AN - 2nd update for today, I watch last night's casualty and my god was it amazing but I can't believe they are gone, Don't worry I wont stop writing this though. I not sure what time I finish work tomorrow yet so unsure on if I will be able to update - So please enjoy this chapter :)

Without even thinking about knocking to see if anyone was in there I just throw open the door and walked in.

"Fletch I'm so sorry" I said as I noticed him, he was just standing there in his boxers

"Sam, don't worry about it, what brings you here?" He asked while pulling on his scrubs.

"Dad was having a go at me so I stormed out and ended up here. What about you?" I asked while rocking the pram.

"Nat, kicked me out, didn't know where else to go" He said simply.

"Oh fletch you should have said, I would have offered you the sofa" I told him smiling.

"Thanks but I think even this bed is a bit more comfy then a sofa" Fletch said laughing.

"I suppose your right" I smiled and Oliver started to cry so I picked him up and gently rocked him while taking a seat on the bed, it wasn't long before he had stopped cry and was pulling on my hair gurgling to himself. "So why where you kicked out?" I asked.

"I told Nat, that I cheated on her" Fletch admitted and I nodded my head as I was the first person he told. "Why did your Dad have a go at you" Fletch added.

"The RTC on the M23 by the docks, me and Tom went out to see if we could help and I was meant to be on my way into the ED to collect the boys so Dad thought we were involved and was going mad because I didn't phone him then he asked me if he didn't have the boys would I have still gone out to try and help them, of course I wouldn't leave them alone but because Dad had them I thought I would go see if we could help and he didn't believe me and I can't help but think what if he's right, I would lose the boys, leaving them home alone" I admitted and started to stroke Oliver's hair.

"Sam you would never do that, you love your little boys more than anything in the world anyone can see that and your Dad just wants you to be safe and not to get injured or put yourself at risk but we also know how much you love your job Sam and you are always ready to jump back into action and help everyone you can but sometimes it's not going to be that is especially now with the boys to look after you are going to have to take a step back and just let everyone else do it while you watch your boys grown and then when they get a bit older liker Amelia and are at school you can come back in and be daring self again, you know full well if you were still out in Afghanistan you would have be sent home as soon as they found out you were pregnant but here at least you worked up until the day you popped" Fletch said smiling. I just nodded and played with Oliver and thought about what he said. "I need to go to work I suppose" He added and he gave me a hug before getting up and heading off.

I can't help but think about what Fletch said, he is just so right, I do love my boys more than anything but I also love my job and it's true I find it hard when I'm not at work but I know that with a little time I will get used to it and I can just take a step back and then when the boys are older I can think about coming back to work. I placed Oliver down on the bed and put a pillow either side of him so he didn't roll off not that they are even that active yet and went to get William out of the pram to have a cuddle.

I laid both boys down on the bed and sat crossed legged tickling their feet. I can't seem to shake off what Dad said what if one day I can't help myself and I go out and something does happen to me. I just don't know anymore. I promised the girls I would go sit with them so maybe I should it might help keep my mind off of things.

"Should we go see you cousins?" I asked putting on a baby voice and wriggling there feet about and William lifted his arms to me and Oliver gurgled. "I take that as a yes then?" I added and picked up Oliver and placed him in the pram and then turning back to William who was looking around the room I then picked him up and placed a kiss on his forehead before placing him into the pram and opening the door. I took a deep breath before walking out but as soon as I did I bumped into Tom.

"Babe Fletch told me you were in here, he said Nick had a go at you and you were feeling quite upset so I came to have a quick cuddle with you and the boys" Tom smiled, leaning over the pram and stroking both the boys heads then looked back up to me and I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

"Oh babe come here" He said embracing me into a hug. "What did he say?" Tom asked and I wiped my tears and pulled back.

"He was just going on about not telling him and how I was stupid to go out while on maternity leave and all that kind of stuff but then he asked 'Would you have done it if you had the boys' and I questioned him on if he really needed to ask that and he didn't believe me when I said I wouldn't have and what if he's right Tom what if I can't stop myself and I leave them at home to go and help someone, I can't do it. I'm such a terrible Mum; it was bound to happen I could never look after a new-born why did I ever think this would work?" I asked starting to cry again.

"Sammy, stop you're not a terrible Mum at all you are the most amazing one ever, you have all that it takes to be the best Mum going and I could see last night you were lost without the boys and Amelia, you are so able to look after children you are just too scared about what people think of you and just ignore them Sammy no matter what they say it doesn't matter because I know that you are the best Mum ever and no matter what you are there for your babies all three of them. I know for a fact you only went out there today because they were not at home if they were you would have never left. If you think back on the first time we found out you were pregnant you couldn't stop worrying about what if's and guess what none of them ever happened we have two beautiful baby boys and a very stunning little princess who all adore you, I've seen the way those boys look up to you Sammy and that's with love they may only be young but they know you're their Mummy and you would do anything to protect them and I know for a fact that Amelia would be lost without you, you have walked in to her life and left the same impact you have on me, stolen our hearts and we don't want them back as life without you is something I can't bear to think about, now why don't we go see the girls, Rebecca has woken up and Emily is going to be fine and we can wait with them until the health visitor shows up she phoned going mad because we weren't at home and I explained what had happened and she was more than happy to come here and see us" Tom explained and I just smiled at everything he said.

"Do you really mean all of that?" I asked and he just nodded.

"Of course I do Sammy" He said pulling me into a hug again when William started to cry so he let me go and went to pick him up. "Let's go see the girl's they have been asking for you, and leave your Dad to me, I'll sort it out with him"

"Don't go losing you job over this please" I said concerned.

"I won't say anything that bad" He winked and opened the door for me to follow him. And we walked down the hallway to cubicles I couldn't help but smile at him and William they looked so perfect together and Oliver was just playing with his feet and I smiled down at him and he just smiled a very cheeky smile back at me and it made my heart melt!

"Tom Ollie just smiled at me" I said proudly ruffling his little head of hair and he smiled again this time with Tom watching and he turned to me "No if you were a Rubbish Mummy do you really thing he would be smiling at you?" He questioned and I just placed a kiss on his lips.

"You know Tom, I completely forgot the health visitor was coming" I said laughing. He just shook his head and started to jog away so I chased after him but not too quick as I didn't want to push the pram that fast.