A/N: This chapter is rated M for a reason people. Don't read if you're uncomfortable with it or whatever (should you decide to skip it, you won't miss anything important really besides the act itself). Now, I want you all to bear with me. I haven't really written a smutty fic before, so this is my best shot at it. Be nice with your reviews.

He looked at her from across the car every so often - because if he didn't keep his eyes on the road, they would probably end up in a car accident, and talk about a mood breaker. Instead, he would glance at her occasionally - just for a second - because, after all, he couldn't believe this was happening. This moment was finally here; certainly, she could turn back again. She could back out and feel uncomfortable and nervous - and that was fine with him; he wasn't going to pressure or force her into sex. He had proven that to her before. But staring at her now, at the look on her face that was slightly nervous, he knew she wasn't going to back away or back out tonight.

This really was it.

He couldn't believe it, how they had started and now how they were ending.

He couldn't stop smiling.

"I was thinking."

Suddenly, his optimism was shot; attempting to hide his apprehensive look, he swallowed and kept his gaze glued ont he road. "Thinking?"

"About tonight."

He never thought it was possible, but he actually thought that his heart was going to stop beating. Robert forced himself to swallow again in attempt to hide his shaky voice. "What about tonight?"

"I'm thinking we should go to your place instead."

He sighed in relief and didn't stop his smile. "What makes you want to do that?"

"Because I guarantee you as soon as walk into my room they're going to shout out rumors and...And I"m not sure yet if they're the kind of people who knock before they enter."

"And we wouldn't want that, now would we?"

"No. No that would be bad." She chuckled softly. "Privacy is definitely a perk of a one-bedroom apart. That, and you were right. No one can walk in on us."

Robert laughed and took his right hand off the steering wheel so he could hold hers; he gave it a gentle squeeze as he told her, "My place is fine. You...You don't have to work tomorrow, do you?"

"No. Do you?"

"No," he answered, smiling. They could take their time. They wouldn't do anything until she was ready both before and after they entered the bedroom.

"Do you..."

He glanced at her and squeezed her hand again when she stopped to stare out the window, apparently attempting to find lost courage. "Do I what?"

"Do you have condoms?"

He laughed again before he shook his head at her frustrated stare. "No, no. I"m not laughing at you."

"Then what's so funny?"

"Rule number one about sex: always use a condom," he told her. "Unless you're married and trying or on the pill. But always use a condom."

"I still don't see how that's funny."

"Always have condoms because you never know when you're going to need them," he told her, smiling. "I didn't expect you to walk into my office today and tell me that you were ready to have sex. But I'm prepared because I do have condoms."

"So have them even if I don't need them?"

"Exactly. So...Don't worry about condoms when we're at my place. I've got that covered."

"Good."

"And you?" He glanced at her and, seeing her surprised face, clarified, "Protection. Are you on the pill?"

"Oh, yeah," April answered after a moment. "Yeah. I've been taking that for a while for...other reasons."

"No explanation necessary."

She smiled. "So is that pretty much it on the protection side? Always use a condom?"

"That, and know the sexual history of your partner."

She stared at him for a moment, scowling. "Well, how many-"

Robert glanced at her when she stopped and snapped her mouth shut, staring out the window again. He would have laughed, but didn't want her to think that he was making fun of her. Instead he asked, "How many sexual partners have I had?"

"Yes."

"A few."

"Oh."

He smiled and shook his head when he thought she was going to try to pull her hand away from him. "But not a lot, April. At least, not with a lot of different women. I've never had unprotected sex or had an STD. I'm careful."

"Oh."

He noted the shift, how her voice was perkier when she knew she had nothing to fear about the after effects. "So you have nothing to be worried about."

"Okay. Good."

"There's another rule to sex that you should know before we get to my place, April."

"Oh?"

He nodded. "And that is that sex and porn are not the same thing."

"No?"

"No."

"Oh, thank God."

He laughed again. "There are a lot of...misconceptions by people who haven't had sex - and even by some people who have had it - that sex and porn the same thing. They're not. Porn is acting. What you and I are going to be doing tonight that's not acting. That's..."

"Love?"

Robert smiled brightly. "That's exactly what it is."

She met his smile with her own. "Any more rules I should be aware of before we get to your apartment?"

"Tonight is not about me, April. It's about you, okay? Your needs and comfort and pleasure and nothing else."

"But-"

"I'll be fine," he told her, smiling. "Don't worry. It'll be great for me no matter what. And you know why that is?"

"Because it's sex?"

"No. Because I love you."

April smiled. "So...Tonight really is about me, isn't it?"

He nodded. "I wouldn't lie to you like that. Besides, that's called being a polite and respectable lover, not a selfish one. You're allowed to be as selfish as you want."

"Good to know. Anything else?"

"There will be a lot of foreplay." He paused. "Because sex is an extension of foreplay and you need to be relaxed and ready before we actually have sex."

"I was kind of hoping that was a given."

"Just wanted to make sure you knew. Oh," he squeezed her hand as if this was the most important one to remember, "you need to speak up. If I"m doing something you like, speak up. If I'm not, definitely speak up. This might not be my first time, but not all women are the same. And I don't want to be guessing the entire time."

"I think I can do that."

"Good." He smiled at her one final time, the breath catching in his chest in anticipation as he pulled into his parking space to his apartment. "You ready?"

"I am."

"You know," she laughed gently, "for someone who didn't know we were going to have sex tonight, you are awfully prepared."

He laughed and shrugged. "I figure it's better to be prepared and not need any of these things than need them and not be prepared, first time and all."

"Massage oil?" She picked the bottle up from his nightstand.

"Water-based," he offered.

"Am I getting a massage tonight?"

"I was planning on it, but if you don't want to, that's all right."

She looked down at the massage bottle. "I...How is that supposed to help?"

"It's relaxing," he answered simply, taking the bottle from her gently and watched her stare down at the bed, pleased with the slight twinkle in her eyes. "And can be very sensual if done right."

"I see."

Her hesitance stopped him from pushing the topic. "If you're uncomfortable with it-"

"I'm not," she answered and then smiled. "At least, I don't think so. I've never gotten a massage before."

"Never?"

"Never."

He smiled and kissed her head gently, thankful that she was a only a couple inches shorter than he. "Well, do you want to try it?"

"I have to take my shirt off, don't I?"

"And your bra."

She sighed and looked down at her clothes like she wasn't sure what to do; sooner or later, she knew, she would end up losing all her clothes, she just hadn't expected to lose her top to a massage.

"You seem disappointed in that."

"Oh, no, it's not that," she told him quickly, seeing a hint of...something...in his eyes. "I just...I didn't expect that..."

He sat down on the bed, putting his hands on her hips when she stood before him and put her hands on his shoulders. Robert looked up at her. "Didn't expect what?"

"It'd be just me taking off my clothes."

"Ah." He smiled and slowly moved his hands up her sides until he had reached the top of her blouse. His hands at her top button, he stopped to look at her. His eyes didn't leave hers as he undid all the buttons and helped her slide the fabric off. Now he stared at her, grinning, because her bra was lacy and black - nothing like he had expected. "You have a lot of racy attire, you know that?"

"Not really. I just bought this yesterday."

"Did you?"

"Yeah."

"I like it."

She smiled and tensed slightly when he gently ran his fingertips back down her sides again. "That's kind of the point."

After a few moments of silence, he stood up and kissed her, lingering only when he felt her relax against him; he smiled through their kisses when she wrapped her arms around his neck and moved against him. Robert pulled away for a moment - only to smile again when he saw that twinkle alive in her eyes. Gently, he bent his head and kissed her neck as he wrapped his hands around her and began to slowly unclasp her bra.

Attempt to unclasp her bra, anyway. He grew frustrated after a few moments, cursing the damned undergarment because - even after years of practice - he was so nervous that he couldn't quite seem to get it. He fumbled as if he was a teenager again, disbelieving that this was finally happening.

April heard him mutter a few expletives and she couldn't help but laugh. "Having some trouble there?"

He laughed triumphantly, however, and ignored her question when he finally unclasped it and slowly slid the straps down her delicate shoulders and arms.

God, she was beautiful. He could tell by the blush in her cheeks and the way she looked away from him that she didn't even know it, either. He wanted to prove to her so badly how beautiful he thought she was, but fought the urge and instead tilted her chin toward him so she was looking at him. "April?"

"Yeah?" She was quiet, as if her breath had caught in her throat.

"Are you cold?" He smiled when she laughed, the exact response that he wanted; she was more comfortable now, he could tell. The blush was gone and now she stared at him, her eyes open in anticipation. "Why don't you lay down?"

She stared at the bed; he had removed the comforter as soon as they had entered in the room. "Lay down?"

"On your stomach, yes." He laughed when she only stared at him. "Just lay down. I promise nothing's going to happen."

She only eyed him carefully as she laid down; her eyes didn't leave him even as he walked to the front of his room and slowly dimmed the light switch so they were only covered by a small beam of light. Scowling slightly, she propped herself on her elbows and watched as he walked over to a stereo, turning on soft music that was calming to her ears. After a moment - and a nervous pang - she asked, "You really prepared for this, didn't you?"

He scoffed. "Please. I have this stuff on hand on a daily basis."

"Honey?"

"Yeah?" He was standing behind her now, gentle as he straddled her and hovered above her, his hands on the small of her back.

"I don't think tonight is the best time for sarcasm."

He only responded by leaning down and kissing her shoulder blade. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

Minutes later he had her completely relaxed; at first she had been tense, especially when he was working out the kinks in her shoulders from the stress of the week, but eventually she had relaxed. Now she was a puddle beneath him, moaning every so often. For a few seconds he thought she had fallen asleep; he stopped kneading her back and stared down at her.

She only moaned slightly. "Robert?"

He smiled. "I'm sorry. I thought you were asleep."

"Just relaxed."

"That's the point." He began to gently continue his massage before he leaned down and kissed the back of neck. After deciding carefully, he trailed soft, warm kisses starting at her neck until he reached the small of her back. Hearing her breath catch made him smile as his hands replaced his mouth and the massage started once more.

"Robert?"

"Hm?"

"I'm going to turn over now."

"Are you uncomfortable?"

"No," she answered with a soft chuckle. "I just want to kiss you, is all."

"Oh." He smiled slightly and moved so she could roll over on her back. He took a moment to inspect her and smiled.

"What?"

"Do you know how beautiful you are?"

"Only when you tell me."

He smiled gently and bent down to kiss her softly, attempting to control himself. He thought for a moment that he wouldn't be able to control himself at all once he felt her beneath him, her breasts soft against his chest as he kissed her, like he was saying to her that he had waited for this moment forever and couldn't believe it was finally happening. He pulled away, finally, and stared at her flushed face. "You really are beautiful."

"You said that already."

"Oh. Did I?"

"Yeah. After you removed my bra."

He scowled. "I said that out loud?"

She nodded. "Oh, yeah. What? You thought that blush on my face was just for nothing?"

Robert laughed and shook his head. "I thought it was because your bra was off, but...Jesus, I hadn't realized I said that out loud."

"I didn't mind it."

"I'm sure you didn't," he whispered softly and kissed her again. He could do this the rest of his life and die content. After a few moments of simply kissing her, gentle and sweet with a hint of passion, he moved toward her neck and smiled when she tensed as soon as he hit the spot beneath her ear. He chuckled softly and continued this sweet torture of simple intimacy when she buried her hands in his hair, instinctively.

"Wait." She almost smiled when he stopped immediately and pulled away. She half expected him to say something, but when he only stared at her, his eyes gentle, patient, and understanding, all she wanted to do was cry softly because this -even though they had done nothing yet - was already more than she had ever dreamed of; definitely better than anything Alex Karev could have given her in the on-call room because this man loved her. She wasn't a lay, but a woman he loved and cared for, and that made all the difference. That made her trust him enough to give herself to him, completely, and for the first time in her life not be worried that he wouldn't treat her without care, that he wouldn't hurt her. April was certain he would never intentionally hurt her and tonight he would show her exactly how gentle he could be. Tonight he would show her how much he loved her.

"Hey," his tone was soft, an attempt to reach out and soothe whatever nerve he had hit.

April looked at him; he looked afraid, perhaps a little nervous himself. She wanted to laugh, but instead smiled. Gently, she tugged at the hem of his fleece. "Take this off."

He looked down at his fleece. "Take it off?"

She nodded. "Yes."

With a shrug, he leaned back on his heels and removed the fleece - so afraid that if he hadn't leaned back he might have accidentally hit her. Without much thought, he threw it aside and smiled when she only stared at him. "You want my shirt gone, too?"

"Only if you want." She smirked when he gave her a soft glare. "Doesn't put you in a good place when you call all the shots, does it?"

"Kind of."

After a moment and a relaxed, content sigh, April sat up slightly, grabbing his shirt and pulling him back down on top her. She loved the feel of the soft fabric and almost wanted to laugh about it. It was just a t-shirt, but it was his t-shirt, an article of clothing that acted as a small shield - that protected his skin from the damage of the outside world. It was a shirt that would soon be removed - regardless of this little game they played - and soon she would touch his skin and he would open himself up to her, having nothing to shield his heart from her. Tenderly, she ran her fingers across his cheek until her hand intertwined itself in his hair, his eyes steady on hers, as if waiting for her to make a move. April realized now was her time to make her move - so they could both move forward, uninhibited.

"Robert?"

"What?"

"I love you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He smiled. "You know, I knew you loved me. I knew from the minute you entered my office that you loved me because...Because for you to be with me tonight, you wouldn't give that up if you didn't love me. And, you know what? I love you, too. More than you could ever know."

April wasn't sure where the confidence had come from, but she kissed him with more passion than she knew she was capable of. This wasn't anything like it had been with Alex Karev, where he had taken the lead and laid her down on a cot, freaking out when she told him to take it slow. April knew she had nothing to fear with Robert, nothing at all because he had simply stared at her, waiting for her to make a move. He was a man who loved her, completely, and it finally hit her how much she loved him. It robbed her of her breath, the way he at first reacted slowly but then met her kisses by crushing her mouth against his. For a moment she thought she wasn't breathing at all, but floating out of her body, staring down at them and wondering how the hell she had gotten so lucky to find a man who loved her so completely and honestly.

And she loved him so much, wanted him so much at this moment, that she tugged at his shirt impatiently, wanting it off so she could see that she affected him equally, if not more. It became almost unbearable - especially with how he kissed her like separating would hurt his soul - and it finally reached the point where she couldn't take it anymore. She had enough and removed his shirt herself, chuckling when he threw it aside. April threw her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, thankful finally that their skin finally touched.

She wanted to drown in him, in the way he nibbled at her ear or how he caressed her breasts; the sweet torture was almost unbearable. It was thoughtful, how he was taking his time, but she couldn't take it anymore. Like that, she wanted him to lose control, just for a moment. Deciding to test the waters, she wrapped her arms around his neck; every so often he would hit the spot right below her ear that sent chills down her spine, and she would react by - gently - running her manicured nails up his back, feeling him tense as shivers surrounded him, too.

They were playing with fire - teasing each other - so much that he couldn't take it much longer. It was instinctive, really, the way he rocked his hips against her; for a moment he thought he might have overstepped a boundary but when she moaned softly and mirrored his action, he smiled and captured her mouth again. He loved the taste of her, the smell of her perfume and shampoo intoxicated him further, slowly driving him insane.

He couldn't take any more of this.

Robert kissed her one more time before he trailed kisses down to her navel and back up again, settling on her right breast, finally. He glanced up at her slightly, watching her reaction as he sucked her nipple gently. He heard her sigh softly and decided - after a few moments of nervous debate internally - that if she was uncomfortable or didn't like what he was doing, she would say something. He kept telling himself that, but God, her first time and all...He didn't want to leave anything to chance. Surging up gently, he propped himself up on his hands so all his weight wasn't on top of her. Her face was flushed slightly, her breathing steadily turning hollow. "April-"

"Why'd you stop?"

He smiled. "What?"

"Why did you stop?" She repeated, not agitated, but breathless.

"I wasn't sure if you-"

"I told you," she kissed him powerfully, "that I would tell you if you were doing something that I didn't like, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then please don't stop because that...I liked that." The longing feeling went away as he returned to her breasts again. The need to touch him grew stronger so she buried her hands in his hair again. After a few moments of gently massaging his scalp - because she didn't want her hands just sitting there - she felt him sigh against her, his warm breath sending shivers down her spine - or was that because he had switched breasts and was silently making her yearn for more? She wasn't sure, and frankly, she didn't care; April knew that she never wanted whatever it was he was doing to arouse her to end. She wanted - needed - more of this sweet bliss.

He stared up at her the minute she urged him lower, her hips rising to meet his. She gave him nothing to guess that she was second guessing her decision. Smiling gently, he held her hips down gently as he placed wet, open-mouthed kisses on her smooth stomach. Robert stopped himself from groaning when she continued to massage his scalp, gently, in response to his kisses. Were they not in bed - were this not her first time - he was certain he would have laughed; she, a virgin, sure seemed to know what zones to hit. He took a moment to collect himself when his fingers settle on the button of her jeans, staring up at her. Because her face was obscured from view, he surged upward and kissed her softly; her mouth was warm, wet, pleading. "Hey."

She sighed softly, content in anticipation, in the pace they were continuing at. "Yeah?"

"I'm going to take your jeans off now."

April laughed. "I know. You think I didn't figure that out when I pushed you lower?"

Robert smiled and kissed her again, eager and excited - as well as content because she was calling the shots. She might not realize it, but she was deciding their progression, and he wouldn't go any farther without her okay. He was excruciatingly gentle and slow as he unbuttoned her jeans and began to slide them off, smiling when she rose her hips so he could remove them easier. He watched her closely as he pulled them off completely and threw them into the slowly growing pile of clothes. Swallowing his nervousness, he removed her underwear as well so she was no fully naked before him. He couldn't help but smile at her - at the nervous yet satisfied look in her eyes. "You're beautiful."

"I know."

He laughed at her cocky tone and shook his head. Staring at her carefully, he asked, "I know you haven't gone all the way, but-"

"No."

He nodded slowly. "Want to give it a try?"

April only stared at him for a moment, unsure really what to expect before she managed to ask, "Will...Will you go slow?"

"Of course."

She sighed before nodded slowly.

Robert inspected her closely, feeling a bit of hesitance from her that didn't necessarily bother him except he thought for a moment that she was agreeing to this only because that's what she thought he wanted. "Are you sure?"

She nodded again, this time more confident than the last, and threw in a nod for good measure. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"Okay."

She knew by the way he spread her legs that he was attempting to be as gentle and slow as possible. He placed gentle kisses from her knee to the inside of her thigh, stopping for a moment to perform the action on the other leg. She was nervous, slightly, and her nerves only heightened when he stopped and simply breathed; she could feel his hot breath against her and nearly came off the bed when he kissed and licked her inner thighs.

He surprised her with his next move, which wasn't as gentle as the others; he grabbed her hips and lifted her up, allowing himself better access. April gasped softly as he began to explore her, teasing gently with his tongue, going slow like she had asked. She had thought nothing could be any better than this until he flicked her clit with his tongue; moaning softly, she prayed this would never end. His mouth was so warm, gentle, and experienced, that soon she was on the edge. He tortured her, blissfully, changing tempos every so often - she was sure just to infuriate her and keep her on edge - but God she didn't care. It was wonderful and amazing the way his tongue weaved through her folds.

Suddenly he stopped, pulling away from her. She wanted to grab his shoulders and bring him back to her, but was so surprised that she only stared at him. "What?"

Robert smiled at the whine in her voice - the silent plea - and shook his head. "April-"

"Please." She sighed heavily when he only stared at her; she was so close and he had pulled away from her. This was all torture, but suddenly it all made sense to her. He wanted her to come with him, to experience their first orgasm together. This was suddenly much more than just sex; this was making love, and it brought tears to her eyes. But she couldn't wait any longer. Impatient and eager, she moved and deftly unbuttoned his pants.

He caught her wrists and told her gently, "Lay back down."

April only stared at him, his eyes steady though filled with a desire she had never seen before. She complied and soon he was completely naked before her, grabbing the bottle of lubricant and a condom from his nightstand before he returned to her again. She closed her eyes and breathed in heavily - not out of fear but anticipation because this was finally here, and because of him and his tenderness, she wasn't afraid. When she opened her eyes again, he was hovering above her and gazing her down at her gently. April couldn't help but smile and blush slightly.

He kissed her before he asked, "You ready?"

She only nodded slowly.

"I'll go slow, I promise."

"I trust you."

"April, look at me." He waited to say anything until she was completely looking at him and he was certain she wouldn't turn away. "I've tried to make you as comfortable and relaxed as possible, you know foreplay and-"

"Lube?"

"Yeah. But..." He scowled slightly before he kissed her again. "This still is going to hurt a little bit, okay? And...And that's normal."

"I know." She smiled at him and kissed him gently, hoping it was enough to express exactly how much she trusted and loved him. "I'm ready, really."

Wordlessly, he adjusted himself so he was at her opening. He kissed her one final time before he slid himself inside her slowly, as gentle as he possibly could, careful not to bury himself inside her with one thrust. Her cry rocked him, making him think for a moment that he had irreparably hurt her. He knew, however, that the pain would soon subside to a dull ache; he waited for a brief second before he slid completely inside her, so surrounded by her warmth that he fought for breath.

Still, he didn't begin to move, giving her a chance to get used to him; he kissed her softly, repeatedly, and whispered sweet-nothings to her. He felt the need to tell her how much he loved her, how fantastic she felt, and how he was so thankful that this was finally happening. It took him a moment to realize that she was staring up at him, expectantly, before he whispered, "Are you all right?"

She nodded, the discomfort mild but strong enough so she recognized it; she hoped it would go away eventually. She silently thanked all her lucky stars that this was how it was happening and not a one-night stand in an on-call room. He had waited, made sure she was ready, and now he was inside her completely; despite the pain, it brought tears to her eyes. April kissed him as he began to move, slow and gentle like he had promised. She didn't want to let him go and found herself robbed of breath once more when he kissed her passionately, one hand buried in her tresses and the other caressing her breast gently.

The pleasure inside her grew with each powerful thrust; she could feel the pressure building as he made love to her. April was close to tears - not from pain, but from pleasure and how gentle he was with her, how much he loved her. She wasn't sure she could take any more of this buildup and thrust her hips against his, smirking when he moaned against her ear. Her nails dug into his shoulders when his pace quickened. She wrapped her legs around him and gasped when he sunk deeper inside her.

He began to kiss her neck, noting how on the edge she was when her breathing became shallow and her entire body tensed beneath him. He continued to fondle her breast before he began to stroke here clit, kissing her powerfully as his thrusts grew frantic. He knew before she started moaning that she was in the throes of her orgasm; her entire body tensed, her face flushed, and he thought for a moment that she stopped breathing. Wanting to ride her orgasm with her, he thrust inside her one more time, hard, and groaned when her muscles tightened against him as he reached his own release.

Robert was more concerned with her now as he pulled out gently, inspecting the look of bliss on her face, the afterglow quickly taking affect. She simply laid there, exhausted, and he watched her chest rise and fall with each heavy breath. She was beautiful, in this soft lighting, he decided, as he disposed of the condom properly. When he returned to bed, she still hadn't moved and he chuckled softly as he joined her, gently running his fingers along her skin; every so often he would kiss her, waiting until she came back down to earth. Finally, he smiled when she looked over at him. "Hey."

"Hey."

"You all right?"

She nodded slowly and curled up against him, her head resting against his chest; she lazily drew circles and lines on his skin as he mirrored the action on her back gently. "I'm fantastic."

He smiled. "It didn't hurt too bad, did it?"

April shook her head. "No, it didn't. You were fine, Robert. I would have told you if something was wrong."

"Good."

She looked up at him, slightly nervous now. "Was I all right?"

"You were fantastic. Don't worry about me."

April sighed before she kissed his chest gently, loving the closeness after such an intimate act. "I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"The sheets."

"No," he whispered gently, kissing her forehead gently. "They're just sheets. That can be taken care of easily. Besides, it's common to bleed during your first time."

"Yeah?"

He nodded. "Don't worry."

"I'm going to be sore tomorrow, aren't I?"

"Yeah."

She only murmured softly in response. "So worth it."

He smiled when she yawned. "Let's get some sleep."

"Okay."

Robert had thought he would be the one to fall asleep immediately after sex, but she must have been so exhausted from today and sex that sleep was exactly what she needed. He didn't mind, however, and kissed her forehead gently before he fell asleep moments later, thankful that she was finally his and they had reached this moment of perfect unity.