Black Gold by Esperanza Spalding

Think of all the strength you have in you,
From the blood you carry within you.

Arena Day Six

Harlan Pearce, 12, District Eleven

I've decided that I should just stop getting comfortable. Whenever I end up settling down and feeling like I belong in a group of people that I have learned to care about, something always goes wrong.

I hate that I am mourning my family again. I should be over that by now, I mean it's been a long enough time. I didn't think about them near as much when I was in District Eleven even when I had the time to. I knew that all I should be focusing on is survival and that is what probably saved me from starving to death like so many of the other street kids.

So why isn't it that simple now?

I was able to blame someone for my parents' deaths when it happened. I never actually saw them die, but I am fairly certain that they did and just as certain who caused it. Maybe that's the difference. This time it's more difficult to blame someone else when the common denominator in both cases was me.

I know that I could have done something to save at least one of my friends. I should have yelled out. I should have risked giving myself away to give them those few seconds to make a break for it. That was all Carina would have needed was a couple more seconds until she would have disappeared into the forest and hidden herself from the attackers. Who knows, I could have even saved all three of them. I can't be sure that it would have worked but the fact that I didn't even try makes me feel like even more of a coward.

All of this makes me think back to the little bits that I remember before my parents were taken from me. Was there something I should have done there as well? Could I have helped them too? Would they still be here if I had made a decision a little bit faster?

I collapse at the trunk of a tree, a new wave of sobs washing over me. I don't know how to be alone anymore. I let go of all of that when I met people who didn't turn their backs at the sight of me. I let myself accept the fact that it wouldn't just be me against the world anymore and now it's all come crashing back down around me. The loneliness was familiar, but now it has hit me like a vengeful stranger.

My body still quakes as I find the ability to sit myself up once again. I feel lost without Carina, Flint, and Kyra; they were my family even if I only knew them for a very short period of time. They reminded me that I am not just the dirty, begging street child, even without knowing that that part of me existed. It was so easy with them and now I am alone. I don't think it has ever hurt this much to realize how alone I am.

I feel the barrel of the gun digging into my side. Tears collect once again in my eyelids at the thought that I have one of these awful things in my grip. I haven't even allowed myself to look at it since that night. It terrifies me, the power that this small gun possesses.

I shot it at someone. That instance stands out so vividly in my mind and it's the very reason that I know I have to get rid of the thing. For just that one single second I hoped that the bullet would find one of the attackers in the dark. I hoped that it would rip through them as punishment for what they did to my little family. I hoped to hear them cry out in pain and collapse on the ground.

Maybe it was only for a second, but in that moment I lost myself. The strength of my grief and the power of the gun in my hands made me forget that none of the other people in this place deserve to be hurt no matter what they have done. Something made me forget that and I cannot let it happen again. I will not be the one to take away someone else's family because I know how much it can destroy someone.

I turn around and begin to dig, shoving my nails under the dirt until a small dent in the earth begins to grow. I can feel the weight of the gun in my pocket, and a small area of my mind wonders why I wouldn't keep it. I shake my head to try and remove the thoughts. It just isn't me to wield a weapon. I know that people sometimes react with violence when something has been taken from them, but that was never me. I saw the other kids join gangs and get into unspeakable things but I have always known that would never be me.

As soon as the divot is deep enough I reach into my pocket and take out the gun. For a brief moment I turn it over in my hands and it doesn't even look dangerous. A second later I think of the gunshot and the sound of Carina's footsteps stopping. I drop the gun into the hole and wipe my hands on the grass beside me.

I begin to move the dirt back over to cover the weapon. Once I can no longer see the dim metal sticking out from the dirt, my heart begins to race. Without the gun I now have no way to protect myself. I am a sitting duck for whoever I will come across next, and yet I feel better knowing that it won't be me that has to choose between preserving a life and causing a death.

Adriel Maynard, 17, District Five

I've come to the realization that I might have made a mistake in sticking with Danican after Jonah's death. My understanding of the pair was that both contributed equally to the trap-making capabilities, but I'm afraid I might have been wrong about that.

"Hey, could you give me a hand?" I hear Danican call over to me. I made sure that the two of us were up bright and early so that we could finally get started on this long overdue project. Unfortunately for him, I know little to nothing about the practice and don't really feel like looking inferior to him in any fashion either way.

"Sorry," I exclaim, quickly busying myself with packing up one of the backpacks. "I wish I could but I just noticed how low we are on food and I'm about to go see about finding more. I'm sure you can handle it yourself anyways, right?"

I hear a grunt and something heavy drop before I get my response. "Sure, I guess."

"Perfect!" I call back. "I won't be gone long, just try and finish up this one and if you do then move away twenty more feet before starting the next one."

"Alright," he grunts back.

I roll my eyes and continue putting a few more things in the backpack. I should have the right mind to leave him now that he has proven far more useless than I expected. Just the fact that I was sort of lied to about his capabilities gives me enough ground to abandon him altogether. I know I probably won't do it, but it feels good to remind myself that I have every reason in the world to be frustrated with this situation.

Yesterday I am proud that I was so understanding about what happened. I didn't push Danican, well not anymore than I deemed necessary, and I let him mourn his little friend. Honestly, it took quite a bit out of me to pretend to care that much about Jonah in the first place. I think I deserve a prize for that performance at least.

Don't get me wrong I'm not happy that he was killed, not in the least bit. I simply did not build the same sort of connection with him that Danican seems to have. I've never really had friends my age since I was much younger, and for that I am almost glad. I'm not going to be an emotional wreck when one of my allies dies because they were no more meaningful to me than an inanimate resource. That is how I have rewired my brain to think of people, and I don't think anyone can tell me that that is a bad thing right now.

I dip out of the clearing that we have made temporary camp in so that we could set the traps. Thinking back, it really wasn't wise of us to stay in one place for such a long time, and I am glad that I made the executive decision to leave it behind. Not only will it ensure we do not make ourselves too comfortable, but it also helps Danican to put Jonah out of his mind.

Stupid Jonah, if only he had listened to me in the first place one of us could have already been out of this hell hole.

I kick the ground as I stop to take a breather. I hate that things worked out the way they did. Why couldn't it have been switched, with Jonah being the useless sidekick and Danican had all the knowledge we need. I hate to think it, but the strategic part of me can't help but wish that Jonah was still here. It would be better for my game if I had someone around that was worth working to control.

I shake my head of the thoughts, knowing that it is impossible to change what has already happened. If I am going to come out victorious, I have to work on the present and decide what I need to do to survive right now.

Is it worth staying with Danican? Would I be better off alone?

Unfortunately the answer to both of these questions is no. I can't rationalize that staying with Danican is useful for my survival nor can I tell myself that I would be able to do this more easily if I were alone.

I kick the ground again. It's frustrating to be stuck between two unwanted options. I don't want to be alone and it's not beneficial for me to be alone just yet. However, I am not sure how long that I can bear pretending that Danican is actually helping either of us.

Santana Belmont, 16, District Two

"Stop yelling, Connor," I hiss, but today especially Connor is not having any of it.

He puts both hands on my shoulders and shoves me backwards. I cry out in surprise and stumble a few steps before catching my hand on a tree trunk. He stares at me from a few feet away, his eyes full of crazed hatred. "Don't tell me what to do!"

"I shouldn't have to," I spit, getting ready to lunge for him. Venice grabs my arm at the last second and it's just enough to keep me from reaching him. Connor has lost his mind, and he needs a good kick in the ass to bring him back to this planet. I thought yesterday had been the worst of it, but evidently it wasn't.

Venice steps between us, his face almost completely calm save for his eyes which give away his fear. "Stop it, come on. We're a team there is no need to fight each other."

"Then tell him to stop picking a fight," I huff, unable to stop myself. I have no idea what happened to Connor, but every little thing seems to set him off. Yesterday Venice told him to keep his voice down and Connor has been yelling ever since, claiming he isn't scared of bringing the others to us.

Now I am in full agreement that we shouldn't fear a confrontation, but that in no way means we need to set one up for them. He's losing his mind and I'm losing my patience for it. I've dealt with trauma before, which is what I assume is causing the change in Connor, but never when it put my life in danger. I can't afford to have any tolerance for that and at least when we're fighting he shuts his mouth a bit longer.

"Don't test me, neither of you."

The change in his voice is nothing short of bone chilling. All of the anger has vanished, replaced by something I can't even put a name to. When I look up, the first thing I see is the fear written across Venice's face. The second is Connor pointing his gun right at Venice's chest.

My body is trembling when I take a step forward, my hand halfway out in front of me when Connor's gaze shifts to me. "Don't move. I'm not joking around anymore."

"What are you doing?" The words come out with more hurt than I am even allowing myself to feel right now. Even though I am fairly sure that he is not actually going to shoot us, I halt my movements as he said.

"You were going to do this to me eventually," he says through gritted teeth. "Always against me and for each other, it couldn't have been long now. I'm just beating you to it."

"Connor, what are you talking about," Venice says with a shaky voice. He is only half turned towards Connor, his entire body trembling. My eyes go once more to the barrel of the gun and Connor's finger lightly wrapped around the trigger.

In that second I make a choice. With Connor's attention momentarily on Venice, I launch myself at Connor with all of my body weight. My hands scramble for the gun the second I make impact, and thankfully I find it and snatch it out of his grip.

His arms push me off of him and he kneels over me, grappling for the gun. I roll over, momentarily hiding it under my body, but a second later I am face to face with him. I have never been more frightened in my life, especially when looking at someone that I should have little to fear from. A second later we lock gazes, and just the look in his eyes tells me that I am no longer dealing with the Connor that traveled here with me from District Two.

The sound of the gunshot is deafening, and as soon as I hear it I throw the gun over my head as far as I can. I roll out of the way just seconds before Connor collapses on the ground where I just was. I am able to see just a one second glance of the bullet hole in Connor's neck and just that is enough to make the trees go blurry around me. I turn and throw up onto the grass behind me.

"What did you do!?" Venice shouts, but his voice is groggy. I turn back and see him flipping Connor over, pressing his hands to his neck to feel for a pulse. I know there won't be one, not by the looks of where the bullet is buried.

"I'm sorry," I croak, dragging myself over to them.

When I am only a few feet away, Venice turns to me in disgust. "Get away from him!"

"I'm sorry," I say again, though I am not sure if the words even exited my lips at all.

Venice looks back down to Connor and then up at me again. "You killed him."

I don't know what else to say to make this right, maybe because there is nothing. I didn't mean to kill him. I really didn't, but he was going to get the gun back and maybe then he would have really shot Venice or myself. I couldn't let that happen, but oh my god he's right I killed him.

I move towards him again, but he jumps to his feet and backs away from me. "Get away from me."

"Venice," I say, but the word falls flat. I look again at Connor, my body beginning to tremble again even though I can no longer see the bullet hole in his throat.

"You're a monster," he says, the sound of his words bringing me close to tears. He takes a couple of steps towards the edge of the clearing, making it clear that he is going to leave me here, before he turns around and looks at me once again with disgust painted all over his features. "Unless you're going to try and kill me too."

I can do nothing more but shake my head and watch as he disappears behind the trees. I want to go after him, no, everything in me screams that I have to go after him but what more am I supposed to say.

Eileen Garreti, 17, District Eleven

The music begins to fade and I stare down at the ground. Even after all these nights it doesn't get any easier to see new faces in the sky. Tonight there was only one, and not one caused by myself, but the thought that someone as young as him is simply gone makes my heart ache just that little bit more.

"I don't understand it."

I look up and see August staring down at me, tears lacing his eyelids. Immediately my hand goes to his shoulder to offer what little comfort I can. What I have learned about August is that he is a deeply sensitive person, one of the many reasons I have chosen to hide much of my activities from him.

"What don't you understand?" I ask.

One tear slips down his face and his gaze turns to the sky as he does his best to blink back the others. "Why do new faces keep on going up each night? Who could keep doing this?"

I swallow thickly, choosing my words carefully before answering. "It's the game, August. People are desperate to make it out of here. Aren't you?"

"I want to go home," he admits. "But this... this is just barbaric."

I can feel my face heating up, but I try to suppress the pain that comes from his words. He just doesn't understand that sometime we don't get to choose what needs to be done.

"It's not us choosing to do it. It's what the Capitol wants."

There is a short pause and I know I have made a mistake. I haven't told August anything about the boy at the bloodbath or the girl from a couple of days ago. I couldn't bring myself to, especially knowing that this is how he would react. I hold my breath, hoping that he didn't catch my slip of the tongue.

"Us?"

When I bring myself to look back at his face, there is a mixture of confusion and concern as he waits for my answer. I want more than anything to just deny all of it, but the tears the follow seconds later betray me. Why can't he just know and understand? It isn't fair that I have to bear this alone, but I knew he wouldn't understand.

"August, let me explain," I say, half-choking on the words as they fall off of my tongue.

He doesn't even seem to have heard me, and his voice solidifies as he continues. "Why'd you say us? You're not like those people who killed the others. You don't hurt people, we don't hurt people, Eileen."

I want to tell him that everything he said is right but when I try to speak the only things that come out are sobs. Maybe it's the weight of what I have done pushing down on me or the pressure that these days have put on me. Maybe it's the force behind his words or the darkness of the night, but all I can do in response of his accusations is cry.

Suddenly he pulls himself away from me, looking down at me with hurt and disgust. "Eileen, what have you done?"

I manage to choke out a weak apology, but I'm not even sure that he is able to hear it. He takes one more look at me and suddenly he turns and darts off into the bushes. After a second of shock, I jump to my feet and follow him. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if I catch up to him, but that doesn't matter right now I just need to make sure he is safe.

As soon as I round a corner around one of the trees I hear a voice that stops me in my tracks. My hand goes immediately to my bow, pushing it in front me already loaded with an arrow pointed at him. "Oh look, here she comes."

My entire body is shaking and the edges of my vision are nothing but blurs. The only thing that I can see is a tall boy with his arm locked around August's throat, a knife in the other hand threateningly close to his skin.

"I thought I was going to have to go in and get you when you two went to sleep," he laughs in a low, mocking tone. "Turns out he just couldn't wait that long, could you?"

August's eyes are pinned on me, so wide and unmoving that I could swear he might already be dead. But no, his chest is still rising and I can see his body trembling. He's still alive and I don't know what to do to save him.

I raise my bow and point it at the boy's head, squinting to make sure that I don't miss should I need to shoot it. The boy smiles at me, a sight that makes every part of my body cringe.

"Are you really that confident in your aim?" He asks with mock sincerity. "I mean, one inch off and it's not my blood that will be on that arrow of yours."

I am not confident at all that I will miss August, but I know that I have to make this boy think that I am. Before training I had maybe seen a bow once in my life, and I am in no way willing to gamble for August's life even if it means an attempt at ending this kid's.

"Oh," he says, the smile on his face growing with every word that comes out of his mouth. "I wouldn't take too long deciding either, my partner Vera is somewhere around here and well let's just say that it's a lot easier to shoot a gun accurately."

I am momentarily distracted as my eyes wander around. I don't know who he is talking about or if she even exists, but I know that I have heard gunshot already in this place. I don't doubt that if this girl is real that she can put a bullet through me before I can even realize what happened.

That second of distraction must have been when the boy was waiting for, because all of a sudden I see him thrust August towards me and run in the opposite direction. I call out in surprise, shooting off my arrow just before he disappears through the trees.

I don't wait to see where my arrow lands, dropping to my knees beside August. The first thing I see is blood, and a lot of it. I turn him on his side and his arm jets out to grab mine. I can't help but gag when I see him. His face, neck, and chest are covered in so much blood that I can't even tell where it's coming from. I panic, wiping the blood from his neck trying to find where I need to put pressure to stop the bleeding.

Then all at once it seems like everything goes silent. The twitching of his body stills and his eyes stop frantically moving. As soon as I notice that the grip on my arm has loosened, I know that there is nothing else I can do for him.

August Overture, District Ten

Connor Leland, District Two

Song: Black Gold by Esperanza Spalding.

A/N: Wow this chapter is more than overdue. All I have to say is that things hit hard these past couple of weeks and I found that I was not able to write. Things have thankfully settled down, and I hope that there won't be any more of these little breaks before the end of this story.

I'd like to say a big apology to Tyler and Remus, this chapter was a very difficult one simply because I had to set up some later plots and that meant that alliance dynamics had to change. Unfortunately that meant that Connor and August had to see their ends a bit early. Believe me, though, when I say that I love writing both of them and will miss them dearly.

What else? I think that is it actually. I've been very pleasantly surprised by the dedication that reviewers have had to this story. There aren't that many of you, but you are all appreciated!

What plots do you foresee for the remaining tributes?

Which death so far has been your favourite (I mean the scene, not the tribute dying necessarily)?

I have just started my new term in school, but I have plenty of time to write because I have so few courses for the next four months. Hopefully that means faster updates? I'd like to think that it will!