Sorry for the abnormal delay. I've been a bit distracted lately, but I'm not about to abandon this project anytime soon. I can't really guarantee quality or consistency by this point; however, if you've read this far, those things aren't among your major concerns, are they? Eh, perhaps I think too much. Whatever the case, enjoy! :'L
CHAPTER 25: Starting Up the Cogs
Hailstorm, Applejack, Luigi and Seraphina moved through the castle hall, the entire squadron like a careening locomotive. It would take a super hero to stop their momentum. Every now and then, a small group of Koopa underlings would get trampled by their combined attacks and they would just keep moving forward. They knew exactly where they were going and would waste not a moment more.
The hallway was actually quite long, and there were a few passages branching off, but the main hall itself was a straight shot to the deepest part of the castle.
"Bowser's-a throne room should be at the end of this," Luigi stated. He was as mentally prepared as he could get, but the fact that he had not yet seen Mario worried him. Hopefully, he was already in the throne room, facing off against Bowser.
"So just how tough is Bowser anyway?" Hail asked. "On his own, I mean..." He dreaded the thought of having to meet Trank's soul-sucking stare again.
"Not so tough," Luigi said. "Mario can-a usually take him one-on-one easy. But now, I'm-a not so sure..."
"Shoot," commented Applejack, "If your brother's anythin' like you, I reckon he's doin' just fine."
Luigi looked over at Applejack, the sincerity in her voice helping him feel a lot more confident. He smiled. "Thanks... heh, he's-a probably giving that lizard the beating of his life-a right now."
Hail laughed. "I hope he saves some for-"
The pegasus's banter was interrupted by the hallway shaking madly out of nowhere. The foursome stopped.
"A trap...?" anticipated Sera.
Two walls slammed down on either side of them, walling them off from the rest of the hall, and with a mechanical hum, they could feel their section moving like an elevator. They were carted helplessly upwards, then forwards, until finally the whole thing tilted, causing everyone to fall onto one of the sealing doors.
"Are they seriously going to try and drop us again?" Hail sighed, hovering above the door. Sera braced herself for teleportation.
The top door opened first, revealing a spiked rocky surface that replaced the ceiling. The heroes only had a few moments before the ceiling started to drop rather quickly, and it didn't have very far to fall either.
As soon as he realized his error, Hail pressed down against the floor door, banging on it along with Applejack in a desperate attempt to get it open. Luigi flat-out panicked, crouching atop Hail with his face buried in his hat. The ceiling fell ever closer.
Sera was the only one even remotely calm enough to act reasonably. She considered teleporting, but communicating the idea to her allies would take too much time. Instead, she forced her will onto the door, slamming it open with her Psychic attack.
However, directly below the door was a pool of lava. The chamber had somehow positioned itself outside the castle and over the lava moat, with only a few feet of space in between. All four heroes began to fall towards it.
Hail's pegasus instincts kicked in, and his wings caught himself just before hitting the lava. Sera managed to teleport herself and Applejack a short distance, on top of Hail's back next to Luigi.
The extra weight nearly caught him off-guard, but the sight of the ceiling that was now less than a yard from his head motivated him to slip through the tiny space between the chamber and the lava. With a sizzling splash, the spiked ceiling collided with the bright boiling liquid just as Hailstorm increased his altitude.
Finally with a moment to themselves, Hailstorm found himself losing energy quickly having to carry three passengers, one of them his own size. He shot for the only open window in the castle, dumping everyone onto the floor and stopping to catch his breath. His heart pounded so heavily, the floor took on a slight quiver.
"Wheeew," sighed Applejack. "Won't this be a tale to tell."
"Too bad you won't live long enough to tell it!"
The rescue party had gone out of the frying pan and into the fire. They looked up to see the face that adorned the rest of the castle... in the flesh.
"You nubs have an uncanny way of falling right into our traps." From behind Bowser stepped - or rather, floated - a familiar yellow triangle. Its blue arms were crossed in front of its expressionless face, and its voice echoed from somewhere within, giving the eerie impression that the body was just a puppet of some greater demon... a possibility which was looking increasingly likely with each second that its soul-sucking stare bore into the minds of the heroes.
This stare did nothing to slow down Hailstorm's raving heartbeat. Applejack and Luigi looked upon it for the first time and saw a brief glimpse of their own death. Luigi scrambled away, pressing himself against a wall, but Applejack shook it off as best as she could and stood upright in battle position.
"You ain't scarin' me!" Applejack shouted, attempting to stare right back at Trank, but failing to keep eye contact for more than a few seconds at a time.
"I can see the fear in your eyes," Trank droned, causing the earth pony to flinch. "You've no better chance than the rest of them. Just look at your nublet of a Pokemon."
Sera was perfectly still. Not even the sort of stillness that they had come to expect from her, but a cold stillness, as if she were a corpse. The others could only guess what had happened to her telepathic mind.
"Bwahahaha!" laughed Bowser. "If Mario was a snap, these guys will be a piece of cake!"
"M... M... Mario...?" Luigi stuttered. Even his brother had failed... and there was no telling where he was, or even if he was still alive. Whatever the case, it was all up to him now. His fists clenched, quickly getting to his feet, glaring flaming daggers straight at Bowser... though at this rate, he may have been able to meet Trank himself eye-to-eye... "What... did you do... to Mario..."
"Let's just say he won't be a problem to us anymore," Bowser answered with a sinister grin, remaining confident.
Luigi lunged at Bowser with a scream that was somewhere between a war cry and a desperate bawl. The battle had officially begun.
Blah was quite lucky to have the Flying Nimrod; it seemed a bit unsafe, being nothing more than a cloud, but it was fast and precise. Blah and Astra made it back to Ponyville in less than an hour.
Astra looked at the town in wonder. There were indeed many colorful ponies here, some winged and some horned, and they all appeared to be no less intelligent than humans. She may have lived near a mixed community of humans and anthropomorphic animals, but this was completely new and strange to her.
Blah, on the other hand, was more concerned about what happened to the town itself. There had obviously been an attack on the town not too long ago, but since then, they were cleaning up quite nicely with the help of several miniature mushroom-headed men.
"Toads?" asked Blah. "Wow, now the Mushroom Kingdom is involved..." This was the first he had seen of the Mario universe in this world.
"Do you think it was Bowser that attacked this town?" Astra asked.
Blah was taken aback. "You know about Bowser?"
"Of course. Westside has been in contact with the Mushroom Kingdom for years now."
Blah stared at Astra, blinking. Years? Most of the places Blah had been to were only just becoming aware of the others...
"...you didn't know that?" Astra continued.
"Well, it's just, I thought..." Blah shook his head. "Nevermind! We need to find out if it was really Bowser or someone else..."
"Halt!" Blah's cloud was stopped in its tracks by a pair of regally-armored pegasus guards. Astra was quite impressed with their radiance and authority. "By order of Princess Celestia, no strangers are allowed entry into Ponyville until Twilight Sparkle is recovered."
'Yep, sounds about right,' thought Blah. "Good idea, but we're not strangers," he argued. "Haven't you heard of Blahsadfeguie, the one who saved Ponyville from the Corruption?"
"Hah," scoffed the royal guard, "Nice try, but that was just a rumor. And you don't exactly look like hero material anyway."
"'Rumor'?" repeated Blah. "It really happened, just ask any pony in Ponyville..."
"The Corruption never happened. It was just an elaborate prank played by Trixie, a local parlor magician."
Blah was dumbfounded. Was Princess Celestia really denying the chaos that ensued less than a week prior? 'Leave it up to the government...' Blah lamented. "...Well, either way!" he played along. "I'm already a friend of the town, and of Twilight, and I demand to know who kidnapped her and where they're holding her!"
"We appreciate the concern," the guard continued, "but we have already dispatched a team of heroes to the location in which she is currently being held. You have nothing to worry about."
"And who would that be?" pressed Blah.
"That is none of your concern. We have everything under control here, and the town should be open to the public again tomorrow."
"It's the rest of the Mane Six, isn't it?" Blah guessed. "Wait, do they even call them that in the show...? Uh, the wielders of the Elements of Harmony?"
The other guard gave him a suspicious look. "How do you know about the Elements?"
"How do YOU know about the Elements?" Blah bounced back, his tone becoming discernibly tense due to impatience, and unsure on how to convince the guards to let him pass.
"We're royal guards, we're supposed to know this stuff," the guard answered, matching Blah's tone. "Now get out of my sight before we remove you by force."
"Someone else is coming," Astra cut in, pointing behind the guards. One guard kept his eyes on Blah and Astra while the other had a look - it was a gray-coated pegasus mare with a blond mane carrying a rather large package on her back. The guard sighed.
"Um, excuse me," she announced in an exasperated voice, "does anypony know where I can find a Mr..." She pulled out a small card and strained her uncoordinated eyes to focus on reading it. "Blah... Bla-shad... Blassad-fergie?"
"Blahsadfeguie?" corrected the oddly-named guy in bewilderment. "Yeah, that's me."
"Oh, finally! I knew it wasn't a pony." She flew around the annoyed guards nonchalantly and passed Blah the package. It was about 2 feet square, and rather slim, but somewhat heavy. As Blah examined the package, the mailmare eyed him up and down.
"Say, aren't you the outsider who saved Ponyville from the weird purple stuff?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. The guards exchanged nervous glances. Blah could tell that something was up.
"Why, yes, that was me," Blah said proudly, making sure that the guards could hear. "And I heard that something else is amiss in this innocent town?"
The guards attempted to interrupt, but they were themselves interrupted by the other pegasus. "Ohhh, sure is, Mr. Blassadfergie! Some evil turtle dragon came with a bunch of smaller turtles and set everything on fire, then kidnapped Twilight and ran off! It was horrible!"
"So it WAS Bowser," Astra muttered. Blah nodded. There was no doubt in either of their minds now. "So who was sent to rescue her?"
"Oh yeah, there was this one other human with a silly mustache... Louie, I think his name was... he came to town and told everypony about the attacker, and then he and three others went to that Bowser's castle..."
"And the three others?" Blah prompted.
"Let's see, one of them was Applejack, that I'm sure of... then there was that one winter pegasus... Hailstone? Oh, and Hailstone's pet. It looked kind of like a fox, but it could read minds or something..."
"Hailstorm and Seraphina," Blah confirmed. "Well, looks like we get to kill two birds with one stone."
"You're killing birds?" the pegasus said in shock. "With rocks? What did they ever do to you?"
"...It's an expression," Blah explained, a bit taken aback. "It means to take care of two things at once. We're not really killing birds."
"Oh. Oh yeah, that explains a lot of things... I'm sorry, I'm just a little... slow, sometimes. They don't call me Derpy Hooves for nothing..."
"It's ok, everyone has their flaws," Blah comforted the downed Derpy. "Yours is kind of charming, in a way. In fact, a lot of people back where I come from adore that kind of thing."
"Really...?" Derpy's smile re-emerged. "Well, I do tend to make ponies laugh."
"...Small talk is nice," Astra spoke up, the cuteness factor a little overwhelming, "but don't we have other priorities here?"
"I was getting to that," Blah replied. He turned towards the guards. "Now, you mind letting us through? It's not like you have anything to hide anymore."
The guards exchanged glances. "You may pass..." the first one surrendered. "Just... don't tell Celestia about this, ok?"
"Gotcha," Blah agreed half-heartedly as he steered the Nimrod around the guards. 'It's like the princess has a bone to pick with me or something...'
The cloud went in for a landing in town, followed closely by Derpy. "Now, there's only one question I have before we go on that rescue mission," Blah said as he and Astra hopped off. "Why would Bowser want to kidnap Twilight if Equestria and the Mushroom Kingdom had nothing to do with each other?"
"Iiiii have a question too," Derpy chimed. "What's in that package anyway? I deliver so much mail I'm always curious about what's being sent..."
"Oooookay," Blah droned, "I'm kind of curious myself, I guess. Astra, go ahead and get a start on asking around town, see if they know anything about why Bowser attacked."
"All right..." Astra headed off towards the town square.
The young girl nervously scoured the streets, taking in the sights and trying to convince herself that this wasn't some kind of dream. Aside from the half-repaired destruction, Ponyville looked like something out of a toddler's storybook - a near-utopian society filled with cute, colorful talking horses. It was such a shame that the innocence had to be ruined by Bowser's selfish desires.
She was hesitant to approach any of the ponies for some reason she couldn't quite grasp - something to do with not being completely certain if they were even real, perhaps. And then she saw a familiar beige-and-brown mushroom cap in front of the library, overseeing its repair.
"Toadsworth?" she asked.
"Do make this quick, I'm very busy as you can no doubt tell." The toad was getting on in his years, and his wrinkled face and gray mustache showed it. He looked back at Astra, the sight of whom was somewhat of a relief to him. "Ah, Astra, what a sight for sore eyes. We could use all the help we can get, you see."
"Same here..." She looked up at the large, charred tree and briefly pondered how one fixes a tree building while retaining its natural look. "What do you know about the attack on this town?"
"Well... it was Bowser, and he kidnapped the curator of this library, a magician of rather high status," Toadsworth explained.
Astra nodded. "Twilight Sparkle... Yes, I heard. My question is, why? What is Bowser planning?"
"Hmm, we haven't quite determined the reasoning behind it," Toadsworth rubbed his chin. "Not long before, he attacked the Mushroom Kingdom as well and made off with our Princess... but sadly, that's practically a given at this point."
A thought occurred to her. "I was attacked recently by an army of sentient dragons... do you think they might have some connection with Bowser?"
"I say, dragons?" repeated Toadsworth in shock. "Goodness, there WAS rumor of Bowser forming a dark alliance with a previously unknown force, but... dragons?"
"Yeah, dragons," Astra affirmed. "Thankfully, we had help... but that doesn't matter right now. What about that rumor?"
Toadsworth cleared his throat, calming down. "I thought it was a rumor, at least, but now I'm not so sure... plus, there was the fact that he wasn't alone in kidnapping the Princess."
"Who was with him?" Astra asked, now paying close attention.
"Well, it was a..." He looked down in concentration. "A... hm, I'm not entirely sure WHAT it was, actually. All I know is that it was only about 2 feet tall, levitated, and was shaped like an isosceles triangle with two thin blue arms."
"Hmm... I hope Blah knows what that is, because I sure don't..."
"All right, it seems I can't go 2 minutes without hearing about this Blah character," Toadsworth sighed. "Who is he exactly?"
"He's... a friend," Astra simplified. "Someone I met a while ago. I haven't seen him around anywhere before, but he seems to know a lot about the world... a lot more than I do... He claims that our universe melded somehow with 7 others, and he has to destroy a bunch of jewels to make everything normal again."
"Yes, that would explain a lot," mumbled Toadsworth.
"And from what I've gathered, Twilight is likely the second most knowledgeable about the subject..."
"So, Bowser must have kidnapped Twilight Sparkle for his new ally to keep that information under wraps, in return for said ally helping him kidnap the princess. By Jove, that's diabolical..."
"Indeed..." Astra looked out into the distance, down a path leading out of the town. "We'll need to know how to get to Bowser's castle, so we can help out however we can."
Blah first examined the package for the address label, but there was no return address, name, or anything. All it said was "Blahsadfeguie". Shrugging, he ripped open the box, unleashing a small flurry of packing peanuts. He dug through the styrofoam and grasped a slim, cold object, pulling it out of the box...
It was a laptop computer, gray and black, somewhat of an old model. It had already seen a bit of wear and use, about three years' worth, in fact. "No way..." He lifted the lid and booted it up while Derpy watched in wonder. He saw the logos, and a familiar picture appeared on the screen as it asked for a password...
"This is MY laptop!" Blah cried, half in joy, half in astonishment. It was the first thing he had seen of his old home world since he woke up in Terrarialand a week or so ago. He punched in the password, pleased to see that it still worked.
"What is it?" Derpy asked, squinting at the screen as the desktop loaded in rather slowly.
"Well, this is called a computer," Blah explained. "It's a sophisticated piece of technology that can do... well, all kinds of things."
"Can it make muffins?"
"Uh... not directly, but you can look up muffin recipes on the internet." Blah opened up Google and typed "muffin recipes". Pretty soon, the screen was filled with samples of different recipes.
"Whoa... All of that is in that little thing?" Derpy closely examined the computer, noting how thin it was.
"Well, not exactly. The internet is a... hmm." Blah paused, not entirely sure how to explain something as huge as the internet. "Well, think of it like a massive magical library that computers can access at any ti- waaaait a second!" Blah stopped as the realization hit him. "How the heck am I getting a signal in Equestria?"
"Magic?" guessed Derpy with a large shrug.
"Yeah, let's go with that," Blah dismissed. "Anyway, I'd better shut this down to conserve battery po-"
There was a ping, accompanied by a yellowish window appearing on the screen. "And apparently I have Pesterchum installed now too..."
- moderatingDischarge [MD] began trolling desultoryMonarch [DM] at 20:21 -
MD: }You're welcome.{
Blah stared at the screen for a moment. Derpy leaned in to read the relatively small text. "What's this?"
"Uh, well, you can use the internet to talk to people too, anywhere in the world." Blah began typing up a response.
"Wow, really?" Derpy exclaimed. "Could I use it to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Cake and order up a batch of muffins right now?"
"I'll get you some muffins later, if you want them so much, just please let me do this," Blah hastily shooed the pegasus as he continued typing.
DM: who is this exactly?
MD: }A friend.{
MD: }I truZt that you will uZe your gift wiZely.{
DM: well if playing games counts as using a computer wisely
DM: specifically this one which I pretty much only use to play games anyway
DM: but yeah you'll have to be way more specific than "a friend"
MD: }TruZt me, playing gameZ iZ the moZt important thing you will be doing with that computer.{
DM: oh haha, I see what you did there
DM: it's because of SBURB isn't it
DM: totally didn't see that one coming
DM: or wait, lemme guess
DM: }ZBURB{
DM: now please stop dodging the question
MD: }I cannot Ztay long, aZ I have Zome important work to do.{
MD: }ThiZ iZ probably the only time you will hear from me.{
DM: and I just noticed that your initials are like
DM: the inverse of mine
DM: what's up with that?
DM: are you like my patron troll or something
MD: }You Zhould not aZk any queZtion whoZe anZwer you cannot handle.{
MD: }Goodbye, BlahZadfeguie.{
- moderatingDischarge [MD] ceased trolling desultoryMonarch [DM] at 20:23 -
Blah closed the laptop in disgust.
Derpy looked back and forth between the laptop and Blah. "That sure was a weird way of spelling."