A/n: It's been four or so months of this and I've already got this much done…
I don't know whether to feel accomplished… or spooked…
XXX
"My mother isn't… evil?" Raven whispered, staring at the floor wide-eyed. "It was all… just a trick? One big act?"
"You married Faybelle." Apple stated in betrayal.
"…And so once again I'd like to point out that a token marriage does not hold the same meaning as a regular marriage. There is no love between Faybelle and I, it's just a symbolic contract that exchanges a title for return of a family's honor." Raven pointed out.
"Still why didn't you tell me-… never mind, I guess you did have good cause not to tell me but I'm still not happy about this. Like at all." Apple crossed her arms and sulked. "I am definitely not going through with my fairytale now."
Raven winced. "Please don't say that to Faybelle… she doesn't exactly know about you having second thoughts and I'd rather she not know that I kept that from her."
Apple smirked, satisfied by this news. "Don't worry Raven, when the time comes, Faybelle won't know what hit her." The princess stated cryptically. "At the very least you are finally free of the Evil Queen title, and you will be getting your honor back… though I still wish that you had told me about your kingdom's problems sooner."
Raven looked down guiltily to her swinging legs over the side of Apple's bed. "Actually… all this time I thought that you knew at least about the hostile lords, and about my grandmother being ill, seeing as how our enemy's actions have never been exactly publically civil towards us, and it is common knowledge that my grandmother had been poisoned, it wasn't until recently that I found out that you actually knew nothing at all about our predicament but by then I was already in a contract with Faybelle and we needed to keep all of this a secret until enough ceremonies had been completed so that no one could legally dispute us… and at the time you were still adamant about me becoming the Evil Queen so…" The witch shrugged.
"I should have been informed about your kingdom's issues by either my tutors back home or my parents." Apple stated her eyes narrowed dangerously. "None of this has changed that; you are just as a big part of my life now as you had been when you were my future villain! As the future queen to the biggest, most influential kingdom in Ever After I should have been informed at an early age about the politics and the history surrounding your family and kingdom… I've been lied to yet again, and this time it really did lead to a situation that is… less than ideal." The princess fumed.
Apple turned her determined gaze to the witch. "Mark my words Raven; if I had been properly informed about even a little bit of this back when we first met… if I had not been lied to about how a future Evil Queen was supposed to act towards me, I would have never made your life so difficult those first few months that we had become roommates. I would have still wanted you to sign the Book, but I would have wanted to try to talk to you about your worries, helped you in whatever way I could, I would have never had hurt your feelings so much that it got to the point where you literally could not trust me with the knowledge of this contract."
Raven stared at the girl sitting next to her. "I thought that you would be furious after I told you all of this."
"Oh, I am angry." Apple confessed. "But I'm not angry at you, you are just doing what is best for your kingdom and family, there is nothing wrong with a ruler doing what is needed for the sake your people's wellbeing. My former tutors and parents however… I am very angry with them right now I just… I don't even know how I'll be able to look at them after this!"
"I'm sure that they only did what they had thought was best." Raven attempted to comfort the other.
"Yes but who were they trying to benefit with keeping me in the dark? Because it certainly wasn't for my sake." Apple demanded darkly, her glare trained on the floor as she gripped the witch's hand in her own.
Soft snoring coming from behind the two girls caused the two to turn as one to see a tiny dragon sprawled on it's back on the apple red comforter with it's little feet sticking up comically in the air.
"I didn't think that our topic of conversation was that boring." Raven murmured as she surveyed her slumbering pet dragon.
"Of course she'll find death threats, political marriages, and espionage boring." Apple pointed out. "She's still too young to understand any of it."
"How am I going to break the news to her that she currently has three owners?" The witch wondered.
"Three?" Apple queried.
"Well she's just as bonded to you as she is to me, I'd think that at least qualifies you for co-parenting rights." Raven hummed in thought.
"You'll like me better than mean old Faybelle won't you Nevermore." Apple cooed laying back and playing with the dragon's feet with her fingertips.
"Apple it's not a competition." Raven chastised.
"The heck it isn't!" Apple argued back. "This one will roll over for anybody who gives her food, I don't want that Faybelle to make her all fat with bribe treats!"
Raven scratched her nose. "Actually Nevermore is pretty picky about people she considers part of her horde, she's a sociable sweetheart most of the time but she still gets nervous if we are gone too long or if she's left alone with a stranger for a long length of time. She'd miss you quite a bit if she weren't able to see you."
"Really." The princess perked up. "One point for me~."
"This isn't a competition." Raven chastised again.
"Of course it isn't! Because Nevermore already loves me!" The princess squealed lifting the still unconscious and snoring dragon and cradling the creature in her arms.
Raven rolled her eyes, her attention soon drawn to the mirrorpad still clutched in her hands, as the princess continued to coddle the drowsy dragon the witch surveyed the contents.
"Um Apple?" The witch held up the computer, the photograph of her dancing displayed on the screen.
Apple blushed. "I can explain that." She assured.
XXX
"Oy vey… would this be classified as ironic or just a joke that the gods are playing on us?" Clawstorm grumbled as she laid out in her true form in her private dorm bath (she had a single room so she didn't have to necessarily worry about disguising herself to a roommate but she still only consciously lifted the glamour over her body while in the bath just in case).
Apple White had a thing for her daughter. It had to be ironic; after all, the girl's mother wholly despised Clawstorm and while the women were still in high school Snow White did not mince words about what she would do if any witchling of Clawstorm's even got near her future child.
Apple White, as far as Clawstorm could gather, was a sweet, well-meaning child who strived to keep the people she cared about safe in the best ways that she knew how. Sure she was pretty annoying in the beginning with her obsession about everything being perfect for her destiny but Clawstorm knew that most of that had to do with some pretty twisted up stuff that her mother must have told her about how Evil Queens were supposed to act. Recently, the witch was pleased to note, the young princess seemed to have calmed down considerably and had cast off her need to fit a perfect ideal all the time, making the girl completely tolerable.
The exact opposite of her mother, sweet ancestors, what had Snow White been thinking telling her daughter that poisoning maidens on a regular basis was normal and right for future Evil Queens to do? Did she want to give her kid a complex?
Not that Clawstorm minded that Apple White had a thing for Raven, in fact a part of her actually approved, Apple was after all a good kid and she obviously cared deeply for Raven's wellbeing, as far a suitors went Apple White was a fairly decent option.
Snow White however… if she was anything like the way she had been in the past then… who knew. It was a toss up between whether the woman would risk her daughter's ire by treating Raven like she used to treat Clawstorm… or if Snow White would not mind it as much and just reserve her venomous remarks to only be directed towards Clawstorm's name.
Really what had been the problem with that woman?
Clawstorm inhaled deeply. That did not matter now, what did matter was how long it would take Humphrey to translate the files proving her innocence and whether or not the Queen of Hearts deemed it necessary to hunt down the fugitives that were trapped in her realm.
Clawstorm made a mental note to check into that after she finished helping Blondie with her show tomorrow, and her interview with Tiny the giant about the benefits of meditation and deep contemplation.
Reluctantly the witch was starting to enjoy herself in her second run at high school.
And there was nothing wrong with that, best to enjoy it all while it lasted Clawstorm figured, because having a good high school experience was helping her to get over all the messed up crap that she had to deal with in the past. Which was something that she was immensely grateful for.
XXX
"And you are certain that the documents you just sent me speak the truth?" Faybelle asked Raven through the split screen of her phone.
"It was enough to convince the Queen of Hearts and Lizzie." Raven whispered so as to not alert a sleeping Apple in the next room, the witch made herself comfortable by sitting on the edge of the bathtub. "It still doesn't excuse her for crimes of mass terror, but it does exonerate her from the attempted genocide charge."
"Awful lot of trouble to go to just to trap some key enemy players in some foreign realms." Kitty murmured frustrated.
"Actually according to my mother's notes, fake poisoning Wonderland and the other realms was a last minute ditch effort to both help her capture her enemies and instill fear in new ones." Raven sighed. "She knew that she would be captured eventually and she hoped that our enemy would have dissolved their little group after a while, and that would be when she confessed the whole truth and reversed the spell."
There was a brief silence on the other end.
"Your mom's magic would have to be freakishly powerful to pull that off last minute, you know that right?" Kitty asked for clarification.
Raven bit her lip. "When my grandmother was three she accidentally turned the leaves of a fifty acre forest blue, to this day nobody knows how she did it, and my great grandmother somehow managed to ground her ghost to this plane for two weeks after she had been brutally murdered so that she could help her daughter set everything up to help make our people believe that she and her consort had perished in a freak accident and spook the king and prince of the sea kingdom to stop trade of the dessenti plant to most outsiders… it is very hard to say no to a ghost apparently."
Another brief silence stretched on.
"And the reason why you guys didn't reduce the neighboring hostile kingdoms into giant holes in the ground would be…. why?" Kitty asked.
Raven shrugged. "While the Queen lands have taken issue to the lords of those kingdoms, the common people to those lands actually have great relations with us and our people, it is often that the common people to our neighboring kingdoms cause trouble for our enemies by either sabotaging them or organizing mass protests against them and their rule. We have encouraged this by sending handsome contributions in aid to nonprofit organizations that distribute items that they themselves can no longer grow in their barren soil and we provide full school scholarships to the children of the farmers and the small businesses who do business with us."
"Thus turning their own people against them." Faybelle smirked. "Might I say that you look highly attractive right now?"
"But what about that whole Sleeping Beauty incident? Didn't your mother wake her up ninety three years too early?" Maddie asked. "Is there a method behind that madness?"
"According to this it says that Sleeping Beauty used to date one of the Queen clan's enemies." Faybelle surveyed her mirrorpad. "He got jealous that she would eventually wind up with somebody else so he had set out to actually kill her. Raven's mother got word of his plan and had little choice in the end but to awaken Sleeping Beauty and kill her ex-boyfriend out of self-defense when he tried to kill both women… Sleeping Beauty, being the bitch she tends to be, blamed Raven's mother for the attempted assassination and told my mother complete lies, starting the feud between the Thorn and The Queen clans, and thus effectively removing my mother as a potential ally to Raven's mother."
"Does that sound credible?" Raven asked.
"Unfortunately yes." Faybelle grumbled. "Sleeping Beauty… lets just say that the woman was never a very kind individual… We'll have to verify all of this of course."
"Yes we will." Raven agreed. "In the morning. I suddenly feel immensely exhausted."
XXX
"He's been different ever since he found out that the original Prince Charming digged people's corpses." Sparrow observed as he bit into his breakfast toast.
"He really has." Darling agreed and Dexter nodded.
"That's the sixth girl he's turned down today." One of the Merry Men murmured in awe.
"Should we be worried?" Sparrow asked.
"Only partly." Dexter figured. "While his holding off of dating all girls everywhere is a bit of a radical character change, and he has to see a therapist because his little adventure in the Book's memories left him completely traumatized… there has been some benefits to him acting so different than usual."
At Sparrow's confused look Dexter pointed his chin to where Daring came up to Briar, Cerise, and Raven as the three entered the cafeteria. Smiles lit up on the girl's faces as they greeted the boy and gestured for him to sit at their table.
"He never used to have close platonic friends who were girls… actually I don't think that he had many really close friends period." Dexter continued to explain. "Sure he may have hung out with a bunch of the other heroes but he never really got close to them. Or any of the girls that he's dated."
"It's true, the only people that he let get really close was us, his younger siblings, and it was still a rare day when we actually got to see any real emotion come out of him." Darling spoke around the straw of her morning smoothie.
"Huh." Was all that Sparrow could say on the matter.
"TIFANYYYYYYYYYYY!" A terrorized voice shrieked making half the cafeteria jump; outside the large windows the occupants of the table could see Edward being chased by a half turned honking and hissing Duchess Swan, the girl swirling a lasso of rope over her feathered head.
"Looks like someone tried to convince Duchess to take back her old destiny… again." Sparrow clicked his tongue in disapproval. "When will that boy ever learn?"
"Should we rescue him?" Dexter asked as he watched Edward dodge Duchess.
"Nah. I mean if we kept saving him every time he insulted either Duchess or Tiffany then how the hex is he supposed to learn that they don't want to conform to their old destinies?" Sparrow reasoned, pointing to Tiffany who had turned her nose up and away from Edward when the boy all but plastered himself to the window begging her to take her story back. "Granted he's taking a very long time to learn that lesson…"
The entire table winced once Duchess caught the boy.
"…On second thought we might have to stage an intervention." Sparrow winced yet again as they all watched as Edward ran around in circles with all of his arms tied around his back, and an enraged swan riding on his shoulders.
XXX
"What are your real intentions regarding Raven?" Apple demanded the moment Faybelle stepped out of her dorm Monday morning.
"And good morning to you too princess." Faybelle yawned tiredly. "I thought that things went well between you and my wife when she explained her situation to you?"
"I may agree that Raven is doing the most logical, smartest move with this deal she has with you, but that does not mean that I don't suspect that you have ulterior motives behind your ulterior motives." Apple spoke coldly. "Now tell me what it is that you really want with her."
"To claim her as mine, and to keep her as my bride." Faybelle admitted easily. "Raven has proven to be far more useful to me than as just a token wife, I would like to make her my main allied wife, or foreign chief wife as you humans are so fond of calling it, in both a companionable sense and in a far more intimate one if you can catch my drift." The fairy waggled her brows, her leering grin showing off her sharp teeth.
"You're in love with Raven?" Apple asked stunned.
"Hardly." Faybelle snorted rolling her eyes, honestly humans sometimes... "It's only been weeks since she ceased to be a threat in my eyes and we started this deal. Such strong feelings this early in the game would be far too much of a disadvantage for me."
"So you-… you're- you're just going to use her for your own personal gain?" Apple all but shrieked.
"But of course." Faybelle smiled serenely her slatted eyes like glittering black gems. "I am a hot-blooded fae after all, it is simply how my kind does things, a perfectly natural and healthy reaction to such a tantalizing maiden that has willingly landed herself as my territory."
"Not for long." Apple snarled viciously. "Once I tell Raven about this-"
"Raven already knows about my intentions towards her princess." Faybelle chuckled lightheartedly, leaning back against her closed dorm door. "Transparency is rather important for a married pair after all, and I have little need to worry about her freaking out as much as you are seeing as how Raven is a witch and therefore has been raised in a culture whose race often works and lives closely with mine. She's being kind by waiting until her personal pathetic romantic situation has made itself clear so that she doesn't use me as a rebound for getting over you, but sooner or later she very well may see things my way, after all it would only be to my benefit if she so decided to use me as a rebound. At least I know what I want and am not afraid to reach for it when I desire it, unlike a certain princess I know who is feeling a bit down about her fairytale being a lie."
"You…" Apple fumed stepping forward, her hands clenched threateningly into fists.
"Temper, temper, princess." Faybelle teased with a cheeky grin. "I'm just saying that perhaps Raven would prefer to occupy the bed of someone who wasn't so indecisive about what may be the right or wrong path to take in life. I know what is good for me, I know what will make me happy, and I find a certain level of enjoyment sharing that same satisfaction of being free enough to choose what I really want in life with others of the same mind. Now tell me princess; at this point in time can you really say that you are strong enough to finally choose between what would make you happy and your commitments to your fairytale lie? If not princess then I must solemnly inform you that you've ran out of time."
Apple stopped breathing for a moment. "How did you know that I was-?"
"Raven isn't the only one who can read faces and body language." Faybelle shrugged lightly, smiling serenely.
"You're wrong." Apple glared defiantly. "There is still some time left for me to decide, and I will not give up on Raven, she's too precious for me to ever give up on her!"
"My, my, and here I thought that I would be making you cry by the end of this conversation." Faybelle hummed in what sounded like pleased surprise. "Just keep in mind princess; I have full intentions of fulfilling both my roles as an Evil Fairy and an Evil Queen if I can't poison or curse either you or Briar then somebody else will have to do, and I have a very strong feeling that I will be poisoning and cursing somebody eventually."
"Whatever the future may hold, I'm not going to let you have Raven so easily." Apple vowed.
"Well good." Faybelle grinned in excited delight, the way her facial features showed off her teeth reminding Apple that despite initial appearances the fairy was far from human. "It would have been dreadfully boring if you did not present some sort of challenge for me to play with."
"I swear that there is something wrong with you." Apple grumbled tiredly.
XXX
"Those of you who can wield magic of their own, remember that learning academic magic isn't about channeling the power that you have been born with; it's about learning to take the magic that surrounds you every day and bending it using the natural resistance that your bodies have built up against it." Professor Maid Marion barked out as she surveyed her (troops) students. "Today I want you all to focus on forming the simple flash and bang spells that we reviewed yesterday. Line up according to last names and get going!"
Milton watched from just inside the tree line to the forest as Miss Queen (or should he try to silently refer to her as his granddaughter just to help the idea sink in?) drew magic out of the surrounding air and began shaping her spell. In the weeks since the new quarter started the girl had been adapting well to both academic magics and witch magics in her new (non-evil) classes.
He was proud of her for her achievements (not that she would appreciate it much but still).
"You've been stalling brother." Giles pointed out appearing behind Milton.
"It takes time to gather intel discreetly these days, and Clawstorm refuses to speak to me, she just stands there out in the distance and glares at me whenever I come in to try to talk to her, I swear she hasn't moved a muscle in weeks! I'm actually starting to get worried that she glared so hard at me one day and all of her muscles just froze up on her!" Milton bit his knuckle at the thought.
"Or… it could be that her dress makes it difficult for her to move around…" Giles supplied in the same tone one would use for talking to a dimwitted individual. "But our efforts in trying to figure out the full scope on the situation in the Queen realm is not what I was talking about."
"You read Elenore's letter too." Milton pouted sulkily.
"She told you that if it weren't for certain circumstances that could have put you in danger she would have gleefully wacked you over the head and told you that you were a father ages back when she was still pregnant with Clawstorm, and then proceeded to make your life hell for breaking her heart by dragging you into fatherhood whether you liked it or not!" Giles hissed out exasperatedly. "In Elenore-speak that practically screams that she doesn't completely hate you and if the situation were different she would have given you a chance to at least know and help raise your daughter! Doesn't it just itch not knowing what kept Elenore, the Elenore Queen, so worried that she steered clear of something that she had actually wanted, mainly you taking responsibility for your kid?"
"She asked that I keep clear until the threat was gone." Milton looked down. "What am I supposed to do in the face of that?"
"Calculate just how many years leaving you out of the loop has worked out and how much time and potential the two of you lost together and say to heck with complying to that nonsense." Giles stated flatly making his brother look at him in surprise.
"You think that you're the only one who misses Elenore?" Giles demanded. "You may have been her lover brother, but she used to be my very best friend aside from you, the day that she left without a word my heart nearly shattered, and now suddenly I've got a niece and grandniece who are obviously in some kind of danger and I at least am not going to sit around and wait cluelessly as to whether or not things will get resolved in my lifetime."
Milton winced guiltily. "I remember how much you adored her, and how sad you were when she left and I wasn't helping matters any at the time…"
"But she's still somebody who I look up to, and I want to help protect her and my newly discovered nieces. And who knows maybe we'll all survive this and I get to actually be an uncle for the next several decades or so of my life, which would be fantastic considering that I have absolutely zero interest in reproducing and yet I would still get to enjoy the thrills of a thriving growing family… albeit a complicated one but really since when was life ever so cut and dry?" Giles put his hands on his hips.
"But our intelligence so far indicates that I might have unwittingly gave their enemies a helping hand! And have you forgotten that Clawstorm revealed that new guy tried to-… he tried to kill my granddaughter because she had formed a connection to the Book of Legends and he did not…" Milton gestured to Raven who was focusing on the ball of light forming between her henna decorated hands. "And speaking of Clawstorm, it was I, not us, that drove her to… whatever insanity that made her think that poisoning those worlds was a good idea!"
"Yeah and just how do you plan on making things better?" Giles demanded. "You can't amend for your mistakes by just sitting around hopelessly remembering the past Milton." The younger man chided.
Milton looked over to the training lawn, his granddaughter had spotted himself and his brother, Raven Queen peered at the two old men with furrowed brows of what he suspected to be suspicion.
Giles immediately grinned jovially and waved merrily at the witch, who awkwardly waved back.
"Do you suppose that she'd at least ever forgive me for what I've done?" Milton asked.
"You'll have to ask her for that answer brother, though with Raven I've observed that actions speak louder than words as far as she's concerned. The very best thing that you could do for her is to decide on an action to take in this instance and go for it… and also actually attempting to get in contact with Elenore so that the two of you can finally have that little chat face to face would help things greatly. It's obvious that Elenore may not be very happy with you but at least she doesn't seem mad enough to turn you into a gecko." Giles advised serenely.
"Gee brother, you have such a way with words…" Milton grumbled dryly, the image of him crawling around as a chubby little gecko would now surely haunt him until he got up the nerve to do what his brother advised and saw for himself what Elenore and the rest of her family would do to him.
XXX
"I swear that those two are up to something, if it were just Giles I wouldn't be nearly as concerned but my instincts tell me that something significant is going down because I keep catching glimpses of the Headmaster in my everyday life too and that is… both very creepy and very out of character." Raven ranted as she sliced up the ingredients needed for making sushi (the witch found it extremely odd that the village did not have a designated sushi bar by now because of the way most people ranted and raved about the exotic dish. Such establishments were very popular in her home kingdom and tended to be owned by the descendants of foreign witch merchants who had immigrated to the Queen lands to set up a permanent base where their families from across the sea could conduct business more easily with a permanent address to send messages and orders to and from).
Faybelle hummed resting her chin on the witch's shoulder and squeezing her arms wrapped around Raven's waist a little tighter. "They have probably deduced that something major is going on and they are worried about being left out in the dark about it."
"Maybe you should consider telling them what's going on." Apple, who was (glaring at Faybelle) leaning against the dorm kitchen counter, suggested. "I mean they're going to find out eventually and the Grimm brothers have a great deal of pull over all of Ever After, they'd make fantastic allies for you and I'd highly doubt that they would just leave you to the wolves on a serious matter such as this."
"That may be true." Raven admitted. "But the Headmaster all but flipped his lid when he first saw the nose piercing and my tattoos, if he were to find out about me giving up my title… if the news didn't end up killing him he might very well turn into more of a hindrance than a helping hand. You know how he's got a tin ear to any explanations that I give him about why I couldn't become the Evil Queen, and besides I would like to stay at Ever After High for as long as I can, when the Headmaster finds out the Thorn Clan will transfer me to Hathor Witch Academy faster than a reprimand can leave the Headmaster's mouth! Regardless of whether or not he and Giles decide to be useful to us."
"My family is keen on moving Raven to a school where they have more influence. Ever After High, although a home away from home and a safe place for all of us to prepare for our futures, is far too neutral for my mother and aunt's tastes. Hathor Academy not only owes the Thorn Clan a great debt for our generous contributions but Raven also has lots of extended family members currently enrolled on campus, many of whom are the future rulers to their own kingdoms and have expressed their concern over Raven's wellbeing, as well as the wellbeing of their ancestral home." Faybelle explained to the princess.
"It has been years since I've seen my cousins face to face." Raven murmured distractedly. "And my grandmother more or less works there too, but I'd still miss all of you guys and… well a lot of my friends here have become… sort-of family to me, I don't necessarily want to give that up so soon."
"I don't want that outcome either." Apple assured. "I'd miss you and Nevermore way too much! Though if and when that does happen tell whatever roommate that you may get to expect me to be coming over to stay for like, every weekend, because that's exactly what I'm going to do."
"She'd be placed in a special marriage suite or hut so that her spouse, which is me, can visit her whenever I want." Faybelle growled, her eyes narrowing at the princess.
"Then we will be seeing each other more often than either one of us would like." Apple shrugged. "According to the books I've read on fairy law, I am your princess now, therefore your property through the marriage you have with Raven, therefore as your co-owned property I have the right to be with Raven if I so chose."
"Why does it feel like I married two women instead of just one?" Raven asked the ceiling.
"Well, as a future queen to a witch realm you are allowed to marry more than one person. At least that's what the law books say, I'm still learning about all the fascinating loopholes that come with your society and the topic of matrimony Raven." Apple smirked smugly at Faybelle.
"Hoping to start a harem to keep Daring happy princess, for when you marry him?" Faybelle hissed.
"You two do realize that you'll have to reach some form of common ground eventually since the both of you are big parts of my life right?" Raven sighed irritably. "I am nowhere close to having the ability of my grandmother's talent of making magical clones of myself if I need to be in two places at the same time so that I can simply spend time with both of you at the same time in separate rooms."
"You lost me at learning how to clone yourself into several copies and all of your clones spending quality time with me." Faybelle breathed huskily into the witch's ear.
Raven valiantly did not let herself be distracted by the fairy. "Apple why are you blushing and why are you staring at me like that?" The witch asked the princess completely oblivious to Apple's unintentional mental image of several Ravens wearing the foreign wedding clothes that she had seen the witch wear yesterday and dancing around her.
For reasons that were difficult to grasp Apple had difficulty forming a coherent thought for some time after that.