A/N: Sorry D: internet craps out on me all the time so I couldn't upload when it was ready, but here it is! Now the ball is getting different from how Hino wrote ;)

Disclaimer: Don't own VK.

His arm was pulsating from her touch. He gripped his forearm tightly, teeth taut in his mouth. His veins throbbed where her fingers had touched him, even though they had been gloved, even through the fabric of his jacket. His body craved for her, though his mind knew such a craving was hopeless. He had seen her. She was Kaname's creation, now.

His blood jumped beneath his skin.

"Oh, give me a break," Zero growled at it. "Getting all agitated now…"

He shuddered. He had seen her liquid eyes gazing plaintively into his, pleading, and he had felt only insurmountable sadness. What was left of her had been begging him…for what? What could she want from him now? He'd told her he was fine, and she'd seen him, so what did it matter? The love he had felt for her before had been laid to waste in a pile of Kuran-tainted rubble.

So why could he still see her eyes in the darkness of the room?

"Get out," he passed a hand over his eyes, unsure if he was addressing her memory or his own twisted inner darkness.

He couldn't stay in this room forever. Sooner or later he would have to return to his duty. This had only been a temporary solution until his arm ceased its incessant pounding. His flesh still hadn't come to grips with the harsh reality of that name. No longer Cross. Kuran.

The door creaked open. He glowered at it. Who the hell would be coming to disturb him here? He wondered if Yagari-sensei or Kaito was coming to drag him back down to the Grand Hall. The light was painful to his eyes. The room he was in now was only lit by a dim lamp in the corner, tossing shadows in every direction. He couldn't see who it was.

Sunshine spilled into the room. His eyes slammed into that tiny frame, his limbs sealed in place. The black was eating him from the inside out, festering in every corner of his heart. Why was she here? She shouldn't be here.

The veins in his arm writhed.

"Zero…" The name sounded tentative on her tongue. Her heart was racing.

He was filling the whole room with his presence. The scent of him overwhelmed her, nostalgic and familiar and everything that she had been longing for. His eyes watched her stonily, twin amethysts that showed none of the tenderness or friendship that they had before. His silver hair was gleaming faintly in the yellow light of the lamp like a mirror, reflecting all of her hopes and desires back at her but offering nothing of himself in return except that sheen of color

She stepped cautiously into the room and shut the door behind her, aware of the way his eyes tracked her movements. Aware, too, of the promise they had made. The curse. He had said he would kill her. She was counting on his duty and the presence of the other hunters to hold him back, but she couldn't be sure. They were alone, and although Yagari-sensei had assured her he'd be in the area, she knew there was little he could do if Zero decided to shoot her where she stood.

"That's far enough," his voice was edged with threats.

"I'm very sorry, I know I should have left you alone," she hedged. "But, I couldn't help but want to see you…"

"You were right. You shouldn't have come." His words were a storm. She felt the strands of fear and hurt pulling together inside her again.

"I just…I thought it might be good to talk," she told him.

"There's nothing to discuss."

"That's-"

"Get out."

She felt like she might be breaking apart. She wanted to tell him, though she didn't know how she could even begin, that she thought of him every day. That each time she drank her brother's blood she was drowning because she still yearned for his. When her thirst struck at its strongest, it was always his face that she saw. It was always him. She had promised herself to Kaname-sama, but in the depths of her heart she was still bound to Zero.

She took a breath. "No." Her voice was sure as it said that one word.

"You should be downstairs." The amethysts were hard, uncompromising.

"We need to talk, Zero." She moved towards him again, coming around the table in the center of the room in an attempt to eliminate some of the physical distance between them. "I don't want things to stay like this anymore."

He moved, too, now, footsteps shouting at her to leave. There was a whirlwind in his eyes. She took a step back. She didn't think Zero would harm her, but his expression was livid. He didn't stop coming towards her, and she could not take another step back. The wall was close behind her, and if she took that step, it would be an admission of her fears. She wanted to show him that she was stronger than that.

She lifted her chin, looking him straight in the eyes. He was not going to hurt her. They had to talk.

He slammed a hand against the wall beside her, leaning close, eyes ferocious. A tremor passed through him, to be this close to her, but he shoved it aside angrily. He would not be affected by her now. There was nothing left for them.

"I already told you. I will kill you." He sneered a little. That was the way it should be. He had failed to protect the human Yuuki. It was his duty to kill the vampire that had taken over.

"Zero, please…" Her eyes seemed to be glistening in the lowlight.

He hardened his expression, shutting down any emotion that might have snuck through. Were those tears? It didn't matter. It shouldn't matter. He had to make her understand.

"You belong with Kuran now."

"We don't have to be enemies, Zero." She was begging him again, begging him with the same expression that she had before, so many times back at the academy and again moments ago at the ball.

"Just stay away from me." Why couldn't she see that? Why couldn't she see that they could no longer walk the same path? They were destined to be enemies, now. "The next time I see you somewhere, I will kill you."

"Zero!" she cried. "No matter what… Part of my heart is still attached to you! So please, don't say that…"

He felt dangerously close to some ledge. If she kept going like this, he wasn't sure where he would fall to, but he could not afford to slip off the edge now. He couldn't think about her words. Any bond she still felt for him was nothing more than a memory. She had bound herself to Kuran. What part of her could possibly be left for him out of that?

"Just throw it away," he snarled.

"I can't… No matter what, every time I try not to think about it… I just… It just comes back."

"Stop it Yuuki…"

He was dying. From the inside, slowly, more and more each day. He could feel himself growing increasingly numb as the paralysis of his soul spread through every vein, every bone. Every moment away from her, every lie he fed himself, every broken memory shattered against the devastation in his heart, he was dying.

It was difficult to breathe. She was dead, he kept telling himself that. Yuuki Cross, the girl he had fallen in love with, was dead.

But no. The truth was ripping through him with claws of steel. She wasn't the one who was dead. It was him. She had kept on living, ever since that day when she had left and chosen a new life. He had been the one to die, piece by piece. She was the force that powered his heart. Without her, he was nothing but hollow, nothing but a shade.

Her eyes were the same. Soft, sweet, warm… They leeched the ice from his own and replaced it with a flame. A flame that only she could kindle inside him. And Kaname Kuran had snatched that flame away in the dead of night.

Her eyes were different. Older, with a maturity he hadn't expected to find there. And sad… He could feel that sorrow leaking out from her, uncontainable. The carefree sparkle of laughter that had once characterized her gaze was overshadowed, subdued by that sorrow. He could feel his body shaking. Kuran had done this. He had restrained and battered at her spirit, until she had become…this… A china doll locked away in a glass cabinet. Wasn't that why he'd brought her here? To show off his doll?

Zero couldn't take it. He was trembling with rage and grief. Yuuki should never be caged. She deserved much better than this. She had deserved better than him, he knew that clearly. He was nothing but a disastrous, dark tangle of murder and hatred. But wasn't Kuran the same? And if the choice was between the two of them…

For a moment, a wave of selfishness nearly claimed him. He wanted her, he had always wanted her. Kuran had mangled her innocence, her humanity, and now her spirit. Zero could not protect her. He had failed at that. Even so, he desperately wanted to take her away now and protect her as best he could. He wanted to see her smile, hear her laughter. Yuuki should always be smiling.

It was too much. The rage and desire were scalding him, now, demanding action. She was so close… He wanted to push a smile back onto her lips with his own, wanted to see that loneliness and sorrow crumble from her eyes. He wanted to drink in the sunshine, feel it flow through him until the darkness had retreated into the corners of his heart.

With a dry breath, shaking and feeling his eyes beginning to change, he buried his face against her shoulder.

The seconds stretched out into the dimness of the room. She was afraid to stir even an inch. If she did, this fragile moment might shatter apart. Her chest was winding tighter and tighter, her lungs leaping with every breath.

She longed to wrap her arms around him, to hold him close until his trembling stopped. Once, she would have done it. Now, she was trapped. If she moved, she would break the spell that held him there.

Her fingers inched out, searching, until they caught the hem of his jacket, wrapping themselves there in the barest of embraces. It wasn't enough. Her heart was crying for more. But it was all that she could do, now.

Still, the seconds crept on. He didn't move. She scarcely dared to breathe. A moment later he jerked away from her. His eyes were touching hers, tinged with red now. She didn't need to look to know hers were the same.

"Dammit, Yuuki." The familiar expression of self-hatred and pain crossed over his face, and then he straightened.

No… She thought vaguely. She didn't want to let go. The material of his jacket slipped from her fingers.

No…

The anguish shot across his features again, and then he was walking out of the room, leaving her alone there.

The thought made her eyes damp with the promise of tears she could not shed here.

I don't want to let go.

A/N: Review!