Torn
Chapter 25
Weeks Later
(Listen to Are we there yet.? By Ingrid Mitchealson.)
(It was good talking about everything. I think we should keep going back. What do you think.?) Lucas asked. Looking over at Brooke.
Brooke looked back at him. (It was a relief in a way. Not having to keep holding in how we were feeling. Between the two of us. We tend to try and protect each other. Wanting to make sure we don't hurt each other.) Brooke said.
(Which is what we've always done but now. Everything is different. We are shells of the people we were. Before work, money, status. Was an aspect of life I cared way too much about. I'm almost embarrassed about how much value other people's thoughts and options have had over my life. )
(At this point it all seems so meaningless. And pointless. I need to re evaluate and find my love for fashion again. I don't know who I am anymore. If I'm even enough.) Brooke said. Looking back at him.
Lucas took her hand in his.
The couple were in their home. Sitting beside each other.
(In what ways do you think you're not enough.? I agree the things and ideas we once valued don't seem to matter at all. But in time and if we are willing to do the work. Maybe we will get to some kind of closure.) Lucas said.
(That would be nice I don't think closure exist no matter what happens next he'll still be gone. And nothing will ever make that pain go away. I'm not enough in every way. Not strong enough, smart enough, or I don't feel beautiful, pretty, or anything close to it. ) Brooke admitted. Looking to him.
He leaned over cupping her face with his hand.
Their eyes locked on each other.
(You want to know what I see when I look at you.?) Lucas asked.
Brooke shook,her head in agreement.
(You are fearless, have the biggest heart, handle everything with strength and grace. You are the woman I love and who I couldn't handle going through this without. Only we know how much this hurts and how this has changed our life. You are the woman I love and the only person I want to spend my life with.) Lucas said. Looking to her.
(You are so beautiful. I love you so much.) He said.
Brooke looked to him. (I love you too even more.) She said. Leaning over kissing him.
He kissed her back. Taking her in his arms.
Brooke broke the kiss. Looking to him.
(I love you, you love me, but I just can't do this.) Brooke said.
(What's wrong with me.? You've been amazing, incredible, supporting me in any way possible while dealing with your own grief and pain. Yet I keep this wall up between us. I don't want it there. I'm sorry. ) She said. Stepping away from him. Wiping her eyes.
(There is nothing wrong with you. We are both trying to deal with this. It's going to take time and how we handle this will be at our own pace. We've gone through alot you especially. I love you. I'm not going to push you into anything you don't want. It's okay.) Lucas said. Trying to reassure her.
(No it's not Lucas it's been weeks we've barely touched each other. Before we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Now there is this disconnect and I'm scared. That I don't know know how to fix this. And if it keeps going on what will that mean for us.) Brooke said. With emotion in her voice.
Lucas took her hand in his.
(Nothing is going to change with us. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're safe with me in every way possible.) Lucas said. Looking to her.
(You've got a draft to work on and I have to sketch. I'll leave you to that.) Brooke said. As she walked out of the living room.
He watched her go unsure of what to say or do.
...
Sometime Later
(This is honest, personal, and haunting. The readers will devour this. I heard about everything that happened. I wanted to reach out but it didn't feel like the right time. I can't imagine what you've been dealing with its a living nightmare. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can for you.?)Lindsay asked. Looking up at him.
(There isn't. Our family and friends have been dropping everything and anything to be there for us. And thank you. I'm glad you like the draft. It's comforting to put some feelings into my writing. Brooke and I are handling things in our way.) Lucas said. Looking back at her.
She put her hand on his. (I'm here for you. Just reach out to me. And I'll be there.) Lindsay said. Looking to him.
(I'll keep that in mind.) Lucas said. Removing his hand from hers.
Lindsay left the office minutes later.
Lucas refocused his attention to his computer. Opened the untitled folder and began to read.
Dear world my name is Eli Henry Scott.
I'm five.
I like basketball, cooking and baking with my momma and grandma Karen.
I like camping and taking walks with my daddy on the walking trails.
My best friends are Jamie, Lydia, and Gregory
Today my teacher asked us what we want to be when we grow up.
And that was a hard question to answer because I have so many cool examples to choose from.
If I had to choose I pick my momma and my daddy. I want to be just like them. Why.? Because their my heroes.
Lucas felt tears well up in his eyes.
He closed the folder and labeled it.
Eli Scott.
...