Dangers of Drinking

From Anon:

Pleeeeease do something where the twins get drunk and try to prank peter with various degrees of success. It would be amazing thank

Notes: I am not much of a prankster, so I don't know many pranks. But, hope you enjoy what I did come up with (Neal wouldn't have been able to pull it off without Bryce –and alcohol).

Peter flinched as his phone rang. And rang. And rang.

"Aren't you going to get that?" El asked, lifting her head from his chest.

"It's Neal."

"So?"

Peter gave a frustrated sigh in response. El reached out and answered the phone instead.

"Hi Neal."

"El! Hi~," something sounded off about Neal. His voice was slurred and he wasn't trying to hide it. Oh, and he sounded happier than usual. "I was lookin' for Peterrr. Pee-t-errr. Hehe, that's fun to say. Peter."

"Is he drunk?" El asked, giving Peter a baffled look. She didn't even think it was possible to get Neal Caffrey drunk.

"He's been calling all night. Just be happy he's not pulling the 'is your refrigerator running' gag. I've heard three different variations, one in French."

"And that's why Mozzie's convinced that the government installed cameras on the moon to spy on us," Neal was saying, oblivious to the fact that El had stopped listening.

"Neal-"

"Anyway El, I don't want to do this to you but, a deal's a deal. Um... I'll remember my line in a moment... right! I'm doing a survey and would like to ask you some questions!"

"Okay." She figured it couldn't hurt to play along.

"What's it like being married to a Fed?"

"Hard but worth it. I worry about him at work but he loves his job and I love him."

"Okay," Neal stopped her from elaborating and muttered, "I kind of didn't need to know that." Then he continued with the questions, "does your husband have ponies printed on his nightclothes?"

"Uh, no? Ponies? Really, Neal?"

"What about unicorns?"

"No."

"Rainbows? I kind of had him pegged as a rainbows kind of guy."

"No." El couldn't help giggling at that though.

"Alright, well onto the next caller then!" And he hung up. A few moments later the phone rang again.

"Oh for the love of-" Peter grumbled, grabbing the phone from her and answering it. "Neal, I swear-"

"Would you will confirm your order of exotic Mexican dancers for Jones' bachelor party?"

"No. Neal stop." But Neal had already hung up. And then called back a moment later;

"Why did you hang up on me?" he whimpered.

"I-I didn't!" Peter spat out, completely thrown off. He had no idea how to deal with this. It wasn't like 'what to do when your CI is drunk and prank-calling you constantly' was covered in the FBI manual.

El took the phone from him.

"Neal? You there? Good. Stop messing with Peter. Yes, it can be fun but you've crossed that line already. Now it's harassment. The kind of harassment which could land you back in prison. You'll stop? Good."

And then the phone beeped again. An unknown number flashed on the screen.

"A picture?" Peter questioned, cautiously opening the message.

'Meet my twin brother' the text proclaimed with a picture of two casually dressed Neal Caffreys standing side by side with one arm looped around the other and the other holding up beers.

"That's kind of adorable," El commented. Peter wanted to agree except, this meant a lot more paperwork for him in the morning. He would have to get the photo checked for image manipulation and then look into Neal's possible twin.

Prank or not.

What Peter didn't find out until the next morning was, that someone had been in his closet. This someone; Neal admitted at the office that it had been Bryce because he valued their partnership too much to break into his house for that, had replaced all his clothes. The phone calls had been a distraction.

El had him model a few before work, making approving noises while he flushed with embarrassment. She even picked out the tie he wore to work; even his ties had been replaced and that made him want to cry.

Peter walked into the FBI office and turned heads in his brand new dark suit which looked expensive and felt expensive. The shirt was a light faded green and his tie was a blue and grey pinstripe and he felt very uncomfortable.

"Looking great, Peter!" Neal complemented while Diana chuckled. It may have been a childish act but, Peter snatched the sunglasses from Neal's face.

"I don't think these are very professional," he commented, taking them to be locked in his office while the hungover Neal winced in the light.

Bryce came for lunch though and handed Peter a note which listed a storage location where his original clothes could be found while wearing a cheshire grin.