Author's Notes: Happy Valentine's Day, guys! And more importantly, happy Friday. HAPPY GAME BANG DAY. Here's hoping for some Iancorn Valentine moments haha. THE LAST TIME I UPDATED ON A FRIDAY AND WISHED FOR IANCORN, IT HAPPENED. So maybe that's the trick! Haha anyway, not much to say beyond that. Enjoy! o/
EDIT: :( nope. I guess my wishes weren't meant to come true. You're killing me, Smosh Games!
There was an ominous atmosphere in the ER waiting room as the family and Joshua sat there. David's mother had offered to bring Joshua home, but he refused - saying Kalel was a friend and he had to be there for her. David borrowed Mari's phone and called Ian, letting him know the situation and telling him to call Anthony. Once the mechanical things were out of the way, all they could do was wait. And waiting was worse than anything because it allowed David's anxious thoughts to snowball into the worst possible scenarios. What if she didn't make it? How could he deal with knowing he was mostly responsible for her death? What would her future have held if this hadn't happened?
David folded his hands together in front of his face, resting his lips against his thumbs. It was a motion akin to prayer, except he didn't know the first thing to do beyond that. He never believed in God or any of those spiritual things before, but if it took a miracle beyond his power to right this wrong, he was willing to try anything. So he shut his eyes and repeated the mantra to himself and any deity who might have been listening - please let her be okay. PLEASE let her be okay!
Twenty agonizing minutes passed by; twenty agonizing minutes of people rushing in with various maladies, nurses scurrying around, and, ultimately, twenty minutes of waiting. Eventually, the door burst open with Ian and Anthony dashing inside. David lowered his hands and looked up at them somberly.
Anthony was the first to locate the group, scurrying over with breathless concern, "How is she?"
David shook his head gravely, "No word."
"We've been waiting for about a half hour now," Joshua added.
Mari sat there, chewing her nails anxiously, "I was so scared. I never saw someone bleeding like that before. And I've seen a lot of injuries and messed up things happen over my career as a dancer. I just hope she's okay..."
"You and me both," Anthony agreed, swallowing his lump of fear.
"You..." Kenichi began low, extending his index finger toward Anthony. "You did this to my daughter! It's because of you she's not sleeping! It's because of you, she's distracted from her studies!"
Anthony's eyes widened at the accusation, and for a moment, no one jumped to his defense, not even himself. He made a sound of protest, but David got up first, "No. If anyone it's because of you."
It was Kenichi's turn to be surprised. He reared back for a second, astonished, before regaining his bearings, "What did you just say?"
"You heard me. Maybe if you didn't give her so much pressure to fit into your mold. Maybe if you spent a little more time nurturing her for who she is and less time praising her accomplishments as though they're the only things she's worth, we wouldn't be here. Maybe if you accepted that Kalel's less than perfect and that's what makes her beautiful, we wouldn't be in this fucked up mess!" David's voice rose by the end as did his anger. He wasn't necessarily mad at Kenichi, more so at the situation, but Kenichi made a great scapegoat.
Everyone fell into stunned silence. For a moment, Kenichi's expression contorted in rage - but the expression soon collapsed into despair. "You're right. You're right, I've been a terrible father." He looked toward Anthony. "I'm sorry."
Anthony shrugged it off, "It's no big deal. And there's no point in tossing the blame on anyone. We all want the same thing right now - for her to be okay. So let's focus on that, yeah?"
The group nodded, but David didn't feel appeased. He was still full of anger - at himself and at the situation - that he needed to do something. He couldn't just sit there. So he muttered that he was going outside, storming forward and grabbing the nearest trash can - upending it on his war path before kicking the door open. David stalked through the parking lot, moving forward with no real goal in mind. After a few seconds, he heard the door open behind him - and then in no time, there was a warm rush of arms around his waist. David didn't even have to turn around to know it was Ian.
As soon as he felt that touch, all of his emotions came pouring out. The tears he'd been holding back, the guilt he'd been trying to suppress, and the general sense of helplessness he locked away inside - David's arm came up to his mouth to muffle the sound of his sobs, and he uttered on a breath, "It's my fault."
"No, it's not. You're just blaming yourself," Ian nosed into the back of David's hair.
He shook his head rapidly in protest, "No. It is!" David fought his way out of Ian's arms, whirling around to face him. His world was a chaotic mess right now, and he felt out of control - angry with nothing to destroy, sad with not nearly enough tears to cry. "I did it!" He took the bottle of pills out of his pocket and presented them. "I gave these to her a few weeks ago. I didn't know she'd start abusing them. I didn't know she'd eventually black out and crack her head open. I just thought I was helping."
Ian seemed surprised, snatching the Ativan out of his hands and reading the label. He fingered the lid for a moment, frowning, "Sometimes the best intentions go to shit. But it's not your fault. If she had taken them as she needed them, she probably wouldn't be in this boat. You can't blame yourself. You can only just wait."
"And that's supposed to be comforting? Wow, I feel so fucking comforted!" David lunged forward and took the pills back. "I should swallow the rest of these right now and join her, and don't fucking touch me!" He stepped back abruptly when Ian reached out for him.
"David, think about what you'd put your family through if you were hurt, too. They're already sad. Kalel wouldn't want this. And it would just about kill your friends. Me, especially. So just calm down, please?"
David's breathing was erratic and it was becoming difficult to concentrate. "I'm a murderer, Ian! A fucking murderer!"
"No one's died. Kalel's not going to die."
"You don't know that! You didn't see the blood! They'll do an autopsy and they'll know. They'll know it was me. I have to leave. I have to get out of here. I-" David's arm was suddenly snatched, and Ian was dragging him close, yanking him into a kiss. A sound broke in his throat, and he pressed his hands against Ian's chest, torn between tearing himself away and pulling him closer. After a moment of fighting with himself, David gave in and allowed himself this one small joy, if for nothing else - the wonderful distraction it created.
Ian was the first to pull back, settling his hands on David's cheeks and lowering his head so he could look him in the eye, "Stop. Stop doing this to yourself. Live in the moment, and at the moment, she's alive and in the doctor's care. No one is blaming you, and it's not your fault."
It was easy to say, but Ian couldn't understand David's guilt. He just wanted it to go away, he wanted everything to go away. It would be so nice to become pleasantly numb. And then an idea hit him, "Hey. You're a dealer, right? What do you got in your bag of tricks that'll make me feel better?"
Ian sighed. He obviously didn't like where this was going, "I've got a ton of shit. But I think your best bet'll be smoking some weed. You know how you react to it, and you know it well enough to hide it. If you go heavy right now, there's a risk you won't be able to pull yourself back. Like Kalel. Like me."
"I appreciate your concern, but I don't think you can tell how much I don't give a fuck right now."
"No. I can. And that's what scares me."
David had been about to respond when the door opened and Joshua emerged, "Hey, guys..." He scratched the side of his neck awkwardly, obviously realizing he interrupted something intense. "The doctor came out and updated us on Kalel. She's got a...um. A...uh..." he snapped his fingers, trying to remember the exact scientific term. "A subsomething hematoma. It means blood on the brain. It's only mild, though, and they expect it to be drained within a few days. We're allowed to visit. They're in there right now. The doctor said Kalel woke up briefly and began to freak out, so they had to sedate her - but she's conscious and responsive, and they think she'll make a full recovery."
David hung on Joshua's every word, and by the time he had finished, a great sense of relief came washing over him. To hear Kalel would be alright put every fear he had at ease. Now he had a second chance. Now he could get her off of the Ativan and back to her normal life.
He reached out, hugging Ian to call it a truce before approaching Joshua and doing the same. "Let's go see her..." David needed to apologize. He needed to set things right.
The pair nodded their agreement, and David led the way into the hospital before lagging to let Joshua take over. He didn't know what room she was in, after all. So he followed his friend, moving to Ian's side and slipping his arm around the small of his back. Ian responded by wrapping his around David's shoulder and drawing him close. Things had become so emotionally exhausting, and now that the conflict had come to a resolution, David felt drained and could appreciate the warmth and closeness Ian offered.
It didn't take very long for them to reach the room, and with the everyone crammed in there already, it was difficult to find a place to stand. David wedged his way between his mother and the wall, so relieved to see Kalel alive. She was weak and very heavy-lidded, but responsive albeit sluggishly. Currently, Anthony was kneeling by her side with her hand in his, mumbling words of adoration and well-wishes. There was fresh gauze taped to the side of her forehead and wires running from her limbs to various machinery. The sad thing was David knew if it weren't for the sedative, Kalel would insist on being up and practicing. How they were going to keep her from going insane, David didn't know.
He stepped closer to Anthony, "Hey...can I...?" He didn't even have to finish his question before Anthony nodded, letting go of Kalel's hand and changing places with David. David sank down so he was eye level with Kalel, smiling faintly, "Hey."
She forced the same kind of smile, answering hoarsely, "Hey."
"You gave us all a pretty good scare. Which I guess fits since Halloween is right around the corner. But no more of that, okay?"
Her expression saddened, "I'm sorry." The words hinted she was sorry for a great deal only David knew about.
"Just take care of yourself, Kalel. And get better. Everyone's counting on you to come back home as soon as possible." He took her hand, pressing her fingers to his lips before he rose to his feet - not wanting to hog all the time with her when there were still people who had things to say. And David imagined they wanted to say them while she was still semi-conscious.
He returned to Ian's side, resting his shoulder against Ian's, and that was as much as he dared to touch him in the presence of his family. Everyone had a turn, rotating around the room and talking to Kalel until she inevitably nodded off. They still stayed with her, as though they were afraid the minute they left the room, she would slip away from them again. Only when the hospital staff came in and told them they needed to run some more tests, did they all, reluctantly, leave their post.
Everyone was stoic for the most part, brave but blank faced. It was only Anthony who wore his emotions on his sleeve. It was only Anthony who was so full of love that he couldn't contain how upset he was about the situation. Ian moved over toward him, clamping his hand on his shoulder and offering a comforting pat - a silent way of saying he was there. Anthony forced a smile, and although it was forced, it was still appreciative.
With nothing else they could do here, they decided to leave. Considering dinner had been ruined, David's mother suggested they pick up pizza on the way home (and a salad for Mari because that was the only thing she knew was vegan) and that became the new food plan. They divided when they reached the parking lot. Kenichi, Mari, and David's mother went off in the car they came in while David and Joshua went with Ian. Anthony was the only one who left the same way he arrived - alone.
The car ride had been filled with a heavy silence. Even Joshua, who would have normally been bristling with joy over having so many interactions with a hot girl, was silent and pensive. Ian got to Josh's house first, dropping him off, leaving Ian and David alone for the rest of the ride. David leaned his head against Ian's shoulder, idly watching the traffic and headlights as they blurred past them, and Ian turned his chin so he could press a light kiss on David's crown.
David smiled a little after the affection, so grateful to have someone in his life to take on this role, "Thanks for being there..."
"Anytime. Are you gonna be okay tonight? Do you need me to stay with you?"
He thought about it for a moment. While having Ian there would be great and probably help him sleep better in the long run, David kind of wanted the solitude. He believed he deserved to be punished - to suffer alone with his thoughts for putting Kalel through this in the first place. "No, it's fine. I'll be fine. The family should probably just be together tonight."
Ian nodded, "I understand." But there was an underscore of disappointment in his voice.
David reached out, taking his hand and squeezing, "Ian, you've done more than enough for me ever since the first time we met. Maybe you can't be there tonight, but you gave me a lot of the strength I have to deal with this mess."
"Strong as you may be, you did threaten to kill yourself earlier. And I just don't want you to go to sleep with that self-destructing seed planted anywhere in your mind. You're too important."
"I beg to differ. If it wasn't for me, I don't think Kalel would be in this mess..."
"You don't know that."
"I'm fine, Ian. I've lived up to this point with suicidal thoughts and anxieties. I've wanted to kill myself because of my anxiety, but I have too much anxiety to kill myself. Either way, I couldn't win. But I lived. Well, I existed. I didn't really start living until I came here," he smiled. "Until I met you. I just hope you don't look down on me for all my issues."
"Do you look down on me for being addicted to dope?"
David was taken off guard by the question, but he shook his head nonetheless, "No. Why would I?"
"That's how I feel about you. I'm into the guy you are now - issues, baggage and all. Not to be cocky, well okay, maybe just a little bit, but I think we're better with each other than we are without."
David didn't think there was anything cocky about speaking the truth. "Agreed."
They pulled up to David's house, parking at the end of the long driveway, "So now that we're here, how about I give you a goodnight blowjob?"
"B-but they could be back at any time-"
"Which means you'll just have to make it quick," Ian smirked, undoing his seatbelt before slipping his hand between David's thighs.
"You know I can't resist you and it's totally not cool for you to use that against me," David sighed when against his will, his cock began to surge to attention.
Mercifully, Ian didn't waste any time teasing him. He rubbed until David was semi-hard, and then opened up his pants to set him free. David wasn't exposed for long, though, because Ian had descended upon him - swallowing him right down to the base. He sighed and enjoyed, eternally grateful for Ian's lack of a gag reflex. Pleasure warmed his body, and David gladly rode the waves. He didn't think of holding back, watching as Ian's head bobbed up and down along his shaft - each time surrounding him with such moist, wonderful heat. His concerns about being caught were thrown out the window because David knew if he kept them in the back of his mind, they would prevent him from a rapid-fire orgasm.
His breath came in pants, his hips jerked and twitched unsteadily. Ian worked him faster which drove him mad. David tangled his fingers in Ian's hair, moaning and cursing as he neared climax. And then letting go of all the tensions and stress for the day, he released into Ian's mouth - feeling everything drain from him at once and being left wonderfully calm. At least, he was calm until the headlights shined in the back of their car. And then he scrambled to tuck himself in as discreetly as possible, while Ian sat upright - wiping his mouth with his hand.
"Think they saw anything?" David looked in the side mirror before shielding his eyes from the bright reflecting light.
"They know you're sexually active, so what should it matter?"
"It matters because they don't know I have a boyfriend. I'm not exactly ready to have that conversation..."
Ian sighed, "I get it. I do. But it's frustrating to have to hide when you were the one who made such a big deal about us being together in the first place."
"What's frustrating is you're doing this now," David glanced over his shoulder to see the car behind them had shut down and everyone was getting out. "This is something I have to do in my own time. Nothing you do or say can make that time come faster."
"Well, why don't you let me know when you're done hiding from yourself...?"
David sighed, "Don't get mad."
"There's a difference between anger and frustration, David," Ian glanced over at him, and when his family went in the house, he asked. "Do I at least get a kiss?"
David looked over with a weak smile, "What? The goodnight blowjob wasn't enough?" He reached out, planting a light kiss on Ian's lips. "Alright, I'm hungry and there's pizza, so I'm gonna head in. Have a good night, and I'll see you tomorrow."
"Sleep well. And don't do anything stupid," Ian's expression was serious and solemn.
"I won't," David stole another quick kiss. "I promise." He got out and waved before heading inside.
When he entered and kicked off his shoes, everyone was already eating. Silence loomed over them, filled only by the sound of the television and the distant blaring of videogame music from David's room. He headed to the kitchen and his mother looked up, "You left your tv on upstairs."
David nodded, grabbing a plate and putting two slices onto it, "I'll go take care of it." He took a big bite, heading up the steps two at a time. A bit of sauce dribbled onto his hand and he licked it clean, coming to a pause beside Kalel's open door.
He frowned, so used to her being there and hearing her music lately that a part of him felt completely empty without her presence around. As much as Ian tried to tell him differently, it was all his fault. He provided the self-destructing key that unraveled Kalel, and now the only thing he could do was move forward and help her manage her stress in more positive ways. With that thought in mind, he headed to his room - coming to a pause at the door and nearly dropping his plate in surprise.
Sitting there on the edge of his bed with a controller in hand was Matt. He glanced up briefly, raising a brow at David's shock.
"What? You asked me to come, remember? Pretty weird that you invite me over and then bail, though. Hey - you got pizza and you didn't bring me some? Not cool, bro. Not cool."