Robin stood on the prow of the royal galley as it sailed southward from the Port of Acre toward Darum. This last stronghold of the Saracens along the coast lay far to the south, and King Richard knew its conquest would put strategic pressure on Saladin, as well as further menace the trade routes between Syria and Egypt, depriving the Saracens of needed supplies. It promised to be another gruesome battle.

He blessedly had a moment to himself, for Much was occupied arguing with another soldier about his right to wax poetic about strawberries and cream, leaving Robin a rare opportunity alone with his thoughts.

Glancing over his shoulder to make certain no one was watching, he reached inside his tunic and pulled out a letter he had written a few days prior to Roger of Stoke's departure from the Holy Land. This was the letter he would have sent with Roger, if he thought he had the right. This was the letter revealing his true heart and mind, the letter baring his soul wide open. This was the letter he would read to himself one final time, because when he read it, he felt he was speaking directly to Her, telling her the things he would if he only had the courage.

Taking a deep breath, he pictured her lovely face, and began to read what he longed to be able to tell her.

"My dearest Marian,

How are you? Every part of me wishes I could know how you are...what you're doing and thinking and dreaming. When I told you I was leaving to fight for the King and we angrily parted, I had no earthly idea how greatly I would miss you. It feels as if part of me has died, Marian. Not that exactly...I don't know how to describe it, other than to tell you there is a tremendous hole in my heart.

I only pray that my leaving did not bring you the same sense of grief and loss. If it did, I am truly sorry.

I want you to know you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. You are the finest, bravest person I know, my very best friend, and so much more besides. You, Marian, are my love, my only love, more precious and beautiful to me than life sustaining water. All my hopes and dreams of home center around you.

I wish we were together walking slowly through the sunshine and the crowd from church, greeting my people, your warm little hand clasped in mine. Or sitting side by side on our bridge, trees waving overhead, splashing each other with our toes skimming the water's surface, laughing till our sides ache. Or riding breathlessly through the forest on one horse, forging our own path through dappled greenery, your body against my back, the rhythm of the horse moving us as one. Or sitting by the fireside at Knighton, silently watching the embers die out, with you on my lap, your cheek pressed into my shoulder, my arms wrapped tightly around you, wishing it weren't time for me to go.

Have I truly lost you to another man? It is no more than I deserve for leaving you as I did. I have no right to ask this of you after what I have done, but if you are not already wed, I beg you to consider your heart, and see if I still hold a place within it. If I do, then please wait for me. It is selfish, for I may not come home at all, but Marian, how can I go on without you? Home won't be home without you there as my love, my bride, my wife! If I've lost you, I've lost everything.

Forgive me, my love, for all the wrongs I have done you. I count his letter among them, which is why I cannot send it.

Nonetheless, I remain yours...yours...forever yours,

Robin

Closing his eyes to the blinding glare of the unforgiving sun, he held the letter out over the waves, and released it to the wind and the sea, so that his words could be lost forever.