Chapter 25: Sick and Trying to Make the Most Out of It

Cough, cough.

Shit.

Cough, cough.

No. No no no. Oh, dear god, NO.

Another great, hacking cough tore through my throat.

I was back in my warm, fluffy bed in my comfortable room in the Varia HQ. The Caldo Family disaster was over and done with, most of them were hopefully dead, my favourite assassins in the whole world (don't tell them that) are safe, and we were finally allowed home after being stuck in the Vongola specialized hospital for three days.

The first thing I did when we arrived home, tired and grumpy, at eleven p.m., was pull on my warmest fleece pyjamas, shove on the fluffiest socks I could find, and crawled into bed to essentially die for a few hours.

Then I woke up and found I really was dying.

I hate my life.

"Natsuki-chan, are you up yet?" Lussuria sang, opening the door to my bedroom and sauntering in like he owned the place. Granted, the Varia did, but still, a girl needs her privacy.

I coughed some more in response. Dammit. I opened my mouth to tell him to fudge off, but I coughed instead.

Why did this have to happen to me NOW? Of course, only while I was lying in the hospital bed did I remember I still had college, and I needed to pass my online courses to get a diploma, and that I probably missed a LOT while I was away on their mission. Why schoolwork never crossed my mind when faced with assassinations are beyond me.

I was planning on catching up on all my studies today. AND to cook a roast for the Varia for dinner. Now I didn't even want to get out of bed. Was it always this cold in here, or is it just me?

"Suki-chan? Are you feeling okay?"

I groaned.

Lussuria walked forwards and felt my forehead. "Oh~my!" He clapped his hands to his cheek. "You are having a terribly high fever! Goodness, Suki-chan, you must have caught something during the mission!"

"Yeah, maybe." I coughed some more and sat up, feeling a dull ache in my head as a response. "But that doesn't matter, Luss, I have a lot to do today."

"Oh, no you can't! Darling, you need to go right back to sleep and have some rest!"

"No, Luss-nee-chan. I seriously need to study for school, and I need to prepare the roast if it's going to be ready by dinner."

"Suki-chan …" here, his glasses flashed and a dark look passed over his face, and the flamboyant but lovable man looked incredibly dangerous and menacing. "You are going to lie back down and sleep, okay?"

I slowly got back under the covers. "You didn't have to … be scary … Lussuria … totally uncalled for …"

I sighed and let the man win. For now. But I, Sawada Natsuki, does NOT back away from anything!

And, seriously. I really needed to catch up on schoolwork.

"What's going on?" Squalo demanded the second Lussuria walked into the kitchen. "Where's Natsuki?"

"Suki-chan is fine, Squ, she just appears to have caught a little cold."

"You mean she's SICK?" Squalo yelped, looking shocked. Lussuria wondered if the thought ever occurred to Squalo that not everybody is a healthy as the silver-haired swordsman. Well, he needs to be, anyway. Who else will do the paperwork if he falls ill?

But that's besides the point.

"Well, Squ, generally that is what you call someone who has caught a little cold."

"Fuck off, Lussuria! Well, what do we do?"

Lussuria sighed and poured himself some coffee. "The fever is really high, so I instructed the poor dear to sleep on it. It doesn't look like it'll go away that easily, though. You might have to make her some of that wonderful soup of yours, Squalo."

Squalo's cheeks turned red. "I don't make SOUP!" He yelled after the martial arts assassin as he walked away. But, as usual, Squalo's furious and completely untrue denial was ignored.

So, I didn't follow Lussuria's orders.

I couldn't just laze about after we just got back, right? I had to do SOMETHING.

Even a few days away from the mansion had reduced the creepy castle to dust. Despite my forehead being hot enough to fry an egg and my vision blurring every time I took a step, I forced myself to get some cleaning done in the castle.

It should be fine. I mean, I've gone through worse, right? I managed to hold on for two and a half weeks of near-starvation and exhaustion back in the day, and that wasn't even when the Varia liked me!

I was just halfway done scrubbing the floor of the living room when someone kicked away my brush. "Hey! Asswipe! I'm busy here!" I protested.

"Ushishishi, what is the principessa doing out of bed?"

I looked up and gulped. Bel was standing in front of me, creepy grin on his face as usual, but I could tell (after knowing him for so long) that he was not very happy.

"Uh, who told you anything like that? I'm supposed to be out of bed."

"You're a terrible liar, princess."

"Shit." I took pride in my lying. In fact, I always thought I was a great liar. Hell, I used to think I could make a living by lying! This is depressing.

Or the fever is making me hallucinate.

"Either way, Bel, can you let me do my job? I'm still the Varia's maid, and I have a lot of cleaning to do, and I need to study for –"

"The cleaning and studying can wait." Bel's hand shot up and pulled me to my feet. Damn, the kid was strong for someone so freaking scrawny. Where did all that strength come from? "Let's go."

"Be~e~e~l!" I whined as he half-pulled, half-dragged me back to my room like I was some sort of naughty little child. Hey! I'M the older one here! What's going on?

"Ushishishi," he chuckled before shoving me back into the bed. I sulkily pulled up the covers and glared at him as he left the room. "Lussuria told us you were sick. Don't even THINK of leaving again until that fever goes down, Varia di Principessa."

There it was again. Varia's Princess. The first time someone called me that, it was Pesce Sciolto.

There he was, suddenly in front of me, standing before my bed. His handsome, relaxed face turned cold and evil, just like it did before he hit me, and once again I felt that overwhelming aura, choking me, pressing on my throat, holding a blade towards my heart.

Then there were the Varia – my closest and most precious friends, getting tortured by those electrical chains again. They were yelling and screaming in pain and calling for me, begging for me to help them … but I couldn't.

I don't have the Sfera, I tried to tell them. I couldn't help them, I couldn't do anything.

Squalo glared at me with betrayal in his eyes, electricity twisting his bones out of his sockets. Levi looked disappointed before bursting into flames and slumping, unmoving, to the ground. Bel, blood leaking out of the corners of his mouth, his ears, and from underneath his bangs where his eyes should be, frowned sadly at me.

"Aren't you our Varia di Principessa?"

I'm sorry, I tried to say, but nothing was coming out. I can't. I can't even move.

And there was Xanxus, half of his skin rotting away so I could see the gleaming bones of the skeleton underneath, glaring at me with one blood-red eye. "Then you're useless. You're wasting our time. We got hurt because of you."

Then I remember crying and crying, until I was falling into a pool of my own tears, and I was drowning and calling for Tsuna, but he wasn't there, and someone's hand closed around my throat –

I woke up, breathing heavily, sweating. It was just a bad dream. A nightmare caused by the fever.

I just stayed on the bed for a while, not doing anything. When it became clear I couldn't fall asleep again – the sunlight piercing through the blinds into my room weren't helping – I got up and tried sneaking out to clean again.

Hey, I was sick. Might as well make life difficult for everyone else.

My second – or was it third – attempt at doing my job did not go over well. Levi caught me and said, gently but firmly, that it was under Boss' orders that I do not leave my room and sleep. I managed to look sorry and promise to go straight to bed, and he seemed satisfied.

Poor, misguided Levi A Than. Bel was totally lying when he said I couldn't lie. Or maybe Levi was stupid. Bel's a genius, after all.

So I quickly snuck to the kitchen and began cooking. This time around, Squalo caught me, and long and rather unpleasant story short, he threatened to disembowel me with his sword if he caught me outside again.

Then I tried running away, which was probably an even worse idea than my original one (which kinda involved stabbing Squalo with a spatula and blaming it on Bel – just for something to do, y'know?), and Squalo slung me over his shoulder like a sack of (very attractive and cute) potatoes and sent me, squawking and kicking, back to bed.

So I tried again. Because Sawada Natsuki does not give up. Ever.

Unless, of course, I end up facing the leader of a pack of crazy psychos next.

"Oh … uh, ahem … hey, Xanxus."

Xanxus was not amused.

"Why can't you just be a normal, obedient young girl for once and do as you're told?" Xanxus growled, red eyes flashing. I flinched and tried to come across as nonchalant.

"Um, because I live to piss you off?"

"Yes, you do." Then he grabbed my wrist and dragged me back to bed.

I tried to fight off the weird blush creeping up into my cheeks (WHY is it that I react so much to him? God, why are you doing this to me? Damn you all) and tried to twist away. "But it's so boring there! And I have so much stuff to do!"

"Not anymore." He opened the door to my bedroom and practically threw me inside. I stumbled forwards and nearly smashed into the corners of my desk. "Boss' orders."

Then he slammed the door shut and I heard a distinct clicking noise.

"YOU ASSHOLE! YOU DID NOT JUST LOCK THE DOOR!"

And he didn't answer. Prick.

You know, you'd think after everything I'm going through, I would fall in love with a super-nice, kind, thoughtful hunk, like that Dino guy from the Cavallone Family. But no. I had to fall in love with a total ass.

Not … not that I'm in love with him. Or anything.

I wonder how long I'm going to continue denying it.

I tried sleeping. I really, honest-to-God did try. I went into bed, tossed around in the sheets, drank a bucketload of water for my flaming throat. Then I coughed some more until I thought my eyes were going to pop out, and tried to ignore the extreme pounding headache in my burning head.

But then I remembered I still had to study.

I dragged myself out of bed and turned on my laptop. After conversing with one of my online course buddies, Alina, she frantically demanded to know where I disappeared to and told me everything I missed.

Which was a lot.

I had about one hundred and twenty-two pages to read followed by an Italian history essay, and I had to study for a test that was happening … all in two days.

I was fucking screwed.

Squalo came in a little while later, most likely to check if I was actually resting and not trying to escape out the window or whatever.

"What the f – VOOOOIII! DAMN YOU, WOMAN! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST STAY IN BED AND SLEEP LIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO?!"

"NOOOOO!" I shrieked when he ripped the book from my hands. "NO, DAMMIT! SQUALO! I NEED THAT! I NEED IT, I CAN'T REST, I HAVE TO STUDY – NO, DON'T RIP IT!"

I managed to throw myself onto his shoulders before he could tear it apart. What resulted was a very long and very entertaining fight that made Bel saunter over to watch.

When I finally managed to wrestle the book out of his reach, that was because I was sitting on his chest with a foot to his throat. He pushed me off of him and grumbled a bit. "Dammit, you … go to sleep, woman!"

He and Bel forced me into the bed and locked the door again, Bel grinning like a maniac and promising to make Squalo bring me soup. I heard the sound of something being thrown against the wall and Squalo screaming again.

They may have got me in bed this time. But they forgot one precious thing.

They didn't take my books.

So I made a system. The second I heard footsteps outside, I would dash to my bed and pretend to be in a deep sleep. That seemed to work for most people. Well, then again, Squalo, Levi, and Lussuria only bothered to come in and make sure I was on the bed at all. Bel and Mammon were harder to fool, but they also cared the least, so it sort of balanced out.

By three in the afternoon, I was growing frantic. I had only two days to write an essay and read a freaking novel, and if I failed that exam, my mark would go below passing average for sure. I may be fluent in speaking Italian and reading simple stuff, but the way the textbooks are written is impossible for me to comprehend. My brain just immediately switches to Japanese.

I was about three seconds away from a full-blown panic attack when I didn't listen for the door and it slammed open. Xanxus was there, and he was pissed.

"I thought they told you to go to fucking sleep already!"

"No! Go away!" I muttered, not even looking up from the textbook I was frantically flipping through.

"For fuck's sakes …" Xanxus growled, before trying to pull the book away. "Just go to sleep, dammit! I'll fucking blow up all this trash with the X-Guns if you don't, woman!"

"GO AWAY!"

Xanxus stopped. I furiously wiped at my eyes. Darn it, why were my eyes tearing up like this? It must be the fever.

"Woman. What's the big deal anyway? What's the point in doing this?"

"YOU probably don't understand, dickass, but I need to find a way to make a living!" I said, a hysterical tone reaching into my voice now. "I can't just stay here forever, I need to find a way to support myself! I refuse to live my life with only a high school diploma! I want to at LEAST get a college degree, I don't want to spend the rest of my life dependent on other people! So leave me alone, I have a LOT to study!"

There was a long silence after my outburst. I tearfully grabbed the textbook and started flipping through it again, trying to jam in a hundred and twenty-two pages worth of Italian law and politics into my head.

I thought he left. Then I heard a low oath and the book was yanked out of my hands.

"Hey!" I protested, fighting the urge to cough. "Asshole! I NEED that!"

He ignored me and chucked the book out of the room and into the hall. Then he leaned in close and glared at me.

Dammit, why was it happening again? The stupid thing where my face turns red and my heart starts pounding and SHIT it's happened before so I can't even blame it on my fever.

WHAT'S THE POINT IN BEING SICK IF I CAN'T BLAME IT FOR ANYTHING?

"Listen, woman, 'cuz I'm only repeating this once," he snarled, not breaking eye contact with me. "What does it fucking matter? If you haven't noticed, you are related to the greatest mafia family in the world, and nobody in the mafia business gives a shit over whether you have a college degree or not. Study that trash if you want, but fact is, I have no use for a servant who can't even go to sleep when her boss orders her to."

Ouch. That was deep. Maybe Xanxus is smarter than I thought.

Holy shit. Xanxus is smart. The world is going to end.

No, I think I'm just hallucinating again.

"B-but either way, I still need to –" I started to stammer.

Xanxus looked like he wanted to facepalm. I wasn't sure if it was because of me or if it was because of him. "For fuck's sakes … what's the big deal if you do or not?"

"W-well, I need to support myself …" I started to say.

"We will take care of you, so who cares about that shit?" He growled, now with a trace of embarrassment in his voice.

I felt my mind go blank, but I think my cheeks were still burning.

He scowled at me again for good measure before stomping out of the room. I was still sitting there, down for the count. Did he REALLY just say what I thought he said?

That they were going to take care of me?

I thought about spending the rest of my life with the Varia. I don't know if it made me happy or sad. Maybe a bit of both.

Or maybe it was just the fever.

Squalo came in a little while later after I actually got some rest and slammed down a tray of chicken noodle soup.

The fever went to my head and I actually burst into tears that he was kind enough to make it for me after all the shit he goes through afterwards. Let's just say Squalo was thoroughly freaked out and refused to go anywhere near my bedroom until my fever went down.

Otaku-chama: Hey, guys. Finally decided to return to FFN. And listen, I feel really bad for this, but I'm deleting my Squalo story. Which sucks, because I loved that story. But I just don't have a mojo for it anymore. I'm going to wait and write some more and save it in my file, then upload it again when I have some sort of solid plan for it.

Also because I'm thinking of writing fanfiction for other fandoms too, namely Hetalia and Harry Potter, so I'm gonna be busy for a while ^^