Kitty-sama: I do not own bleach, unfortunately.
Kitty-sama: Dear fans, Do you know what time it is? No? Neither do I, that's why I asked.
Renji: you're an idiot.
Kitty-sama: No, YOU'RE the idiot.
Ichigo: anyways, what she's trying to say is-
Kitty-sama: YOU DON'T KNOW ME! YOU AIN'T MY MOMMA!
Ichigo: sorry…
Kitty-sama: what I'm trying to say is, it's really been a long time, hasn't it guys?
Byakuya: yeah… I've only been in that closet for a full TWO YEARS.
Kitty-sama: yeah, sorry about that.
Byakuya: no, you're not.
Kitty-sama: yeah, you're right about that. It's just that, between marching band, debate, debate nationals, more marching band, and every AP course I could possibly take, I just sort of ran out of time…
Rukia: But the important thing is, we're back. And now we're better than ever!
Ishida: we've completely revamped the show, with new segments and features, and now even a special section called Strolling with Gin, in which Gin takes to the streets to gather the viewpoints of passers-by.
Kitty-sama: exactly! In fact, that very segment can be seen today, as our show's feature segment to kick off the new season.
Rukia: But before we get to that, how about a quick word from our sponsors?
*Loud theme music* Have you ever been chased by rabid fangirls? Do you often find yourself hiding below a stereotypically cute bridge or abnormally small broom closet to avoid masses? Did you ever wish there was a way that you could make it all stop? Well now you can! I'm recent addition to the soul society's structure of soul reapers, Billy Mays here to tell you about this awesome new and improved extra-strength version fangirl repellant. But quick! Call in the next 5 minutes, and you can get a second can free, you just pay shipping and handling! Hurry, before we run out!
Kitty-sama: thanks, Billy! And now for the time we all have been waiting for, seeing our wonderful guest of honor, Gin Ichimaru!
Gin: *walks out on stage, stops, winks*
**Audience**: applause!
Gin: well it's- yes- thank- CALM DOWN NOW! It's so nice to be here today to kick off my new segment, Strolling with Gin!
Kitty-sama: yes, Gin, I hear you really asked the hard-hitting questions this time 'round. But don't take my word for it, let's just roll our clip…
Gin: Hello there. Mind if I ask you a question?
Five-year-old boy: no.
Gin: ?
Five-year-old boy: *points down the street*
Gin: YAAAAYYYYY! *takes off running*
Gin: Hey, can I ask you something?
Tall, tattooed man: *ehem* I guess…
Gin: which do you prefer? Butterflies, or spiders?
Tall, tattooed man: OOOooohhhh! Butterflies! I have a tattoo of one! Wanna see?
Gin: sure!
Tall, tattooed man: *pulls down pants to reveal butterfly tramp stamp*
Gin: wow….
Gin: Hi, can I ask you a question?
Busty, skimpily-clad woman: Yes?
Gin: Are those real?
Busty, skimpily-clad woman: *slaps gin across the face* how DARE you? Who do you think you-
Gin: I meant the snake-skin boots…
Busty, skimpily-clad woman: well… I really don't know what to say. Every time anyone asks me that, they're talking about my breasts.
Gin: whaat? You're totally flat-chested!
Busty, skimpily-clad woman: *bursts into sobs*
Gin: *smiles*
Kitty-sama: well that's the end of that segment, and what a segment it was. Thanks for joining us today, Gin. How about a round of applause for Gin, everybody?
**Audience**: Applause!
Kitty-sama: well, that's our show for today, folks! Feel free to write in with any suggestions!
Rukia: thanks for watching!
Ichigo: next week's episode will guest-star Ulquiorra, and a hard-hitting interview about how he feels about the ass-beating he took from me.
Uryu: look forward to seeing our new segment, Strolling with Gin!
Renji: and our special feature for next week is Arts and Crafts with Renji!
Byakuya: We appreciate you tuning in, and look forward to seeing you next time!
Kitty-sama: before we go, a special thanks to all of our regular co-hosts: Rukia, Ichigo, Byakuya, Uryu, and Renji!