Lord Drake Misadventures 25
By: Vyce Dryke, 2009
[Summary]:
On [i]The Dragon's haste....[/i]
Lord Drake: Corrack!
Lord Corrack: What?
Lord Drake: Stop leaving those weird dildo things in all the chairs.
Lord Corrack: Your wearing armor. Why should you care?
Lord Drake: Rhuemwight has be complaining about his arse again..
Lord Corrack: Again? And you come to bother ME about it?
Lord Drake: You know why.
Lord Corrack: I do?
[Summary]: Lord Drake and Lord Corrack argue about something. Insanity had ensued.
Elsewhere...
Tlanextic: What ever happened to the Arafalas guy?
Lord Corrack: Last I saw him... Naso was having his way with him. I haven't seen him since.
Tlanextic: Oh right. That whole Council of 'evil' thing trying to stop us.
Lord Corrack: Yeah. You all left at the same time the fun started.
[Summary]: Tlanextic and Lord Corrack talk about Arafalas. Roflcopter.
Lord Drake: RHUEMWIGHT!
Rhuemwight: Y-y-y-yes my Lord?
Lord Drake: SPLEEN!
Rhuemwight: AUUUUGH MY SPLEEEN!
Rhuemwight explodes.
[Summary]: '"qŽÒ‚¨‚æ‚уhƒŒ[ƒNŽå‚Ì‹c˜_‚Ì'"qŽÒ‚Í"š"‚·‚é
Arafalas falls from the sky, and lands with a thump.
Tlanextic: Speaking of the Devil.
Lord Drake: If he's the devil then I'm Mary Sue
Arafalas: Well well. I didn't know you were blue and named Marnues Calgar.
Lord Corrack: Someone's overconfident.
Lord Drake; Maybe he's compensating for something.
Arafalas: Or maybe your face is compensating for something.
Lord Drake: Oooohhh.. Big come back. I'm soooo Burnt.
Arafalas: I'll burn you any day baby.
Lord Corrack: Well this is new.
Lord Drake arches an eyebrow.
Lord Drake: Wait.. What?
Arafalas: You heard me.
Lord Drake: No I didn't. I'm deaf. See?
Tlanextic: You can't see someone as deaf my Lord.
Lord Drake: Yes you can! SEE! SEE!?
Tlanextic: But by acknowledging me, you heard me.
Lord Drake: Maybe I can read lips?
Tlanextic: I'm wearing a helmet.
Lord Drake: I'm psychic!?
Tlanextic: You wish.
Arafalas: Ahem. Guys.
Lord Drake: Oh. Sorry. I don't talk to insignificant Eldar.
Arafalas fumes.
[Summary]: Vrei sa pleci dar numa, numa iei, Numa, numa iei, numa, numa, numa iei.
Lord Drake: Awww. Is the poor little eldar-weldar insulted. Awww. The poor thing!
Arafalas: No! I will NOT falter! Drakey Wakey.
Lord Drake gasps.
Lord Drake: How'd you know my horrible nickname? D:
Arafalas: It is? *ahem* I mean. It is! Drake Wakey. Made a... Cakey... And went bakey.. pa.. Oh forget it.
Lord Drake: HAH! FAIL!
Arafalas: But it's not fail when I get awesomesauce all over you.
All: EWWWWW...
Rhuemwight: Huh?
Tlanextic: Nevermind, it's not important enough for you to know.
Lord Corrack: Well he's spent more than enough time with Naso.
Arafalas: I'd spend more time with you, if you know what I mean.
Lord Drake: What the? Naso tainted him. He's part Slaaneshi!
Arafalas: You got it babe.
[Summary]: Phenomena... Doo doo doo doo doo.
Arafalas: I have more important business to attend to. Ta-ta for now!
Arafalas vanishes.
Lord Drake: Muwhahahha...
Lord Corrack: I did all the work.
Lord Drake: No you didn't. I did.
Tlanextic: Uhm.. My Lord..
Lord Drake: Not right now! I'm busy revelling in my victory against the Eldar.. thing..
Tlanextic: But my Lord. Necrons are here!
Lord Drake: Khorne's Cookbook! Necrons!
The three steel themselves as a Monolith slowly phases into view. And when it appears.. It's.. Pink.. With Hello Kitty art and stickers all over it.
Lord Drake: No!
Lord Corrack: It cannot be!
Tlanextic palmfaces.
Tlanextic: Ugh. This just all gets worse.. and worse.
Six similarly pink necrons phase into view.
Necron Lord: Hiiiii! I'm Hello Kitty.
The three Chaos leaders jawdrop, the Necron Lord sounds like a little girl.
Lord Drake: Wait.. did he.. What?
'Hello Kitty': I just want to be friends!
Necron Pariah: Why Hello Kitty!
'Hello Kitty': Why! It's Dear Daniel!
Tlanextic groans.
Tlanextic: Can't we just like. Kill them now?
Lord Drake: And miss out on tormenting you? I think not.
Lord Corrack: I think I might join them.. And be a Hello Kitty Chaos Marine!
Lord Drake: Have you lost your mind?
Tlanextic: Has he ever had it?
Lord Drake: These guys are more pathetic than the Igloo Necrons.
Necron Pariah ('Dear Daniel'): How are you doing today?
'Hello Kitty': Doing quite well...
'Dear Daniel': That is good to hear. Who are our friends here?
'Hello Kitty': I do not know. I don't recognize them,
'Dear Daniel': We should give them a hug.
Lord Corrack: I like hugs.
At this moment Rhuemwight pops back into existence.
Rhuemwight: Oh! My Lord! I am whole again!
'Hello Kitty': Hello friend. Have a 'hug'!
The clearly malfunctioning Necron Lord fires a pink guass shot, which 'hugs' Rhuemwight.
Rhuemwight: Oh not again! AAUUUGH MY PELVIS!
Rhuemwight explodes.
[Summary]: I'm blue da ba dee da ba die... da ba dee da ba die... da ba dee da ba die...
'Hello Kitty' looks confused.
'Hello Kitty': Oh no. Our friend exploded.
'Dear Daniel': We should have our play house give some hugs too!
Lord Corrack: Ooo! Ooo! Are we going to play with dolls?
Lord Drake: You play with dolls too?
Tlanextic: What the devil are you morons talking about?
Lord Corrack: Well. You see.. We have these blow-
Lord Drake suddenly bashes Lord Corrack aside, knocking him out cold.
Lord Drake: Don't listen to anything he says! He's a liar!
And then the Pink Monolith flares to life, after sitting there doing nothing for all this time. Lord Corrack wakes up and sits up.
Lord Corrack: Oh. My. God. It's going to kill us!
'Hello Kitty': It focuses on movement. You move. Your dea-I mean.. Warm and toasty inside 3
At this point, poor Rhuemwight shows up again.
Rhuemwight: My.. My.. Lord that hurt!
Rhuemwight moves an arm, and the Monolith hums as it prepares to fire.
Rhuemwight: Oh.. Not again...
BOOM!
Rhuemwight: AHHH MY SPLE-Wait a minute. I'm in a dress.
You thought he was goign to explode again didn't you? Tsk. Instead, Rhuemwight is decked out in makeup and in a dress, and for some reason he's female.
Rhuemwight: This isn't right...
'Hello Kitty': He's not changed! Shoo-Hug him again!
BOOM!
Rhuemwight: We represent.. the lolipop guild.. The lolipop guild.. The lolipop guild...
'Dear Daniel': MUCH better.
Lord Drake: To be honest. I'd rather him explode.
Tlaenxtic: I'd recommend running. But it'd get us.
Lord Corrack shrugs, and starts running.
BOOM!
Lord Corrack: HAH! That doesn't effect me. I'm kid-friendly enough!
Lord Drake: You? Kid friendly?
Lord Drake: I dunno. i guess I'm too corrupted to be affected!
[Summary]: Alright everybody now here we go. It's a brand new version of the dosido! Just stomp your feet and clap your hands. Come on everybody its the hamster dance! YEEEEE HAAAAA
Vyce: I'll show you corrup-
BOOM!
The Chaos Dragon had arrived, but he hadn't been fast enough to avoid it. The dragon now was wearing a dragon-sized tutu.
Vyce: What the?
BOOM!
Vyce: I'm a little teapot short and stout.. here is my handle and here is my spout...
The dragon dances around like a fairy. Which causes another chaos dragon, this one white and blue, to crack up laughing.
Kevaskous: Oh that suits you too well
Vyce: When I'm getting out of this Keva I'm beating you.
Keva: Murr?
Tlanextic stares
Tlanextic: There's more of them!?
Vyce: Well of course. Dragons are all over the place. Duuuh.
Keva: Keep dancing sugarplum fairy.
Vyce: I will end you.
Keva: You know you love me.
Vyce snorts at that and sticks his tongue out.
Can our 'heroes' survive the Hello Kitty Necrons? Is the author being lazy again and can't think of a good ending? Probably. Tune in next time. Same Misadventures channel, same Misadventures time...
Zack: Oh shut up. Honestly.
A third Chaos Dragon, this one Dark Red, shows up, and rips the Pink 'Hello Kitty' Monolith crystal.
Zack: Now if I just corrupt this...
Zack focuses on the crystal, the crystal glows, and then turns a bright red. the Hello Kitty necrons, turn and stare as the Chaos Dragon returns the crystal. The Monolith shudders, and suddenly changes color, and is now in bright red and green Christmas-y colors.
Necron Lord: Noooo-!
Necron Pariah: Nooo!
Necron Lord: Ho.. Ho.. Ho.. Merry Christmas.
Necron Pariah: Have you all been good lately?
Lord Drake: Yes!
Vyce returns to normal, the tutu missing.
Vyce: About damn time.
Necron Lord: Well. I'm a busy.. Errhm... Man.. And we have much to do all night.
Lord Corrack: But it's not Chri-
Tlanextic: Shut up!
The Necrons vanish, and voices are heard.
Necrons: Merry Christmas to all.. And to all a good night!
Tlanextic: Well this is the most yammed up thing I've ever he-
[Summary]: We are mad , Vyce is cute , you are damned.
END.
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Author's note: This is making fun of an RP thread in the DoW2 forums that required a summary at the end. I took the idea and ran with it.