A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)

CieloFede-Thanks for reviewing!:) That's a nice compliment...*jumps around like a crazy person*MY STORY MAKES THE MOST SENSE! YAY!*calms down* (don't ask, sometimes I am crazyXD) I think I told you this via PM already, but I'll make sure to put that in the sequel to 'Adventures of Elsa and Anna':)

ACC123456789-Lol, I did get to see it last...Thursday, I believe? (Or was it Friday?:P) Anyway, IT WAS SO CUTE! I really, really liked Frozen Fever3:)

Fatten Saad-Here's the next update!;):)

olaf99-Lol, that's true.:P Elsa DOES go into the secret passages near the end of this chapter...:) Thanks!:) I'm surprised I got this chapter typed up even this soon...I still have a whole bunch of school stuff to do-_-:/ :P

princessdianaofparadiseisland-Yeah, well...:/ That IS true, and it happens in this chapter:P

On to the story!:)

Elsa stuck with her plan as the weeks and then months passed. Even though she was only seeing Anna at mealtimes and talking to her through the door, Elsa was still happier than she had been before the shipwreck. I know it's rotten to feel this way, but I'm glad I can at least talk to Anna without getting in trouble, she thought one December morning, which happened to be Anna's birthday. Elsa realized with a slightly bitter edge that she would have been much, much happier during those previous ten years if she had simply been allowed to talk to her sister. No, it wasn't the same as seeing Anna face to face, and she still couldn't give Anna a hug or anything; but at least she wasn't completely isolated and lonely anymore. Just talking to Anna was enough to make Elsa happier.

The only trouble with the new situation was that the longer Elsa continued with it, Anna began sounding impatient and irritated when she talked to Elsa. And Elsa had no idea how to explain to Anna why she stayed in her room so much. Anna knew Elsa didn't actually want to shut her sister out, but Elsa had no logical explanation, which irritated both of them to no end.

So the two girls were beginning to grow apart again, despite their talks through the door. Those two/three weeks they had spent together drifted into the few happy but seemingly irretrievable memories Elsa had. At least I had a little bit of happy time with Anna. I'll just concentrate on that.

"Elsa…today's my birthday, so I was wondering if, you know, you'd come out, at least for today?" Anna asked from out in the hall.

Elsa bit her lip. Surely I can make it through one day…I owe Anna that. She might be irritated with me, but she hasn't forgotten me. "Okay…only for today." She quickly went to the door (Elsa was very happy she had her lock back now) and went into the hall with Anna. "Happy birthday, Anna."

"Thanks, Elsa." Anna reached to touch her sister's shoulder, but Elsa backed out of reach.

I almost hurt her before…I can't let Anna touch me again. Another voice niggled in her head, You aren't going to hurt Anna if she just touches your shoulder and that's it. It'll be fine. But what if it isn't? the negative thoughts told her. Elsa's mind argued back and forth as she completely zoned out from reality. Finally, Elsa realized what was really happening.

"Earth to Elsa!" Anna said for the umpteenth time, gently shaking Elsa's shoulders.

"Anna, get away from me!" Not safe…not safe… Elsa backed away from her sister right into the hallway wall. I suppose the negative side of my mind must have won, she thought absently. Elsa's heart twisted when she saw Anna's hurt expression. "I'm sorry, Anna…I'm so, so sorry!" She darted back into her room and locked the door. Conceal, don't feel…conceal, don't feel. I hurt Anna's feelings. She probably feels like I did when Mom and Dad yanked her away from me during the hurricane and we were all in the cellar that one time. Elsa buried her face in her hands and cried as snowflakes began falling around her. Hurting Anna was the absolute last thing on earth Elsa wanted to do. She could deal with herself getting hurt, but not Anna. I wonder if Anna made that hurt, sad expression every time I told her to go away all that time.

"Elsa, please come out! I won't try to touch you again if you don't want me to!" Anna was confused; Elsa had let her touch her shoulder lots of times before, so what was the problem now? Another step backward, she thought sadly. How could Anna help Elsa feel better and more like her old self if she was reverting back to her old ways?

Elsa took a deep breath. "Just…give me a few minutes…I'm coming. I'm sorry I'm messing up your birthday. Again." Calm down, Elsa. Calm down. You have to spend your sister's own birthday with her. You've missed enough of them. Make the snowflakes stop falling. She wiped her eyes and started pacing. The falling snowflakes followed her, much to her dismay. Why won't they go away?!

Outside in the hall, Anna wondered what to do. She knew Elsa was upset about something, although she didn't know what. I shouldn't make Elsa feel like she's forced to come out. That probably hurts her just as much as staying in there all the time does, 'cause she thinks I'm hurt and upset too. Which is kinda true, but I can't do that to Elsa. "It's ok if you don't wanna come out," Anna said. "I won't bother you anymore."

Elsa misinterpreted that comment to mean that Anna didn't want her around anymore. But I like you bothering me. Please don't hate me. I'll understand if you do, but I can't deal with it. She went to sit in the window seat and said nothing. Elsa bit her lip and blinked back tears. All she'd wanted was a few minutes by herself before she spent the one day with Anna. It was too much. I've shut Anna out for too long.

The rest of that day was horrible for both Elsa and Anna. Both of them thought that the other just didn't want to be with her, and it hurt.

By spring, Elsa and Anna still hadn't said a word to each other aside from a 'Good morning' or 'Good night' at a meal. Finally Elsa couldn't stand it any longer. Early one morning, she ran down the hall to Anna's room and stuck a letter under her door. Letters were safe.

Elsa felt much better when she arrived back in her room. There. Maybe Anna will reply. I can't expect her to, but I hope she does.

Anna found Elsa's letter an hour and a half later when she woke up after she got dressed. "A letter from Elsa?" she questioned. She quickly unfolded it and started reading. 'Dear Anna, I'm so, so sorry for what I did on your birthday last year. I know you thought you were bothering me, but I like you bothering me. I do understand completely if you hate me now, but-' Here Anna squinted, trying to read what Elsa had crossed out. '-but I don't know if I can deal with it. I'm sorry I'm a useless, defective sister to you.' Anna's eyes filled with tears as she realized exactly what Elsa must have thought. She thought I didn't want her around anymore. Oh, Elsa… Anna blinked a few times; then continued reading. 'I know I act like an unpredictable dummy all the time, but I do love you and care about you. I just don't want to hurt you. I really, truly miss that short time we had together, but that wasn't safe. I'm dangerous…I could have hurt you. What I did was selfish. I just wanted to really be just two normal sisters together again, but we can't. I wanted to fix everything, but I couldn't. Your sister is a failure. I'm really, really sorry. For everything. Can you forgive me, Anna? Please? Your sister, Elsa.'

Anna clutched Elsa's apology letter close. "Elsa thinks I hate her, that I don't want her around," she whispered. "She still thinks she's dangerous and defective…" What did Mom and Dad do to her? Actually, I know exactly what happened to her. Elsa got mistreated for so long she thinks that's the way she's supposed to be treated, that those things are true. How can I help Elsa if she won't come out of that room? She wants to fix things but genuinely believes she can't. Anna had no idea what to do, but she could at least tell Elsa the truth. She took off down the hall and knocked on Elsa's door.

Inside her room, Elsa was hesitantly hopeful when she heard Anna's signature knock. Maybe Anna understands, at least a little bit.

"Elsa, I got your letter. I just wanted you to know I do NOT hate you. I DO want you around. I thought you wanted to be left alone that day, that's all. It was not because I didn't want you there," Anna said.

Elsa smiled a little. "You don't hate me? Even though I can't fix everything?"

"I do not hate you, and I never will," Anna replied sincerely. "I might be a bit mad at you sometimes," she continued, trying to be honest, "but I do NOT hate you. I love you, and I always will. Although I still don't understand why you can't just come out. I know you still think you're dangerous and defective and whatever else, but it IS NOT true."

But it is true. Anna doesn't know what's wrong with me, Elsa thought, backing away from the sharp icicles that had somehow appeared on the floor. And those things prove it. Where did those icicles come from?! I wasn't that upset, just a little. Elsa yelped as she backed into something and tripped, landing hard on the floor. "Ow!" she exclaimed. I hate this. What did I do now? Fell on my own ice. Clumsy.

"Elsa, are you all right in there? What happened?" Anna asked.

Elsa slowly got to her feet and glared angrily at the icicles. She was fine; her ankle was a bit sore, but it wasn't killing her to walk on it or anything. "I'm fine. I just slipped and fell."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Elsa answered. Get out of here, icicles. Nobody wants you here. You keep me away from my sister. You make me dangerous. You made me hurt Anna! "But…that's part of me! It's really all my fault!" she exclaimed, feeling contemptuously disgusted about her own self. Elsa stared down at the icicles on the floor as tears streamed down her cheeks. "I can't do anything about it! It doesn't matter what I do…I'm still dangerous…defective…monster…aberrant freak…I CAN'T FIX IT!" Suddenly Elsa felt just plain angry. If she couldn't fix anything, then why should she try any longer? In a flash, her gloves were tossed in a corner and her hair was pulled down in a single braid down her back. This is me, she thought, looking at herself in the mirror. Or wait, no it isn't. Elsa suddenly remembered something that she had done when she was little. Something she had gotten in trouble for at the time. She closed her eyes, trying to remember exactly how she had done it. I just kinda spun around and it happened…I thought I was making snowflakes. Well, I don't care. I'm doing it now. So there. Elsa spun around and thought snowflakes. She was rewarded with a burst of snow from each palm. That wasn't right. I'm trying something different. Elsa's bare hands flew to her shoulders, and she started thinking 'dress' as she dropped her hands down her skirt to the floor. Now she smiled. It worked! It really, really worked! Her navy blue dress was now a sparkling blue…thing that exposed her shoulders and cascaded in a twirl to the floor.

Ice-dress, she thought, looking in the mirror once again. That's what Mom and Dad called it. Well, you know what? This is me. I'm still defective and dangerous and whatever else, but that girl in the mirror is who I really am. I actually like the way that girl looks, abnormal or no. She looks pretty and…invincible, like nothing could ever bother her. "Except that's not me, either," Elsa said to herself, crossing her arms around her middle as she turned away from the mirror. "I'm not invincible. Everything bothers me. My own self bothers me."

Anna still stood outside Elsa's door, listening, hoping Elsa would say something that would give her a clue as to what was going on. What's Elsa's fault? What can't she do anything about? And she went and called herself all those names…Again. What's 'not Elsa either'? Anna was just more confused than ever. Nothing she heard Elsa say made sense to her.

Elsa wished she knew how to get rid of that sparkly blue ice-dress, but a tiny part of her actually wanted to keep it. To remind her of the actually nice things she could make because of what she considered her disability. To remind her that she had, at one time, been able to control it and therefore should be able to again eventually. She remembered what five-year-old Anna had told her when she'd seen Elsa's creation. 'I think Elsa looks pretty. Kinda grown-up. And sparkly.' "I wish I could-" Elsa's voice cracked, and she finished her sentence in her head instead. I wish I could show Anna. But Anna won't want to know. I hurt her when we were little…I should tell her…she deserves to know. At least she would know why I act the way I do. She ran over to the door and said, "Anna…are you still there?"

"Yeah!" Anna said excitedly. "What is it?"

Elsa bit her lip and clasped her hands together. This is it. My worst secret… "Anna, I…I, um…that is…" Tell her, Elsa. Just one sentence. 'I have ice powers I can't control.' That's it.

"Elsa?" Anna asked. "Go on…" she prompted.

Elsa tried again. "Anna, I have i-" she started to say. I can't do it. What if Anna hates me? What if she wants to lock me in the dungeon like Mom and Dad did because of it? What if she's scared of me? I can't lose Anna entirely again. I'd probably die or go crazy. Literally.

"Elsa, whatever it is, it's all right. Go ahead and say it," Anna said softly. I won't hate you no matter what it is. Elsa, you have i- WHAT?

"Anna…I have i-" Elsa was shaking all over, her eyes scrunched tightly shut, as she tried once again to tell Anna. "I-I…I have…" I can't do it. What's wrong with me? Why is it so impossible to say seven simple words? "ANNA, I CAN'T TELL YOU!" she finally exploded. "There's something seriously wrong with me that can't be cured and I…and I can't tell you what it is!"

Anna frowned. "What on earth could possibly be so wrong with you that you're too terrified to tell me what it is?"

"You'd be surprised," Elsa said quietly.

"Elsa, I wouldn't care even if you had some disease that was deathly contagious. Which I know you don't, but anyways… You'd still just be my sweet older sister. I don't know what…certain people told you, but I don't care what it is; you should not have been mistreated like you were for ten years. It was wrong," Anna said firmly. "And just for argument's sake…let's just there was something seriously wrong with you that couldn't be cured. That just makes the way you were treated all the worse."

"But I…I think I deserved it," Elsa whispered from inside her room. I hurt Anna. What was I thinking, going off making a stupid ice-dress like I did when I was little, even if it is pretty? I don't even know how to get rid of it.

Anna clenched her hands into angry fists. Elsa's gotta be kidding. She did NOT deserve that. AT. ALL. She'd been trying to make Elsa feel better, but it didn't seem to be working. An idea suddenly popped into Anna's head, one that didn't try to make Elsa think differently about herself, but would make her question the way she had been treated in the past at least. "Elsa…answer this then. You keep saying there's something seriously wrong with you that can't be cured. If you knew a young girl who was seriously ill or disabled or whatever, would you lock her in her room, chain her in the dungeon, or keep her from talking to her sister?"

"No…" Elsa said softly.

"So what would you do with her?" Anna prompted.

Elsa thought for a minute before saying, "I don't know. If she'd let me, I'd hold her and give her a hug." That's what I want. And I can't have it. "And tell her that everything would be fine eventually. That I still cared about her even if she was messed up. That she was perfectly fine just the way she was. I'd try to make sure she felt…accepted. Normal." What on earth did I just blather at Anna?! Those are all things I wish Mom and Dad had done for me. Elsa's eyes welled with tears, and she roughly wiped them away. Quit crying, Elsa. You know it's not the same thing for you. You're dangerous. Another thought popped into her head, But they didn't really accept or approve of me even before the accident. And I did know how to control it then. Why can't I control it now?

Anna bit her lip, determined not to start screaming or bawling or something. Elsa just told me what she herself wants. She gave herself away, probably completely unwittingly, when she said 'If she'd let me, I'd hold her and give her a hug.' Why did Mom and Dad treat her like they did? How did they not realize they were hurting her all that time?! Because it's way obvious to me. And Elsa was only eight when all this started. EIGHT! She was just a little girl! All she wanted was her own family to love and accept her, and Mom and Dad took that away from her. Elsa is still hurting inside, even now that they're gone. I know she knows I care about her, but she still thinks she doesn't deserve any better than what she got for the last ten years. Anna finally replied, "Then Elsa, don't you think you ought to be treated the same way like you just said?"

Elsa's legs suddenly buckled under her and she collapsed to the floor. Anna, you just…tried the logic thing on me, but you missed one thing. If I were terminally ill or couldn't walk or something, I still wouldn't be dangerous. That's my problem. My disability made me hurt Anna. I could have killed her! "No, I don't," she answered after a long pause.

"Why ever not?" Anna asked in surprise. I thought for sure that would work.

"Because I'm dangerous, Anna!" Elsa exclaimed. "Look, if I couldn't walk or something, that'd be different. I wish that was what was wrong with me, actually…at least then I could safely spend time with you…" she trailed off.

"Elsa…" Anna paused, wondering what to say. What on earth do I say to her? She just told me she wished she couldn't walk instead of…whatever she's convinced is wrong with her, just so she could spend time with me.

After a long silence, Elsa finally said, "See, Anna? Even you, the eternal Miss Optimist, can't come up with anything. I'm a lost cause."

Anna thought for a moment before saying, "Open the door in five minutes, Elsa, or I'm going to pick the lock. And I mean it." I need to see her. And not at dinner.

Elsa figuratively froze before frantically taking off that ice-dress and sticking it way in the back of her closet before putting on one of her regular dresses and pulling her gloves back on. She knew Anna meant what she said. Okay, calm down, Elsa. You can talk to Anna for a minute. Elsa went to her door and took a deep breath before opening the door. "Here I am, Anna."

Before Elsa could protest, Anna grabbed her and hugged her close. "I don't care what's wrong with you or what you think is wrong with you. I care about you, Elsa. What happened to you was wrong. You deserve better. Ok, I'll stop terrorizing you with hugs now," Anna finished and finally stepped away from Elsa.

Elsa was still reeling a bit from the sudden hug from Anna. "Too…much for me…what if I hurt you?" she asked, holding her hands close to her chest. Anna cares about…me…

"Did you even hear anything I said?" Anna asked, frowning a bit.

Elsa nodded but said nothing. Yeah, I did. But you still don't know what's wrong with me, and I'm too chicken to tell you what it is. Why can't I tell her?

"Well, it's true, Elsa. And one more thing…even if you were dangerous, which I don't believe in the least, I know it wouldn't be your fault. So I wouldn't care. I'd love you lots anyway," Anna told her.

"You…would?" Elsa tilted her head to one side, considering what her sister had just told her. "You wouldn't think I'm a…a…monster?" Elsa's pained blue eyes gazed at Anna, wanting to hope for a positive answer but not quite daring to.

Anna could see the long-standing hurt in her sister's eyes. What has she been told and convinced that I don't know about? "No, Elsa, I would most certainly not think you're a monster," she said firmly. She slowly reached for Elsa's shoulder, giving Elsa a chance to back away if she wanted to. Elsa didn't. Anna gently laid her hand on her sister's shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Can't you tell me what's the matter? I promise I'm not going to hate you for whatever it is."

Elsa opened her mouth to say something; then clamped it shut again. She closed her eyes and thought for a minute. I should tell her. But what if…what if Anna doesn't want me around anymore? I'm quite sure she wouldn't expect my real problem at all. She just thinks I have something I only think is wrong with me. "Anna, I…I can't tell you right now. Maybe someday, but not today. I'm just…not ready…" Once I figure out how to control it, if I do, I can tell Anna. At least then I wouldn't be a danger to her.

"Ok, Elsa. You can try telling me another time." Anna sighed, but she didn't press the issue. I wish Elsa would just tell me. There probably isn't anything wrong with her in the first place anyway.

Elsa gave Anna just a hint of a smile and said, "Thank you for not…trying to make me explain." Then she darted back in her room and locked the door. Why am I such a stupid scaredy-cat? I really should tell her…I'm being selfish because I'm scared of what Anna's reaction would be.

Anna stuck out her tongue at Elsa's door. Why did Elsa just disappear like that? Dumb door. I want my sister! "I guess I'll see you at dinner then?" Anna asked.

"I'll see you at dinner," Elsa repeated. Anna, I really, really appreciate you still being willing to talk to me.

"I love you, Elsa," Anna said.

Me, too. I love you too, Anna. Elsa smiled a bit from the other side of the door and said nothing.

By summer, the two of them talked more at meals, although Elsa still retreated into her room or the study the rest of the time. Anna wished Elsa would start opening up more and, quite honestly, was growing irritated about the whole thing; but she tried her best not to sound irritated when she did get to talk to Elsa. She didn't want to risk hurting Elsa's feelings when she was quite sure that her sister's fragile emotional state-Anna refused to call it Elsa's personality since it was not Elsa's happy self-probably couldn't take it. So Anna kept her irritation to herself.

For her part, Elsa actually did know that Anna was becoming a bit irritated with her, but she didn't blame Anna one bit. I'd be irritated with me, too. But she let Anna continue thinking that she didn't know that Anna was irritated with her, since she knew Anna didn't mean for her to know.

Elsa's nineteenth birthday would have come and gone uneventfully if she hadn't found Certain Things delivered to what was now her desk in the study. She ripped open the first letter. My eyes must be deceiving me, right? she thought.

She reread the letter.

Opened the next one.

Read that one twice.

Opened the third one.

Read that one twice.

"THEY HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" she exploded finally. No, no, no! No way am I doing that. Even if I wasn't…messed up, I would not agree to that. She had received letters like these before, but never three on the same day, and never ones so annoyingly insistent.

Anna heard Elsa's shouting and came knocking on the study door. "Can I come in, Elsa? What's the matter?"

Elsa strode to the door, willing herself to stay calm, and threw the door open. "Hi, Anna," she snapped.

"Whoa, what's got you all unruffled?" Anna asked. She can't be mad at me 'cause she was mad before she let me in.

"This!" Elsa balled up one letter and threw it across the room to Anna. "And this!" she threw the second one "and this!" she threw the third one. "What do they think I am, a stupid, simpering idiot girl who swoons and falls in a dead faint at the thought of getting married?! I might be helpless to fix most things, but I do not need that kind of help!"

Anna smoothed out one of the letters and immediately knew what had irritated her sister so much. She couldn't help but start giggling.

"It's not funny! I'm not accepting any arranged marriages for political reasons! I wouldn't do that even if I were normal and not messed up," Elsa said firmly. "Aw, the poor little girl has lost her parents and needs a shoulder to cry on and help governing her kingdom!" she exclaimed sarcastically. "Well, I don't; I'm fine on my own and just because I'm a young single girl does not mean I can't take care of my country! If and when I need help, my sister can give me any assistance I need. So there."

Anna didn't quite understand Elsa's suddenly volatile mood. "Elsa…usually girls from a royal family your age are already betrothed or married. You're nineteen, not nine…And besides, maybe a romance would be good for you!" Anna suddenly became more animated, thinking that maybe Elsa should accept one of those marriage/betrothal offers. In books Anna had read, if the girl was upset, lots of times a guy would come sweep her off her feet and make her happy again. "Yeah, maybe that's a good idea, Elsa! Maybe you could fall in love and live happily ever after!" she exclaimed, ever the diehard romantic.

Elsa made a face. Anna is crazy! What does she think this is, a fairy tale? Blech on the romance scene is what I say. "Anna, not only am I…messed up and defective and therefore not safe for anyone to be around, let alone get married to; arranged marriages are not going to come out like something you read in a book. The guy could be a creep. He could be abusive. He could be disagreeable, bossy, anything. I have no way of knowing. And most importantly, what if I don't agree with things he wants to do politically for Arendelle? I will not relinquish my authority to someone I don't even know or trust. Just no. Absolutely not. I can mess things up enough on my own, thank you very much." She paused and then added, "I'm still highly insulted that they think a girl needs to get married 'for the good of her kingdom' because she's 'still mourning her late parents' and is 'only a young girl, anyway'. Allow me to throw up now. I've done my grieving in my own way, and it has not affected my ability or non-ability to take care of Arendelle properly. Well, it doesn't now…" Other things affect my ruling capabilities, but being a young girl isn't one of them.

"You didn't go to the funeral service," Anna pointed out. "What are people supposed to think? That wasn't the norm thing for you to do…And lemme just say your 'grieving in your own way' was a rotten, stupid way to deal with things and involved trying to commit s-"

Elsa jerked backwards as though she had been slapped. "Don't finish that," she interrupted. "Just don't." She had no idea what to think. How could Anna throw that in her face? And on the other hand, didn't Anna have the right to do that?

Anna clamped her mouth shut when she realized what she'd just been snapping at her sister. She was more than a little annoyed though that Elsa had completely shot down her ideas for romance…and besides, how could Elsa know any more about such things than Anna did? Both of them had been cooped up in the castle since they were little. "How are you going to have an heir then?" Anna said finally.

Elsa was cut to the quick by Anna's previous comments, and now Anna was just saying a snarky question to her as a comeback. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel. Elsa closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. "You are next in line to the throne, Anna. I needn't worry about having an heir at present. Go read up on Queen Elizabeth I. She never got married."

"What if something happened to me? Then what would you do? Make Rapunzel next in line to Arendelle's throne?"

And why not? "Get out, Anna. Get out of this room. Now," Elsa said in a tone so quiet it seemed a bit menacing. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel.

"I still think-"

"Out! Before I end up doing something I don't want to do!" Elsa glared at Anna and pointed at the door.

Now Anna was thoroughly angry. "Just what are you going to do, Queen Elsa? Put me in the d-"

Elsa's eyes filled with tears. "Do you really think I would do that to you?" she whispered miserably. Calm down, Elsa. Conceal, don't feel. It's nothing like that, Anna. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you. Without waiting for Anna's reply, she added, "I need to go," and dashed for the door, hoping she could make it to her room before losing control.

"Elsa, wait!" Anna exclaimed, finally realizing that she had told Elsa the absolute worst things she could have said. Oops. Big, big oops. Me and my big mouth.

Elsa slowly turned back toward Anna. "Don't bother. If that's the way you really feel about me, it's fine. You only spoke the truth," she said quietly. "Except about the dungeon. I would never do that." She turned back to the door and ran down the hall to her own room. Why am I so upset? Anna was right. People are going to think I'm incompetent since I didn't even go to the funeral. And trying to do what I did was stupid and rotten. I think it was the fact that she suggested, even in jest, that I might put her in the dungeon because I was mad…that's what's so upsetting. Elsa threw herself on her bed and cried her heart out. It hurt so much that Anna had said those things to her, even in the heat of anger.

Anna felt horrible when she saw Elsa's heartbroken expression right before Elsa had run off down the hall. I just…broke Elsa inside. Took away whatever bit of Elsa that had just barely started to heal from all those wrong feelings about herself. How could I do that to her?! I've gotta apologize. She wished she hadn't said those things to her sister, but it was too late. You can't take words back after you say them. Anna had a sick feeling that a simple apology was not going to fix everything, but she had to try.

Elsa had calmed herself down some by the time she heard Anna's knock on the door a few minutes later. "Go away, Anna…" Why is she knocking now?

Anna bit her lip. "I just wanted to apologize, Elsa. I shouldn't have said those things to you. It was mean. I was mad and I spoke without thinking, y'know what I mean?"

"Don't patronize me, Anna. If you spoke without thinking, then deep down inside you really believe those things. What you said was the truth anyway…I was just foolish for hoping that maybe, just maybe, I didn't have to be a stupid, rotten abnormal freak all the time." You were helping me feel a little bit better about myself…Not a lot, but some, just a bit. "I didn't want to accept it. Just leave me alone." Elsa sounded completely detached from what she was talking about, aside from the slight tremor in her voice.

"Elsa…I really am sorry! I didn't mean to say those things! Everybody says things they don't mean when they're angry!"

"Didn't mean to say them because you didn't want to hurt my feelings or didn't mean to say them because you genuinely didn't mean them?" Elsa asked quietly. "Anna, things people say when they're angry are usually simple exaggerations of the truth. They are partly true."

"Well, yeah, I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but-"

Elsa struggled to blink away tears on the other side of the door. "The defective girl who everyone thinks is incompetent to take care of her country as well rests her case. You just admitted it out loud," she interrupted. "Anna, leave me alone. You're just making everything worse. Go away."

But I really didn't mean them, either, Anna finished in her head. What was she supposed to say to Elsa? "Elsa…will I see you at dinner? It is your birthday, after all…"

"I don't know," Elsa said flatly. Meh, I don't care whether it's my birthday or not. Nineteen, eighteen, what's the difference? I don't feel nineteen right now…I may as well be nine. And I really may as well be nine. I'm still that scared, out of control little girl. Those ten years since then haven't fixed anything. This is going into ELEVEN years now. Eight…nineteen…more than a decade.

Anna sighed. I just made her think she has to stay in her room all the time again. "I hope you decide to come down, Elsa," she said finally.

Elsa stayed quiet. Maybe she would come down later; maybe she wouldn't. She really hadn't decided yet. Why should I go downstairs? Does Anna even really want me there or is she just trying to make me feel better? I have no idea. Elsa slipped into the secret passages, something she hadn't done for awhile. She just wanted to take a walk without risking running into anyone. Elsa headed straight for the entrance into the forest and slid the secret door up when she got there. I wish I could go outside again. But I can't. There's no one to come get me this time if someone found me again. She plopped down on the floor just inside the passage and stared outside. I wish I hadn't heard Anna say those things. I'd have rather not known at all. 'Ignorance is bliss'…yeah, definitely true in this case. Elsa decided if she received any more of the annoying marriage offers, she was simply going to reply, 'I must respectfully decline your offer at this time' and nothing else. Short and to the point and everyone would know she meant business.

The only real issue she had with refusing any and all offers was that she could potentially harm Arendelle's trading and economy if other nations refused to do business with her since she was, after all, a recluse young female ruler. She hadn't left the castle since she was eight; nobody would know what to make of her, whether she was knowledgeable regarding statecraft or a simpleminded girl who had authority just because of her birthright. There was also the trouble that because Elsa was just barely nineteen and therefore not of age yet, she still didn't have the absolute authority the monarch of Arendelle would have. She could conduct business, yes, but she didn't have the authority to repeal laws or put new ones in effect. It was actually rather complicated. Elsa still had to sign documents as 'Crown Princess Elsa on behalf of the late King Agdar and Queen Idun' or something else similar. If Anna asked her to open the gates, Elsa literally could not make that happen because her parents' ruling that the gates stayed closed was still in effect. Of course, Elsa supposed that she probably couldn't get in trouble for such a thing since she was still the highest-ranking person of authority in Arendelle, but the circumstances were…unique. To put it simply, Elsa was regent, ruling in her parents' stead with no actual power of her own, until she turned twenty-one.

At which time Elsa would have to have her coronation, which she was absolutely, positively not looking forward to. A public ceremony, a party at the castle with tons of people…Elsa shuddered at the prospect. Luckily it was two whole years away, so she didn't have to dwell on it at the moment.

A/N: Ok, so I made up a little bit of stuff on how Arendelle's government works:P This is not based off anything I read, so if it's not like a real life absolute monarchy government should be, oh well.:) I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENED FOR MOST OF HISTORY; I AM NOT HAVING ANY ARRANGED MARRIAGES! *barf* especially considering that Elsa still has no idea how to control her powers at this point and really can't have anyone in the castle. And besides...there were no arranged marriages in the movie.:P Sorry Anna, your ideas of romance aren't gonna fly anywhere except your imagination:P

And yeah, they've kinda cooked up an awful mess between them at the moment...big, big misunderstanding.:/

Next chapter coming soon...although like before, it'll probably be longer than usual because of school stuff.:/ :P