Chaper 25: Prom Prep

Flashback to one week before Penny's Opening Night. It was easy for our ladies to find the right man. The right dress? Different story.

Penny, Niki, and Bernadette were out stalking the mall for just the right dress to wear to the much anticipated prom. They searched through the racks of several stores and each woman had yet to find the dress she felt was 'the one'. The mall was not being their friend. Every dress they looked at either screamed 'Clearasil' or 'Lonely, Mister'?"

It was in Nordstrom where Penny held up her hand and halted the ladies' progress to yet another rack. "Hey, let's stop for a moment and focus on what kind of dress each of us wants and why."

Niki nodded and replied, "Okay, you go first."

"In my dreams, I want a dress that makes me look 25 again. In reality, I've lost so much weight for this darn play I want something that hides the fact that I'm a walking beanpole, sorry Niki, and gives me the illusion of curves. Okay, who's next?"

Niki ignored Penny's reference to a beanpole and began to speak, "Well, I would love to find something that doesn't scream 'middle aged nerdy physicist trying to look like a teenager'. How's that?"

Penny tried to help, "Well, there's that dress you bought a couple days ago, that was really nice."

Niki nixed that idea, "Yeah, but that is intended for your opening night. It says, 'Sophisticated Lady'. Today I'm looking for something that screams, 'I can be had, but only after you salivate'. Have any of you guys seen something like that today?" They all sadly shook their heads.

Bernie broke the silence, "I want something that makes me look like J Lo at her peak." Both Penny and Niki turned and stared at her in disbelief.

Niki finally regained the power of speech, "Bernie, you're short, curvy, and blonde. There's not a dress in this world that will help you pull off the vintage J Lo look."

"I know, but I can dream, can't I?"

Penny chuckled at Bernie's words and then continued "Okay, let's get real here. I want curves, Niki wants sex-on-a-stick, and Bernie, what do you really want?"

The small woman sighed, "Something that doesn't scream, 'Soccer Mom' and doesn't come from the Junior Department."

Penny nodded to her friend, "Got it. Now that we know what we're looking for we're a lot closer to finding it."

"Guys, I have an idea. What is your favorite color to wear?" Bernie asked in her cutest voice.

Penny put back the dress she was looking at and answered her friend, "Oh that would have to be red or black. Definitely red or black." She turned to Niki who was browsing the next rack over, "Hey, Nik, what about you? What colors do you like to wear the most?"

She looked up, "Hmmm…if I had to choose it would be either green or red. What are your favorites, Bernie, seeing as how you started it?"

Bernie thought a moment and chirped, "Red or blue. Yeah, either one of those."

A light bulb went off in Niki's head, "Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't we all wear the same color? Everyone said they like red, let's all wear a red dress."

Bernie squealed in delight, "That would be so cute!"

Penny added to the suggestion, "Only in completely different styles. That would make it interesting."

Bernie smiled at Penny, "Okay, but where would be a good place to shop for three completely different red dresses?"

Niki volunteered, "I know the cutest little boutique right off of Colorado. I used to shop there all the time when I was married. It's perfect for what we want. Plus, it's near all kinds of fantastic restaurants where we can grab a bite to eat when we're done. That sounds so much better than the botulism buffets they serve here at the mall."

"I'm sold, girlfriend. Lead the way!" Penny laughed as she followed Niki and Bernie through the front of the store and out of the mall.

Niki drove them to a quaint little shop on a quiet side street. The proprietor intently studied them individually after they had presented their request then spoke, "I think I have something for each of you that would suit your individual style, shape, and coloring. Follow me to the back room. He then presented them each with a mysterious object on a hanger wrapped in opaque plastic. He told them, "Each of these dresses will be in the shade of red and the style I have thought best suited each of you."

The man motioned to Bernadette and led her to a dressing room in the far back of the store. He told her, "Take your time and if you need any help, one of our dressers can aide you." When she finally emerged from the small cubicle, both of her friends gasped in delight. Bernadette looked like anything but a soccer mom in a form fitting, one shouldered, bright red, pleather sheath with a sweetheart neckline, and a cutout midriff that exposed her tiny, tiny, waist and amazing abs. The dress ended somewhere above her knees, which only added to the blonde bombshell affect.

"Oh my god, where did our middle aged room mother go?" Penny asked. "Bernie, you look amazing!"

Niki's eyes got large and she steadied herself on the back of a chair, "Girl, that dress screams, 'I still got it'. And you still do, of course. Wow!"

The man beckoned to Niki next, "I knew the gown I wanted for you, Ms. Horner, the moment you walked in. Here," he took the dress from her and hung it in another small room next to the one used by Bernadette. "Please try this little number on and let my know what you think". Niki eagerly enter the room and closed the door behind her.

She re entered the main room wearing a floor length, sleeveless gown of a wine red color which had lace flowers dancing merrily across its sheer bodice. The dress was slit up to her thigh which, as she had hoped, made her look very sexy, indeed.

Penny gasped, "Sweetie, you got your wish. That thing screams 'Take me'!"

Bernie chimed in, "I don't know if Sheldon will be able to hold his mud after seeing you in that!"

Niki grinned in pleasure at her friend's comments and looked over at Penny. "Your turn, sweetheart."

Penny, like the others, took her mystery garment into the dressing room and emerged a goddess. Her gown was a form fitting, floor length halter dress, made of a dark red, luxurious satin. It, like Niki's, was slit on the side and it sported a sexy pair of elbow length black gloves as an accessory.

Niki couldn't believe her eyes, "Girl, I've always thought you were beautiful, but man, there are no words. Unbelievable."

Bernie just kept shaking her head in wonder, and then finally spoke, "That thing puts all the right curves in all the right places. Muy caliente!"

Penny looked at herself in the mirror and saw that her friends were right; she did look hot in this dress, classy, but hot. She nodded to the owner of the shop, "I'll take it!"

Bernie piped up, "Me, too! I love my dress!"

The women returned to the dressing rooms, removed their gowns and put their street clothes back on. They then regrouped by the cashier, each very much pleased with herself.

Niki smiled like the cat that had swallowed the canary as she pulled out her wallet, "I told you this place would have exactly what we were looking for. Henri, put this on my card, and my friends' purchases, also." Both Penny and Bernie began to protest but Niki put up a hand and stopped them, "There's no use arguing. My treat. Friends don't let friends dress tacky at prom."

They took their dresses home and stored them in their closets. Now, all they had left was to plan the rest of the prom.

The next night all the friends were gathered at Leonard and Penny's for Prom Planning. Penny started the proceedings by going over the itinerary she had printed out and attached to a utilitarian clipboard.

"Okay, guys. Here goes. We've gotten permission to use the roof until midnight. I've talked to the Playhouse and we only have a matinee that Saturday, there are some acrobats from China making a one night only performance that evening, so it's cool, I have the night off. The matinee ends at six, so I should be ready to go by 7:30 or 8. Like always, the guys have the catering covered, so that's done. What did you tell me, Leonard? Oh yeah, we're having a salad, pasta, and sushi bar. Something there for everyone. Oh, a desert bar, too! Yummy!" She turned and winked at Niki, "I'm in charge of the punch, I won't tell you until prom is over whether it was spiked or not." She looked at Raj seated on the couch, "You've offered to dj, right?" He nodded in affirmation, "You know you're free to bring Emily if you want. We'll do our best to keep her in line."

"Thanks, Penny, but I'd rather leave her home. I'm actually looking forward to being the dj, I'll have time for Em, later."

"Fine with me. Now, us ladies have already purchased our dresses, have you guys rented your tuxes yet?" They all nodded. "Good. Now comes the fun part. We've cleared part of the roof for a dance floor, so there will be music," she nodded to Raj, "and dancing. But…Raj won't pick the music, we will. You see in front of you a white index card with five lines on it. For the men, the top line is for a song all you guys want to dedicate to the ladies, meaning us." She pointed to herself, Bernie, and Niki. "It will be a collective effort on your part. The next line is for each fella to list a song he wants to dedicate to his own lady. Got that?" Again, they nodded. "The next two lines are just for love songs you want to have Raj play. One rule, they all have to be oldies, songs over ten years old. Got that?" More nods. "Any questions?" Sheldon raised his hand. "I could have guessed. Okay Sheldon, what is it?"

"I find this forcing us to select songs ridiculous. I refuse to…" his voice trailed off and a smile appeared on his face. "Forget I said anything, Penny. No questions."

Penny smiled fondly at her eccentric friend, "Just when I think I have you figured out, you throw me a curveball. Oh well, it keeps life interesting. Now, for the ladies, more or less the same thing. The first line is for a collective song for the guys. The next line, a song dedicated to just your main squeeze. The next two lines, songs you want Raj to play. Got it?" Niki's hand shot up. "Yeah, Nik? What is it?"

"Say Raj is playing Howard's song for Bernie, can everyone dance, or just them?"

"When Raj plays any of the fella's dedication to their lady, those two are the only ones allowed on the dance floor. The same when a lady's dedication to her prince charming is playing. Any other time, everyone can be out there. Are we all clear on that?" Everyone nodded.

Penny looked down at her clipboard, "Okay, on to the guest list. There's all of us and Leonard, are your dad and Mary going to be back from their cruise in time to come?"

'Oh yeah. They said to save them a seat. And a special dance. I think Alfred has something special planned for her."

Awww, that's so sweet!" Penny cooed. "Us ladies do love us some special plans. Anyway, Stuart is coming and, get this, he's bringing a date!"

Everybody was shocked, "Stuart has managed to procure a date?" Sheldon asked in surprise.

"Hey, if you can get one, anyone can." joked Howard.

"Howie, stop." Bernadette warned her husband. "This is supposed to be a friendly get together for adults, not a one upmanship exercise."

Howard tried his best to diffuse his comment, "I was just having a little fun."

Sheldon refused to let it go, "I don't see why you are so surprised I have a date, Howard, I haven't lived with my mother since I was 14. How old were you the first time, besides college, you lived away from your mother? Oh, that's right. It was on the Space Station."

Howard fired back, "At least I got laid for the first time before the age of 35."

"Well, Howard, at least my first time wasn't with a third degree blood relative."

Howard was prepared to respond to Sheldon's taunt with another cutting retort when Niki got up and placed herself between the two men, "That will be enough, Sheldon. We're all friends here, if you and Howard don't fuck it up, that is."

He stared at his girlfriend with disapproval, "That's some pretty strong language there, little lady."

"Sometimes that's what the damn situation calls for, Sheldon. Am I right, Bernie?"

Bernadette grabbed her husband by the arm and led him back to his chair, "Totally. Shut your pie hole, Howie. Enough's enough."

Both Howard and Sheldon were shocked into silence. Sheldon finally spoke, "Might as well call this one the Potty Mouth Prom."

Penny put down her clipboard and stared sternly at both men, "Or Romper Room Revisited. Take your pick. Now, back to Stuart, he met a nice lady at the comic book store and he's been seeing her for about a month now."

Curiosity got the better of Bernadette and she began to pepper Penny with questions, "What's she like? What made her go for Stuart? How old is she?"

Niki joined in, her curiosity had also been piqued, "What's her name? Does she have a copy of the dress code? Will they be picking songs, too?"

"Okay, guys. One question at a time. I've only met her once, but she seems really sweet and shy. Why does any woman go for a guy? She thought he was cute and nice, maybe even a little sexy. You guys can stop that at anytime," she commanded, as the men in the room trumpeted their disbelief by loud snickers. "I don't know her age, but she looked pretty close in age to the rest of us, somewhere around 40. Yes, I sent her a copy of the dress code, this is just for us ladies, guys, don't get all wound up over it. And no, they don't want to choose any songs, they told me whatever we pick will be fine. Niki, her name is Georgia. I think you guys will all like her, I did."

Niki grinned broadly at Penny, her enthusiasm for the event readily apparent "Okay, I can't wait to meet her. Stuart is a really nice guy and I hope they have fun at our little soiree."

Suddenly, Penny's phone rang the theme from Star Wars, which Leonard had secretively downloaded to her phone. Hearing the all too familiar notes, Penny threw a quick frown to her husband and took the call.

Hello. Oh hi! Yeah, it's been awhile. What? Uh huh, it's two weeks from this Saturday. Oh, somewhere around 8, but you can make an appearance any time after that. Now, are you bringing a date or going solo? Okay, well, when you know give me a call. Talk to ya later, bye!

Penny's face held a devilish smile as she announced, "Guys, you'll never guess who's going to be joining us at the prom!"

Just who is this secret prom attendee? What music will everyone choose for their sweetie? Guess you have to read on to find out.