Chapter 24
Jean watched her from afar as Rogue made her way cautiously over to Logan's bedside. The young girl swallowed hard as she observed Logan's unconscious form laying motionless upon the cold, hard medical table, biting back the fear which threatened to consume her as the gentle rise and fall of Logan's chest and ribcage was the only small indication that he was even still alive.
The heart monitor he was hooked up to kept a constant vidual over his heart rate and respirations with a steady rhythmic beat, and the oxygen mask covering his mouth and nose ensured that he was supplied with a consistent flow of highly oxygenated air.
Rogue touched him delicately on the shoulder as she approached and the cold leather of the gloves which she wore to cover the potent touch of the skin on her fingers throughout all hours of the days and night sent an icy shiver though Logan's warm and clammy body with this, and he stirred but did not awake.
"Logan…" Rogue whispered gently, bending down beside him as she spoke. Her sweet breath caressed his fevered and slightly flushed cheeks as she did so however and he let out a small groan as though even this slight contact brought on another wave of pain.
"Logan, it's me, Rogue, can you hear me?" She asked as she gently stroked the stray strands of his damp brown hair, limp with sweat and cool perspiration, away from his forehead. He shifted in his state of semi-consciousness, involuntarily rolling onto his side and letting out a strangled sob of pain as he resulted in putting too much pressure on his still tender abdomen as he did so.
Rogue observed his slightly bloodied bandages, the carefully placed IV line feeding a steady drip of saline and a cocktail of drugs into a vein in the back of his hand.
She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do… what she was supposed to say. All she'd been able to think about over the past few days had been Logan, that she'd had to find a way to convince the Professor and Jean to allow her to see him, that she'd needed reassurance that he was going to be alright… now however as she looked down at him before her, looking so pale and evidently so ill she felt completely out of her depth.
She turned back to Jean for reassurance only to find that the medical room door had closed behind her as she'd entered, leaving just herself and the unconscious Logan inside… Jean must have remained on the opposite side of the electronic sliding panel, outside in the corridor… Rogue now felt totally alone.
"Logan…" She pressed, turning back to face him, her southern tone soft and wavering slightly with suppressed emotion, although she managed to keep a steady handle of her fraught nerves. "Logan…"
With this Logan began to stir at the sound of the young girl's voice. He emitted another deep and muffled sigh as he slowly opened his eyes, and groaned as the sharp light of the nearby lamp stung his retinas. As his blurred and hazy vision finally began to clear however and Rogue's slender figure came into view before him he blinked away his weariness, a bemused frown etched into his pale features.
"Hey kid." He smiled weakly with a small sigh at this, recognition slowly dawning on him. Her big beautiful eyes bore into him searchingly, glistening in the light of the room.
"Hey," She grinned, looking anxiously down at him as she took in every minute detail of his pasty expression, from this distance, still tinged with a thin sheen of sweat.
Logan too looked up at Rogue anxiously, the rhythmic rise and fall of his diaphragm and ribcage increasing slightly and becoming more erratic as the blissful ignorance of sleep began to wear off and his pain now gradually started to increase.
"What are you doing here?" He asked her.
"I had to see you." She explained meekly, before continuing slightly hesitantly. "How are you feeling?"
Logan sighed. "A little better." He replied with a small nod. "Hank's got me on some pretty strong pain meds which are taking the edge off the pain."
He groaned and adjusted his position slightly with this however. Rogue looked down at him with concern, disbelieving his words. She suspected that he was probably still in more pain than he was caring to let on, but managed to fight back her anxieties, remembering Jean's words. With this Logan reached up and grasped hold of one of her gloved hands, squeezing it gently and, sensing her distress, offering her a reassuring if not somewhat slightly weak wink.
She forced a smile.
They remained in this position for a few moments longer, each seeking consolation and reassurance in the other's presence; Logan in the company and friendship of the young woman, and Rogue in the fact that he was at least for now holding up – when finally Logan shattered the comforting silence between them.
"How are the other students?" He asked.
Rogue nodded, withdrawing her hand gently from his grasp as she did so. "They're fine." She responded. "They're all worried about you though… we're missing your sessions in the danger room." She faltered. "Let's just say that Scott and Storm's lack your element of danger. I never thought I could miss hard work so much."
Logan returned the gesture warmly, grimacing slightly however as his most recent dose of pain medication began to wear off. "You just let them know to make the most of it, I'll be back with them soon." He reassured her. "Don't let them give up on the practice sessions."
He was suddenly overcome with a weak and wracking cough which ceased his diaphragm and ribcage however, his breath coming out in a series of short, shallow, raspy breaths.
"I won't." She promised, placing a gentle finger against his lips to stifle his words and silence him gently, waiting patiently for the fit to ease, disguising her anxiety before continuing. "But not until you're completely recovered…" She eased. "You need to focus on getting better first, you haven't been yourself in such a long time. I know you've tried to hide it, but we've all noticed."
He chuckled warmly, rubbing at the bandages still swathed around his abdomen. "I guess I'm just getting old." He responded.
"Never." She smiled, shaking her head, taking him by the hand, and rubbing the back of the cold limb affectionately with her palm. It was her turn now to have to reassure him, attempting to offer him at least some comfort by this small gesture. "You just need to rest."
At this the doors to the infirmary slid open however, disrupting the conversation, and Rogue immediately looked over to see who it was who had entered, noticing as she did so Jean, standing in the doorway. The young redhead smiled as her eyes met with the young girl's across the room.
"I think it's time to let Logan get some rest now." She advised her kindly, and Rogue nodded, immediately returning the gesture as she turned back to Logan.
"I'll see you soon." She promised, getting to her feet from where she'd perched herself precariously on one of the nearby stools near Logan's bed, stretching as her stiff and aching muscles and joints slotted painfully back into place. "Just promise me you'll concentrate on getting better." She urged him, as she turned to leave and Logan let out a weak sigh in understanding.
Jean smiled at the young girl as she made her way over, stopping and turning to address her as Rogue passed her on her way out of the infirmary. "Well done." She smiled, squeezing her gently on the shoulder as she did so. "I'll be up later if you want to talk." She offered.
Rogue nodded, the young redhead observing her route quietly as she watched the young girl go, before finally, turning back to Logan.
"How's the pain?" Jean asked, with a knowing glint in her eye once Rogue had left the room.
"Bad." He confessed, rolling over slightly onto his side and rubbing at his abdomen tentatively… at least now that Rogue was gone he didn't have to worry about keeping up the act any longer, and he sighed.
Jean nodded in understanding, making her way around to the end of his bed to take a closer look at his more recent medical records. She didn't have to be telepathic to tell that he was obviously suffering greatly, she could tell by the pained look in his eyes, and the agonised grimace carved into his forced expression. She'd seen from a distance his pale complexion, tinged with grey, the thin sheen of sweat beginning to prickle on his forehead, and his increased respirations with the erratic rise and fall of his chest and ribcage.
She read through both her own and Hank's comprehensive notes in the chart carefully, taking in the long list of most recent medications administered, the various battery of tests which had been ordered and carried out over the past twenty-four hours, and their resulting finds and his vital signs. Finally, when she was eventually satisfied she replaced the chart and looked back over at Logan.
"Hank wants to take a look at you first." She informed him gently. "I'll let him know that you're in pain… do you think you can hold on until then?" She asked, her soft effeminate features hardened with worry lines and an anxiety which she was finding increasingly difficult to conceal.
Logan nodded weakly, closing his eyes again wearily as a fresh wave of exhaustion enveloped him, threatening to take hold. He could barely register or concentrate on anything for very long outside of his immediate haze of pain at the moment.
"Just keep holding on in there Logan." Jean sighed wistfully, looking on down at him with love and compassion oozing from her deep brown eyes, and squeezing his nearest leg reassuringly beneath the sheets.
"I'm holding on for you." He whispered, speech slightly slurred as he began to slip into yet another state of restless and troubled sleep, broken inevitably only by the excruciating and unbearable height of his pain.