didn't know why she was being like this.

"I don't know I just thought we could use a bit of alone time," I said. Lauren huffed.

"I know what this is about," she said. She does? And she's mad at me for it? "And let me tell you something Will, Lily only wants you as her prize."

"Lily? What does Lily have to do with this?" I asked confused.

"That's why you're breaking up with me, right? But, I know her, Will, and she will do anything to get what she wants. Maybe she slipped you a love potion. Oh my God, did you perhaps, drink anything odd today?" She asked.

"Lauren, calm down. I didn't drink any, er, love potion," I said. The word "love" was suddenly hard to say. I wonder if I could actually say what I mean to say to her. "And I'm not breaking up with you."

"Oh…well, what did you mean when you said you wanted to go for a walk?" She asked nervously.

"Well, I did want to talk to you about something," I pretended to scratch my head to clear my head a bit so I can say all the things right, "I didn't realize you thought I wanted to break up with you. It's more of the opposite of that."

"Oh," Lauren said her cheeks going red. I couldn't tell if it was out of embarrassment or because she knows I want to take a step further. Then she whispered, "Don't you think we're a bit young?" This time I went red in the face. Why do girls always think they know what we're talking about? Why must they always have some direct conclusion?

"Uh no, not that," I made myself say. "Lauren, I just wanted to tell you that…" Just say it. Just say it. "I just wanted to tell you that I love you." I looked at her for an expression. And there is was.

Hugo gave me the password to the Gryffindor Common Room as I exchanged our password with him to the Hufflepuff Common Room.

There was only one thought that kept hammering my mind. I needed to see Lily and tell her what happened.

"You're not a Gryffindor," The Fat Lady peering down at me.

I looked at my robes, "Oh you mean this? [I pointed to my yellow badge] Mine got ruined. A friend from Hufflepuff lent me his. Now, can you just ask for the password so I can get through?" I asked impatiently.

The Fat Lady looked insulted by what I said, but she suddenly asked: "Password?"

"Metsplutter," I said airlessly.

"Precisely," she said and swung open. I walked through, but she closed rather abrupt that I think she was trying to push me in for being snippy with her.

The Gryffindor Common Room was practically vacant except for a few first and second years playing wizard chess. I found Lily immediately on the floor trying to find something she must had dropped. Good thing she wasn't in her room or I'd have to wait for a girl to come down and ask her to fetch her, but this was perfect.

"Hey L.P." I said as I approached her. Lily looked up at me. She wasn't shocked how I got in here as I expected her to be, but Lily always does things unexpectedly.

"Oh hey Will," Lily said to me from the floor.

"What are you doing down there?" I asked as I sat down in an armchair.

"Looking for my specs," she said.

"You wear glasses?" I asked surprised.

"Unfortunately, that's what I get when I have a father who is nearly blind." She said and folded her arms in disappointment, "I took out my contacts and now I can hardly see a thing." She stood up to look over one of the long tables. She crouched down, flattened herself against the floor, and started to look underneath it.

I never realized what nice legs Lily had…

She bent herself back up so that she was on all fours with her bum stretched out facing toward me. I couldn't help, but watch. All too soon she bumped her head trying to crawl back from underneath the table that I had to look away. I felt myself go all red in the face.

"Any luck?" I asked.

"No," she said rubbing her head, "I really don't know what I did with them."

"Hold on, let me help you look," I said and got on my hands and knees to help her, but before I could start searching she waved me to go on the other side. So I did.

There was a ton of stuff under here. A lot of Gryffindors must have tried hiding stuff from their dorm mates to ensure they would never find it.

I started moving stuff away and pushing them out from underneath to get a better view. Then I saw something gleaming a bit to my left. It looked like the specs Lily was looking for. I crawled over to it and was ready to reach for them only to bump my head on something else; something hard.

"Ow," I said and looked to find Lily rubbing her head as well. We both made to grab for the specs, but I stopped my hand from continuing when Lily had got there first. I looked up to see her looking over at me. She gave me a small smile and started to crawl out from underneath. It took me a moment before I did the same. What the hell was that?

Once I was out from underneath I looked over at Lily who had put her specs back on and sat on the couch.

"So what brings you here, Will?" She asked. Suddenly, I didn't feel like telling Lily about Lauren. I couldn't.

"Uh, I was looking for Hugo," I said.

"Hugo left not too long ago. I think he was going to your House," Lily said.

"Oh, he did? Well, I've got something to tell him, so I better catch up with him before I miss him again," I said lamely. Lily nodded and picked up a book of which we were reading for Charms. "Later," I said to her and gave her small wave.

"Bye," she said. I exited.

Lily had strolled in on Sunday at the same time as last. Once I saw Lily, I immediately thought about Friday and how Lauren had completely freaked out on me. I didn't understand why? I thought she felt the same. I was glad Lily had just showed up because I desperately needed to know what this all means. Last time, I just couldn't bring myself to ask her. I had also hoped that Lily wouldn't have shown up after that weird thing that happened three nights ago.

"So, did you tell her yet?" Lily asked as she came in.

"Tell who, what?" I asked. I hope she wasn't going to bring up Lauren.

"Lauren. Did you tell her how you feel?" She asked as she plopped onto my bed. I bit the inside of my cheek. She will laugh if she knew what had happened. But, I shouldn't lie to her because she was, after all, my best friend.

"I think I freaked her out," I said.

"Oh," was Lily's first response, "I'm sorry, Will." I expected her not to feel sorry at all, but her sad face showed she was.

"Yeah, it's ok. You were right though. Maybe it was too soon," I said.

"It was never that, Will. It was the fact that the word 'love' freaks people out. For people about to marry; it'll mean that the person they're marrying is 'it.' In some cases, people look for ways out through affairs and such. Other cases, 'love' could mean that the person who says it wants to have a good hold on the other that it becomes hard for the other person to breathe. Often times, it can ruin relationships. That's my whole opinion on it."

"It would have been nice if you said that earlier," I muttered.

"You wouldn't have listened. You would have told her anyway," She pointed out. I frowned. That was true, I wouldn't have.

Lily lies back on my bed and put her hands behind her head so she was gazing up at the ceiling. I flung myself onto Jordin Monx's bed and looked over at her. She had closed her eyes by then.

I never noticed how well-defined her body was. I mean sure she had muscles in her arms from Quidditch that made other girls look like sticks and she had that brilliant dark red hair, that you'd never see anywhere else even though it was always pushed back in a ponytail. But it was all the things you weren't supposed to look at as a best friend to Lily Potter.

Not many people notice the cute small nose upon her face because she was always so angry and depressed. And it wasn't like she wore tight clothes like Lauren and her cousin, Rose, do, but her shorts and tee-shirt showed that she actually had a chest. And of course no other bloke would dare look at the shape of Lily's lips because no bloke would stick around to listen to her tell him off, which was shame because they were really…

"Do you ever wonder what would happen after we die?" Lily asked out of the blue. And of course, if any guy was ever thinking of Lily in those standards it was almost always ruined when she asked questions like the 'end of the world.'

"Sure, I have, but I would rather concentrate on the present rather than the future," I said, snapping away so she wouldn't catch me. "Why do you ask? That was random."

"I don't know. Your brother was talking to me about it on the way to Hogwarts and it just popped into my mind. It just got me thinking like where I'll end up, what will happen, and well, everything we have defined and what we have thought that would exist forever would suddenly all just disappear. I mean we can't have all the answers, can we?" She asked.

"You ask some serious questions there, L.P." I said, "But come on," I jumped off the bed, "Want to play some one-on-one Quidditch and sneak to Hogsmeade for some snacks after?"

Lily brightened. "Just like old times." I held out my hand for her so I can pull her off my bed. She looked at it for a moment and took it as I hauled her off the bed. Her hand was surprisingly warm and soft. It seemed like it would be rough for some reason.

I immediately dropped her hand once we got to the door and snaked my arm through hers instead. It was one thing to notice things about your best friend, but to lead them on was another thing. I liked the idea of being with Lily, but I wouldn't risk our friendship on anything; that was more important.

I arrived back to my dorm room completely worn out from tonight's adventure. Lily had beaten me for the billionth time in Quidditch. I wasn't bothered by it because I beat her in practically everything else. And it was fun as we sat in the Three Broomsticks, talking for hours about random stuff. There was no thing we talked about that ever got old or awkward.

I was too exhausted to change so I got in bed with my clothes still on. As I began to fall asleep, the faint smell of Lily filled my nostrils from where she had laid earlier. I know I shouldn't feel this sort of weird attraction toward her because she was my friend and because I was with Lauren, but it was simply not ignored like it once was.

And thus, she was right again. Love was complicated.

A/N: Hmmm…